Aa
how much should I disclose to the doc
I have been seeing my pdoc for over a year now and I do trust him but I still hold back on whats going on in my mind, how much do you disclose and should I tell hime everything. My fear is that they will think Im a danger to myself or someonelse and im really not, im seeing my doc on monday and I am torn about what exactly to tell him.
I can understand the fear you hold of being taken the wrong way on what You disclose to Your doctor however your doctor can not help you without knowing the truth (the whole truth) about Your past and your feelings and thoughts.
If You truly want these to go away despite the fear of not wanting to disclose them you need to speak about them.
Can You write them down in a journal and give it to Your doctor at the end of the visit for him to read before he sees you next'?
If You truly want these to go away despite the fear of not wanting to disclose them you need to speak about them.
Can You write them down in a journal and give it to Your doctor at the end of the visit for him to read before he sees you next'?
I remember when I committed myself last May; it was horrendous.. I was in the middle of a terrible mixed episode, I felt terrible, and I had been having the same kinds of issues for months.
My wife didn't know how bad I felt; I hadn't told her anything.. She was in the ER room with me while I confessed to the hospital shrink about the things that were running though my head. My wife took it very, very hard; she was more upset than I was when I walked into the psych center.
So, I can empathize with you, for sure. It's difficult to deal with the family side of things when you're hurting so badly. Even when I did fess up, my wife didn't understand, but I didn't expect her to. If you've never had a BP episode than you never know how bad things can get.
But, a pdoc does know how bad things can get and they know that there are very real and awful consequences if those feelings go unchecked. So, that's where being honest with your shrink comes into play; it real is a game of full disclosure. For example, when I was having mood swings and mixed episodes, I referred to the mixed episodes and agitated mania as panic attacks when talking to my shrink. I had done my research on the internet and I knew that what I was feeling weren't panic attacks and that my symptoms were more akin to BP disorder. But, I kept referring to them as panic attacks and didn't tell her how quickly and intensely my moods had been swinging. She knew I was having mood swings, but I didn't tell her that I was basically spending everyday a suicidal wreck.
Because I wasn't honest with her, everything got worse. She diagnosed me with GAD/depression and gave me suitable medications.. All of which messed me up even further. I finally ended up in the psych center again, where it took me going into a full blown rage with a shrink followed (very quickly) by a deep depression to get things figured out.
My wife didn't know how bad I felt; I hadn't told her anything.. She was in the ER room with me while I confessed to the hospital shrink about the things that were running though my head. My wife took it very, very hard; she was more upset than I was when I walked into the psych center.
So, I can empathize with you, for sure. It's difficult to deal with the family side of things when you're hurting so badly. Even when I did fess up, my wife didn't understand, but I didn't expect her to. If you've never had a BP episode than you never know how bad things can get.
But, a pdoc does know how bad things can get and they know that there are very real and awful consequences if those feelings go unchecked. So, that's where being honest with your shrink comes into play; it real is a game of full disclosure. For example, when I was having mood swings and mixed episodes, I referred to the mixed episodes and agitated mania as panic attacks when talking to my shrink. I had done my research on the internet and I knew that what I was feeling weren't panic attacks and that my symptoms were more akin to BP disorder. But, I kept referring to them as panic attacks and didn't tell her how quickly and intensely my moods had been swinging. She knew I was having mood swings, but I didn't tell her that I was basically spending everyday a suicidal wreck.
Because I wasn't honest with her, everything got worse. She diagnosed me with GAD/depression and gave me suitable medications.. All of which messed me up even further. I finally ended up in the psych center again, where it took me going into a full blown rage with a shrink followed (very quickly) by a deep depression to get things figured out.
I dont mind bluntness, I have realised I have no one to talk too honestly about what is going on. I tried to speak to my husband but he is not a talker or a listner for that matter, he is great at running around doing stuff so I dont have to but thats the limit, I know I have to open up to my doc and im really going to try but I have never told anyone my crazy thoughts and this is a scarey big step for me. thanks
I tell the doctor anything unusual I'm doing or experiencing that people have informed me of or I was aware of but I have to rely on others because I apparently can't tell when I'm relapsing until it becomes apparent. Only things I didn't tell him were things related to violence which I generally keep to myself from everyone so it's not really out of fear of being committed.
I know where you're coming from; I am feeling fine right now and there are times when I just want to throw all of the d-mn pills out. But, I have a 'different' support system from yours; mental illness runs like wildfire throughout my family. So, if I took myself off of my meds, they'd probably try to have me committed.
I wasn't angry when in my post, but I know, from my own experience, that there are times when bluntness is needed. I learned this one the hard way; I am stubborn as h-ll.
I wasn't angry when in my post, but I know, from my own experience, that there are times when bluntness is needed. I learned this one the hard way; I am stubborn as h-ll.
Thank you all soo much for your advise, I have taken the first step and told my husband I want to go on my own, I think I will be able to be a little more open on my own.
bpchrispb, I know I have done this to myself and that I ignorred all the good advise I was given but I felt good and really was in denial of my illness, I guess I have at least acheived a step forward in acknowledging that I am bipolar and now Ive just got to deal with it.
bpchrispb, I know I have done this to myself and that I ignorred all the good advise I was given but I felt good and really was in denial of my illness, I guess I have at least acheived a step forward in acknowledging that I am bipolar and now Ive just got to deal with it.
While I love my husband, he is not coming into my appointments with me. They are the only thing that I have that he is not a part of. He knows most of what my pdoc knows, but I would be incredibly uncomfortable with him there (which is what you're going through).
Tell him you're not comfortable and that he already knows, but you need to have the 1:1 time with your pdoc. He can wait in the lobby if he wants, but I wouldn't take him in.
Good luck.
Tell him you're not comfortable and that he already knows, but you need to have the 1:1 time with your pdoc. He can wait in the lobby if he wants, but I wouldn't take him in.
Good luck.
Dear hell,
Not ALL things should ever be told nor discussed with doctor and HUSBAND. Somethings are just too painful and no one needs to share them except your doctor and you. So the next time tell the Doctor, EVERYTHING. He has taken an oath not to divulge it to husband or anyone. A pastor is good for moral things that need let going of to go forward. If you want more info or let off some steam, you know how to find me.
zzzmykids
Not ALL things should ever be told nor discussed with doctor and HUSBAND. Somethings are just too painful and no one needs to share them except your doctor and you. So the next time tell the Doctor, EVERYTHING. He has taken an oath not to divulge it to husband or anyone. A pastor is good for moral things that need let going of to go forward. If you want more info or let off some steam, you know how to find me.
zzzmykids
Oh how I know that feeling, if you are not sure, write it down, just write it all down. Especially the part about how you are worried about what might happen. I also have felt like this in the past, particularly when combined with the high anxiety. Writing it down allows you to collect your thoughts, well as best as I could at the time. Then all you have to do is hand over a piece of paper.
Your doctor and family are there to help you.
Also I noticed you are not using the mood tracker on this site, personally I think it is the most helpful thing you can get. Each day I just tick whichever symptoms I'm feeling during the day and write a little journal note also for the day. Couldn't recommend it highly enough, now all I do is take that in when I see the doctor, psychologist whoever. In fact I even got them to register to the site and invited them as friends, so they can check when they want. The other good thing is over time you can start to get a feeling of when the bad times might be coming yourself and try to head them of at the pass, rather than having them hijack you which sounds like they have done so now.
The other part to using the mood tracker is it shows others you are trying to help yourself, which gives them confidence you are heading the right way and not a danger to yourself.
In other words, you sound like you are in an anxious state, which is affecting your rational thought, be honest and get the help you need. Then learn from it when you come back down.
At the first sign of trouble I run to help, only to find out most people had known I wasn't good for ages and were trying to get me the help, but no matter what anyone told me I didn't listen.
So listen, be honest and startup the mood tracker.
Your doctor and family are there to help you.
Also I noticed you are not using the mood tracker on this site, personally I think it is the most helpful thing you can get. Each day I just tick whichever symptoms I'm feeling during the day and write a little journal note also for the day. Couldn't recommend it highly enough, now all I do is take that in when I see the doctor, psychologist whoever. In fact I even got them to register to the site and invited them as friends, so they can check when they want. The other good thing is over time you can start to get a feeling of when the bad times might be coming yourself and try to head them of at the pass, rather than having them hijack you which sounds like they have done so now.
The other part to using the mood tracker is it shows others you are trying to help yourself, which gives them confidence you are heading the right way and not a danger to yourself.
In other words, you sound like you are in an anxious state, which is affecting your rational thought, be honest and get the help you need. Then learn from it when you come back down.
At the first sign of trouble I run to help, only to find out most people had known I wasn't good for ages and were trying to get me the help, but no matter what anyone told me I didn't listen.
So listen, be honest and startup the mood tracker.
It's rough, but you really do have to be honest with your pdoc if you want the correct treatment. You may have done something rash, but the doc isn't going to hospitalize you. Remember, hospitalization is short term; it's just to get people to the situation you are in now: working with a doctor.
I have posted this before, BP disorder can cause so much pain that it skews your judgment and coming off of/going back on medication will do the very same. You're probably not rational right now; your fears of being open with your pdoc are unfounded.
If you want to get out of this bad place, you'll have to be honest with your shrink. Or else, you'll go through the very same thing I did a year ago. I wasn't rational, had a shrink that wanted to diagnose me as BP, I ignored him and suffered for another three months. Had I been open and honest with the guy, I would have solved the problem quickly. I KNOW he would have put me on at least two of the three meds I am on now and I would have solved myself some grief.
And, I am going to be blunt here, Maam. You initially asked for advice on coming off of medications on this forum. You received good input from many people on here but you chose to ditch them anyway. Now, you are dealing with another difficult situation and are again ignoring advice from people that have been in your situation. Your decisions are you own and I am sorry that you are suffering, but if you listen to the sound advice on this forum, you'll get better.
I have posted this before, BP disorder can cause so much pain that it skews your judgment and coming off of/going back on medication will do the very same. You're probably not rational right now; your fears of being open with your pdoc are unfounded.
If you want to get out of this bad place, you'll have to be honest with your shrink. Or else, you'll go through the very same thing I did a year ago. I wasn't rational, had a shrink that wanted to diagnose me as BP, I ignored him and suffered for another three months. Had I been open and honest with the guy, I would have solved the problem quickly. I KNOW he would have put me on at least two of the three meds I am on now and I would have solved myself some grief.
And, I am going to be blunt here, Maam. You initially asked for advice on coming off of medications on this forum. You received good input from many people on here but you chose to ditch them anyway. Now, you are dealing with another difficult situation and are again ignoring advice from people that have been in your situation. Your decisions are you own and I am sorry that you are suffering, but if you listen to the sound advice on this forum, you'll get better.
How long are your visits? My visits are usually only 15 minutes. Depending on how long your visits are will determine how much you can share with him. I know some doctors would prefer you ask to talk to a therapist or counseler and then they share the information with the doctor. It depends on how long your visits are.
im not sure im ready, im too scared what he may do, also my husband comes and it would crush him and he would be angry/shocked at one particular action I did, I am shocked, ashamed and embarressed. I have too many people depending on me, I cant afford to risk it. I am now having anxiety attacks and feel sometimes I am so angry inside that I may explode, I am containing it at the moment and I hope it doesnt get any worse before monday.
Dear Hell,
Please tell your psych all that you are feeling. I tell him all that is going on in my head.
As of yet, he has not hospitalized me from what I have shared. I don't seem to be telling him things he did not already suspect and he makes me feel at ease telling him. Please, friend, tell him.
Concerned and caring,
zzzmykids
Please tell your psych all that you are feeling. I tell him all that is going on in my head.
As of yet, he has not hospitalized me from what I have shared. I don't seem to be telling him things he did not already suspect and he makes me feel at ease telling him. Please, friend, tell him.
Concerned and caring,
zzzmykids
The shrink will treat you to the best of their ability if you're completely honest with them. I learned that the hard way with my shrink; I never admitted that I was suicidal in our sessions and I wasn't treated aggressively.
It took me committing myself to finally get the treatment I needed from her. She knew that I was in bad shape and my treatment has been solid since. When I had my episode in March, she did everything she could to get me back up and running; we went through a lot of medications. I had bad reactions to all of them, BUT, she was willing to run the gauntlet with the APs and if one of them would have worked, it would have been helpful.
Be honest; if you're having suicidal thoughts, tell your shrink. They're not going to commit you, but you will get better treatment.
It took me committing myself to finally get the treatment I needed from her. She knew that I was in bad shape and my treatment has been solid since. When I had my episode in March, she did everything she could to get me back up and running; we went through a lot of medications. I had bad reactions to all of them, BUT, she was willing to run the gauntlet with the APs and if one of them would have worked, it would have been helpful.
Be honest; if you're having suicidal thoughts, tell your shrink. They're not going to commit you, but you will get better treatment.
I was much more open the last time than I've ever been. I tried my best in the past, but I have the same fears as you. It did feel good to get it out - it was stuff that I was afraid to tell before.
Even the intrusive thoughts - those awful things I was thinking... she just asked about them - getting more details. Wasn't even uncomfortable once I got it out... Just relief.
It helped me - I was scared of the exact same thing. I finally decided that if I really was a danger to myself or others and didn't realize it, I should probably be getting the additional help they would recommend.
That is the *hardest* part of going to the pdoc for me. It is so hard for me to trust anyone...
Even the intrusive thoughts - those awful things I was thinking... she just asked about them - getting more details. Wasn't even uncomfortable once I got it out... Just relief.
It helped me - I was scared of the exact same thing. I finally decided that if I really was a danger to myself or others and didn't realize it, I should probably be getting the additional help they would recommend.
That is the *hardest* part of going to the pdoc for me. It is so hard for me to trust anyone...
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