Recently i've had some real life changing family issues. My dad with Bipolar, who is the best person in my life, had an episode after the death of his father (my granddad), and the diagnosis of my Aunty with cervical cancer. My dad, who'd been off his medication for about a year after meeting his girlfriend who he loved alot, flipped. With lots of issues amongst our family, and his girlfriend leaving for a week, he became depressed and became strange. One night, he was really aggressive to his girlfriend, and she called an ambulance as she knew my normally happy, funny dad wasn't right. Assessed by the hospital, they checked him out and gave him some tablets. He went back to his girlfriends, and then he went to my Grandma's house to "Sort some stuff out". Long story short, he went there and he strangled my Uncle, beat and kicked him. Normally they got along, and my family always seemed like any other family. My grandma was woken up by the yelling and noise, and he grabbed them both from his rush of adrenaline he had a crazy amount of strength. He locked them into his old room , and beat them up badly. My cousin had missed calls, and became worried so she went to the house, when my dad grabbed her and began to beat her as well. My Uncle and Grandma managed to escape, but my cousin wasn't ok. They all ended up ok, but my dad went to jail for almost a year. My family was traumatised, and it absolutely killed me. My dad was the closest person in my life, i never thought it could affect me or my family like it has. I had councilling, and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and my dad is out now, and almost back to normal. I'm not allowed to see him much, and my familys been torn apart. I cry every night still, over a year later. I am not close to my mum, or brother and I feel like I have no one to talk to. I give up on all the stuff I love, I hate going to Tennis which I used to be really good at, I quit my job because I kept making mistakes, my Grades are decreasing, and I sometimes honestly wish I could just end my life. It's getting bad, and I haven't got anyone to talk to. I'm not good at talking to people (like councillers) It's really awkward. Whenever I fight with my Mum and Brother (which is often) I do stuff to hurt myself. I just need someone to help me what to do, please.