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4 yr old behavior problems
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4 yr old behavior problems

My son has recently turned 4 and started 4K.  He has been in Daycare (a preschool type setting) since he was 1.  I've been having behavior issues with him since he turned 3.  He is very defiant, and when I am trying to speak to him or ask him to do something he acts like he doesn't hear me.  He completely ignores me.  If I do grab his attention, he'll look for only a minute, then look away and focus on something else.  He also has an issue with spitting.  He spits on other children and on things (chairs, tables, ect).  and, up until recently, he would impulsively hit other children.  He also will lash out on our animals, smack them or hit them with something he's picked up (a shirt or toy for example).  His temper tantrums are few and far between but when he has them, they are HORRIBLE.  Crying, screaming, hitting, biting, you name it, he does it.  Usually this happens when he is sleepy, around bath time.  
His 4K teacher has told me that he doesn't interact well with the group.  If he is doing independent work, then he's fine.  She has to sit him by himself when she reads the class a story.  He calls the other children names and spits.  He also asks to use the bathroom very often when he is there, and she told me that he tends to stay in there an abnormally long period of time.  He even had an accident at school, and has been potty trained since he was two.  He very very rarely has any accidents at home, and when he does, they are usually nighttime accidents.

Now, I have to say, when he is good he is GREAT.  He uses his manners and is a very smart boy.  When he's in a good mood he gives me hugs and kisses and listens.  He wont open up to me and talk to me about school.  When I ask how his day is, he just shrugs.  But he tells me he loves school and his teacher.  I just don't understand.

Thanks!
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He is having sufficient difficulty to warrant an evaluation by a pediatric mental health clinician. It would be prudent to arrange this.
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