I had trouble going to sleep last night and tonight I couldn't sleep. I've given up on trying to sleep for now, because every time I try and I don't fall asleep I get upset. I've been sleeping great for weeks for about 12 hours per night, falling asleep within 10 min. Which is what I need, now I can't sleep even after an hour period. I live with my parents and when I can't sleep I act like a monster. I scream and throw things trying to wake my parents up. Somehow I think it will help me fall asleep. Even though It doesn't usually do anything but make my parents hate me more and make me hate myself. I don't know why I act this way, but I hate not being able to sleep. It makes me feel suicidal and I cut myself. I find lack of sleep physically painful. One period of my life I couldn't sleep for days and it physically hurt. My eyes burned, my head hurt and I kept zoning out and felt like all around ****. I've heard anyway call lack of sleep painful. I know sleep deprivation is a form of torture, so it must be. I really need mental help and to calm my mind. I get into this mindset where I think I can't sleep and them when I go to bed I can't because I psyched myself out. I don't want to do this to my parents anymore, am I manic or something? I hate the way I treat my parents when I can't sleep. It hurts them more than it hurts me. I hate myself so much right now.
Any advice?