I'm an absolute mess, advice?

[LivingwithOCD07]

My spouse even told me that the other night. Not only do I have OCD, I have Bi-polar disorder, depression I think, and possibly narcissim (Spelled wrong, I know). I didn't just realize until tonight that I have the traits of a narcissist. Good Lord, why am I so screwed up. It's like, I'm not a psycho, but it doesn't matter, a normal person would think of me that way because of all the stupid disorders I got going on up there in my strange brain. Thinking back, I don't know if I've ever TRULY been happy. I have always had some sort of fear, guilt, shame, sadness, jelousy going on at all times, whether it be obvious or minute. I feel so bad for my spouse and my child. I'm like a burden to anyone. And it's hard to say that because I'm a Christian, and I want so badly to be a strong person, but my brain is sending me different messages and it's hard to find TRUE reality. Sometimes I just want to be locked up in a mental room and just cry because that may be where I belong? That may be the only place I can fit in. But I would miss my family an awful lot....

[ILADVOCATE]

Its important to understand that these labels can be used by many people (or society) to put people down. However when they are understood just like any other disability or condition as needing treatment (just like diabetes requires insulin) then the recovery process can be easier without any feelings of having done anything wrong. You are describing many issues but only a psychiatrist can provide a specific diagnosis. Best to understand what is going by informing yourself (there are some links to websites with information on mood disorders in general on the welcome page) and also keep a mood tracker so you can see what's going on and then print out the results for a psychiatrist so they can better understand how to treat you. And many of those extreme emotional feelings you are describing can occur during mood swings ( extreme feelings of guilt for example can often be part of episodes of depression). Its best to let any form of diagnosis and how it might affect you be discussed with a psychiatrist. As for family members and how to help them understand what is going on and be more supportive NAMI friend and family support groups can be quite helpful in this regard.

[adel_ezz]

i agree totally with IL, may your partner for some reason wants to put you down. sure you are different from him, from me, everybody has his own personal;ity and traits. but psych illness is not judged by individuals, only a doctor can investigate this with you. so don't get disturbed. if you feel you really need help then address yourself to a pdoc. but don't let someone convince you that you are nuts or weird.

[shay69]

Christians used to also think mood disorders where people being possessed. So it is proven to be a chemical imbalance that are treatable. It may take time to find something to help but its worth it. People with mood disorders loose 10 years (I think) of there lives to being unhappy. It is best to go see a doctor and tell them everything. They will not lock you up. Iv had those feelings too. Dont waste any more time being miserable Its not worth it for yourself or your family. You will find a lot of stigma attached and meet people who say there's nothing wrong. Your partner at least sees maybe theirs something wrong but there is help for her and how she deals with it also. You can go to group counseling. Take ill's advice hes very bright. Write down your moods tell the doctor everything. and make an appiontment asap. Alot of people deal with this everyday so dont think your alone by no means! Take care. I hope you may find confront

[Xila31]

Hey, you're in with a good bunch of people, that's for sure! You're not crazy or messed up. Everyone is crazy and messed up, even those so called "normal" people. We're the lucky ones because at least our illnesses are treatable. :P

I'm serious, though. You're not alone. I have bipolar, generalized anxiety disorder, and schizoid. So I'm a bipolar person who is a loaner. How does that work? I don't know. But, I have a husband and a family and a job. I'm just a lot more interesting than some of my co-workers in respects that maybe I'll start hearing things that aren't there. ;)

Don't let someone tell you  you're crazy or bad. You're not. You have a few illnesses but so do a lot of people. Would call a person with cancer a crazy person? No. I can tell you're down right now, so do talk to your doctor and remember you're not alone. You can get through this. They don't lock people up like they did in the old days. You can go to the hospital if you need it, but it will be a short term stay.