Religeon and being BP/BPD

[BeeKeeper]

With this being the Christmas season as well as holidays seasons for Muslims and Jews...how do you align your faith with the constant fightinh of your disorder(s)?  In moments of depression or mania - or in just dealing with day to day life - our judgement can become impaired and our inhibitions/reservations over ridden by another internal driving force to act on escape behaviors.

How do you incorporate that into your faith enough to have faith?  With this being the season of faith for many religeons, I'm just curious if I'm the only one struggling again this holiday to feel accepted in the church community.

[zzzmykids]

Dear One,
Grace, is just that. Grace. Undeserved and without merit. I am sorry others treat you with disrespect.  God weeps when His Church, the people that form it, not the  building treat you this way. Our best friend, a Jew of Jews comes on Christmas Eve with us each year and throughout the year at times.  A girlfriend staunch in tradition of Judaism brings her family at  times.   Hey try this if you want.....
hopebaptistchurch.com    and listen to the message of the Gift by our pastor from tonight...will take a day or two but if you go there you will find lots other good topics.
If anyone should not ever be allowed in church, BeeKeeper it should be me from my youth and my husbands.  Here me again, if you have made a conscious acceptance of Christ as your Savior and asked for forgiveness, you are born again and there is NO falling out of Salvation and Grace...understand? xooxxoxxxzzzmykids

[HEADROOM]

After having a couple of episodes where I thought I either had a direct line to God or thought I was special plus other things - I try to keep things simple, just asking for guidance in all I say, do and especially my thinking. I have been going through a very difficult 5 weeks when I had to get my partner to leave after 20 odd years who also has his own problems - this leaves me on my own to cope with my illness and is stressful but I use all the tools available to keep me well and take my meds, have blood tests and go to the doctors. I was discharged from the psychiatrist over 2 years ago. All my friends know that I have bp and all have been instructed to tell me to go to the docs if they think I am a bit high, I try to keep things manageable. I keep in touch with him upstairs, times are a bit sad at the moment but I do feel I am getting the guidance that I pray for. I just have to keep it simple and not let it get out of hand again. I will be glad when Christmas and New Year are over, which is the first time I have ever thought that.

[matkowskia]

This is actually a very good topic. I was wondering something similar. Does any body use their faith as a restraint for their behaviour? Use it to calm anxiety, irrational feelings, sexual appetite etc etc? I know my 'church' gives a lot of great talks that often pop into my head & stop me from hurting myself.

[ILADVOCATE]

Well I am not really a religious person but my family still celebrates the Jewish holidays and yes we understand their meaning. Last week which was Hanukah I was talking over the theme of "survival" with my mother (who is now under treatment for cyclothymia) as there have been many family crises. I do know people who are Christian and we respect each other's belief systems. Many churches near me would allow anyone in as long as they were respectful to other people. They definitely would not make people feel unwanted. I would say that this time of year creates emotional turmoil and crisis regardless so its best for people to be supportive of each other but it doesn't always happen as it should.

[Xila31]

I would say that I see your problem right here "pray but no longer heard." I think that you are heard, but you are not getting the answer you're looking for or expecting, good or bad. I would say, continue to pray and be open, and eventually you will be able to see the answers in your life. You may not see them until you look backward towards them, instead of looking in the present. You may also not notice them until you get through your rough patch.

Oh, and I agree about not feeling welcome in an "organized" religious setting. I'm not just talking about a church, but even a prayer group or such. Sometimes you just need to take your faith elsewhere and keep it in your heart, and maybe someday you'll find a group to celebrate with.

[BeeKeeper]

Thanks Ladies for your thoughts.  Having genuinely grown up in a church, I use to be someone of great faith...but have fallen far from what I consider grace to be...and I continue to fall.  The diagnosis of mental disorders helps me to understand why I act/respond the way I do even though no one around me understands.  I don't want to use these disorders as an excuse for my behaviors and thoughts but I know in some way they do influence how I mentally process things.

In my world I still pray daily even if I'm no longer heard.  I feel unwelcomed and as a stranger if I step into a place of worship.  In a holiday season that is very religeously based, I feel like I'm on the outside now looking in.  In my world - and my disordered mind - the best I feel i can hope for is that when the end comes, there is enough grace to cover most of my mistakes.

[Xila31]

Well, I'm going to speak as someone who is not any of those religions but I still have a holiday at this time of year. I will not state what my religion is publicly, but I will speak about faith.

As a matter of faith, it is my faith that keeps me strong and keeps me going. I know I have been given a second chance, a third chance, and so on. I know I am supposed to be here for some reason, although that reason is hidden from me as it is hidden from all of us. I know that my body does not function the way others do, but I am not alone in this. We are all given a challenge. Some are challenged with physical disabilities, others with mental disabilities, others with things that are not as easy to explain. But I know within me lives a perfect soul that is growing from my hardships here in this life.

I keep my faith because it is there and I believe that I am not alone. That I'm being watched and protected, and even in the darker moments when I cannot see that light, it is still there. When I come out of the dark tunnel, it is the strength of my faith that carried me through. I have survived many things and I am thankful for it.

Faith is a highly personal thing. No one can tell you what or how you believe. At the end of the day it doesn't matter if you are religious, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Hindi, or anything else. What matters is that you know what you believe in your heart and that it is a reflection of you. You carry the light of your spirit even in your darkest hour, and your reflection is the face of Divinity. If you don't know what to believe right now, then just be open to all the possibilities.

I know you're having a rough time right now. Just hang in there and remember you're not alone.

[zzzmykids]

Dear BeeKeeper,
Are you asking as a Christian who has been shunned or hurt?  Are you asking out of curiousity from an onlookers perspective?
It's been forty years since I looked on as one not understanding....and I grew up in the church, but did not realize I was BP2 back then.
Now, yes it is one of the last pariahs of the church. Discerning who knows. Even my family does not understand the complexity of the disorder!
I believe there is one God and one Savior....only one came for mankinds sins and only one is not in His grave, he rose.
I believe God allowed those of us who have diffuculty living here on earth, I am not sure why but all is in His allowance. For me BP2 gives me the opportunity to grow in the knowledge of who Jesus is. Grow in strength and  because when healthy I tend to go ahead of God, I am rendered weak and submitting to His control. When strong again, I can bring Him glory by example to other hurting people and also show His mercy has been given.
He loves me, this I know. He wrote me 66 books to learn from, fill my heart with and my head is able to draw...for awhile upon His Word before I completely surrender to the darkness.  In the darkness, I KNOW He cradles me in His nail scarred hands and weeps for the place I have come.  He holds me until I can allow Him to lift me up and place me on firm foundation and again bring honor, thanks and glory to Who He is, the Real Deal.  Religion reaches up to God with trying to be good and follow rules and ceremonies. Faith in Jesus/Christianity. ...God reached down, sacrificing all heaven to come because from the time of before Eden, God wanted a relationship with us and had that plan of intimacy with us long before the first person was made, the Miracle of a plan of Salvation was already  planned for us. That brings me peace in the midst of the darkness, I once again am entering w/o meds for depression for almost seven months. I am scared but not alone. Merry Christmas, Bee