Ttm??

[xkittenwhiskersx]

Friendships is very hard to maintain for me im always in my daydreams and i tend to lie for no apparent reason and obsess over everyone and cling onto people really heavily i would get this overwhelming confidence i can be and do whatever i want and how perfect i was.. always viewed things as perfect and would always be blinded in friendships but others sees so clearly its so terrible because when someones so important or im obsessing i think about them every second i distract myself and then i think about them and try and see them and everything when i can and it can be overwhelming to a person i always would talk **** about others with people thinking they think the same im never in reality and i like to be consumed in others energy and emotions it may sound weird but there was a time i was manic for like a whole year or months at a time and i love attention and would talk alot and stuff well i always feel like im annoying i have moments i get angry too and i get very sad and i always think my mania is me and think of myself as some hippie girl but its a persona would get home after talking to everyone and sleep and get angry and be upset at everything im always thinking of a way to escape i use to have sleepovers but then i just wanted to isolate and be alone and i turned cold and mean to people but i find myself staying up thinking about moments and friends i use to know i always fantasize of a connection of friendship talking **** loving and things like that i find every friend i try and hop into a relationship not sure if its bipolar?? I like to start things in connections i always believe its love and its perfect and its from my trauma i feel like this year is a trainwreck i dont remember **** i relapsed many of times i dont know who i am and i fear nobody knows someone told me i took alot of space tho??..