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Anxiety & fear regarding potential HSV-1 infection
Hi,
I've posted questions to Dr. HHH and Terri and have gotten good answers. However my anxiety is getting the better of me again and I wanted to run this by the community as well.
I'm a 32-year old male. Recently had a session with CSW where she gave me unprotected oral and we also kissed using tongue. I'm worried about catching HSV-1. I also found out that the CSW has HSV-1 and gets outbreaks "about once a month" but did not have an obvious sore on the day. I myself was tested negative via IgG test 22 days post exposure.
Timeline:
6 days PE(post encounter): saw a doctor who said my chances to catch anything are low but ordered tests for chlamydia, gonorrhea
7-10 days PE: I start panicking about herpes, inspect my penis rigorously, when it got a little red I applied antiseptic liquid and tons of hydrocortizone. I also try to see inside my urethra for herpes lesions. My urethra starts to tingle and itch. This goes away in few days but is replaced by pain in the pelvic region and low pressure in urine stream. Prostate hurts when touched and also feels like it's constantly irritated, not relaxed.
11 days: see a doctor who thinks I've got UTI (but doesn't order tests), presses my lower stomach, which feels painful. Prescribes 5-day course of trimethroprim (160mg, 2/day).
12-14 PE: UTI & prostatitis type of symptoms start going away and disappear after taking the antibiotics. On evening of day 14 I go to do some outdoor activity with heavy clothing and my groin area is sweating a lot. I did not shower or wash afterwards.
Day 15: I notice two red patches on the tip of my penis (glans). I'm uncircumcized. There are no visible sores, blisters or any fluid coming, no pain, no itch. I was unable to get a swab done at this time. The patches were not raised, seem to be part of the skin rather than on top of it. I applied hydrocortizone 1% on the patches.
Day 16-17: I continue to administer hydrocortizone in the mornings and Bepanthen for the nights. On evening of day 16 patches look like they are recovering, day 17 gone.
No symptoms after this except a mild throat infection on day 23, which went away in less than a week.
The most worrisome symptom is the red patches that appeared on day 15. I can't seem to get past that and my mind keeps going in circles around this. Somehow I've convinced myself that it was herpes, especially because it can cause so different symptoms in different people. I'm afraid that it was a mild outbreak. I was unable to see a doctor but two doctors have told me based on my description it doesn't sound like herpes. They base it on the fact that it went away in 2 days and that it reacted favorably to moisturizer and hydrocortisone. I also realize that there is a lot of other things that could've caused it. I was on trimethroprim at the time. I had almost finished the meds when the rash appeared. I had also masturbated two days prior to relief the tension in my prostate. I did not feel like masturbating so I had to be quite rough. I might've damaged the skin. This combined with the sweating might suggest nothing than damaged skin reacting to sweat.
I have a regular partner and two kids so I think part of this is psychological. I've convinced myself that because of one stupid mistake I deserve to be punished. I have also noticed that quite many men get these symptoms (tingling, prostatitis) after regretting a sexual encounter and feeling extreme anxiety.
Nothing to do now but wait. I was planning to get tested at 12 weeks post exposure but I think I'll take one test at 8 weeks, the waiting is just killing me. And if I get a negative at 8 weeks, it would be encouraging result.
I've not kissed my wife or my kids since the incident. I have moved my toothbrush to the other bathroom. I wash my hands more frequently. Also no sex with wife but I fear how long I can keep this up before she starts to suspect. I just don't want to infect her with anything.
I have already gone through my confession in my head if I end up being positive. I am prepared to live with no sex for the rest of my life. I just don't want to lose my family.
I've posted questions to Dr. HHH and Terri and have gotten good answers. However my anxiety is getting the better of me again and I wanted to run this by the community as well.
I'm a 32-year old male. Recently had a session with CSW where she gave me unprotected oral and we also kissed using tongue. I'm worried about catching HSV-1. I also found out that the CSW has HSV-1 and gets outbreaks "about once a month" but did not have an obvious sore on the day. I myself was tested negative via IgG test 22 days post exposure.
Timeline:
6 days PE(post encounter): saw a doctor who said my chances to catch anything are low but ordered tests for chlamydia, gonorrhea
7-10 days PE: I start panicking about herpes, inspect my penis rigorously, when it got a little red I applied antiseptic liquid and tons of hydrocortizone. I also try to see inside my urethra for herpes lesions. My urethra starts to tingle and itch. This goes away in few days but is replaced by pain in the pelvic region and low pressure in urine stream. Prostate hurts when touched and also feels like it's constantly irritated, not relaxed.
11 days: see a doctor who thinks I've got UTI (but doesn't order tests), presses my lower stomach, which feels painful. Prescribes 5-day course of trimethroprim (160mg, 2/day).
12-14 PE: UTI & prostatitis type of symptoms start going away and disappear after taking the antibiotics. On evening of day 14 I go to do some outdoor activity with heavy clothing and my groin area is sweating a lot. I did not shower or wash afterwards.
Day 15: I notice two red patches on the tip of my penis (glans). I'm uncircumcized. There are no visible sores, blisters or any fluid coming, no pain, no itch. I was unable to get a swab done at this time. The patches were not raised, seem to be part of the skin rather than on top of it. I applied hydrocortizone 1% on the patches.
Day 16-17: I continue to administer hydrocortizone in the mornings and Bepanthen for the nights. On evening of day 16 patches look like they are recovering, day 17 gone.
No symptoms after this except a mild throat infection on day 23, which went away in less than a week.
The most worrisome symptom is the red patches that appeared on day 15. I can't seem to get past that and my mind keeps going in circles around this. Somehow I've convinced myself that it was herpes, especially because it can cause so different symptoms in different people. I'm afraid that it was a mild outbreak. I was unable to see a doctor but two doctors have told me based on my description it doesn't sound like herpes. They base it on the fact that it went away in 2 days and that it reacted favorably to moisturizer and hydrocortisone. I also realize that there is a lot of other things that could've caused it. I was on trimethroprim at the time. I had almost finished the meds when the rash appeared. I had also masturbated two days prior to relief the tension in my prostate. I did not feel like masturbating so I had to be quite rough. I might've damaged the skin. This combined with the sweating might suggest nothing than damaged skin reacting to sweat.
I have a regular partner and two kids so I think part of this is psychological. I've convinced myself that because of one stupid mistake I deserve to be punished. I have also noticed that quite many men get these symptoms (tingling, prostatitis) after regretting a sexual encounter and feeling extreme anxiety.
Nothing to do now but wait. I was planning to get tested at 12 weeks post exposure but I think I'll take one test at 8 weeks, the waiting is just killing me. And if I get a negative at 8 weeks, it would be encouraging result.
I've not kissed my wife or my kids since the incident. I have moved my toothbrush to the other bathroom. I wash my hands more frequently. Also no sex with wife but I fear how long I can keep this up before she starts to suspect. I just don't want to infect her with anything.
I have already gone through my confession in my head if I end up being positive. I am prepared to live with no sex for the rest of my life. I just don't want to lose my family.
What was I rambling, the friends are coming over in a few hours, not tomorrow :)
Argh, I should have been smarter and booked the counseling weeks ago. I'm feeling the anxiety creeping up a bit but still not as bad as before.
I guess my main fear is still that I had a rash with tiny weeping cuts on my penis. Although my doctor said wounds resulting from herpes would be more painful and wouldn't heal so quickly (mine healed in couple of hours) I have trouble letting go. I guess that's where the counseling will help.
Also I'm having trouble accepting no need for further testing. I don't trust the 7 week results to be conclusive...
Oh well, I'll talk with my doc on Monday. Back to my weekend routine it is. Having some friends come over tomorrow, which is good.
I guess my main fear is still that I had a rash with tiny weeping cuts on my penis. Although my doctor said wounds resulting from herpes would be more painful and wouldn't heal so quickly (mine healed in couple of hours) I have trouble letting go. I guess that's where the counseling will help.
Also I'm having trouble accepting no need for further testing. I don't trust the 7 week results to be conclusive...
Oh well, I'll talk with my doc on Monday. Back to my weekend routine it is. Having some friends come over tomorrow, which is good.
Ok I've booked a meeting for next Monday. I will see a doctor and ask to be referred to counseling.
I also want to discuss the rash with the doctor and ask opinion based on my pictures. I'm still afraid of herpes because the rash had those ulcers that were weeping clear fluid.
I explained the symptoms to my doctor again on the phone and doctor did say that it would be highly unusual for herpes ulcers to be so small that you can barely see them and heal so quickly that they were gone when I saw the doctor (less than 24 hours since noticing the rash). She says she still sees no reason for more testing.
I think the counseling will be best route for me. I've been feeling pretty good, only occasional worry & fear over my situation, not debilitating like before.
I also want to discuss the rash with the doctor and ask opinion based on my pictures. I'm still afraid of herpes because the rash had those ulcers that were weeping clear fluid.
I explained the symptoms to my doctor again on the phone and doctor did say that it would be highly unusual for herpes ulcers to be so small that you can barely see them and heal so quickly that they were gone when I saw the doctor (less than 24 hours since noticing the rash). She says she still sees no reason for more testing.
I think the counseling will be best route for me. I've been feeling pretty good, only occasional worry & fear over my situation, not debilitating like before.
Okay, it's been about two weeks since I got my 7 week negative test results. I've been feeling mostly OK but sometimes anxiety has still reared it's head. I've not booked a counseling meeting yet, which I admit has been a mistake. Well, today I left a callback request for my doctor. She will call me on Thursday.
I still sometimes have this suspicion that I have herpes but it's not as bad as it used to be. I've had no genital symptoms since the rash in the beginning of August. I've had a few cases of pimples or folliculitis on my upper lip border but I assume they are related to shaving and since they go away in a day or two I doubt it's oral herpes. Plus they have been so tiny that I doubt anyone else but myself has even noticed anything. Also none of the herpetic symptoms like pain or itching, tingling or any of that.
Today has not been the greatest day. While on the computer, I accidentally stumbled upon some of the photos of the penile rash I took. I have consciously avoided looking at the pictures or searching online for information ever since I got my 7 week negative test results. Seeing those photos ignited some fear in me again.
So here's my plan: since the doctors who have been treating me were not aware that my rash had weeping ulcers, I shall book a meeting with my doctor (when she calls this Thursday) and discuss the rash, show the pictures, and ask for their opinion based on this new information. The time when I showed the rash, I forgot to take the pictures with me and forgot to mention the tiny weeping ulcers on the rash on the previous night. In the morning at the doctors, they were healed so they only saw the red rash without weeping wounds.
At the same meeting, I will ask that she refers me to counseling.
I would feel a lot more confident if I hadn't had that ulcerous rash in the beginning of August. I just feel like I should have another test at say 16 weeks for confirmation. Well, I'll see what my doctor makes of the photos on Thursday and if based on that she will recommend any further testing. I think the counseling will also do me a world of good.
With all said, I've been feeling mostly well during these past few weeks. I've not browsed online for STD information, not tried to diagnose the rash but instead I've gone back to my usual routine: spend time with the kids, play some computer games, write some music, watch some movies etc. I've also been able to concentrate at work and I haven't had any anxiety attacks anymore.
I still sometimes have this suspicion that I have herpes but it's not as bad as it used to be. I've had no genital symptoms since the rash in the beginning of August. I've had a few cases of pimples or folliculitis on my upper lip border but I assume they are related to shaving and since they go away in a day or two I doubt it's oral herpes. Plus they have been so tiny that I doubt anyone else but myself has even noticed anything. Also none of the herpetic symptoms like pain or itching, tingling or any of that.
Today has not been the greatest day. While on the computer, I accidentally stumbled upon some of the photos of the penile rash I took. I have consciously avoided looking at the pictures or searching online for information ever since I got my 7 week negative test results. Seeing those photos ignited some fear in me again.
So here's my plan: since the doctors who have been treating me were not aware that my rash had weeping ulcers, I shall book a meeting with my doctor (when she calls this Thursday) and discuss the rash, show the pictures, and ask for their opinion based on this new information. The time when I showed the rash, I forgot to take the pictures with me and forgot to mention the tiny weeping ulcers on the rash on the previous night. In the morning at the doctors, they were healed so they only saw the red rash without weeping wounds.
At the same meeting, I will ask that she refers me to counseling.
I would feel a lot more confident if I hadn't had that ulcerous rash in the beginning of August. I just feel like I should have another test at say 16 weeks for confirmation. Well, I'll see what my doctor makes of the photos on Thursday and if based on that she will recommend any further testing. I think the counseling will also do me a world of good.
With all said, I've been feeling mostly well during these past few weeks. I've not browsed online for STD information, not tried to diagnose the rash but instead I've gone back to my usual routine: spend time with the kids, play some computer games, write some music, watch some movies etc. I've also been able to concentrate at work and I haven't had any anxiety attacks anymore.
I also want to thank you for the comments you have made in this thread. They were helping me to cope. Take care!
I am glad you are feeling better. This situation took the past 6 months of my life. I had so much anxiety and I haven't started moving on until this past week. This forum and following your posts have changed everything for me. I want to thank you and Grace for helping me through this. Best of luck to you!
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You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
