Bipolar and compulsive lying

[SophomoreSlump]

Hi,

I'm 25 and I was diagnosed with BP a couple of years ago. Unfortunately, it went undiagnosed for many years and as such, life hasn't exactly been easy to cope with. I've always used this as a way to justify the lies that I've told, but it dawned upon me the other day that this is a real problem and it's hurting those I love. I mostly have no reason to lie; it's largely an impulsive reaction and it can be to the most basic of questions, where the truth would be a LOT more desirable and cause no problems. Even so, I can't stop myself from inventing stories and pretending to be someone different.

I can be having a conversation with someone and I'll say, "Oh, yeah, I watched a program about that a few months ago and it said..." and then proceed to make up something, for absolutely no reason whatsoever. It doesn't enhance the conversation nor does it give me a thrill to lie, it's just an instictive reaction that I can't seem to stop.

I will always exaggerate the truth, no matter how irrelevant it may be. "I was in the hairdressers for 6 hours!" or "The dogs didn't stop barking all night!", when truthfully, the appointment was only 2 hours and the dogs might've barked once.

Those are examples of the little white lies I tell on a fairly daily basis, but it's the bigger lies that concern me the most. My boyfriend thinks I'm 18, a lie I justified because I didn't want to have to explain why I'd done nothing with my life and I felt like those lost years were somehow owed to me, since it wasn't my fault they'd gone to waste. We're still together over a year later and he still doesn't know the truth - despite the fact we're now having a baby together. I've lived in constant worry of him finding out through someone else or seeing a document with my D.O.B on, yet rather than tell him the truth, I've kept trying to think of more lies to cover it up should it ever be found out.

I don't know if this is typical BP behaviour and it isn't something I've discussed with my psychologist, though I will at my next visit, but does anyone else suffer with the same compulsion to lie and/or have any tips on how I can start to undo all the mess I've gotten myself into?

Thank you so much. X

[skibunny24]

Yes... And I never thought that it would be related to BP, but after reading your post and the comments... Maybe I is! I am lucky in that my husband knows, and it sucked at first, but now he just calls me out and gives me the opportunity to correct to the truth. I dont even think he knows he does it! Give us an update if you get a chance

[Trixie_Neptune]

I don't know if you are even watching this anymore, but on the off chance you are, I wanted you to know you are not alone. About the hair appt. and the dog barking, I do the exact same thing all the time, but tell people that I am just speaking in hyperbole, please! like it their fault for questioning my ridiculous, over the top statements. I have been bipolar since pre-puberty. I was one of the first girl surfers, when I was 8 years old. my twin cousins taught me. I have the fell detailed story for you - but none of it is true. It is just my oldest full blown creation. I have told it for so long, my sister actually repeats it too now - and I am almost 50. I tried to commit suicide 2 times when I was a teenager. My mother (probably where I got my BP from) told me not to try again because if I failed 3 times I oudl be a 3 time loser. sounds harsh, but there was no diagnose of BP back then, and oh, did I mention she is batshit crazy. that was where the lying began. Now that I am diagnosed as mixed episode BP, I force myself to tell the truth because making up stories, even the dumb little ones ( I stopped by Walmart but really went to the grocery store) signal a manic episode so I force it to go away and tell the truth. just my approach, but I didn't want to let you think you were alone...

[ILADVOCATE]

   Yes that's complex. I have schizoaffective disorder which is schizophrenia with a mood disorder and I have had this problem myself, certainly more so in the past and I more associated with that. However the family member I have with bipolar who has just started treatment often remembers events the wrong way and then exaggerates them based on the way they reacted to them. Sometimes its difficulty with social relations as well. Its complex to say exactly what the specific cause of it is but it can occur with certain psychiatric disabilities, bipolar among them. Its essential to discuss with your psychologist why you did that on specific occasions whether it was feeling uneasy about the situation or for other reasons. Then they could help you with coping skills as to how the best way to approach it is but its worthwhile to go back and think what was happening at those times.