Nighttime Blues

[Jen813]

Here's my situation.  I am bipolar, and I'm in a depressed state.  During the day however, I can hold myself together rather well.  Anxiety creeps up on me, but all in all I can manage to get through the daytime hours.  At night when it gets dark and the kids are in bed and it's just me and the silence everything seems to get worse.  I start with the sad feelings, the feelings of hopelessness, and am just down right miserable.  I try listening to music, it doesn't help.  Turning on the tv doesn't help either.  I can't concentrate long enough to read.  If I could just go to sleep things would be okay until morning, but sleep doesn't come easy either.  I am on medication, and while it seems to be working for the most part I am beginning to wonder if there's a need for change in meds again.

Is this kind of thing normal?  Does anyone else feel the same way?

[determined2beatit]

I know what you're going through. it's so hard especially when you are alone raising the kids. I too am in that same situation. It's hard going it alone as it is and you have normal worries and concerns to begin with. The bipolar doesn't help it..I finally got my doc to give me seroquil and I fall asleep within 30 minutes, otherwise i was cleaning closets, going through the Bills, now that's making things even worse!! I spent the whole night, just agitated myself even more. No more....now I take the med and goodnight!!

[Jen813]

I think you are right.  A quiet hobby might help.  I used to crochet and when I was just beginning it was really great because I had to really concentrate at what I was doing.  Now that I'm fairly good at it my mind wanders.  Maybe I just need to find some harder patterns!!  I think a trip to the pdoc is in order too.

[triedeverymed]

You know Jen I read this a lot in the bipolar forum. It always seems to hit people at night time, if you look back through old posts, you'll see similar ones.
I think the best thing to do if you can't sleep, is to maybe find a quiet hobby that will keep your mind off of it. I don't mean a book, we can't stay focused on that stuff, but some kind of craft maybe, or something you're good at that you can make a hobby out of. Maybe that MIGHT help, just a thought. Maybe getting something for the depression might help you get through for awhile too??
Erin

[Jen813]

I think that maybe it's my kids that keep me going during the day as far as not wanting to just sit down and cry, although the urge is there.  I keep a straight face for them.  I wonder if it's everything that I try not to think about during the day  just catches up with me at night.  Also, for my entire life I have had a hard time being alone.  I don';t like not having someone to talk to or just sit with.  I think that might have something to do with it too seeing as my husband and I just split up (and it was a REALLY ugly split).It's just so still and so quiet that nothing seems to stimulate my brain and all of those feelings just flood me.  I've noticed that when I'm bored or can't find something to do it hits me the worst.  I've got major issues with anxiety that are only exaggerated by the depression which doesn't help!!  It's good to know that I'm not alone.  Thanks guys!

[RubyShooz]

I thought I was the only one.  I usually manage to get through the day OK with my bipolar  but at night I seem to get worse -- that's when I sometimes get depressed, crying for no reason, unable to sleep, anxiety/panic attacks.  It's so frustrating.  Reminds me of the "sundowning" effect of alzheimer's patients where they get worse symptoms at night.  Maybe it has something to do with the dark and lack of daylight??  I don't know ....

[Barribjorn]

I clean, pace the house, listen to music, and am always restless at night. I have always felt this way. I have deliberately worked 2nd and 3rd shift because of this keep busy keep mind of it. With kids it gets tougher and I feel for you. Might be normal for most of us I do not know, it seems we do have some commonality with bipolar. The struggle is body chemistry and meds, what works for you may not work for me but drives Bob over the edge.

On a side note when I did exercise and work out, I still had these feeling just dealt with them better. I had zero responsibility then.

What helps you during the day? What situations or events trigger your anxiety?