Getting it under control

[Suzyq0826]

I have finally done something that I should have done five years ago. I've scheduled an appointment with a professional. I've been taking Xanex as prescribed by my GP for five years now, but never dealt with the underlying issues that are the root of my anxiety problems.
I am going to see a psychiatrist as opposed to a psychologist, because I am aware I am going to need medication management as well as therapy...and one-stop shopping makes sense to me.
I think this past long weekend, with my husband half-way around the world gave me the time to really think about what I need to do. I have to get this under control, not only because I am tired of feeling this way and the unpredicability of anxiety attacks...(I do like to consistently be productive and keep an organized schedule and this sure gets in the way), but because I am going to destroy my marriage if I don't do something and get my emotions and psche under control.
My husband is paying the price for what I went through in my previous marriage, which to describe it without going into the grisly details...worse than hell! At the time, I saw my regular doctor who prescribed the Xanax for me, but I think it was like slapping a band-aid on an amputation. I realize I need therapy to deal with the past, and then put it where it belongs. It is not part of my life anymore anywhere but in my head, and to subject my husband to the roller-coaster ride I have is very unfair. I've reread some of the emails I sent him the past 10 days while he was in South Korea...even I think I sound unstable. It's time to get a professional!

[barfer]

I'm a full believer in "the squeaky wheel gets the oil".  Call back the one that said to call back after July 28th and ask her politely if she would mind informing you if there is a cancellation at any time before the 28th.  Sometimes this happens especially with panic or anxiety people.  We are notorious for cancelling appointments.  If she won't do that then leave messages at all the other places that you called and say that you would be more than happy to take a cancellation as well.  That way they know you are serious and ready for treatment.  Who knows, it's worth a try.  

[scaredjo]

i feel really bad for you its wrong if you need the help it should be there, in the  uk its so different theres still waiting lists but if you are desperate for the help its there quickly and we dont have to pay
hang on in there

[Suzyq0826]

I wish it were that easy...it is virtually impossible to get an appointment with a psychiatrist here. I thought I had one, and then the office called back and said they weren't taking any new patients until August, and to call back after July 28th.
Now I'm hunting for a psychologist.....everyone I've called I get nothing but voice mail. The only human I've spoken to today was the one that told me "no new patients." This is so frustrating to set my sights on a course of action and then not be able to follow through. Grrrrrr.....

[scaredjo]

well done for re alising and making a big step, im sure this will help you and fingers crossed by the time hubby gets back you will be feeling miles better and be able to live life to the full
let me know how it helps x

[Suzyq0826]

Thank you...since in the past 5 years I have done nothing about it, I think it is me that is taking charge and addressing the problem by taking advantage of the professional help that is at my disposal. I could always just stay on Xanax forever, but that will not solve anything other than to just make me feel better at the moment.
I do have control, sometimes more than other times, but I want the control back all the time. I do not want this dictating my life anymore. I have demons in my past that have crept into the present and they don't belong there. I know what my anxiety stems from, and it's not something I can make go away...it was very real, even though it was what sometimes seems like a lifetime ago.
When I talked to my husband this morning and told him what I had decided, he told me that he would have suggested it a long time ago, however I would have seen it as a criticism or an attack. He was right, it was something I had to decide for myself.
Suzy

[Nasal_Problems]

Good luck! I think that may be a good move.

I just wanted to say this because I think it's worth noting, YOU are the one who is going to make you better. The therapy can certainly help. But, it's YOU (not them) that will get you going in the right direction. Please remember that. YOU can do this even before you go to see them. YOU have way more control than you realize. I only say this because I wish people said it to me more often.

That said, I think therapy is always a positive. It certainly can't hurt and can definetly help, but it takes time. I wish you all the best. Stay confident and stick with it.