Is my son manifesting normal behaviour?

My son is four he has been four weeks in fulltime school and has been accused of iappropriately touching another four year old in circle time. there were two reported episodes and an episode that they said was going to happen but didn't.

He was an ill child and has a paediatrician, he spent alot of time getting hugs and on my knee due to his health and he walked and talked late. He has three older siblings and one younger sibling when he was two i had to stop breastfeeding and he was jelous of his younger brother when he came along and went to siblings his dad and grandparents for comfort if i was busy with the baby. from bieng months old he developed a habit of rubbing stroking skin, arms legs face etc when feeding for comfort. this continued when he was sleepy or needed comfort. he still occaisionally sleeps in the afternoon. If he likes someone he rubs their leg if he is sat with them. He is very trusting and had no idea when i asked him that he had even touched anyone, he didn't know it was wrong either. and now is unsure he keeps asking if he can hold hands with children, if he can cuddle grandma and he is affraid of going back to school. I am a health visitor, my work surrounds the physical and emotional health of children, i come accross sexualised behaviour of which this is not. He has never watched on tv or seen or heard anything inappropriate at home, his siblings don't do any of this. they go to bed before the watershed and don't have tv's in their rooms. I have boundaries and routines, and we give each other the normal hugs that a normal family does.

I have discussed touch now as school requested, i used role play of circle time to help. I am also concerned about the girl as not many four year olds would find the touch of a play mate upsetting.

I am concerned that school manage this properly , Hve i managed it appropriately? and what can i do to help my son feel ok as it has confused him.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You're doing fine. His touching sounds like it was very innocent and there's no reason he should be made to feel that he did something wrong. You can tell him that, while some forms of touching are OK in the family, it's really not such a good idea to do the same thing outside the family, such as in school. He does have to learn, and his recent experinces are how it happens, that touching other people is not accepted as a casual thing to do.