Psychological?

Hi
Ive been in a steady relationship for 2 years now, we are trying for a baby.

About 3 months ago i started having problems keeping an erection. My partner was very understanding, but i resorted to Cialis, which helped untill a month ago and now that seems to do nothing.

Thing is, in the mornings - about 50% of the time i wake up with a very firm erection , yet when getting saucy with my partner...nothing!

Does this suggest ive got some sort of psychological issue?. I do think that somehow ive managed to forget how much fun sex is...and view it as a 'duty to perform' or something but its very confusing.

Thanks

[Janice M Epp, PhD]

Hello.

It's my experience that when people ask themselves the right questions, they generally come up with accurate answers. In this case, you're right on the money, as you've no doubt figured out.

Yes, it's emotional/psychological, and yes, you've taken all the fun out of sex. You're trying to get pregnant, and obviously, sex has become a job rather than a pleasurable activity.

You've also discovered that drugs can't fix emotions. All the Cialis in the world isn't going to "make" you feel sexy or attracted to your partner when you're feeling conflicted.

Your next step is to talk with your partner about putting the fun back into sex. There are lots of ways to play: mutual fantasies, new toys, lingerie...you get the picture. Just because you're trying to get pregnant doesn't mean you can't let that goal go during sex. After all, although you NEED food to live, you don't think about nutrition when you're enjoying a great meal, do you? Of course not.

It's also possible that your partner has in some way contributed to your lack of enjoyment. If here attitudes have turned you off, you need to talk about that and problem solve this together. It's something the two of you can do to strengthen your relationship and build more fun into your lives. Best of luck to you. Dr. J