Why

[finsright]

I've worked my entire like. I met the most perfect man had two children and by most standanfs had the perfect life! Then everything went wrong.  I suffer from bi-polar, depression and chronic pain.
My husband died my children are grown and I was thrown into hell. All I really have is my faith but it's so hard to not get angry I try to be thankful. for the years I've had. please keep me in your prayers. The pain is hard to accept. Love to all Gail

[darlenedaisy]

I hear you, and my heart goes out to you.
In my opinion, allow your anger, it is part of grieving. You are entitled to feel whatever way you feel, just to be you. Happy, sad, angry ... it is human !!!
So, dont feel ashamed of the process, no need to smile when you are down, no need to feel bad if you get angry. Those who love you will understand, those who dont, are not friends, but merely aquaintances.
Unfortunately, my experience with emotional pain, is it has to walked thru. That is the price we pay when we love someone dearly.
Better to love and lose it, than to never have loved at all. I hope this saying helps a bit.
Sincerely, darlenedaisy

[lindahand]

It is easy to feel discouraged when you are depressed and when you are in pain it is even worse. I hope you can go easy on yourself.I've been in pain and depressed and it is so difficult to keep waking up each morning knowing the pain isn't going anywhere. But you really need to focus on self care. You need to force yourself to eat right, and to go to bed at good times.

It is important to remember that bipolar is cyclical, you will get out of it. Take heart, it won't last forever.

I struggle with God's plan in all of this too. The beautitudes say "Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven". Its okay if you are not always strong. God doesn't leave, he is there, especially if we can not feel his presence it doesn't mean he is not there.  He gets how hard this is for us. I will pray for you tonight.

[adel_ezz]

Hi Gail

your mail is too short to realize where lies the real problem. is it a financial problem that triggered the whole mess, or that aside from depression you have another illness that causes pain. What about your children, do they not look after you say and this makes you unhappy. Perhaps loneliness is the main cause.

As to keeping you in our prayers that's easy, may God look after you and sort out your problems. Hold on to your faith.

Life is really damn short and - in my view - so long that one walks on his 2 legs then apart from this, everything else is minor. This is an Egyptian proverb. Of course this is easily said but everybody whether mentally ill or not thinks that life must reward him at its best. Unfortunately, all types of misfortune exist. When I see a person smiling this doesn't mean he is better than me or have no problems, or that people try in general to hide their real feelings, but happiness is a transient state. Life is full of pitfalls and the trick is to get going. No matters how many turns in the road, a driver must get going.

Another matter, when one is depressed, one thinks that others will run for help. Not necessarily unless the very very next of kin. Simply because others have their problems too.

Besides, I have known people who have extremely difficult problems but still keep going and didn't lose hope. Others succumb under minor things. It's like some need no anesthesia to let the dentist work in their teeth, while others need to be be under heavy one. This is called pain threshold.  

If you are secure financially, then my advise is to fetch for a job as volunteer to help others. By helping others, the depression lessens because you realize how others feel. Like helping in the church or distribute food etc...  

good luck