Tantrums

[livefreewithlove]

Has anyone ever thrown a tantrum on somebody and not known what happened until after. I did that on my boy friend. I yelled and screamed and him about amonth ago. I didn't remember much about it until he told me what happened. Iras shocked and frightened by my own behavior.  Have any of you ever lost control like that?

[Bubulous]

BP 1

[livefreewithlove]

I have bipolar 2 disorder. You?

[Bubulous]

That is a loaded question....

When I am depressed, I don't want to be around people.  Everything about me makes me feel like ****.  I want to cut myself, fantasize about cutting off limbs, or just kill myself.  I can't stand to look in the mirror.  I can't stand people that I loved the day before.  This is why the 2 girls that loved me in this life called me "complicated".  I would quit a job if I had one.  I wouldn't go in and quit I would just not go in, not call, and avoid them at all cost.  After some time I would then go back asking for a job.  I did this several times at several jobs.  lol

When I am manic.  I want to be around everyone.  I start organizing everything, talking to everyone I see, talk down to people I think talk too slow, feel like I know more than anyone else in the world.  All of this can be going on at the same time but if I am cleaning or talking to somebody I don't like it when somebody interrupts my euphoric feeling or walks up and interrupts me, I get fighting mad.  I feel like the most beautiful thing in the world, I believe I can heal people with just my smile.  I pace around while thinking and touching each finger on both hands to the thumb tips on each hand.  If I hear something like a rythm or even people talking I try to look for patterns in it and touch my finger tips to that.  If I have nothing else to listen to I am either fantasizing or counting.  I get overwhelmed if I walk into a room that is dirty.  I will be able to concentrate very well and all sports or anything I do I pick up quick and can't remember how to do most of these things when I come back down.  

That is pretty much a short version of it, it may be more than you asked for. lol

[livefreewithlove]

To answer your question that I didn't see earlier I have bipolar 2 disorder. The low are really bad but I don't get euphoric highs. My manic state is usually either irritable or restless or both. I also cycle faster than bp 1. What about you? What symptoms do you have?

[Bubulous]

I am glad you cleared that up because I would have likely been stuck on that sentence for a while.  I read it three time then understood what I thought it meant then I read your other post and I was like OOOHHH.  Funny lol

I am glad he got to come home for Christmas I was in Afghanistan during Christmas of 2009.

[livefreewithlove]

Getting help. Sorry. Brain fog