3 1/2 year old social skills

I have a 3 1/2 year old stepson who stays with us on weekends.  I am concerned because he displays anxiety in all social situations, even with his grandparents.  He will be excited to see nana and then cry and refuse to go into the house when we arrive.  He will be excited to see his cousin, but when he comes to visit, he will cry and hide.  He does not play or even go near other children at the playground. When we go to the beach, he will not even let us take off his shoes or socks.  We try to encourage him and teach by example, but it doesn't seem to have an impact.  Is this normal behaviour or should we be concerned?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Jennifer,

This is not what could be regarded as normal behavior. However, it's important to consider the context of this child's moving between two homes, and the degree to which this situation is contributing to his reactions. If he behaves in this way in all social situations it warrants more concern than if he behaves this way in only part of his life. Hopefully his parents have the type of relationship which allows them to work together on your stepson's behalf and seek any necessary clinical evaluation.