New to the site

[MrGinger]

      Hello all, I am new to this site and community and just felt the need to throw up a post. I guess it helps solidify for me that I am now willing to be as proactive as possible with this whole thing. I am in my late 20s and have a clear cut Bi polar 1 case.... I tend to swerve mostly to the manic and over analytical side of things but have also hit the depressive side a time or two, I mean who hasn't right?
       I have had 3 clear psychotic breaks with a nice little teaser of being both medicated and non medicated at the time of the break. So as much as I'd love to try and explain off these episodes, psychotic breaks, or shear and utter insanity take your pick of the title, I have my credentials so to speak lol.
       I have been on just about every med that is offered within the antipsychotic category, tried a few mood stabilizers depakote trileptal.. And have experienced negative side effects and darn near every one.
      I hold three BS degrees...9 or so hospitalizations some forced some voluntary ... And believe it or not am considered by doctors to be " high functioning" and carry with me some " invaluable insight" into the enigma that is Bi Polar 1.
      Up until this point I have not discussed or shared much of anything with anyone on the subject and after stumbling onto this forum and gaining from it the all important .... You're not alone factor.....among other things I figured its time to dive in and stop simply spectating.
      Being as I have an iPad and can't upload a picture I am a red head .... Hence the name Mr Ginger.... Red beard was already taken to my dismay!
      With that I'd like to say that it is a pleasure to meet everyone and please comment or ask anything and I promise to do the same!
  

[persephonedemeter]

There were some things in your post that I identified with. I also had a rough course. Hospitalizations I lost count about, loaded with tons of medications to the point where my pdoc actually ran out of medications and medication combos to get better. I used to think the best I could hope for was a compromise. i guess I was lucky, but it wasn't total luck. I rely on medication, but I doggedly and proactively worked on my lifestyle, worked on stopping the bad mental habits like negativity, and doing things like meditation, which really doesn't take up a lot of my time. The other mental skills are CBT and Mindfulness techniques. I use them so much now, that I don't have to think about actually going through the process of thinking about doing them. They just happen like reflex now.

Strange to say, I don't feel numb or indifferent or anything obviously off key. I only experienced a light and short cycling period, and that was brought to an end with aggressively going after lack of sleep as soon as it started, and knowing I needed to pick up the phone and tell my doctor about it and a friend who watches out for me, just in case, I really slip. They were glad I let them know. It was one of the things my pdoc used to complain about, which was I always told him difficulties after the fact.

I come to the point where I no longer identify as a person living bipolar. I see myself more as a person who has bipolar disorder. I have a healthy respect for it. I didn't become a Pollyanna, I keep in touch with it, because it is starting to feel like the cylings and the pain I went through were like distant memories, and I just don't want to forget and become cavalier about it. The kins of support I seek when I go to DBSA, Medhelp, or NAMI, is to remind me what I went through. I am riding my bicycle solo these days, but I still have a pdoc to support me, and I only see a therapist when I feel like I need to work  and sound out things I don't like to share with friends, and it is with a person who can see things outside the picture I am in, and not in it with me. My pdoc (psychiatrist) lends me the same support.

They are terrific, because they work with me. I never really feel like I am fighting them, even when we have a different view on things. Maybe, I am just lucky that we can work together and they are people I can depend on and know that they have my back.

I also think I am much better and in a better place than where I was before the bipolar disorder really kicked in. I know for certain that I don't need to be in a state of hypomania to drive me or inspire me or get me to accomplish things. The disorder definitely did not make me who I am, although I have to admit, it is and always will be a part of me. I not only see the bad things about it, but the good things in those episodes.

[Crystal413]

Welcome! Glad your here with us.

Just a side note, I use an IPad too.

[Bubulous]

Welcome friend.  You are amongst good company.  12 hospitilizations,2 wars, and one divorce :)  We keep hanging in there though.  I am glad to see a new member who is interested in providing input and maybe offer some good insight into this complex puzzle.
I think you will like it here.

[MrGinger]

Thank you for the response ... I have been looking into my local area for nami and other groups I am glad to hear that they help.

[CRSeaside]

Hi. Well ditto on your post.
  Bipolar is a bit@h. Last year was my roughest to date. 4 hospitalizations & 3 months of outpatient therapy.
  I like this site. It's real. I also like my other live support group. It's thru DBSA. NAMI has them too. Free!  
   After 8 med changes, I got a new Pdoc. She's working on outsmarting the cycles by having me on a strict regimen of uppers & downers. No antipsychotics or antidepressants. I really feel better. I'm in a controlled state of bipolar.
   I'm getting more done without going manic. I don't sleep too good because I cheat sometimes. I'm supposed to take a combo of adivan & Geodone at night. For some weird reason I don't want to take the adivan. Last nite only 3 1/2 hrs sleep. Writing this to you helps.  Tonight I'll follow the protocol & see what happens.
  Side note. I'm also an overachiever. But I think it's tied up with self worth & self esteem. Partly upbringing too.
  So keep posting. Find a support group in your area. This is a great website. Happy to have you aboard.  Maxy