So confused!

[WorriedOne84]

I don't even know what I think or feel anymore or if that's a good thing or bad thing.  I went from having extreme anxiety over my health to now still worrying about it but not caring what happens to me.  Don't know if that makes any sense or not.  Before, I was sure I had some serious undiagnosed illness and that I was dying.  Now, even though I think something is wrong, I don't care anymore.  Not that I want anything to happen to me, or would do anything to harm myself, I just feel indifferent.  Like whatever is going to happen is going to happen anyway.  

In reality, I don't care about much of anything  and for months now have lost interest in doing most of the things I used to enjoy.  I took Zoloft for about 7 weeks and have now been on Lexapro for just over a week.  Over the past couple month I've had 5 sessions with a professional counselor.  Could these feeling  be due to the medication or is it just that I'm also kind of depressed?  

Most of my anxiety has to do with social situations.  For the past month I'm finding it increasingly difficult to go out in public by myself, aside from going to work which I'm fine doing.  I feel nervous and I think everyone can tell I am and that everyone is staring at me.  Last week I went to a psychiatrist for the first time and he started me on the Lexapro.  Next week, I have a follow-up appointment to discuss how I'm doing on the medication.  

What do you all think?  Any comments would be greatly appreciated, thanks!

[mammo]

You vent all you want, this is why we're here along with the fact that we've been or are where you are right now.  We're here to help you thru this, even if it's only you venting, everything helps.  It's all about baby steps, think today and one small step.  We all have made mistakes, the only thing that matters is that we learn something from them, and that we leave them where they are...in the past.  It's over and done with, and you can't change it.  But you can change how you live your life from this day forward.  We're all facing financially tough times right now with so many struggling from day to day, so know you're not alone there.  But I expect things to get better in that area, for now just worry about YOU and getting YOU better.  For now just give your medication time to work, you will find it so much easier to do things.  I once suffered with Agoraphobia and medication gave me my life back, seriously.  As soon as you start to feel better you will be venturing out and enjoying all the things you normally would, like spending time with friends.  The future will take care of itself, and all the worrying in the world won't change it.  You have made it this far, and now that you know what is wrong you can get better and turn all this around.  Hang in there, you're a fighter, and you will be able to have a good life, one thing at a time, always. Stay with us thru this, I'm sure others have some good advice for you.  Were always here, stay strong.

[WorriedOne84]

Thanks for your response.  Right now I just feel as though things are never going to get better for me.  I'm never going to be able to support myself financially with the current job I have.  Going back to college doesn't seem like an option.  I can't date at all, EVER, so I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up alone.  My counselor told me to try to quit obsessing over the future and live in the present moment.  That seems impossible as all I keep think about are my past mistakes and how scary my future is.  I can't go get my car serviced because I don't want to have to call and make an appointment or have to deal with going there.  It's so ridiculous.  I'm sure you are right, that everyone is nervous.  What I do, for the most part, is avoid situations that I think may be uncomfortable for me.  Most people can push through their anxious feels, I, however, can't seem to.  Now, that's going out in public by myself.  I also avoid going out with most of my friends.  I lead a very boring life.  Sorry for whining, I just need to vent.

[mammo]

These are symptoms of depression and your medication will help this.  Just be patient since it can take 4-6 weeks for it to reach a therapeutic level. Most people out in public are nervous about something, so knowing this may help you.  Everyone has issues and problems in their lives, so many are walking around with sadness,anxiety, or depression.  Nobody knows you're nervous, just hold your head up high and smile at people, you may just make their day while making yourself feel better. There are so many stars and performers who get sick to their stomach before a performance, but we can't tell how nervous they are.  It's the same with you. But smiling at people will lighten your heart and theirs, and don't worry if they don't smile back, they may just be in shock that anyone even noticed them at such a bad time in their own life.  You're moving in the right direction and you will get thru this.  Take care.