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Bipolar & relationships
So I see my boyfriend having alot of issues, to me they seem like regualr life issues, a pain , but again, regular life issues. I found myself wondering over & over if this is anxiety or just a timid personality...well I just learned its actually bi-polar !
So here I am, almost a year into the best relationship f my life & my b/f has an episode I guess we call it. He leaves work & is unable to cope, his sisyer insists he go to the hospital. Im worried...I didnt hear from him till the next day. An email ststing he went to the hospital & that he would take the rest of the week off. I was still thinking it was an anxiety attck, hes been under alot of stress lately...overloaded at work, ex on his back, me insisting he make a stand then pow !! I immediately asked him if I could come whisk hi away to my place for a few days, I love to take care of him, I love him...He doesnt define his issues yet with a name, I said whats going on ...are you depressed, aniety ,,whats going on ?? He said both...and that hes been on meds for a numbers of years...three..antidepressant, mood , and also aniety pills of some sort. I still really didnt know what this meant. He seemed a lyttle far away, but only as an overworked man in need of a break. A couple days later, I hear the word bi-polar..wow..I really didnt have alot of info on this...moods etc..So I was upset a little for the deception, but I do understand his WHY..I am a believer in natural as best as can be, but I do support him, if his brain needs meds, I am still here. I know he feels more at ease now, this secret for almost a year musta added alot of stress to his life as well.
I just dont know what to expect...He is a super amazing guy , I will love him forever I do know this...I just need an inside peek of whats to come. I have asked him a few questions, but Im really not sure what else to ask. No hes not a major mod swinger...he feels depression more then mania, but its in realtion to how his life is going...when he is with me, we are happy, he said he doesnt feel these same issues , He went off his meds for a week, this is why I guess he came crashing down last week...but hes fine now. He had sucidal thoughts in the past, but hey so have I & I have no disorder...he doesnt really have manias. He had a lot of fears & seemed to find his problems far too difficult to even consider coping with, but he seems fine now..he tells me he feels overwhelmed some days...but dont we all??
Please tell me that those with bi-polar are capable of having long lasting realtionships..cause I know Im not going anywhere...I need to hear that others manage ..
So here I am, almost a year into the best relationship f my life & my b/f has an episode I guess we call it. He leaves work & is unable to cope, his sisyer insists he go to the hospital. Im worried...I didnt hear from him till the next day. An email ststing he went to the hospital & that he would take the rest of the week off. I was still thinking it was an anxiety attck, hes been under alot of stress lately...overloaded at work, ex on his back, me insisting he make a stand then pow !! I immediately asked him if I could come whisk hi away to my place for a few days, I love to take care of him, I love him...He doesnt define his issues yet with a name, I said whats going on ...are you depressed, aniety ,,whats going on ?? He said both...and that hes been on meds for a numbers of years...three..antidepressant, mood , and also aniety pills of some sort. I still really didnt know what this meant. He seemed a lyttle far away, but only as an overworked man in need of a break. A couple days later, I hear the word bi-polar..wow..I really didnt have alot of info on this...moods etc..So I was upset a little for the deception, but I do understand his WHY..I am a believer in natural as best as can be, but I do support him, if his brain needs meds, I am still here. I know he feels more at ease now, this secret for almost a year musta added alot of stress to his life as well.
I just dont know what to expect...He is a super amazing guy , I will love him forever I do know this...I just need an inside peek of whats to come. I have asked him a few questions, but Im really not sure what else to ask. No hes not a major mod swinger...he feels depression more then mania, but its in realtion to how his life is going...when he is with me, we are happy, he said he doesnt feel these same issues , He went off his meds for a week, this is why I guess he came crashing down last week...but hes fine now. He had sucidal thoughts in the past, but hey so have I & I have no disorder...he doesnt really have manias. He had a lot of fears & seemed to find his problems far too difficult to even consider coping with, but he seems fine now..he tells me he feels overwhelmed some days...but dont we all??
Please tell me that those with bi-polar are capable of having long lasting realtionships..cause I know Im not going anywhere...I need to hear that others manage ..
No. I did not say I was suicidal.. Still. I did say that I have experianced those feelings. 11 years of seeing a shrink about every 3 months - yea, we DID try many, many differant types and combinations of meds. After 7 years as you say; you mean you are STILL on the same meds? Huh. The body tends to become used to certain levels and types of meds to where they have to be altered in dose or changed. What is the problem with people excepting someone's coments about FEELING BETTER OFF OF THE DRUG?? Sorry, I did not and will not be druged to make anyone else feel better about themselves. I DO FEEL BETTER & THINK CLEARER. Some folks like to wear a label and it is a social thing now a days to be Bi-Polar. Go for it. Just don't try to attack me because I have the guts to do something about this DAZED feeling I have had for 11 years. Hey, I like what I am going thru. It doesn't suck to be me anymore. Sometimes the truth hurts... doesn't it!! The drugs the medical profession is handing out like candy have major side effects. If you want to compromise your health - go for it. It is a free Country the last time I checked. Oh, I am intitled to an opinion and so are you. But what is the deal. Must I drug myself to make you happy? Must you press your opinion on everyone else and tell me that I am wrong because I feel better without drugs? Why does it bother you so much? And what gives you the idea that you know what I AM FEELING RIGHT NOW? Sounds like a control issue to me... Peace.
If you are still feeling suicidal with meds then they are not the right meds. I have been stable for 7 years on zyprexa and celexa. and therapy. If it werent for these meds I would be in the stqaate mental institution where by the way I almost ended up during episode 2.
I feel it is just as wrong to tell people that meds arent right. I too was placed on many different meds before I got on my combo so I know about the frustration of trial and error. but I would rather take my meds than be in a jail cell or a rubber room at the mental hospital.
while I agree to a poaint about there being too many children placed on add meds when they are simply high spirited active children.
bi polar is a different case and most of us need our meds to lead a stable life.
also the therapy is needed. It gives uys the tools to understand what is happening and to deal with our phases of bi polar. Meds and therapy have to be together to beat it.
I am not a doc ,just a bi polar sharing experience that works.
Love Venora
I feel it is just as wrong to tell people that meds arent right. I too was placed on many different meds before I got on my combo so I know about the frustration of trial and error. but I would rather take my meds than be in a jail cell or a rubber room at the mental hospital.
while I agree to a poaint about there being too many children placed on add meds when they are simply high spirited active children.
bi polar is a different case and most of us need our meds to lead a stable life.
also the therapy is needed. It gives uys the tools to understand what is happening and to deal with our phases of bi polar. Meds and therapy have to be together to beat it.
I am not a doc ,just a bi polar sharing experience that works.
Love Venora
Thats alot of insight form both your sides & I want to let you know I would never ever do or say anything to another without it being an avenue they wantd to try. As far as Im concerned, my b/f was never really diagnosed, he did say he had depression like dazed had said, Ive also have had "depression" to a degree of prolnged saddnes & sucudal thoughts..I thought that was normal..I know Bipolar is different and Im not for a second suggested NO ONE needs meds..I sometimes believe the term Clinically depressed refers to those who are medicated..clinic = medicicnes?? ...but lets ask who is medicating & determoning who has these illnesses..its the ppl we turn to for help. Instead of finding an alternate means or allowing ourseleves an option to do our best to get over a " diesase" with the natural means God has provided us on this earth, Doctors turn to the largest business in the world for support...Pharmecudicals...what do you think there main purpose is for..bottom line is MONEY MAKING..ITS A BUSINESS. I also have to be of fair intelligance to realize that there is a greet need for this in this world, but what happened to preventive means of taking ones heath into our own hands.
Why not try less harmful means to control these issues, why create more dieseas with medications..we all know they destroy our vital organs & as written so well above, create more needs for more meds...why do you think this happens..Its because money needs to be made !! More illness' are created from cures every single day.
The teachers in my sons school said he was too hyper in JK...well 4 yr old isnt?? He wasnt hurting anyone, and he was ( is ) an amazing happy boy. For 4 years then after, as soon as the first impateint techer said ADHD...I had to fight the school about medicating my son( which I refused to do) Oh and the funny thing was in gr 3 ( same teacher from JK, lucky kid) had again suggested he was now withdrawn & asked how much medication he was on...assuming that he WAS on meds. When I told her I never put him on meds, she then suggested he still need some cause now he must be at the other realm of ADD in his own world. I think this is NUTS!
Since then, he has been evaluated by a Physcologist , sppech pathologist etc & turns out he has a learning disability...
How many kids that are out on Ritilan & these cocktail drugs meant for adults ever have a chance of living a " normal " life...and who is anyone to tell us WE NEED DRUGS.
I personally think it more brainwashing then anything.
Why not try less harmful means to control these issues, why create more dieseas with medications..we all know they destroy our vital organs & as written so well above, create more needs for more meds...why do you think this happens..Its because money needs to be made !! More illness' are created from cures every single day.
The teachers in my sons school said he was too hyper in JK...well 4 yr old isnt?? He wasnt hurting anyone, and he was ( is ) an amazing happy boy. For 4 years then after, as soon as the first impateint techer said ADHD...I had to fight the school about medicating my son( which I refused to do) Oh and the funny thing was in gr 3 ( same teacher from JK, lucky kid) had again suggested he was now withdrawn & asked how much medication he was on...assuming that he WAS on meds. When I told her I never put him on meds, she then suggested he still need some cause now he must be at the other realm of ADD in his own world. I think this is NUTS!
Since then, he has been evaluated by a Physcologist , sppech pathologist etc & turns out he has a learning disability...
How many kids that are out on Ritilan & these cocktail drugs meant for adults ever have a chance of living a " normal " life...and who is anyone to tell us WE NEED DRUGS.
I personally think it more brainwashing then anything.
I hate to disagree. Even on medications the thoughts of suicide go through your head. I won't deny it. Let's not bs about the illness. I have seen such dispair (ON DRUGS), that all I could focus on was not wanting to exist. I have gone over so many ways to "do it" that I could write a book. And you know what - I'm pretty sure it would sell too. I am not being cruel; I am being honest. If you would please check the net. Omega 3's are proving to be very useful for assisting with bi-polar disorder. No, I am not talking about taking outragious amounts either. As a matter of a fact I did start taking Omega 3's along with my multi-vite. I started at 340mg Omega 3's and just recently went up to 680mg daily. I also take 400 I.U. vite E to help with the absorption. Listen; when was the last time you heard of suicide by fish oil???? We are suppossed to eat fish 3 to 4 times a week. Do you? I don't. If I am going to OD I think I would rather do it on fish oil rather than a drug that will put you into a coma if you don't get "it" right. What is the harm in trying. And why does everyone want to get drugged up. I have been there. Rage. Yea, even on my drugs; and I have been on many differant types and combinations in my ELEVEN YEARS of being labeled. I have still had manic episodes. I have still jumped out of my car and pulled out a baseball bat (which I do not carry around anymore); at a red light because I was being tail gated by some ignorant person who was "having a bad day". That's because I was on the good mind altering drugs. Maybe all this road rage is medically induced. You didn't hear about it 25 - 30 years ago; not much anyway. Look at the stats about how many americans are labeled with mental illness - now they are going after our children and labeling them. Guess the adult market is saturated enough. Let's drug our kids now. I mean, who wants to deal with an opinionated kid right??!!!! Sure, the fact that one person is telling another to "stay druged" because you might hurt someone or themselves gets me a little rilled up. What if the guy doesn't really need all this stuff? Is it good to say: "Don't try anything else - you need these drugs to process life". Do you realize that they come out with a new drug to "try" out for Bi-Polar almost every 6 months. It's a market that is being saturated with these great pharms and the public is going for it hook line and sinker without asking any questions. I know. I WAS one of them. How much time do you really spend with your shrink? What an hour each visit? I sincerely doubt it. Maybe in the first several sessions; after that they are quicky visits. How are you doing? Anything new going on it your life? Any side effects? If you do report a problem the answer is: "Let's increase this a bit". OR "Let's try this new drug that just came out". OR "There is this new drug coming out in about 3 months; we can try it when it hits the market". Yea, I have heard just about evey line they can throw at you. I just decided I was going to stop catching those lines. I DID NOT get hostile to the point of wanting to do some major damage to someone UNTIL I BECAME MEDICATED. It all started with a cute little new drug in 1997 - PROZAC. And here I am years later wondering how I allowed it to get this far. Yea, I was depressed when I first sought help. I don't like what has happened to me. I am very, very sure that a whole lot of people reading this can RELATE to the problem. It is just wrong to keep telling peope to "KEEP TAKING THE DRUGS". I don't know what is happening to Ktz40's b/f and I am NOT telling him to get off the drugs either. I am simply giving them insight to my experience. But, you can not and should not tell someone not to check out other avenues. What if you are wrong? No one, including a doctor knows exactly what you are feeling inside your body or your brain. No one but the individual. Yea, sure, someone on the site told me I might end up in a "MENTAL HOSPITAL" if I went off of my meds. I never heard back when I replied that "I" had "PUT MYSELF IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL TWICE SO I COULD GET MY MEDS RIGHT". I am still or should I say WAS in the same boat till I got off of this merry go round. If you have tried all these drugs and you still feel like **** shouldn't you try something else?? peace.
You need to be very careful in wanting him off the meds. There are NO KNOWN supplements to help bp that much. There are things you can take to aid the meds, but nothing that is as effective.
You have only known him on meds and for the small time he wasn't look what happened. Sounds like he needed to have his meds changed so that he could "feel" more, but not go off of them.
Natural remedies are good for a lot of things, but I do not believe they should be pushed on someone who is not really into them or who's problems could escalate to a very dangerous point such as suicide or hurting someone else.
Just want you both to be very careful in experimenting with this disease.
You have only known him on meds and for the small time he wasn't look what happened. Sounds like he needed to have his meds changed so that he could "feel" more, but not go off of them.
Natural remedies are good for a lot of things, but I do not believe they should be pushed on someone who is not really into them or who's problems could escalate to a very dangerous point such as suicide or hurting someone else.
Just want you both to be very careful in experimenting with this disease.
Do you supplement with any naturals ?? Omegas ETC??
I want to suck your brain dry & learn all there is for you to tell...lol. Im so glad you feel so
good :) You make me feel there is a promise of a non med future for my love . THX
I want to suck your brain dry & learn all there is for you to tell...lol. Im so glad you feel so
good :) You make me feel there is a promise of a non med future for my love . THX
I wish you both the best too! Please, do the research. I am just speaking from my own experiance. Labeled Bi-Polar since 1997. I have been "put" on a whole lot of differant drugs and drug combinations. I am not talking about 2 or three types at the same time either. Yes, there are so many illnesses that do require pharm drugs. I'm just saying - look at the side effects carefully; ask yourself: "Are the risks worth the effects?". Has the doctor "really" weighted the pros to the cons? Who will be the one suffering the effects? The doc or the patient? I speak only from what I have experianced in these 11 years. Sure, you get off of any repetitive drug or habit and there will be some sort of withdrawl. That is natural. I went through some massive headaches for 4 to 5 days of my having gotten off the meds I was on. But, I feel really good right now. Yes, I am waiting for "that day" to come where I feel crappy. As of Easter; I just feel better and better everyday. I am actually experiancing laughter again. I had not realized how long it had been - it "had" been a really long time. I will be very happy to discuss any and all of the ups and downs that I have experianced with you or anyone else who wishes to "get into my head". I will be totally honest. Rage. Deppression. Self hate. Hostility...... The list goes on. I have been a member of this web site for some time now. I never wanted to get involved; and I am sure there are alot of others that do the same thing. I just want to let others out there know that what you are going through has happened to others. I am sure more people than what we are aware of. Funny, I have NEVER met anyone in my entire life that does not get moody at times or upset. Life will never be peaches and cream every day.... I don't care what kind of pill you pop. If anyone believes that....... ???
Take care - Peace.
Take care - Peace.
Wow thats a mouthful...and I liked what you said about so many things. I am a very big believer in natural forms of medicine as a preventative means of maintaining my health, I go see a naturopath monthly and Im a believer that if theres a pharmacudical for it, then theres a natural supplement for it too, as so many RX are based from a natural base. This is one of the reasons my bf was hiding this from me for this past year, he knows how I feel about meds...but on that note I also do believe that there are certain situations & medical conditins that need meds to support the normal function of what so ever it may be. My b/f has said that of the drugs he takes his least favorite is the mood alterating drug..he said it takes away so much of his true feelings, he feels he is on a level of coasting & not feeling. He was off his meds for a week & he said it felt good as he was actually able to get mad when he felt he should. So many ppl seem to walk over him as he is so non responsive, now I know why..he is natually a very calm sweet man( i so believe) I told him maybe he could speak to his doctor about lowering his dose of the mood alternator so he can feel more able to respond instead of doing or saying nothing.
I will research this & I do not give up easily. I have been self studing natural medicine for a few years now & believe many ppl are over medicated these days.
I told him I will support him, but I will also research all the natural sources available to those that suffer from bi-polar.
This is all very new, so I dont want to become tooooo overly nvolved too fast, but youre right..I also dont want to see his liver rot or see him die from medications either..
Thanks for your message. & I wish you the best of luck !
I will research this & I do not give up easily. I have been self studing natural medicine for a few years now & believe many ppl are over medicated these days.
I told him I will support him, but I will also research all the natural sources available to those that suffer from bi-polar.
This is all very new, so I dont want to become tooooo overly nvolved too fast, but youre right..I also dont want to see his liver rot or see him die from medications either..
Thanks for your message. & I wish you the best of luck !
I was turned on to some excellent info from a fellow medhelp member. Great to hear you are hanging in there. Keep it up!! Everyone in life will have some really terrible days, weeks.... Check out Dr. Loren Mosher, Dr. Peter Breggin and a book (on the web) by P. Lehmann - title: "Coming Off Psychiatric Drugs". I speak from my own experiances with meds since 1997. I have posted several comments; no need to go over all that stuff. I stand by what I have posted. Be very weary of everyone trying to "over medicate" the love of your life. The drugs are dangerous and even taking these great cocktails (as called by the medical profession), can in fact kill you. I was just watching t.v. last night and another famous person died due to the combination of drugs he was given by the medical profession. No, he DID NOT overdose as first suspected. Do alot of research for him; better yet do it together. As of Easter 2008 I have NOT taken all those wonderful drugs for bi-polar disorder. In fact; even on my meds I tended to have manic episodes every "frikin" month. Guess what. I feel so much better. I think a whole lot clearer and I am still waiting for my manic episode to hit. So far so good. I have not felt like opening that can-o-whoop a** either. I have tried alot of differanct combinations of drugs. Saw my shrink EVERY three months. No, I have not seen just the one shrink either. I intend to go back - I haven't yet since I discontinued the drugs. I am just gathering a whole lot of information and I intend to go in there with a big a** smile on my face and ask why I feel soooo damn good lately. Oh yea, I have actually surprised myself and my family by laughing at things that didn't seem funny at all "for a lot of years". I can laugh now. It feels really good. People have good intentions - that's what I have been telling myself. These are MIND ALTERING drugs. What are the long term effects? Research shows that even the doctors don't know the answer to that question. Often times we are given a certain drug to deal with a certain mood and end up with another drug to take care of "the other" moods that suddenly appear. Soon we are on several drugs for the one thing we originally went in for help for. Ok. I will get off of the soap box. Listen, hang in there and do a whole lot of homework before you and your mate opt for shoving all those "great drugs" that are "supposed" to make the whole world fulll of good thoughts. Check out the above mentioned doctors. Can't hurt can it. Peace.
Thank you..Im so glad to see that this is not as hopless as some think.
I will pray for the strength I may need if needed and I truly only see all good coming my way with this man.
Curious on the therapy , he tells me he just speaks to his MD sometimes, I dont think he has other support for this. Why is this necessary ??
I will pray for the strength I may need if needed and I truly only see all good coming my way with this man.
Curious on the therapy , he tells me he just speaks to his MD sometimes, I dont think he has other support for this. Why is this necessary ??
HI I am bi polar for all my life I am 50 now. I have been stable for 7 years and I have been married for 22 years. It is very possible to have a long and loving relationship.Meds and therapy will beat bi polar. Hang in there and support your boyfriend but make it clear he has to get therapy and stay on his meds.
Love Venora
Love Venora
Thanks so much, this is amazing feedback..I truely appreciate it. This person I love is an amazing man & I am the lucky one..I am blessed everyday I have him . We are all broken in some way or another.He supports me thru my PMS..which to me is a bigger issue then his disorder..lol..I will not fail him here..
I will get that book though. I am determined to find out as much as I can & I will support him and be there for him for his ups & downs, cause I know that when he came into my life, my life became worthwhile in so many other ways.
Thanks you for the additional hope :). I will use this forum for my support & I thank you for yours !
I will get that book though. I am determined to find out as much as I can & I will support him and be there for him for his ups & downs, cause I know that when he came into my life, my life became worthwhile in so many other ways.
Thanks you for the additional hope :). I will use this forum for my support & I thank you for yours !
You really are a great woman. So many people hear the word disorder and run for the hills. Do as much research as you can on your own. You may even want to check out the book 'An Unquiet Mind' by Kay Jamison. It's an amazing book and you will learn a lot. Most importantly learn from him how he has learned to cope..and follow his lead. Just remember that he's still him no matter what disorder he is labeled as having and that he's still the great guy you love. If the two of you are happy and learn how to handle this issue together things will work out wonderfully!! Good luck!
You are amazing to be so supportive. If I had someone like you (but a guy of couse) in my life I'm sure I would feel so much better than I do.
God Bless you, hang in there, he does need you and he'll be able to give back 10 fold when he's better!
Erin
God Bless you, hang in there, he does need you and he'll be able to give back 10 fold when he's better!
Erin
Am so glad to hear that you are sticking by him. Make sure that you tell him you will AS long as he promises to stay on his meds. Going off of them, as you've found out, is detrimental to all things in a person's life.
My husband and I have been married for over 10 years now and I've been bp all my life. My life with bp is fine. It's just an after thought in my life now and doesn't control it.
Good luck to the both of you. Life will be really great again.
My husband and I have been married for over 10 years now and I've been bp all my life. My life with bp is fine. It's just an after thought in my life now and doesn't control it.
Good luck to the both of you. Life will be really great again.
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