We have 5 1/2 year old twins (b/g), and our son has had temper tantrums for several years. He is also prone to impulsive behavior and does things he know are wrong, but just can't seem to help himself. The tantrums go on at school, at home...and my husband and I are at our wits' end. Tonight he actually came at me like he wanted to knock me over, he was so angry (I had told him to get ready for his shower, and I had already given him a 5 minute "warning"). We've seen two psychologists that didn't see anything "wrong" with him, no ADD. But I think that he should be growing out of this behavior now that he's getting older.
For tantrums, we now pretty much ignore the behavior, unless it's getting to the point where he can hurt himself. After these episodes, he gets really down on himself, "nobody likes me", "I hate myself", and the like. It's heartbreaking and we just don't know what to do.
And, for the record, when he's not misbehaving, he's a sweetheart, a snuggler, and a very smart little boy. It just seems that once he starts, he can't stop, whether it's a tantrum, or fighting with his sister, etc.
Any help/guidance would be greatly appreciated. We last went to a psychologist about a year ago, and I'm thinking it might be time to go again. HELP!
The main question to answer is whether your son's condition is an example of a developmental problem with affect management and impulse control or symptomatic of an emotional disorder. To help answer this question a re-visit to a mental health clinician would be useful. Re; intervention (medication aside), a systematic plan for behavior management both at home and in school is necessary. Such a plan is detailed in Lynn Clark's book SOS Help for Parents and would be a beneficial approach.
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