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Anxiety & fear regarding potential HSV-1 infection
Hi,
I've posted questions to Dr. HHH and Terri and have gotten good answers. However my anxiety is getting the better of me again and I wanted to run this by the community as well.
I'm a 32-year old male. Recently had a session with CSW where she gave me unprotected oral and we also kissed using tongue. I'm worried about catching HSV-1. I also found out that the CSW has HSV-1 and gets outbreaks "about once a month" but did not have an obvious sore on the day. I myself was tested negative via IgG test 22 days post exposure.
Timeline:
6 days PE(post encounter): saw a doctor who said my chances to catch anything are low but ordered tests for chlamydia, gonorrhea
7-10 days PE: I start panicking about herpes, inspect my penis rigorously, when it got a little red I applied antiseptic liquid and tons of hydrocortizone. I also try to see inside my urethra for herpes lesions. My urethra starts to tingle and itch. This goes away in few days but is replaced by pain in the pelvic region and low pressure in urine stream. Prostate hurts when touched and also feels like it's constantly irritated, not relaxed.
11 days: see a doctor who thinks I've got UTI (but doesn't order tests), presses my lower stomach, which feels painful. Prescribes 5-day course of trimethroprim (160mg, 2/day).
12-14 PE: UTI & prostatitis type of symptoms start going away and disappear after taking the antibiotics. On evening of day 14 I go to do some outdoor activity with heavy clothing and my groin area is sweating a lot. I did not shower or wash afterwards.
Day 15: I notice two red patches on the tip of my penis (glans). I'm uncircumcized. There are no visible sores, blisters or any fluid coming, no pain, no itch. I was unable to get a swab done at this time. The patches were not raised, seem to be part of the skin rather than on top of it. I applied hydrocortizone 1% on the patches.
Day 16-17: I continue to administer hydrocortizone in the mornings and Bepanthen for the nights. On evening of day 16 patches look like they are recovering, day 17 gone.
No symptoms after this except a mild throat infection on day 23, which went away in less than a week.
The most worrisome symptom is the red patches that appeared on day 15. I can't seem to get past that and my mind keeps going in circles around this. Somehow I've convinced myself that it was herpes, especially because it can cause so different symptoms in different people. I'm afraid that it was a mild outbreak. I was unable to see a doctor but two doctors have told me based on my description it doesn't sound like herpes. They base it on the fact that it went away in 2 days and that it reacted favorably to moisturizer and hydrocortisone. I also realize that there is a lot of other things that could've caused it. I was on trimethroprim at the time. I had almost finished the meds when the rash appeared. I had also masturbated two days prior to relief the tension in my prostate. I did not feel like masturbating so I had to be quite rough. I might've damaged the skin. This combined with the sweating might suggest nothing than damaged skin reacting to sweat.
I have a regular partner and two kids so I think part of this is psychological. I've convinced myself that because of one stupid mistake I deserve to be punished. I have also noticed that quite many men get these symptoms (tingling, prostatitis) after regretting a sexual encounter and feeling extreme anxiety.
Nothing to do now but wait. I was planning to get tested at 12 weeks post exposure but I think I'll take one test at 8 weeks, the waiting is just killing me. And if I get a negative at 8 weeks, it would be encouraging result.
I've not kissed my wife or my kids since the incident. I have moved my toothbrush to the other bathroom. I wash my hands more frequently. Also no sex with wife but I fear how long I can keep this up before she starts to suspect. I just don't want to infect her with anything.
I have already gone through my confession in my head if I end up being positive. I am prepared to live with no sex for the rest of my life. I just don't want to lose my family.
I've posted questions to Dr. HHH and Terri and have gotten good answers. However my anxiety is getting the better of me again and I wanted to run this by the community as well.
I'm a 32-year old male. Recently had a session with CSW where she gave me unprotected oral and we also kissed using tongue. I'm worried about catching HSV-1. I also found out that the CSW has HSV-1 and gets outbreaks "about once a month" but did not have an obvious sore on the day. I myself was tested negative via IgG test 22 days post exposure.
Timeline:
6 days PE(post encounter): saw a doctor who said my chances to catch anything are low but ordered tests for chlamydia, gonorrhea
7-10 days PE: I start panicking about herpes, inspect my penis rigorously, when it got a little red I applied antiseptic liquid and tons of hydrocortizone. I also try to see inside my urethra for herpes lesions. My urethra starts to tingle and itch. This goes away in few days but is replaced by pain in the pelvic region and low pressure in urine stream. Prostate hurts when touched and also feels like it's constantly irritated, not relaxed.
11 days: see a doctor who thinks I've got UTI (but doesn't order tests), presses my lower stomach, which feels painful. Prescribes 5-day course of trimethroprim (160mg, 2/day).
12-14 PE: UTI & prostatitis type of symptoms start going away and disappear after taking the antibiotics. On evening of day 14 I go to do some outdoor activity with heavy clothing and my groin area is sweating a lot. I did not shower or wash afterwards.
Day 15: I notice two red patches on the tip of my penis (glans). I'm uncircumcized. There are no visible sores, blisters or any fluid coming, no pain, no itch. I was unable to get a swab done at this time. The patches were not raised, seem to be part of the skin rather than on top of it. I applied hydrocortizone 1% on the patches.
Day 16-17: I continue to administer hydrocortizone in the mornings and Bepanthen for the nights. On evening of day 16 patches look like they are recovering, day 17 gone.
No symptoms after this except a mild throat infection on day 23, which went away in less than a week.
The most worrisome symptom is the red patches that appeared on day 15. I can't seem to get past that and my mind keeps going in circles around this. Somehow I've convinced myself that it was herpes, especially because it can cause so different symptoms in different people. I'm afraid that it was a mild outbreak. I was unable to see a doctor but two doctors have told me based on my description it doesn't sound like herpes. They base it on the fact that it went away in 2 days and that it reacted favorably to moisturizer and hydrocortisone. I also realize that there is a lot of other things that could've caused it. I was on trimethroprim at the time. I had almost finished the meds when the rash appeared. I had also masturbated two days prior to relief the tension in my prostate. I did not feel like masturbating so I had to be quite rough. I might've damaged the skin. This combined with the sweating might suggest nothing than damaged skin reacting to sweat.
I have a regular partner and two kids so I think part of this is psychological. I've convinced myself that because of one stupid mistake I deserve to be punished. I have also noticed that quite many men get these symptoms (tingling, prostatitis) after regretting a sexual encounter and feeling extreme anxiety.
Nothing to do now but wait. I was planning to get tested at 12 weeks post exposure but I think I'll take one test at 8 weeks, the waiting is just killing me. And if I get a negative at 8 weeks, it would be encouraging result.
I've not kissed my wife or my kids since the incident. I have moved my toothbrush to the other bathroom. I wash my hands more frequently. Also no sex with wife but I fear how long I can keep this up before she starts to suspect. I just don't want to infect her with anything.
I have already gone through my confession in my head if I end up being positive. I am prepared to live with no sex for the rest of my life. I just don't want to lose my family.
I've actually been feeling better today than I've felt in ages. I just got home with my daughter and we picked up milkshakes for the whole family on the way home.
I'm about to put some buns in the oven for supper. They're pre-baked so we didn't actually bake them :)
I've still got occasionally this voice in my head saying that I might have herpes but I've managed to keep it in control and I believe when I have a chance to talk to a professional I will be able to keep it this way. My main worry is still that I tested too soon (7 weeks) but then I just keep telling myself that I've got so many people, who know this subject better than me, telling me to let it go.
It will take time to fully heal from this but I actually feel like I've got my life back! Last night when I had free time I didn't search online for herpes information but actually continued to work on writing music and just browsing for news & stuff - back to my usual self. We also watched a movie with my wife. And I've started to smile again.
I'm about to put some buns in the oven for supper. They're pre-baked so we didn't actually bake them :)
I've still got occasionally this voice in my head saying that I might have herpes but I've managed to keep it in control and I believe when I have a chance to talk to a professional I will be able to keep it this way. My main worry is still that I tested too soon (7 weeks) but then I just keep telling myself that I've got so many people, who know this subject better than me, telling me to let it go.
It will take time to fully heal from this but I actually feel like I've got my life back! Last night when I had free time I didn't search online for herpes information but actually continued to work on writing music and just browsing for news & stuff - back to my usual self. We also watched a movie with my wife. And I've started to smile again.
best of luck working through this :) turn off the computer and spend time with the kids and keeping busy while waiting for that appointment. pick up a cooking with kids cookbook or something and make a total mess in the kitchen - just going shopping for aprons for you and the kids to wear keeps you busy. Anything to keep your mind off of this. physical activity helps as well as if you've been busy at work and withdrawn with worry, your family needs you back :)
I've been thinking about the advice given by my doctor, by you and Dr. HHH and I'm starting to accept that I don't need more testing.
My doctor was very specific on the phone today. She said you need to forget about herpes, it doesn't heal as fast as your rashes, the doctor who saw the rash did not think it was herpes, you don't need more testing.
This many people telling me I need to let it go is hard to ignore, so I will do my best to make it happen. You are right that even one false negative test would send me tumbling down from the cliff.
I don't want to end up like one of those guys I've seen here: conclusively tested negative but still won't let go.
Today has actually been the only day in a long while, that I've felt something else than fear and despair. I want to hold on to these positive feelings and not get caught up in a self-feeding negative loop.
And I think the best way to do it is to seek counseling to offload all these feelings I've been carrying inside me for 7 weeks.
I made a mistake earlier in my life, when my wife got serious health issues after delivering our first baby. She was hospitalized and I was left alone with our baby and uncertain about our future. I decided to carry all that pain and fear inside me and not seek counseling. I was able to hold on for 2 months while she was recovering. I didn't speak to anyone, not even my parents about how I really felt. I just braced myself and kept going forward. But I swear I came very close to suffering a nervous breakdown.
These 7 weeks I've been feeling exactly the same that I felt back then, the same despair, the same fear.
I appreciate the support that everyone has given me during this hard time. You have made this at least a little bit easier to cope.
My doctor was very specific on the phone today. She said you need to forget about herpes, it doesn't heal as fast as your rashes, the doctor who saw the rash did not think it was herpes, you don't need more testing.
This many people telling me I need to let it go is hard to ignore, so I will do my best to make it happen. You are right that even one false negative test would send me tumbling down from the cliff.
I don't want to end up like one of those guys I've seen here: conclusively tested negative but still won't let go.
Today has actually been the only day in a long while, that I've felt something else than fear and despair. I want to hold on to these positive feelings and not get caught up in a self-feeding negative loop.
And I think the best way to do it is to seek counseling to offload all these feelings I've been carrying inside me for 7 weeks.
I made a mistake earlier in my life, when my wife got serious health issues after delivering our first baby. She was hospitalized and I was left alone with our baby and uncertain about our future. I decided to carry all that pain and fear inside me and not seek counseling. I was able to hold on for 2 months while she was recovering. I didn't speak to anyone, not even my parents about how I really felt. I just braced myself and kept going forward. But I swear I came very close to suffering a nervous breakdown.
These 7 weeks I've been feeling exactly the same that I felt back then, the same despair, the same fear.
I appreciate the support that everyone has given me during this hard time. You have made this at least a little bit easier to cope.
you need to let go of this. there's no need for any further testing. if you get a false positive next time then you'll just start being anxious even more about this all along with having to invest time and money into more expensive testing.
give your clinic a call and ask them to refer you to a therapist and make that appointment pdq. your money is far better spent there at this point than it is on more herpes testing.
give your clinic a call and ask them to refer you to a therapist and make that appointment pdq. your money is far better spent there at this point than it is on more herpes testing.
I know I should probably trust my doctor and stop testing but I just want to make it as sure as possible that I don't infect my partner with anything. It has been stated many times in these forums that 7 weeks is too soon for a conclusive test.
If I get no symptoms from now to 16 weeks it should be smooth sailing, and then I'll just pop in to the clinic, give some blood and get the results and accept them.
Needless to say I will take care of my hygiene regularly and will only look at my genitals while doing business in the toilet.
If I get no symptoms from now to 16 weeks it should be smooth sailing, and then I'll just pop in to the clinic, give some blood and get the results and accept them.
Needless to say I will take care of my hygiene regularly and will only look at my genitals while doing business in the toilet.
Grace, unfortunately I forgot to talk about the counseling with my doctor when she called. I was way too worked up at the time, as you can probably see from my posts before receiving the call.
I will definitely arrange it soon.
I will definitely arrange it soon.
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You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
