The child is 4 years old. He does not use the toilet to poo at all and will only poo in nappies. He will urinate on the toilet in public and other people's houses. He gets really distressed when anyone "thanks him " (or any positive reinforcement) for doing a poo. He is aware that other kids go to the toilet and he has a very clear awareness what their toilet behaviour involves.
He has also some speech developmental problems - people who know him only can understand him - as he speaks as if he got a dummy in his mouth.
His mother is very concerned about these two issues, the father urges her to be more patient. Is there any connection between this two developmental stages and should a specialist be consulted. By what age should the parents be worried about this developmental delays?
By the age of four most children are toilet trained, but it's not alarming if a child isn't trained at that age. By five, there's more reason to be concerned.
When there is a marked delay in an area of development (e.g., speech/language), it can be an isolated delay, but there can also be additional areas of delay. It would make sense to have an evaluation by a developmental pediatrician to investigate this boy's status in the various spheres of development.
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