Bipolar, but not aggressive.

[freddie8605]

People on here often talk about being bipolar and being aggressive, angry or violent. But I can’t say I really have that problem. I mean I have been angry in situations (normally because I just cant cope) but I'll never say mean or rude things to people or psychically attack them, unless in times of self defense. Infect my biggest thing is when things get hard I run, I have run away a few times just so I can be on my own and calm down. And its funny my boyfriends family are worried that I will hurt him because they think of mentally ill people as being violent uncontrollable people, but its just a stereotype in my view. I never did drugs and I don’t drink alcohol and I found out the other day that 9 out of 10 people with mental health problems have tried drugs, so that might add to the aggressive behavior. When I was first told about having mental health problems I didn’t believe them and got offended that was probably became the most aggressive, because I was admitted to the psychiatric hospital and I wanted to run away but the nurses held me down and stopped me, but again in my view it was self defense. Oh and when they say I’m hallucinating apparently I can get angry and aggressive then to but just mildly, I’ve never hurt anyone, I just like to be on my own. I would hate myself if I ever hurt anything.

[RawHealth]

I don't know if I'm "violent", per se, but I have definitely demonstrated aggressiveness, yelled at people, called them horrible things, punched walls... those sorts of things. I don't realize at all when I get mad how intense and aggressive I look. I've scared three people that I know of in the last two or three years, even though I would *never* hurt anyone. It's just the anger, the hurt, etc., coming out in a blistering intensity, and I don't have the self awareness to modulate it, I guess. :\

[lindacampbell]

I have bi polar as well.  I don't get violent, never really have.  Especially since I've been on meds.  Way before I was diagnosed, I would get really angry with my now hubby.  We would have some serious arguments.  I don't drink or do illegal drugs, which a good thing.  

What I really hate is being stereotyped as being violent because of my mental illness!  There is still sooo much stigma around any and all mental illnesses.  People think that since we have a mental illness and that some have gotten violent, we're all like that.  

[Athena_M]

Oops  I didn't spell your full name.  

[Athena_M]

Maybe the head injury could be the cause of the problems you mention your son having.  Google Head Injury and Violence and you will see some articles that say head injuries can cause many problems like emotional problems and behavioral problems.  

It sounds like it is best for you all to keep your distance if he is violent toward you all.  

I hope you can be understanding, sympathetic and apologize for any thing he sees was done wrong during his childhood.  

There is research that says parents only remember the good things they did while parenting.  

I know my mom does not remember the bad things that happened to my sister or me during our childhood.  
I love her so much but she says she blocked so many things out.  

[yarrow]

Thank you, Athena.  It is kind of you to offer your suggestions.  I wish we were able to help our son, but for several years, he has believed that we are literally monsters who abused him when he was young and continue to do so in the present--even though in the last decade, we have seen him only rarely under the best of circumstances; he is married and almost 40; and we're getting on in years.  I'm not quite sure how we are managing to abuse him under these circumstances, but he is furious, actually enraged, about it.  We are totally estranged from him at present, and since he is very strong, it is probably safer for us, all things considered.

He did have a minor concussion about fifteen years ago, but he was not violent after that.

In his twenties he had problems with alcohol for a while, though it looked to me like an effort to self-medicate.  Since we have had so little interaction with him, I really don't know what his current recreational drug situation is, but at the time he attacked his father, he was refusing all medication except an occasional lorazepam.

[Athena_M]

So sorry to hear about your son.  Maybe he has developed some food intolerances or food allergies? Look into Feingold diet it can help with disruptive behavior.
Has he ever had any kind of head injury?  I heard any kind of head injury can cause violent behavior.  An MRI would show if there was any damage.  Was he using drugs?  Maybe his prescription medicine caused the violence?
Hugs to you
Athena

[yarrow]

Our adult son was diagnosed with bipolar II about a dozen years ago.  His manic phases (he has chosen to go largely untreated) have always been dysphoric, in that he was hyper-irritable instead of 'up.'  It wasn't pleasant, and it was a tremendous change from the sweet if hypomanic kid he had been for the first 20 years of his life, but there was no violence in his behavior.

However, two years ago, when he was 36, he suddenly began showing sudden episodes of uncontrollable rage, totally different from mere irritability, and then this last year, he became violent when enraged, physically attacking his father twice, once in the therapist's office (!) and once at a coffee shop.  For us, his parents, it is like seeing another person, somebody we have never known before.  We had to call the police.

He is an adult, and due to HIPAA regs, we cannot, of course, get any information or help from his doctors, but one friend in the medical community who has treated him for other things has suggested to us, based on his observations, that our son may now be showing some schizoaffective manifestations.

Without further information, all I can say is that our son has long had a firm diagnosis of bipolar II and has, over time, become violent and dangerous to us.

[Athena_M]

I'm the same too.  I do not get agressive, nor do I drink or use drugs.  It is a stereotype of bipolar.  

[freddie8605]

Hi, I'm glad I'm not the only who hasn't drunk or done drugs, I don’t' like the taste either. I to have generalized anxiety and panic disorder, so I guess that doesn’t help.

I'm glad you all aren't aggressive.... I have to say that others say i get snappy or Irritable, especially in mixed state too, but I don’t realized it till someone says it, or it gets really bad, but its not intentionally and I don’t normally notice it, till someone says. That’s why everyone says don’t stop taking your lithium lol.

[Xila31]

I'm bipolar and I'm not aggressive. Now I do get into screaming moods but not hurting moods towards other people. I do get into moods where I hurt myself but I don't hurt other people. In my times of illness I see myself as the target of being hurt, not other people. I don't like to see other people hurt. :(

I do not drink at all. I've never been drunk in my life. Not for any reason other than I have tasted alcohol and I don't like it. I don't do drugs, either.

I also get the urge to run away when things are bad. I don't like confrontations or fighting. I have generalized anxiety disorder as well as bipolar so I get scared and freeze up or want to run away.

Just like any thing else, you can't judge a person by their illness.

[run4you]

I'm bipolar, and I'm definitely not aggressive. While in my mixed state (and sometimes when I'm just teetering either way) I am less tolerant of things (for instance, my friends list on FB will get cut in half, haha). I'm snippy. But never intentionally hurtful or aggressive... I would say I'm highly defensive over anything that anyone says.

So, no, not every bipolar is aggressive :)  Definitely a stereotype!

[ILADVOCATE]

   Yes well how bipolar expresses itself in each person is different and generally by aggressive people mean they experience extreme anger such as in an agitated mixed state. Outright violence is rare and I would agree is a stereotype. The potential of a person engaging in behavior that might be destructive to themselves or others would occur more when a person is psychotic but even there it is rare as regards outright violence to others but when a person has a loss of judgment they don't do well in general. What one sees as regards people who don't have access to proper treatment are people that are homeless who may have been in a psych. hospital long term before that and there was no proper follow up and community support. How people are without treatment depends on the severity of the person's disability but the fact that treatment is needed for most people doesn't mean that they are in this category and does discourage people from seeking help due to stigmatization.