Child Behavior

I have a wonderful 10 year old son. He has a huge, loving heart which he shows often. He is very talented in athletics. His father and I were divorced when he was 5 years old. He has showed signs of internal anger almost raging at times. I have so far calmed him and have had him treated by a child psychologist. we chose a male on purpose. He couldnt reach my son. Everytime my sons father was mentioned he froze. We lost our very secure,structured home due to my sons father not paying child support and has also become dependant on drugs. His father is not at all in his life and has not been since he left. I have been honest with him about drug abuse and why people behave as they do on drugs. All he remembers is a good father who was not on drugs. My son is smart and loving. I dont know how to get out his anger. I feel like if I could reach inside him and pull it out he would be just find. Its starting to show in school. His teacher and I are working closely together because he does have the ability. He refuses to even try. I have taken away all privleges. It disent seem to help. I know there are camps out there for anger management. Do they include a 10 year old? Would it help him...Thank you

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Kimberly A.,

I am not familiar with the sort of camps you mention. Perhaps one of the readers of this Forum will know more than I about this.

Children who have difficulty with anger face a number of challenges. They need to 'figure out' why they become angry - i.e., what circumstances precipitate their angry response. They also need to figure out how their anger gets in their way, and what sorts of alternatives they can employ.

You have decided that your son's problems with anger are directly related to the circumstances associated with his father. You may be correct about this. But often, particularly with young children, the matter is more complicated.

Cognitive-behavioral approaches to problems with anger tend to be effective. Don't give up on your son's therapy. He may also benefit from a group therapy approach. Check out the options in your area.