guilt and anxiety

[rezurk]

I have humiliated myself in public many times and just recently I am realizing the repercussions of it. I am in fear that I would not find a friend around even in my own family. It feels like everyone is keeping something from me or saying things under there breath as I walk by. I wanted to ask, if there is any good advice to get though my anxiety and feel ok going outside again?

[rezurk]

We are all very similar.

[irishwriter]

worrying baout what other people think is one of the more crippling aspects of bp. i think most people do not realise when they are being incredibly rude and hurtful but we pick up on it and then ruminate on it for days while they remain oblivious. am having a difficult time with weight gain from meds even though i exercise one hour/day and keep calorie intake down to about 1000/day. i hate going outside and meeting people as i feel they are thinking 'look how fat she is.' am telling pdoc tomorrow that i want to come of some of the meds, it's not worth it particuarly when i dont get any benefit from them anyway.

[wannamrs]

I have never been diagnosed bipolar but my paternal grandmother my dad's sister and my dad are all bipolar and on my mom's side there are all sorts of anxiety and depression issues...I get extremely paranoid that people are talking about me or looking at me funny. I've made a big fool of myself before confronting people with no good reason to. There are many others going through the exact same thing and I'm so afraid that i'm pushing everyone away from me. Keep your chin up. Things will get better!

[faith128]

I definitely see similarities! I am bipolar 1 with mixed episodes, and am pretty much always manic. My foot seems to stay in my mouth! Lol! :)  I also have a 'word for word' memory, and will replay each incident over and over again in my head. I worry way too much what others think of me as well. Being bipolar, and caring what others think of you, does not work well together!

[LetaB]

  I think you've really struck a nail here! I am far more depressed than manic but I know that my sense of humor is attached to my mania and, boy, does it get me in hot water! Not only do I constantly put my foot in my mouth but then I'm deeply depressed and I dwell on what I've said. Also I have a phenomenal memory so, against my will, I reenact the scene over and over in my mind. And THEN, because I have (like most bipolars) a tremendous imagination, I start to think everyone else is thinking about it and judging me...see any similarities?

[hatshetsup]

I have humiliated myself many times in public and experienced extreme anxiety and embarrassment when I come down from my high. Lithium works well for me and if you get the right meds for you then eventually time will help you get over your humiliation. I had cognitive behavourial therapy for my bi-polar and it helped me to feel stronger and less worried about how people thought of me. Bi-polar is not your fault you didn't choose to have it.

[triedeverymed]

One last thing, I would ask a trusted family member if the family has an concerns about you that they haven't shared with you. If you ask nicely and in a very calm manner, you may get the answer you are looking for. This can also help you to mend relationships with your family. If you don't know what's bugging them, you can't fix it. Just be prepared for their answers and take them in stride. It may give you a place to start.

[triedeverymed]

Sometimes we think we have done things that everyone notices but the reality is that we can be over sensitive. I think we see things differently and it might not be as bad as we have convinced ourselves it is.

I'm not saying you are distorting anything but just keep in mind, it may not be that bad.
You most definately have non-judgemental, caring friends on Medhelp who understand what your going through and will always be around if you need someone.

We don't care what you do in public, we'll still be here.

Best of luck to you!!

[tres1965]

I'm available to listen anytime! You are never alone in this illness with us around.
Pls.  don't feel abandoned, even though you may. I know how  you  feel about family
& friends at times. But even then we are here! Tres

[Bear13]

you will always have someone here on Medhelp that will listen......  getting through anxiety is tough.... exercise seems to help, but then again, so do low dose medications...  you might want to consider seeing a doctor or therapist who can help you.....  let me know how you do!