I am very anxious. I am certain I contracted HIV.

[worriedman407]

Hello, I am very worried, anxious, depressed and scared. I'm a gay man. Almost 2 months ago, February 12th I stayed out late and to my own misfortune got very drunk and came home with a guy. I did use a condom with him however, at some point it came off and that is the bit I cannot remember. Ever since i suspected I may have contracted HIV. I never had symptoms for the first 6 weeks. I went to get a test, rapit test and ELISA test which both came back negative. Following the results I started to get symptoms, mild fever/flu like feelings, I had a flat rash or spots in my inner arm and the same on the other inner arm, slight dull ache in my left joint. Headache, I've been anxious and not sleeping. I am just so terrified I feel like my world is falling apart just when my life is meant to be at it's best. I know I Have all the symptoms it has now been 7 weeks and I will be getting tested on Monday. I know the guy was a stranger and he looked like the sort who sleeps around. It was a huge mistake and I never ever normally do this. However it will be one i Live to regret. I Need someone to talk to because im suffering through this alone and if i Have it no one can know. I just dont know what to do. I have all the symptoms I am certain I have it. Worst of all I could have gone for PEP when it happened but was uninformed due to being naive and stupid. I'd always been careful it never really was something i thought id research into. Till now. I feel i Have all the symptoms. Oh and I Have swollen lymph nodes. I feel almost as if everytime I research symptoms they happen. I havent had a temperature yet. The flu went after a week. Before these came on I had gone out a lot that week before and shared drink with someone who had a temperature or so they said. I also have a cough now and tingling in my lips. Oh dear. I just know I have it. So i am trying to prepare. I am a university student. How will I maintain my way of living, or change it? i need a lot of advice and someone to talk to. What will i do without my family or friends or anyone knowing to ensure I can live without obvious symptoms. HELP please.

[worriedman407]

Right sorry to be of bother again, but just thinking after these continued symptoms. What if i contracted HCV at the same time which is why it is not detectable yet. I am only tested for Hepatis B which im Immune to but why am I not tested for A or C in the gum clinics. What if I contracted HCV pr what if due to my drinking they cannot detect HIV? Can a test overcome these other diseases. I just think its very dumb of gum clinics not to test for the diseases which affect HIV detection as then their tests completely fall through the window.

[worriedman407]

Thanks. I understand your annoyance, the test is negatvive at 7 weeks. But its just the muscle aches are abnormal. So i end up researching, their just so prominent and in my joints as well. Thats all. How do you ignore symptoms, did you ever experience it, what advice would you give.

[RubyWitch]

This site is here to offer support, advice and encouragement and I think nuresgirl and I have gone above and beyond in our attempts to help you help yourself.
But each time it seems we've gotten you calmed down and on track for what you need to do, you get back on the damn symptom sites and here we are again. Today it's herpes, palpitations, muscle aches and both your muscles AND now your mouth are tingling! And you ask yourself if maybe  it's just anxiety........(?)  (!)

Yes, by all means, STOP pondering all the symptoms and START pondering where you can find the SERIOUS psychological help you need!

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but we can only push a boulder uphill just so long.
I wish you the best and the peace you're seeking
Greenlydia

[worriedman407]

I'm seeing the doc tomorrow but im also thinking it could be anxiety because this whole month I have been very anxious. Palpitations everyday my body may have been in a shock and hence muscle aches and tingles. Never had it before. So unsure if it's that or Herpes. Anyway I will stop pondering. Symptoms just annoy me lol. I have lots of work to get done too

[worriedman407]

Haha true... but you know after last night. I started to attribute it to Herpes. Its the only thing that explains my tingling mouth, fingers, joints and muscle aches..... So did some research on Herpes and am slightly worried about having it. But ah well. Could be worse.

[RubyWitch]

Spend your time waiting for your POSITIVE results doing something POSITIVE for yourself...............search for a good therapist to help you deal with your health anxiety.

And contact one of the many national gay/lesbian associations and get yourself educated about HIV.


As for your last post.........you've simply got to STOP! Somehow, some way, you've GOT to get the hell out of your head and do something besides sit around and fret. Go volunteer somewhere. Get a second job. Spend as much time with friends as possible doing enjoyable stuff, not whining to them about your worries. Take a trip. Get a puppy. Join a gym.Just get off your butt..................