Tantrums

My 8 year old son rants and raves everytime he is told to do something.  When he is reminded to do things he screams and cries and stomps through the house "I always have to do everything" for example.  He will claw his face, clench his teeth  and fists and pull his hair. He doesn't do transistions very well either ie, he can't stop what it is he is doing and move on.  If he is in the middle of  something and is reminded of his chore (taking out the trash), this will trigger a major fit.  No punishment has worked.  He leaves to go to his room to have his tantrum and throws things in his room or bangs his head.
It is not for attention.  It seems to be rage. He has hit me if I am in his way.  After the tantrum, we talk.  He is ashamed of his behavior but says, "If you wouldn't..."  He is a very loving child, but his temper is scary. This year in school is the first that he has problems.  One boy was teasing him and he tackled him in the school library. I thought he would out grow these tantrums.

Your help is appreciated, Thank you.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Mrs. G.,

Children who display such rage often perceive the 'cause' of their anger as outside themselves; they blame others for their distress. They see their behavior as a reasonable response to what they perceive as others' unfair or unreasonable behavior. They justify their behavior, instead of recognizing it as a problem.

The child needs help in developing better strategies for dealing with anger; the parent needs help in managing the child's behavior.

You would be doing your son and yourself a favor by seeking professional help. Your son's behavior is clearly outside the normal spectrum of child behavior problems, and warrants professional intervention.

If you utilize the Search function in this Forum, you will find some information about behavior management which you might find useful. But don't let it substitute for a consultation with a mental health professional.