Depression or bipolar?

[Babeygirltasha]

Hi, im 26 years old and have suffered from "depression" since i was13. Of which i first attempted suicide. Over the last 13 years  my symptoms have changed quite alot ranginging from self-harming, suicide attemps, impulsive anger and rage in relationships, binge eating, impulsive behavior depression that lasts days, highs and lows and what i feel is normal, excessive spending and i have been diagnosed by 3 different professionals with having firstly postnatal depression,then borderline personality disorder (due to childhood), and currently clinical depression by a phyciatrist. I have a new G.P who has listened2me and suspects i may have bipolar due to the extreme highs and lows.
Has anyone had similar experiences or symptoms ?  Also has anyone had this much trouble with being fully diagnosed?
Advice and opinions welcome. ASAP.  x

[sweetgirl1980]

Hi Verona, thanks for your suggestions.  I've had my thyroid levels tested before and there was no problem with them.  I just saw my psychiatrist yesterday and she added Wellbutrin to my regimen and decreased my Risperdal.  I am happy because it turns out I have akathesia from Risperdal.  I'm praying she will wean me off it as soon as my sleep becomes whole again.  I finally got the book I had mentioned to you and am reading it. After discussing with my doctor, it turns out also that my mind isn't racing but that I am having anxious thoughts about what to do the next day.  My mother always tells me that you're 28 and have a long life ahead of you so don't worry so much. I am trying.  I hope that I will eventually be on 2 medications (maybe 1 if I am lucky).  But only time will tell.  I returned to writing in my journal and trying to find positive affirmation quotes/poetry, like the one by Virginia Satir called "I AM ME".   Best regards to you.  I hope everyone out there with Bipolar knows that you aren't alone.  We are there too.

[Venora Moonwind]

I know what you are going through. I was much the same at my worst bi polar times
Now  for me when I have the mini manias and I cant slow down I take a couple of benydryl I ussually have to this around the fullmoon as I tend to get the mania the most around this time I also meditate and play my new age music with incense going  then I take a nice bath and imagine all of the junk in my head flowing out of me and going down the drain. I also write in my journal just everthing that comes into my mind. so I get it out of my that way too. Do read the book your doc suggested and you may find something that works for you to take the edge off and make your mind shutup.( I do tell mine shutup now and then as one therapist I had suggested.)
I know its hard but you are one up because you are recognizing what is happening to you and so you can learn how to beat it.
Hang tough and if you need to talk any time just message me I will be there.
Oh btw have you had your thryoid tested? Hyperthyroidism will mimic bi polar and all the mood stabilizers and antidepressants in the world wont help untill that is taken care of. Just a thought.
Love Venora

[Delusion]

I appreciate you replying to me as well thank you, my sleep patterns will never be as settled as you suggest ive had chronic insomnia for a lot of my life and my circadian rhythms are very screwed up.. i did ask about it a few years ago to a doctor but they put it down to the fact i used to abuse alcohol and caffine heavilly, i know caffine is supposed to keep you awake but when i was younger i didnt even take any at all and my sleep patterns were still screwed up so i know thats not the cause..

What you have said about the six small meals a day though has actually made me realise my eating patterns are a little screwed up too when im on a low i eat virtually nothing for days dont even drink water, i guess i just assumed most people were like that when their feeling really bad.

I guess a big problem with getting help is im only 19 i dont have a car so carnt get places and if getting help requires money i dont exactly have it..

[sweetgirl1980]

Verona, I really appreciate your comments about your experiences with bipolar.  I didn't realize that sugar can aggravate bipolar though I had some knowledge that caffeine would because I would drink it about every morning when I couldn't sleep at night.  My depression right now is terrible and I'm taking three medications prescribed by my new psychiatrist, whom I've only seen once so far.  The medications I'm taking is Lamictal 100mg, Risperdal 2mg, and Clonazapem 0.5mg.  I am so restless and at night I can't sleep at all.  My psychiatrist suggested I take all three medications around 6-6:30pm so that I'll be able to fall asleep by 9pm but so far no luck.  My sleep doesn't seem to come until it's time to get up in the morning.  I'm so frustrated because I have no interest in doing anything I enjoyed, like playing the flute, jogging, spending time with friends, writing...I try to do them but I find no joy.  I feel like either the Lamictal needs to be increased back (I was on 200mg of it before I came out of the hospital for depression a few weeks back) or have an antidepressant temporarily added to my medication regimen.  On top of feeling miserable, I have to go into work everyday and put on a happy face when all I feel like doing is sleeping.  I know the best thing to do is keep busy but my biggest concern is the last of sleep.  I'm been in the hospital for suicide attempts when I was in college and for suicidal ideations/lots of depression more recently (especially in the past year been in the hospital 3 times already).  It seems like things are just looking down when I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Now that I'm not sleeping, my mind is racing, thinking of all the things I need to do the next day (all positive but it's the racing that concerns me).  I wish it would slowly dissipate.  What do you suggest about the insomnia (I'm going to read this book called Say Goodnight to Insomnia suggested by my PCP and he said a number of his patients have found relief from reading and practicing what's in the book)?  

[Venora Moonwind]

Well contact your states DHS There is tons of good help available through this routeAlso your county health dept They have good resources as well not all anit depressents ahave tons of side effects and everyone is different so what happend to one person may not happen to you and if it imporves the  quality of life well why not?
In the meantime there are things you can do lessen some of the syptoms you are having.
Diet 6 small meals a day with lots of fruit,veggies and grains. 3oz of protien with your meal.NO caffiene or sugar as thes both aggravate bi polar manic and depression
Exercise at least 30 minutes everday even if it is just a brisk walk. this will do alot to even out your moods.
Regular sleeping pattern.get 7-8 hours sleep same bedtime every night same routineeverynight.it will also balance out your mood.
And remeber you arent on your own .We are here and ther are good psychiatrists and therapist. I went through quite a few before I have mine nowand mine was through a county services referral.
I have been stable now for 8 years doing these things.
Hang tough and I pray you can get the right help. Its there but it is up to you to go after it.
Love Venora

[Delusion]

I carnt get refered to anyone, i carnt even get anti-depressants.. not that i would be to thrilled having them i know they have tons of side effects.. stupid doctors im on my own thanks to them :-/

[Venora Moonwind]

you both probably need to start over with a psychiatrist that will do an evaluation and when you do ythat evaluation you must be brutatlly honest with the docWrite down everything so when you get to the office you can give them a clear picture of what is going with you. I went thorugh several psychiatrists before I got my present one and I have to say she is the first one that I have been totally honest with and finally got a coreect dx
GP's do not have the training it takes to deal with mental health issues such as bi polar and many times they only see the depressed side so instead of referring to a psychiatrist as they should they simply prescribe an anti depressant This is no good becasue the anti depressant will send you manic eventually. and meds without therapy is no good either.Education is the key to beating bi polar Learn all you can
So search for a good psychiatrist and go from there.
Love Venora

[Babeygirltasha]

Hi, thanx 4 replyin.
Are you currently on any meds?

You asked what happened when i was diagnosed with bpd, the phyciatrist who i saw weekly changed my meds to lopramine. She came to that conclusion from an abusive, violent childhood/adulthood.
Which led 2 violent relationships, self-harm, suicide attempts. and that i felt like i had 2 b in a relationship had 2 b loved nomatter wot the consequences was.

I hope this has helped answer ur question if u want 2 no nefin else jus ask.

                                   take care

[Delusion]

I have the wild bipolar symptoms of mania and depression frequently but also suffer from insomnia as well both visual and auditory hallucinations its proved very hard trying to get diagnosed. I tried seeing my GP about bipolar and effectively was just turned away.

I must tell you dont turn to drugs alcohol or stimulants to deal with your pain it just makes things worse after the numbness has gone.

Would you be able to tell me more about what happened when you were suspected of having borderline personality disorder?