I posted a long long post the last time about my problem. The short short short version is that I blacked out walking home from the bar about 11 days ago. Freaked out in the morning, thinking I had killed someone. There was no evidence that I had and for the last 11 days I have been checking the local news media and the Police Departments websites for any sign of a crime, that I would or could have done. Not a single piece of evidence that suggests anything even happened in the last 11 days. I have gone over and over and over in my head every single possible scenario and nothing adds up. In reality, I am 99.9% sure I walked home from the bar and just don't remember the majority of the 15 minute walk. But still, I am in fear of something did happen. I am paranoid that the police will be breaking down my door any minute. I am getting paranoid about being followed. This really *****, cause that's all I think about. I literally am going crazy. I was going to contact the police, but after posting that idea on free legal advice forum, they said that would be a bad idea. Not because I am guilty of something, but it just wouldn't be a good idea.
After I posted this, a few people told me to calm down and get some help...which I did. I had my first session with the head doc and we discussed for about an hour what may have triggered this stuff that is building in my head. I really liked him and he kind of reminded me of my favorite director James Cameron. Anyways, At the end of the discussion, I was excepting that he would at least give me something to calm me down for the time being. I would rather take some sort of meds than start drinking to calm me down. That's what got me in this situation in the first place. Well, he didn't give me any meds which I was disappointed. But I really did think I needed something. I then asked (since he wasn't going to give any meds) what I should do if I start to feel anxious and depressed. He didn't give me any tips to do anything. He said we would discuss it on my next visit if I choose to come back and really do some therapy.
I didn't feel ripped off, cause I did get a little insight into what might be happening, but I was expecting a little more than what I got. It kind of felt like watching a good movie trailer...you wanna see more...go buy the ticket when the movie comes out.
Anyways, I'm not sure what to do. I will be seeing him in two weeks, but I don't know if I can wait that long. I might drink some NyQuil tonight to calm down or something. I don't know. What do you guys think I should do? Do you have any other forms of calming down to do?
Need help. Thanks for reading.