Honest Answers, No BS! LONG post!

[Lady Lauri]

:}  Okay the topic is this......how many really do other med's to help get thru the symptoms of Hep and the sides of tx?
  Please bare in mind in this long story, that I am also a dress up, ‘normal’ business woman that most would be in shock if they saw me when doing this!
   As most here awhile have probably heard from me a time or two.....I am VERY 'anti drug' -abuse of prescribed drugs, street drugs’ and active in fighting the worst 'new' threats, crack and the again popular meth, grabbing our young by the b*alls! (and ‘old’) People get 'hooked' very often on that 1st hit with those. I have literally 'bought' 'kids' from dealers, give them a picture, they set them up and if I get them, in hand, they get the money. We all know-most of us- that a crack head will sell their mom for a hit! I have a few I ‘use’ for this and have gotten who I am looking for every time. Our understanding is, you help me, I shut up on you! I have a ‘Christian drug counselor’ who has given my name,# to parents to help find their kid. I have gotten the call at 4:00 am and gone into 'crack town' alone to get them, have jumped thru the back of a car window, put a knife to the scumbags throat and drug the kid out! I have chased crack dealers with an axe handle! (Dangerous and extreme yes, but that one was a loved family member drug into it by an older, using guy that made a habit of getting 'kids' hooked to use their $$! That 'man' is now in prison 3 years, poor thing! )With a scar on his arm from me! That 'kid' is, 2 years later, drug free, into the arts and back to being a GQ , handsome, going somewhere young man that he was. It is heartbreaking the ‘kids’ I would see at those place’s. Cops ‘overlook’ me and actually respect what I do, tho have made the speech I may get hurt, etc. And as extreme as my methods are, I am proud to say only one I couldn't 'save', yet he did go back to the re-hab later and is now clean. I am one crazy woman. (need to add....I have a bit of biker, and some tough guys back up and our local police dept. actually goes 'in' with me at times 'off the record' , not arresting anyone, just helping me get who I came for!) All is also out of my pocket. I have lived in that world, briefly, 32 years ago, and will do anything I can to get someone out of it. (the success rate of quitting crack, for good, is 5%!! Once 'hooked') I went into all that as.....am not, nor ever been ashamed of how we believe I got Hep C, is when I 'ran away' at 16 yrs. old and 'lived in the streets' (a virgin, no less!!) and got with people and tried all kinds of drugs, had done heroin before loosing my virginity! Within 2 years, by the grace of God.....a 'street guy' that cared took me back to Fla., left me with friends and snuck out in the night, of which I had seen so much I knew I did not want that life. I saw terrible things and many are amazed I never got hurt and ‘walked’ away so easily. I than became anti-anti-anti. Went on to be a good mother of 3 and have a great life. I now use my disease in my 'talks' with young people to say "SEE....look what stupid young mistakes can do! ALL these years later'. My plan, was working on before dx, so now after tx. Is to get a few acre’s and make an ‘animal rescue, kid’s in trouble come take care of them’ counseling type ranch. It’d be pretty hypocritical if I became addicted to med’s thru tx and hep to do this! LOL.
That all said.......I also developed a bit of a phobia for all drugs, even ‘good, needed’ med’s. Took NOTHING. (tx has been a ‘conquer the phobia’ for me!) Several years ago encountered 'panic attacks'?? Tough, no fear woman kicked to the curb. My dr., knowing I never took med's...said 'be a good girl and JUST try these"..... xanax, lowest dose and wouldn't do AD's. With them and a LOT of mental training, beat those and long gone from my daily life. I do them occasionally to sleep and always made sure I was careful not to do daily, get addicted, etc. THAN came hep symptoms, terrible aches, pains and could not do any of my very active jobs well, he gave me Vicoprofen. Again, very careful with them and suffer most days as opposed to doing daily. NOW..…(babble, babble.-sorry!).....I could not have gotten thru hep symptoms, dx, and now tx without doing those 2 pill's on the really bad days and 1st shot day Dr. even gave me Valium and said do the night before and do an hour before app. I read and hear a lot here on suffering and comments on some med's hurt the liver, etc. but my Hep Dr. has clearly told me the amounts I can safely do (and don't even do that much). SOOOOO.....Of course not anyone that is a recovering addict as per worries of a relapse, but how many are actually doing pain med’s or calming med's thru this? My sons and man had to fight with me to actually use them a bit more rather than suffer "YOU (knowing me) will NOT get addicted, stop suffering!” A small part of me still worries that I may have to do some of them from now on, yet I also feel...WHY suffer if they can help? So folks…..how many really do need other med’s to help get thru this?
               Thanks for listening to my ‘out there’ long babbling post :}, to anyone who didn’t give up and quit reading 10 minutes ago :}
                                                                                                LL

[nygirl7]

I am a recovering addict who found that they did need meds to get through a rough course of 72 weeks of treatment.  Aside from Paxill and Ambien (which I am still on now) I did get a prescription for Percocet.  I did NOT take them every day for fear of dependence...I was very worried about that too.  I only took them when I really needed them.

I found that taking the Percs for actual tx type pains was very much different for me than taking for "fun" or from being addicted.  Maybe it is because I am much older, maybe it was because I was really so damn sick.  

Would anyone in the program advise doing that? Oh my hell no. I remember when they told me I shouldn't have novacaine when I was having dentistry done. But believe me, nobody is giving me a root canal without it.

I think everyone differs - and it'd be up to the person involved to know where their head is it.  However, I have no desire to go back to that vomit ever again, so I just tried to be rational.

I'm a dress up professional too - my shrink called me a "functional" addict because nobody around me could tell by looking at me when I was still using on a daily basis however - I knew and was always paranoid and miserable.  I just don't want to do that ever again.

Good luck LL - we're here for you you know!

[Lady Lauri]

I LOVE hearing anyone quitting, staying clean :} Good and especially thru such very tough times you have had. Your quite amazing, you know....fighting, WINNING :} the hep fight AND beating addiction AND dealing with your loss. Quite amazing, young lady:}!
I may need to clarify that I when I said 'dressed up bus. woman and noone would believe I do what I do' , I meant the going into crack town at 4:00am or chasing crack dealers across a street with a club thing! Also ....that when I 'tried' all the drugs, that was it, tried it "oh that was fun" and never got addicted to anything (but d*m cigs!).  But have known so many 'lost' in it all.
As for 'trying' the heroin a couple times, I do remember I said to myself "these fools PAY to throw up and itch"?? LOL! Very unusal to have done all I did and not get hooked on anything, tho.
Like you'd said, that is WHY I am so careful with any med's. I just don't see how some do this and get thru it without some help??!!
--------------------------------------------

  You said...."Good luck LL - we're here for you you know! "

I know that :} and it is a great comfort :}, thank you

  P.S. And again......CONGRATUALTIONS Hep free girl :)                              LL

[GrandmaA]

Didn't have time to read your entire post. Glad you found this great forum.

I had about 12 vials of Procrit on tx. (51 weeks Peg/riba).  My white blood count got down Iow towards the end of tx. but I toughed it out. I can't take antidepressants but Dr. Zhang suggested a herbal.  I took Ativan to help me sleep. I'm 65 years old. This is my first time treating. Genotype 1a. I worked full time 9 hours a day at a desk job for 33 weeks then I retired. I got hep. C from a blood transfusion iin 1977 following surgery. I started with a viral load of 640,000. Finished tx 5 weeks ago. I

[susan400]

I'll send you a private message on your message place and/or email......   So, look for me there...

Susan

[Teufelhunden]

Loved the axe handle part! That'll really wear them out!!  Get their attention too!  My preference though is a ball bat. Don't have any guns in the house but got a couple louisville sluggers by the night stand. It's despairing to see what drugs do to our society, both legal and illegal. I remember when drinking coke and taking aspirin was the thing to do (although I could never understand what it was suppose to do) and fast forward to today where selling legal drugs illegally is the norm. What addiction does to young people is frightening and sad. We hear and see the results of abuse and addiction in virtually every town and city but what really amazes me is how a kid of 16 growing up in a small town of 4 or 5 thousand cannot be noticed. We, as responsibile adults, have grown complacent over the years. We've become hardened and lackadaisical and we find it's easier to turn a blind eye.  "Kids will be kids" might have worked many years ago but in todays society, "kids will be addicts or dead" without people like you Lady Lauri. Too many kids falling through the cracks and no one there to reach out and grab them. They need a chance to grow up.  Keep up the good work.

[l-horn]

Hang in there. First of all, why wouldn't you do AD's ? They don't get you high and for me, they worked and continue to work wonderfully. I think I would prefer them over xanax if I were worried about addiction. So glad to hear your life is back on track and you continue to help others.

Now, about those little things called 'paragraphs' ...

:)

[froggydan]

Interesting discussion indeed...Its shure that as a recovering addict I had also to think twice before asking for stronger pain killers than paracetamol..Ihad some very strong migraine-headaches one or two days following rhe shot so after 3 months of pain I finally decided to take some, only for these days - and I stay vigilant not to take more than I need , cauz I know that my body doesn't make a diffrence between drugs I took for lets say "pleasure" (thats what I first thought) and "real" medication ...As I said it once in a meeting this decision is between me and my HP and my sponsor .Doctors unfortunately not often really understand what one addict risks in taking AD or painkillers like that without reflexions - its okay maybe with non-addicts i don't know. But i'm happy and feel grateful to have a strong fellowship to believe in and needn't any other AD's or so, here in France "normal" people take so easily tranquilizers or sleeping-pills like it were smarties that I was very careful in what my doctors would suggest to me,although they knew my past. (only my 2 cents) Have all a cool week-end ! hugs

[Lady Lauri]

                          
Please, please, please understand....I was never 'addicted' to anything, drugs or alcohol (now cigs another story).......that was to point out that I had done the 'try it, oh that was fun, gotta go' thing in my teens. I was EXTREMELY blessed to never have had any of it grab and hold me! I guess in summation, I am saying having seen it all, fighting it, hating that world that now that I may-do 'need' some med's that can be addicting, I am being very careful and wanted to find out how many of us also need/use them to help thru this.

I-HORN...."Now, about those little things called 'paragraphs' ".... your funny:}   I have tried the &^%$ paragraphs, all still lines up the same. SO..... I space like this ???:}
And  don't like AD's as they are something you have to do every day, not 'as needed' and worry on the altering brain chemicals, etc. Seen a few friends have bad exp. with them & have heard many bad things on them, along with good, but heard many bad things on our tx and here I am:} I have not ruled them out in this tx tho.

TUEFELHUNDEN......Thank you sir, you got it very well!  So agree with you, parents now seem to say "oh ,they'll learn on their own" and have NO clue how fast this stuff grabs them. I have 'before and 4-5 mths. later' pics of 'kids/adults on crack/meth.....horrifying changes and have seen sweet young ones end up walking the street doing...anything....in such a short time. I live by Carroll O’Conner’s words "never give up" on saving someone. Personally.....I could never lay down if my son was out there doing this and wouldn't until I found him, no matter what the cost, time, tears. They CAN be saved.....and one of my sons was the "GQ' kid in that story!  ( knowing me, what I do...HOW stupid was he, LOL!)  He was 'helping' a 'lost soul' AT FIRST , 'tried' it, I caught it and stopped at NOTHING for 3 mths. and saved him. Been over 2 years. I caught it EARLY, so very important in this. (cute tho, during this , the NOT street smart kid went to a dealers house, who already had his picture :} and the dealer said to him " Nuh uh boy, you can't come here, Yo momma is crazy...git, git!" My son called me to get him and never returned :) He has now 'lectured' friends himself. They NEED guidance!
P.S. You do realize that in the day of that coke and aspirin thing, there was actual cocaine in that coca cola, right :} ??
Thanks ALL for input.          

[Lady Lauri]

God, I talk a lot! You'd think I was on meth! starting to beat out some of the other long posters by a mile.   Sorry! :}                                        LL

[merryBe]

I don't think it's reasonable to assume you will become dependant again later in life if you've been straight for dozens of years.
there's a place for everything. when I use something for pain, it's not everyday, it's seldom more than twice, and it's ONE pill at at a time....to buffer the worst persistant pain, it's not to get high. the doc said take 2 ...4 times a day....that would be 8....and leas to dependance.
but your own fear of abuse will keep you from overusing stuff.
I also have ativan, and use it 2 times a month or so, for stressful breathing times that happen with no cause or forewarning.....the more stress you put on heart/lungs/liver.mind by not thaking something to help when you really need it, the more chance you  will injure further those organs, or rnd up in emergency or worse.
you sound like a very thoughtful person, so just think all this stuff through too and you'll be fine.

getting through. take your shot on friday, so by monday any nausea will be gone. try to rest weekends. then, I'd get up and take my riba with food a couple hours before I get up, and go back to sleep. that way if you get fever,pain, it'll be early before work..and while getting reaady, and maybe gone by the time you hit the workplace.
evening, eat early dinner and take. then for sleep, if you have trouble, again, a lot of folks NEED help sleeping on riba and rest is SO important....try ambien as it is not known for dependance like many are. hope that helps/
ask yourself this, if your child were badly hurt or sick...would you want them to have meds to help? then why fear that for yourself? there's a huge difference between legitimate medical need, and recreational use. you need to give yourself permission to make those decisions not based on the past but what's happening in the present.

[Lady Lauri]

I have NEVER been addicted to ANYTHING! BUT nicotine! My past 'drug use' was ONLY young, dumb teenage experimentation. Where I was trying to go with that post (and just got into the story of SEEN that drug world, help fight it, etc.) is I wanted to know how many are really, truthfully using other med's to deal with all this. I guess, having TRIED drugs young, than seeing so many hurt by them, I am extremely cautious when using any prescribed med's. I guess I should not have combined the 'anti drug fighting' part with the real question. Has been confused. (I had said I was very blessed to have tried them and never gotten into them-addicted. ) It is very easy to get dependant on prescribed meds and seen it with my sis (very sick). I just hate taking much of anything but have come to where you'd said.....they are needed and why suffer more. My family was reassuring me that I am not an addictive type person and too strong in that and stop worrying about taking med's. Guess I just wanted to know how many else need that extra help right now and what about ones that do have past addiction histories.
Like you, I do 1 when it says 2 as if it works, why take 2? Takes the edge of , I'm happy. Trust me, after about 5 nights of up till 5am, I did the pill to sleep!
I do my shots on Tues. as I am 'off' work Tues., Wed., Thur. (the one I have to be at, my own work I am the boss!) don't get fevers from the pill's, just all over feel like dog doo!
                                                                                                LL

[ladybug52]

My brother is in recovery and has been clean for 11 years. However, he takes zanax  at night and sometimes during the day.  It helps him to sleep, and calms his nerves at times when he used to drink and not stop. Addiction runs high (no pun intended) on both sides of our families.
I take A/D's and had to try a few to find one that worked. I am much happier on a/d's and the people who have to live with me are also:)
I did take pain meds on some shot weekends, I never throw away pain meds when they're prescribed, and if I needed something to help with the muscle aches, pain and fever, I took it. I felt that what ever could get me through tx was ok as long as I used it conservatively. I quit taking ambien because it's too strong for me and I had the weird side of eating anything in sight while I could still stand.
I loved Teuf's comments about small towns and kids using drugs. I think many parents turn a blind eye hoping that it will go away by itself and it's a normal part of growing up. Often they want their kids to be happy or popular and still able to play sports. That's the way it is here many times. I mean there are always kids who use and no one notices because they don't have an involved family. That's sad, but when there are many kid's with an involved parent who just won't set limits.
Enough of my soap box.....
Good luck with this tx. I know many strong people suffered a lot without meds, but I did what I could to get through. Oddly enough my worst side was the itching. Nothing relieved it till I got a steroid shot post tx.
Take care,
hugs,
Bug

[Lady Lauri]

Thanks for you thoughts. Believe me, learning fast to use the med's as this is a B*TCH! (as I am starting to be.LOL)
Loved Tuefs post too as he really got what I was saying/do. My sons....even at 23, 24 & 30 ...they know I am flies on sh*t if they start down any bad road at ANY age and momma dosn't play fair :}They have turned out much like me, in that they tend to 'watch over' partying friends, try to help also. I can't count how many other kids 'grew up' at my house or how many I chased after, watched over while their parents had NO idea where they were or just let them run with that 'oh, they'll grow out of it' attitude! (AKA....too d*m lazy and lack of concern to get up and DO something about it!) Had 2 legal 'foster kids' also, from parents that just didn't care. Nothing erks me more than a parent who is NOT a parent! And nothing please's me more than a naive, non street smart (dumb type :) parent that comes asking me to help find thier kid! At least they WANT to help. Just don't know how any parent can sleep with a young kid out on the streets doing drugs. When it was one of mine, I never stopped looking and found him everytime. WHERE would he be had I not? (he wasn't a street smart kid! they'd have eaten him alive).
I better shut up or it'll get long again :}
      Feel good, LL

[Lady Lauri]

Just a 'laugh' note on the 'non street smart (sorta dumb..) parents. You have to teach them!
" Oh, he said he needed $150.00 for a field trip at school and he hasn't come back for 2 days". Or the sweet, sweet mom....her son fighting crack...." We had his birthday party and he went to the store and hasn't come home"....."well, what did you give him for his birthday"....."oh, $200.!"
NO, NO, NO, honey, you don't give the kid CASH at ANY time" ! "OH, we never thought of that."
(of course they also hadn't thought on her check book that was in thier car that he 'borrowed'.
Gotta love 'em, but teach them TOO.
                                             Nite, LL

[Forseegood]

Geeeez, what a story! good on you for all the work you do, we could exchange tales for sure...I was with a radical animal rights group and we used to steal away animals that were being tortured (we'd have to have evidence, check it out, warn people to stop, and only on seeing the torture go on - after our warnings - we'd act....

these animals fell through the cracks of animal control, so we were the only chance they had) crawling into psycho back yards and untying animals, running away with them in tote bags and cat carriers, etc or leashes at 5 in the morning, thinking we might be shot or whatever...but we saved lots of tortured animals...it got too nerve racking, so I got out of that sort of animal rescue...I was also a volunteer drug and alcohol counselor for a bit...so wow, don't have the hide you have, not by a long shot, but I sure can relate to what you do...I hope you get the help you need and deserve...best to you....

[nygirl7]

I'm addicted to those da*n cigs too.  No matter WHAT I do.........ah they've got me by the tail. The monkey on my back. That, by far, is one of the hardest things in the world to control....ugh.  Hate those suckers but love them too.

[nygirl7]

PS don't worry - we got that you were never addicted to anything - we addicts tend to put everybody in our pool together ;)

[Lady Lauri]

  Whew..... I was running out of words to say...."I'm so dam lucky I never got addicted and use my exp. now to teach/NAG others! Glad ya' got it! LOL How ironic, also was a point in that I could try something like heroin, walk away and CAN'T from nicotine! Yes mam, they are the monkey on my back too, for years. Plus that ol'  'hate that they control ME' factor, h*ell, my dad, drugs and no man could ever 'control' me.....watch me jump when I'm down to one cig! :}
Forseegood, ya may not believe this:}.....but me too on the animal saving! Knew we had to have things in common! I never did the save from torture, testing ONLY as never ran across a facility or got word of one, but did a whole lot of 'animal stealing' from 'kill dog pounds' and so on. I had the whole set of keys to a pound in Colorado, never stole a thing but animals that were going down! On a regular basis my friends or 1 st son would go there, he'd stand at the back fence, I'd throw them over :}  I actually went into a crack house window and stole the dog they'd beat on, not feed and taken MANY from yards that were abused.  Had 28 dogs at one time, finding them homes. My sons dad walks in to see a bull mastif in the kitchen, hands me $20. , shakes his head and says 'I guess you better go buy more dog food!" As we speak, I have 2 needing homes :}
And you do have thick skin and b*ll's......you couldv'e gotten shot, went to jail.
( my only 'criminal record' is over dogs !!:}
And good for you on the counseling, REALLY wanted to put together a junior high school (best ripe age to get to them) program (many hoops to go thru to do this) of REALITY drug course. Before/after pics (teens are vain, show them what they can look like in a few mths., year on crack/meth!)  REAL recovered addicts that have much to offer as oppossed to some guy that got a degree and never smoked a joint! A re-hab in our 'affordable' list, not one in the building has ever smoked pot....they need people that speak FROM exp. I know people on crack now that would speak to help keep a kid away from  it all. And the sad reality is.......with crack...re-hab success if 5% and normally a waste of $. The highest % that quit for good are 'on thier own' !!
Uh oh...here I go again. I better find a 'drug help forum' and get back to Hep C.
  .............LL
                            

[chellski]

question:  did you guys smoke while on tx?  one thing i've never done - cigarette smoking...but can't imagine smoking when feeling so sick...jw....chelley

[nygirl7]

It's ok - we all get like this on treatment after we discover the forum...running at the mouth that is...but that is NOTHING uncommon for me, at all.  gosh some of us could write paragraph after paragrah about nothing at all - at least you have something to SAY!  :)

Chell = I can smoke thru pneumonia no problem, treatment whatever...the only time I couldn't smoke was after I fell and my rib went thru my lung and I was in ICU with a chest tube in - pneumothorax was what they called it.  Unfortunately after 10 days when I got out I took the patch off and took a drag. Yup. NYGirl <<< No brains in her head. At all. Sick.

[Lady Lauri]

NYgirl.....your so kind :)

Chellski......ditto on what NYgirl said. I smoke thru everything, even pnemonia also! Everyone took my cigs, the second I was alone in the house, jumped in the car....RAN to the store, bought 4 packs and hid them! HORRIBLE habit. All while eating organic food, drinking wheatgrass, no drugs, doing yoga! Health nut that smokes...thats me! (hypocrite comes to mind :{....)
   Even going thru this tx, actually craving them MORE??
  Bought 'organic chemical free' cigs!! STILL crave a Winston with all those 300 (?) chemicals they add!
Cigs suck :{                                         LL

[nygirl7]

It's a horrible addiction (I am also addicted to coffee) and people that beat it well I don't know HOW they do it.   They suck so much but the more I think about them the more I want one! I'm smoking "ultra lights" full well knowing that means NOTHING and I might as well be smoking Camels but...you know I can con myself easily enough these days and keep saying that I'm going to quit any day when I"m really 'ready'.  Yeah...they'll be putting a marker over my head saying here lies a mother who loved her kids enough to do 72 weeks of tx but stupidly couldn't stop killing herself anyway.  OH I get so mad at myself and the tobacco companies!

But hey...I could be addicted to brownies too so for today - at least there's that!   ;)

[susan400]

I used to smoke, but gave them up about 12 years ago.  I drink 2 cups of coffee a day, now, but during treatment couldn't stomach even a cup of it.  But, I cannot seem to give up my sugar/chocolate addiction.  I am so bad, I'll give up a regular meal and/or cut out eating at lot for one of my meals, in order to feed my craving for chocolate and then, make myself do the treadmill, to try to burn off some of the chocolate.  And it's like, I really don't seem to be highly motivated to change it any, just like people are w/their smokes.  Same w/my certain shows on T.V.....I'm like if I know I'm not going to be here for the time frame that it's on, I'll set up my DVR to record them.  Fortunately, I haven't had a big weight problem...yet.    Anyway, we all have our vices, I think.     Susan

[Forseegood]

I agree, we do all have our vices...a big one of mine is trashy magazines, I used to be so holy about them too, I'd never read those! Now I'm buying 3 of them in line at Rite-aid...don't care who gives me dirty looks either...sometimes when I'm nervous about things, I read them and laugh about all these things that are happening to the stars, knowing much of it is made up anyway...and it's always good to know that movie stars have cellluite too...lol....I'M EVIL!!!!