my normally very sweet, kind, obedient 8 year old girl has turned "horrible" if she dose not get her way she screams & yells she calls me, a jerk, "i hate you" and she will yell this while slamming her door. all this over getting off the computer, no t.v or telling her there is no time in the am for her to change her clothes yet again. she will keep this up and it just escalates till she is totally out of control sometimes i am able to stay calm but too often i lose it and get very angry. always, always after she is very contrite and says "mommy i am so sorry i love you i won't do it again" but it always happens sometimes even within a few hours. i have tried taking things away but this makes her even more belligerent. i have resorted to just ignoring it all together and then when she wants something i say "no" she asks "why?" & i say, "because i'm a jerk" then she says, "sorry mommy i said i was sorry" any help she really is a very sweet child and does very well at school and is popular w/ teachers & kids so whats up with her?
It is not unusual for a generally compliant child to go through a phase of oppositionality and refusal, as they say, to 'take NO for an answer'. As you are aware, it's better to stay calm, not letting yourself become overly emotional and nagry. That just results in two people becoming angry, instead of one. When she's reacting poorly, you can 'invite' her to go to her room until she's able to act reasonably. Or, you might have to adopt a more structured aaproac be giving her a timed period (e.g., 10 minutes) of time out, to begin only when she is quiet. If you'd like to learn more about the structured, systematic method of behavior management, look at Lynn Clark's SOS Help for Parents (www.sosprograms. com).
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