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Too much porn/masturbation cause ED?
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Avatar_m_tn
This is going to sound stupid, but why not take up or revisit a hobbie? Something that you really are into. Take a more intense interest in it now, bring it to some new depths and focus some of your free time attention on that. I think it would help give you another sense of accomplishment, other than the one you're currently undertaking, and it will help distract you from doing it. I personally think it's harder in the beginning because not only are we trying to stop P/M we're trying to break a set of patterns that we've established over time. It's like quitting smoking, so I'm told. It's not only the high they're leaving, but the taste and physical holding on to the cig, having one after dinner, or having one every time they get up, or after breakfast, or in the car on the way to work. To lose this action is to break many different patterns that surround that action, and I think in the beginning it's the hardest. But it gets a little bit easier everyday. So I'm concentrating on getting a new job, spending time with my girl, art, music and whatever. I think breaking the patterns and getting more into a hobby, something that adds to our lives and helps restructure it, is the way to go. Good luck and God bless.
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Avatar_m_tn
I'm "up" for the snuggling and smooching. Well I want to be, and that's why I'm here. Thanks :)
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Avatar_m_tn
After reading all the views , comments and experiences I too have decided to cut my curb for Masturbation and Porn ., hope to get back the power soon ...
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Avatar_m_tn
i have just started to stop watching porn. i started noticing that i couldn't get it up a long time ago. i instantly knew it was because of the porn and masturbation i have been doing. i seemed to only be able to get it up when watching porn so i thought...ok the real thing happens...and if naked woman turn me on...then when i have sex with my girl friend, i would be able to get it up. right? well...yesterday, me and my girlfriend went to have sex, and i couldn't seem to get it up. i am currently trying to find a firewall...cuz i also found out that I'm addicted to porn. so far i haven't watched any...but till then im going to have to buy some Viagra..
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Avatar_m_tn
i have just started to stop watching porn. i started noticing that i couldn't get it up a long time ago. i instantly knew it was because of the porn and masturbation i have been doing. i seemed to only be able to get it up when watching porn so i thought...ok the real thing happens...and if naked woman turn me on...then when i have sex with my girl friend, i would be able to get it up. right? well...yesterday, me and my girlfriend went to have sex, and i couldn't seem to get it up. i am currently trying to find a firewall...cuz i also found out that I'm addicted to porn. so far i haven't watched any...but till then im going to have to buy some Viagra..
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Avatar_m_tn
Its been 1 whole week now with no P or M. The no porn part as been easy but the no M part is starting to drive me a bit crazy! It was ok at the start but now I have a hunger for it. I'm just going to keep going back to this forum and read the posts then hopefully I can hold off. Could I just M once per week and still keep away from porn? Would this fix my ED? Or do I have to stay away from M and P altogether for 2 months?
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Avatar_n_tn
I get a pain in my testicles, tip of the penis and base of the penis when i ejaculate. Sometimes i can also feel the muscle behind my testicles cramp when i ejaculate. Anybody have this or know what it means?
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Avatar_m_tn
Day 1
Starting my PMO abstinence today.  I'm 20 and was having ED in my last relationship.  Think it might be porn related since I get my best erections when I view it.  Looking to hold out for at least 2 months.  After that no P and very little M.  I'll try to post updates.
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Avatar_m_tn
Guys, thanks for sharing all invaluable experiences of yours. It's been only 5days since I stopped all P/M, and there's some strange urge coming inside me to watch porn again, but it's still under control.

The thing that makes me worry is my porn addiction was really intensive and quite different from others.I been jerking off 1~3times a day over a decade. In the beginning, I only watched normal(?) porns, but by the time goes, I started seeking something more and more intensive.

Am too afraid I may not be able to fix my dopamine sensitivity.
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Avatar_m_tn
Guys, thanks for sharing all invaluable experiences of yours. It's been only 5days since I stopped all P/M, and there's some strange urge coming inside me to watch porn again, but it's still under control.

The thing that makes me worry is my porn addiction was really intensive and quite different from others.I been jerking off 1~3times a day over a decade. In the beginning, I only watched normal(?) porns, but by the time goes, I started seeking something more and more intensive.

Am too afraid I may not be able to fix my dopamine sensitivity.
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Avatar_m_tn
So is it possible to get back to where we need to be and cure porn induced desensitization?

I'm seeing improvements with slacking off on the masturbation at like 4 or 5 days at a time, but after reading some stories I'm wondering what exactly I'll see if I do the 8 weeks.

Some guys say even after 8 to 10 weeks of no M & P, and no orgasm, still are having problems keeping an erection when having sex.

I'm just wondering if the sensitivity will come back, if I'll be able to get an erection just from touch and not having to think about a sexy situation, if I'll last the whole time, etc.

As many of you already know, I'm a virgin in my twenties and finally decided to start experimenting and exploring sex  with my girlfriend, but screwed it up my first time and she left me. So I'm working with that on my mind.

I'm taking a year to get myself in order, lose 60 pounds, get in shape, finally buy a house to have my own place, update the wardrobe, etc. so I'm hoping that if I make changes in my life for the better and take above the regular time of 8 to 10 weeks and increase it maybe to 16 weeks or something, I'll be cured or at least on my way to being.

I'm worried that with all the stuff on my mind, if I'm going to get an erection, if I'm going to keep it throughout, if she's going to like having sex with me, if I'm doing it right, if I think I'm attractive, etc. I'm not going to be able to get an erection. If I knew that my body was going to react well to the situation and I get an erection, I wouldnt be as worried.
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Avatar_f_tn
Pisces

Hello guys. I have been reading this forum on and off for months hoping that it can give me some insight into my relationship with my boyfriend, and our sex life, or current lack of, and how to handle it.

We have been seeing each other a year now, he is 30 and I am 20. I myself didn't have any real scruples with porn before I found this forum, but I did always find it was an unhealthy obsession with most men I have been with and would sometimes affect them in a variety of ways, would definitely affect my/our sex life, and I always found it was more a routine than an impulse but I myself not being a man, I can only guess these things!

He watches porn on his smartphone almost every day when I am not at home (his monitor is broken, but I guess that doesn't stop some people). I would find this to be almost alright or at least be able to put it at the back of my head IF we ever had sex.
I am on the depo injection which I take every three months and I have to say I am due for another injection next week and we have only had sex around three or four times since my last injection! It barely seems worth it.
When he do have sex, it is almost like he is disconnected from me, or perhaps himself, and it only lasts a few minutes. Sometimes, he barely touches me, and rarely gives me any oral pleasure or any real attention down there. It makes me feel very unloved and well - plain insecure!

This all started around Jan or Feb this year and we have been together since July/Aug of last year. The sex we used to have was great and fun, and full of pleasure and affection but now I feel like he has replaced me with his porn.
The worst part is, which makes the situation even more complex than just P and O causing an ED or just plain lack of interest, is that I have seen the type of porn on his phone (in a typically feminine attempt for attention, I looked at the types of porn or the women in them for some closure/ideas) but what I found was fat porn, hairy women porn, BBW porn, some normal porn too but I constantly find that he is watching what I consider to be odd (apologies if I offend but that is only my opinion) and when he has his girlfriend, me, who is young, fairly attractive and an average size?
This I just find insulting, confusing and makes me question what he is attracted to. Or does it not matter in the world of porn? I am aware that not every guy wants someone who looks like porn star, etc, but this is something else.

Also I thought I might add that I have tried to bring up the lack of sex, and strange porn, but he descends further into himself with various excuses, almost like he is insulted when it is brought up and so I back off... I am not sure how to go about this.

Thank you for reading and I hope someone can give me some helpful advice and insight.
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Avatar_m_tn
When you have any addiction, the last person to find out how it is affecting the lives of the people he loves is the addict. Seems to me if he's giving excuses then he's in denial. But only because of the shame of it. If it was me, I'd just get him to read this forum and then ask him if he thinks your sex life would be better and whether he'd be happier without porn. If he's going to stop, he needs to want to stop and you need to find a way of getting him motivated to stop.

But this is just my opinion, I'm younger than yourself so I have less experience and this is pure advice. Let us know how you get on :)
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Avatar_m_tn
He's become a porn addict, and developed tolerance to whatever porn he long ago started with. Just as a drug user needs more of a substance to get high (as his brain grows number), today's Internet porn users may find they need more videos, or kinkier videos, or live chat to get the buzz their brain is desperately seeking. Paradoxically, this is because today's Internet porn is so much more stimulating and abundant than anything human brains have confronted throughout evolution.

This has nothing, repeat nothing, to do with you or your attractiveness. His brain has changed (structurally and biochemically). Some porn users escalate to what shocks, disgust, or causes anxiety. Why? Because strong emotions elevate adrenaline and dopamine, which increase activation of the brains reward circuitry. It's all about amount of stimulation and not about any particular genre of porn.

Google the following articles for a better understanding:
1)  Dating A Heavy Porn User?
2)  Losing at Porn Roulette
3)  Porn and Perception: Is Your Limbic Brain Distorting Your Vision?
4)  ‘Straight Men, Gay Porn’ and Other Brain Map Mysteries

good luck
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Avatar_m_tn
How to define whether you partner is addicted to porn or not? My hubby and I were married 6 years. The only real sex we had was when we dated each other but I found that he took viagra to have sex at that time. After we got married,we rarely could have sex since he had ED. His ED is from his heart mermer, plus he is taking 2 kinds of high blood pressure pills. I felt so hurt at the beginning before he told me he has this problem for a while. But since I love him, I really don't care his illness. I'd perfer to help him out with his problem.

     Then I found out that he would spend 3-4 hours looking at porns and have masturbation when he has a chance. If he gets to the computer, he will search porn websites. And whenever he stays home from work, he would masturbate for 2-3 hours at least. He said he had hard time erect because his job is stressful plus his illness. The reason why he likes to masturbate is because he can focus easiler and ejaculate easiler. He also said he did the masturbation for keeping the blood flow so that his penies don't get damaged. I don't know whether masturbation really does help the blood flow to the penies and I don't know his habbit watching porn is addiction or not. I am so confused and I felt hopeless all the time.

      For 6 years, I can't have one real sex. Whenever I want to have sex, he would have to watch the porn and when he got hard, he came to me, played a little bit, then intercourse, then ejaculated quickly.Even he took viagra, he still needed to watch porn first to get hard. He never approached to me and said he wanted me. I got so depressed all the time and I could only said to myself, he would be fine since he kept promised me that he would lose weight and changed his Job to get rid of the stresses. We've been discussed this topic for a long time but nothing has changed.And now, he refused to discuss it anymore since he said it's the same topic every month. I also suggested to see the doctor, but he said he saw them before and none of them helped. He said nothing can help for his problem and the only thing to keep his penis working is watching porn and masturbate more.

     Lately, I found he took pictures of teen girls' legs in the street. I asked him why he did that, he said that's for masturbatting and that's nothing. I really don't know what to do with this! I've been upset, cried and let him know how I feel ignored. He said he understood how I feel which I don't think so because he seems to live in his dream world. Sometimes he even got mad and screamed at me saying every men watch porns. I tried to understand his stress and his illness plus I do agree most of men watch porns.That's why I don't care when he wants to masturbate once a week. But he took pictures of teen girls' legs; whenever he gets to the computer,he would look for porn;wants to masturbate as much as he can and he even printed out girls pictures at work. For me, this is out of my limit.

      I felt so bad all the time and I don't know what to help him. I do love him so much since he is a very nice guy to me, plus his my first love. I cried  a lot for this, and now he is so impatient and saying I never understand him. What can I do?? Can anyone give me some suggestion for our relationship? I love him and I don't want to divorce him because he has his own problem. All I want is helping him to get to normal and live healthier. Any suggestion will be appreciated!  
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Avatar_m_tn
While it's true high blood pressure meds can cause sometimes ED, his ability to get an erection with porn indicates his penis is working..... but only when he recieves the right kind of "stimulation".  In essence he has a porn addiction, and his ED may be partly or completely porn related.

His need to "use porn and masturbate to keep his penis healthy" appears to be a smokescreen. Blood flows through all tisues, all the time. If it didn't the tisues would die.

You can Google Video - "Porn and Erectile Dusfunction" - and watch it on you tube. Also watch the companion video series - Your Brain On Porn: Porn Addiction.

If he's willing, get him to watch it. I feel for you. Only he can choose if he wants to stop using porn.
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Avatar_m_tn
I didnt believe it at first either, but now its happening to me...Im unable to keep it hard during intercourse and unable to get it up without watching porn. I dont watch anything extreme but I have noticed a change. How long does kicking the habit usually take before you notice conditions improving?
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Avatar_m_tn
I am also wondering how you can tell if things are actually happening/working. I have been PMO free for almost 3 weeks and realize this is going to take longer, but want to know what I should be looking for. (for some hope.) Mine is also rooted in depression and stress which I am also combatting. What a frustrating series of events.

To help you kick P another great site is www.xxxchurch.com, it works the moral side of the equation which is another elephant in the room.
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Avatar_m_tn
    Thank you very much for giving me your advise. I printed out the front page and the most recent replies in this forum for him to read yesterday. But he didn't read every single reply since he said it's the same thing.

     He told me he would try to stop it and see whether it works or not. But he also warned me, if he lost his ability to erect, it's my responsibility. Then i can't complaint we can't have a baby. He always said if he didn't masturbate for all these years, we can't even have a baby( My first boy was born in April this year). When he said that, I felt like having a baby is a job for him. He finished his job and that's it.

      Sometimes,when I felt so depressed, I felt like I wanted to give up this relationship. I even thought about having an affair just for sex. But this is not me:( Plus I have my son and I can't let him live without a dad. I wish sex and love can be seperated, then it maybe not that painful for both of us.

      By the way, he has morning wood sometimes, but just 40% erect, so is that mean his penis isn't that damaged?

      Thanks again for this forum, it helps me release some of my stresses for all these years. I really appreciate it! I will update how's everything going after he stops it.
      
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Avatar_m_tn
If you eventually make it to the site - yourbrainonporn - go to the FAQ's and the first question is:  Is my erectile dysfunction (ED) related to my porn use?

Everything is under that question. Lots of articles, storties, recovery accounts and what to expect. The problem is that once he stops he will enter a withdrawal period which may be quite uncomfortable. After one week he will likely enter a flatline period, where his libido drops and its harder to get an erection. If this happens it indicates porn is part of the problem.

I don't know anything about his overall health, or penis but there is a simple test outlined above in one of my posts. If he can get an erection with his favortie porn. and can't get a n erection when masturbating to ONLY sensation (no porn, no fantasy) then porn is the problem.

good luck
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Avatar_m_tn
WOW, am I ever glad to have found this forum. I thought I was the only one.  Im a hyper sexual 46 YO male. Im tall, big, athletic body, look 10 - 15 years younger than I am and have never had any problems getting laid when I wanted to. A few years back I was diagnosed with diabetes and shortly after I noticed I started to suffer from E.D. Of course my first thought was they are connected. They are but one is not mean its the cause of the other as Ive come to find out. Ive been to my DR. we have had the talk. Ya I need to quit smoking, That also can contribute. I have been M since I was 12 or 13 if I remember right and found porn shortly after.  Ive been M,O as much as 3,4,5 times a day and a minimum of 1 a day since. Of course there are days in there I didnt but you know what Im saying. The worse my marriage got the more porn I would watch. If my mood was up I would M, if it was down I would M, It didnt matter how or why after a while I just needed the oppurtunity. "normal" sex never did anything for me so I started to search out things I liked and went right down the rabbit hole. I have a super hot, younger than me, kinky girlfriend and if I dont have some help from a lil pill I cant get a hard on for nothing. I believe the reason is what Ive been reading here in these pages. Ive never said anything to anyone except my Dr about this and I want to say THANK YOU for letting me know Im not alone in this. I have a goal of no sex, M,P,O for 2 weeks and see what happens. This will be tough.....
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Avatar_n_tn
relapsed these past 3 days. pretty upset because i was noticing improvement. No more messing around...got a filter on my computer.
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Avatar_n_tn
relapsed these past 3 days. pretty upset because i was noticing improvement. No more messing around...got a filter on my computer.
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Avatar_m_tn
First, my dad and brother were diabetic. My dad - at age 80 was still having sex. He was 25 years diabeteic, 120 pounds overwieght, had smoked for 40 years , and had 2 toes amputated. In other words a lot of your problems could be porn related . Only one way to find out.

Second, in your ED is porn-induced, it will not resolve in 2 weeks. In fac, most men enter a flatlining, low libido period, starting week 2 and lasting for several weeks. You can see my above posy for the suggested link if want to really understand this problem.

Lets hope it's porn-related and not diabetes
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Avatar_m_tn
just an update on my progress. I hope it helps people. I'm on day 19 now. I caught a glimpse of a raunchy scene in a movie and I thought it might reduce the temptation if I posted about its effects on me. I didn't O, but I did M a bit. I'm now in a state of feeling really horny, but without a erection. I can get one even with pretty average fantasies, but it's like 60%. im feeling 110% horny though. I'm afraid that porn will start to feel like a good idea in my head, even though I know that's not true. But when I'm away from the computer, and temptation, I feel great. like i'm attracted to girls again, which is a bloody brilliant feeling. I'm also getting the occasional look and smile from girls in the street too. I don't want to waste that feeling on porn.
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Avatar_m_tn
I've been reading these posts for a little while now, i personally stopped about 2 weeks ago.  My biggest question would be, how can you possibly tell when you're better, without risking hindering the healing process. Do you just assume after 2 months you might be and give it a shot, or is it one of those "you just know" kind of things.
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Avatar_n_tn
I think what everyone needs to do is be patient. I have recovered from this before and lapsed back into the P/M, and it had a bad effect again. More recently though i've been off a month and i won't go back, it just isn't worth it anymore. What is the most important thing?

you have to be patient. Stop testing yourself. Your libido will dissapere for a while. How long i really don't know. Every person is different, but you just have to stay commited. IT WILL WORK!! Just promise yourself you'll never go back to P again.

Dont get discouraged if you find the P thoughts still there, regardless there still going to be cues for a while, even after you've recovered. Just get through them. One day your mind will reset itself. I know its tough, but if you constantly worry, and think, and test yourself constantly you'll be doing more harm then good.

Im sure you probably want to go out this weekend, or the next and talk to women, but your worried your not as aroused. You feel your missing out on life, like you can't go out. Its frustrating yes. Just accept the fact things aren't going to work this week, the next, maybe for several weeks. But don't let that get you down. If you stay commited sure in the short term its gonna be tough, but think long term, think 6 weeks from now, 2 months. When things start to look up. It will all be worth it. Just focus on the long term goal!
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Avatar_m_tn
hi. Not posted for a while. Have been a regular poster. Just letting you know i'm cured. Sex is great now, best ever. Beats porn. If a guy with one ball can beat this, you all can. It won't happen over night though.
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Avatar_m_tn
hi, i've posted earlier. i failed to quit M/P for longer than 2 weeks. that's why i've just installed this on my PC: http://www.opendns.com/ . It's very easy, free and it's not even a program that you have to install on your harddisk. USE IT NOW! I think this will makes things so much easier for us. it blocks all my favorite pornsites... so as off this moment i'm off for at least 2 months of total abstination (no P/M) and i will continue to exercice/run/fitness. LET'S DO THIS :D
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Avatar_n_tn
Thanks for the forum and all you guys who post here.  What a relief to find support and encouragement, as well as information.  I am in my 8th day abstaining from M/P/O.  I have had a P problem on and off, and maybe qualifying for addiction.  I am 63, M daily for many years, and unable to sustain an erection over the past year with real women, even beautiful 30-somethings that were crazy about me.  What a shame, eh?  I know my developing ED ruined at least two such relationships.  I still have great morning wood, and can achieve penetration (but not ejaculation inside).  Tried Levitra but it did not work very well, even at 20 mg.  I think/hope I need to reboot my brain from porn and rest my penis and brain for love orientation toward are real lover (who I now have and do not want to lose).  Hope I'm not too far gone.  Any ideas or similar experiences?  I will appreciate all the knowledge I can get.
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Avatar_n_tn
Hey all, really encouraging reading some of your personal stories. I'm 27, and I've routinely M and watched P on a daily basis for a long time now. Lately, I found that lately it's become really difficult to get fully erect and sustain it. It's sort of hit and miss, and in fact the last girl I was with, I had my most mediocre performance, and I didn't finish. I'm worried that if I keep going down this path, I could end up in a bad place. I'm going to stop cold turkey, and I deleted all my P yesterday. So this is officially day 1, and I'm going to try and stay off for at least 2 months. I'll check back in, and see how everyone else is doing.

Again, thanks to everyone for the information. Keep strong, fellers.

-Rod
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Avatar_m_tn
If the ED problem didn't show up until your 60s, remember that there is a good chance that aging may be a significant issue.  See a doctor might be a good idea.
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Avatar_m_tn
2 and a half weeks in now, funny little side effect of this process. Girls seem more interested in me now that im trying to fix this. No idea if that is just my incredibly poor luck, or if im just noticing it more without the P. Either way......the last 6 weeks are the hardest right....?
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Avatar_m_tn
this is tough. So I've been without P/M/O for three weeks now and last night I caved. It was difficult, but I was really horny, which was a GOOD thing as I haven't been for a long time. I also got a spontaneous erection yesterday, which was a surprise. So I lost it, but kept it to minimal P. I think the crux of this problem is the P and desensitizing of it. I've looked at P for a long time, (years) and although I don't think it's good, it's the internet variety that I think is the part that has really effected me. There is just so much in one place it's a hyper overstimulating effect that wears on you. When it was just magazines and movies it got you going, but you had to use your imagination more and it was mostly just pictures of naked girls. (remember those?) NOTHING like they have today which is pretty twisted. So I was watching a cheesy 80's movie last night that showed some **** and I was like, oh yeah, I like those and it got me on the wrong path, but I kept it to a cheesy movie or two and that was it. No Internet. No clicking through a million shots to find that "one" that's going to take you over the edge. Nope some cheesy, 80's boobs and a little imagination. So I lost it, I hope it doesn't set me too far back for ED recovery, but this is a process right? I don't believe we have to cut out all M for the rest of our lives, but the frequency and the way it's done I think probably have a big effect. Well I'm back on the wagon, and will continue on. Good Luck Guys, it is tough, but worth it as I'm noticing effects after a bit and will welcome more in the future.
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Avatar_n_tn
Thanks for the advice.  I plan to talk more with my physician about this.  My past ED he mainly attributed to age and possibly the blood pressure medication I take.  But, as I say the Levitra was only marginally helpful, even at the max dose.  Before going to see him, however, I intend to try the 90 day abstaining routine.  And, so far so good.  And, although porn was probably not the biggest part of my ED problem (I tend to think age and excessive masturbation was primary and porn secondary) I think that rebooting my brain for personal relationship figures in my case too.  Trouble is, I really cannot tell how much P and how much long-term M has played a role.  I'm sure I'll have more to report as my effort progresses, however.
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Avatar_m_tn
I am a 20 year old male about to turn 21. I have been involved in P and M since about the age of 14. Like many other confessionals on this forum what was once just a playful habit has turned into an addiction. I have gone 3 weeks without it but keep finding myself relapsing. This addiction has had a huge impact on my life and health as an adult and I have decided to give it up starting after this post. The hardest part I find about abstaining are they times where i happen to be at my computer and all of a sudden get really horny and I just cant seem to block out the urge to M which is almost always accompanied by P. Do you guys have any suggestions?
I also feel as though my addiction to P and M has effected my confidence level in being able to preform during sex. I know it will take lots of time to heal but it is dreadfully hard to imagine having to explain my condition to other woman who I find attractive and friends as well..
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Avatar_m_tn
Well I'm starting a serious run at the 8 to 10 weeks of abstinence and healing. I'm hoping it will fix all this.

I cant tell you how bad it makes me feel and how worthless I feel when I think that I may not be able to have sex with a woman. I mean sex shouldnt be everything but its some part of a relationship. I mean sex comes as a huge part of creating a bond with a woman, in making her attracted to you, in making her want to be around you.

What woman wants to be with a man who cant/wont have sex with her? How can she be attracted to you knowing that you cant fulfill her basic needs? She cant possibly look at you like someone she wants to be with if sex isnt in the picture.

I mean the last girl I was with I started out GREAT with. We flirted and we were together a few weeks and she was all over me all the time, calling me and talking to me and askign about my day, and wanting to hang out and her body language just told me she was super digging me. However the minute I told her I was having a problem with porn addiction and desensitization and that we'd be waiting to have sex for the foreseeable future, her attitude changed.

She acted distant. The phone calls slowed down. We didnt hang out as much. She didnt want me close to her. She didnt want to cuddle anymore, She made excuses why we couldnt get together for dinner. She didnt have that happy tone in her voice, that playfulness in her voice anymore when talking with me. It was like a business relationship.

Then out of the blue I just get a call saying she thought we should end it and that she was just not into having a relationship with me anymore. She said she just wasnt attracted to me anymore but insisted it wasnt because we werent able to have sex.

I know that was a lie because how can someone just totally switch gears like that? Women say sex isnt the end all be all and think men are pigs for having sex on their mind all time but its a smoke screen. Women have sex on their minds just as much, they just have higher standards and a set picture in their head how it should be. I mean have a close sister or a best friend who's a girl, believe me they think about sex just as much as men do.
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Avatar_n_tn
Hi to ALL,

My main language is not english, so please don't shoot me..
I'm not shure if my problems is about PMO adict, and I'm not shure if this is the right place to put my story.
I must to say, I'm 43 yrs, I'm very horny guy, and have PMO problem from 13-14, first with pics/magazines, later with VHS, and now with P Spice..
Have 3 wifes, the 2 was the best sexualy, she doing almost everything, swalling sperm, anal..Long story short, she become lesbi 100% and we broke up..sad..
When I meet her(second wife), I'm 24, and that night with all her comittment, I can't have any erection..and when come home at my wife(first), i have a biggest/hardest erection..:)This situation continued some weeks, and after, i can have sex normal with my future second wife..
In our relationship, we try make sex with another persons, first a guy, later with a a girl.With guy, I don't have any problem and can **** her both of us, but when come the girl i can;t have erection even my wife support me, doing oral sex and so, nothing to do..After the girl leave..I have a crazziest erection, and a super sex intercourse..I dont't know what to think..
Ok, these days my wife (third) have 43yrs, is very sexy 1,60/46kg, I'm 1,70/60kg :) and she is good at bed, I have no problems with erections with her.The "problem" if i can say that is she can not come in other position than "women on top", and in this position come in 30sec-2 min. max..I.m very relaxed about her pleasure...but I.m aware if this "performance" not make me to come too quiqly for others womens..
Our daily program with no joke..after we wake up (almost every day with a strog erection..), when I drink my cofee in bed, she give me oral sex..after that we make ~20 min sex misionary position for me to try training delay ejaculation..and after that i start jelquing exercises, and she help me to stay erect 80%, ..so our mornings is full of sex..
Last year, we decide to try swinging activities..till now we see 3 couples, but at every meet, I can not have any erection..and we meet couples between 20-46yrs..
With my wife i dont have problems to have erections, one problem I noticed, if i try to photo or measure the penis with a ruller, become immediately limp..
So, because I have almost every day,"morning wood"..I can, and I want all the time to make sex with my wife..and others womens if I have ocassion..I can come, and i think I come too quickly.. BUT..I can't have erections with other womens, even in the presence and with help of my wife..I wonder if this is cause from porn/masturbate adiction (addiction), or have another cause?
Because my symptoms is diferent like majority from here..I like real womens, I can have sex with my wife, and i can come..but i Masturbate 4-5 a day, at porn..now trying without ejaculation..but till now i ejaculate 4-5 times/day..
So is a chance to be caused by porn/masturbation, my problem? Or if is another cause what can be, and how can be cured? Because this situation last from my teenage..
Anyway, I have 1 week without PM, just little touches, my wife can-t stop to touch/kiss my penis in the morning..:)
Ok, thanks for reading, and thanks in advance for eventualy answers.
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Avoid the need to confess.  Generally speaking, new women friends won't understand.  If that means you'll have to avoid the women while you are abstaining for 90 days, or whatever, so be it.  A partner of 10 years might really want to help; a woman you are just getting to know will look elsewhere, if for no other reason than to avoid drama.
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Day 10 of abstaining from P/M/O is almost "in the bag."  I am wondering.  At what stages in the 90 day abstain. to various effect manifest themselves?  For example, diminished libido?  Has anybody tested recovery form ED by taking some Viagra at say, Day 40, just to see the result?  I wonder if that would be a good idea.
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Things have really began to turn around for me.  After suffering with this for a couple years.  Prayer, working out & acupuncture (in that order)  helped me recover.  Things really began to turn around for me after I began to see an acupunturist.  some of you may want to give it a try.  I noticed a difference the next morning (although it took more visits to have a LASTING improvement)  I admit it is still in the back of my mind & I am still terrified that I will have problems again but I dont m/b or watch porn at all anymore either.  Its been about 5 months since the last time. Just keep your heads up because this is NOT permanent.  You can come out of this.  If you have anything you would like to ask me about my experience just inbox me.  GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL!!!!!!      
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i am in a relationship with with a girl for the past 1 year. we are in a long distance relationship, i happen to have a  very tight schedule which makes it hard for me to visit her, so she visits me once in every 3 months. i stays for 20-30 days. everything seems normal except for the fact that we never had sex. Actually the things that i get normal erections when i masturbate, but whenever with her i am not erected enough. she says it doesn't matter but its something that i worry about? i have had sex earlier but i never faced this problem ,also this is my 1st relationship and i love this girl very much.. i just want to know whats the problem with me.
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I'm just wondering how will I know that my recovery is coming along well?

Will I notice a change in how my testicles and penis respond to touch?

Will I begin getting erections from just thinking of a hot woman or imaging a steamy scene or the best case scenario would be just being near an attractive woman and nothing more?

Will spontaneous erections become a semi regular thing?

Will I notice any other changes to myself? I assume that over a decade of continuous hormone, endorphine, and other chemical release may have been putting strain on other parts of the body. Will the new levels of various chemicals cause other changes? Deeper voice maybe? More energy? better mood? Things along that line?
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I noticed morning erections although not every morning. Spontaneous erections.  The ability to successfully finish sex CONSISTENTLY.  There was also some improvement in response to touch as well.  
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Ok cool thank you for the response Klueless!

I started my 8-10 week run today, also started a weight lifting/exercise routine to keep myself busy, I figure I'll do this until I graduate from college and see what kind of results I see. It cant hurt, I graduate in May and I hope after I finish up with all this I'll be ready for "fight day" as it were.

My goal is to lay off the masturbation, totally stop porn, exercise, tone up, finish school, then play the field and see whats out there with the "new me".

I'm excited to start this new chapter of my life. Just cant believe my life ended up here in the first place.

Anyway keep me in your thoughts and prayers guys. All help is appreciated.
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Guys it’s not porn, crack, or the ghost of Christmas past...it’s her! That's right, her...in all of her chunky (box shaped ***) glory...add to that loud mouth, lack of finesse, incessant demands that you PROVE that she made the right choice in (capturing and torturing) you, PROVE that you are blind to truly attractive women, PROVE that her diarrhea (anal and verbal) does not stink, ad nausea…Face it men! SHE is the reason-the ONLY reason-you can’t get it up (get it up for her) anymore. Give yourself a chance, and you’ll discover that you have no problem ‘getting it up’ for a woman – that you desire…
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Hi everyone

same thing here I have been M + P for prolly 20+ years, I am 35 tomorrow, and have had a string of sucess and not much success in my bedroom antics. For a long time I was not sucessful wit girls so all I had was P and M, this as I now know, as everyone says here, has realigned my sexual expectations such that when I have the real thing. The worst time was when have a girl in my bed begging for it, offereing to do all sorts of stuff I liked in porno's, and despite being hard i could not feel much sensation and proceeded to go soft.

I have had some successes where i have felt horny throughout the day, leading up to it, and then have gotten to it and its felt oh so good. But recently I have found I have not been able to get off unless its the girl giving me a handjob, it seems I am too used to the feel of a hand rather than vagina.

So I am going to go a week without M or P and see if I feel anymore horney.

Btw has anyone tried a "fleshlight" as a way of getting used to the feeling again - or moreso the feeling of it not being a hand?

thanks
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i am a boy of 18yrs maturbating more than 6 times a day want to know whether it has any effects please
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i am a boy of 18yrs maturbating more than 6 times a day want to know whether it has any effects please
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Avatar_m_tn
That's totally ridiculous. My response to you is based on the possibility of you actually being serious.

If you even bothered to read the posts here, you would observe that many of the guys here HAVE tried several women that they desire and they still have erection problems.  
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I'm curious as to why your profile identifies you as a female.
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Yeah I've had two HOT chicks in front of me more than willing to do anything and everything I wanted to do and I really cared about them and I couldnt get an erection to save my life.

It isnt about their hotness, I could picture the hottest woman in the world and no matter what I did besides vigorously physically stimulating my penis, I couldnt get an erection, and when I did it would only be a semi erection and not a full fledged one and it wouldnt last past the stimulation.

Now with porn, I'd be hard all the way and last the whole time but I'd be looking at more and more hardcore porn and not the vanilla stuff you'd find in everyday sexual situations between a new couple.

So dont tell me that the hotness of the woman is our problem. It may be YOUR problem because the woman you're with has let herself go or whatever, it isnt MY problem.
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I honestly don't think we should even acknowledge "akhenaten001" being on here unless he has something constructive to say. Let's concentrate on the issue we're all facing, not turn this board into a back-and-forth because this guy obviously doesn't understand the problem. (and really doesn't want to.)

So, things are taking their sweet time. I am noticing more as I go along but it's frustrating, the waiting, and the fact that I do have a girl that's understanding, but it still *****. I slipped up once in a month, but that shouldn't set me back to square one should it?
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No I dont think that a slip up in a month should set you back to square one, as long as it was once and you didnt go on a 4-5 orgasm streak.

To me I see big improvement from limiting the masturbation overall. Like say I know I've fallen back and broke my week streak by only masturbating one time then went on another week and a half long streak only to relapse and masturbate again.

By limiting the masturbation and not looking at porn at all I'm seeing results, although not as much as if i'd go the entire 8-10 week period without indulging in sexual activity at all. I think just by limiting it you're doing yourself a favor.

Like before when I was masturbating 2-3 times everyday there came a time eventually I noticed that I wasnt getting a full erection, that I was only lasting 2-3 minutes before orgasm, that I had to vigorously stimulate myself physically, etc. I also was not able to even get an erection standing up, only when seated or laying on my back.

Now by only masturbating once every 1 to 2 weeks (but striving to make it the entire 8-10 weeks) I've noticed I get almost 100% erection quality when I do masturbate, that I can go 10 to 15 minutes at a time, that I could lightly stimulate my penis and it would respond, and most importanly I could get an erection while standing up as well.

So my thinking is that by limiting masturbation you are doing yourself a service, quitting porn and never going back is the key to recovery, and if you make it the whole 8-10 weeks without masturbating, without porn, and minimizing sexual thoughts, you can easily be cured in that time frame, but you have to commit to it.
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Do you considerate it a setback when, say you're watching a normal TV show (like on HBO) and you see breasts or a naked woman?

That wasn't what you were looking for but you just happened to see it?
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No I dont think its a setback. I mean I just see them. As long as I dont masturbate to them I think I'm good.

I didnt go looking for it on the net, I didnt masturbate to it, I didnt orgasm to it, it was part of some hardcore porn flick, etc.

I think its fine.
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Avatar_n_tn
Has anyone tried Kegel exercises as an aid in recovering stronger and longer erections?  I am on Day 14 of abstaining from M/P/O and it is difficult at times.  So far, I don't notice any change in stimulation or erection.  I have no sensation of decreased libido or change in attitude toward women.
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I agree with mattmanelite,

Seeing simple nudity in that context should not be considered a "setback."
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Hi everyone.

23 years old. Stopped heavy porn use 4 weeks ago and havent masturbated to ejaculation since. However, during this time, I starting dating a girl and flatlined a week into my abstinence stage. I had little to no desire to have sex, decreased sensation, and lack of spontaneous erections and morning wood, up untilt the past week or so. Starting to get some morning wood here and there and erections are firmer, even if they don't last very long. Still haven't looked at porn since I stopped 4 weeks ago. However, 4 days ago I had a wet sexual dream out of my control and yesterday morning (granted I already had some morning wood when she started), my gf gave me a handjob (with half to 3/4 erection) and I came fast. It felt really good and the sensation was much better than it was 3-4 weeks ago. However, will my gf doing this to climax be of any set back? I feel it would not be a bad thing in moderation or limitation since my penis has been sober of porn and masturbation, and can adjust and become acclimated to the touch of my girl. any thoughts? thanks
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3 and a half weeks in now. might be related, might not, but i just had the first "nocturnal emission" in years. Hopefully thats a good sign..... Anyway, so far no slip ups. Lets hope it stays that way. Goodluck everyone.
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I slipped for today. It is day 20 in the 90 day program. I feel guilty about what happened. But it WON'T happen again. I won't start from day 1, but I will push on to day 21 and remain clean through to day 90.
And if I feel the urge to use again, I'll read this forum. It really helps with keeping my problem at bay.
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Few update on my side(25M)

A week on no P/M/O, I definitely see some improvement in my memory, get occasional erection, though I can't maintain it more than 1~2mins.Before undergoing abstinence, I had memory problem, hair fall, fatigue, intensive insomnia, and was almost impossible to get a boner without hand stimulation, that couldn't even last more than a min.My aim is to bring myself back to the stage I can get a boner looking at busty girls.

However, what really drives me crazy is people around me.Family members and friends are aware that I'm sick, but they don't exactly know about my illness.It's been too difficult for me to share this problem with anyone, except you guys.Every night I sleep with despair, stupid thoughts 'I may not able to cure my this forever' comes across my mind, that eventually put me into notorious depression, which scare the **** out of me.
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Dont worry dude, just stick to the abstinence and try to stay away from sexual stuff that could set you back.

Dont think you're alone. I'm dealing with the fact that I feel alone in a sea of people who can have sex anytime they want and are having fulfilling relationships. All my guy friends I've had to limit contact with because every other thing out of their mouths is about having sex with some fling at the club or having sex with their girlfriends who love them dearly.

Not only that, everything on the radio and the tv is related to sex and it puts the thoughts back in my head again.

The only thing I can do is keep sticking to the recovery plan, give it my all, and improve myself little by little until I'm to the point I'm feeling good about myself and my situation.

Just hang in there pal.
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Hey all,

Wow, it's been a week without M, and it's been crazy tough. I slipped up and looked at some P, but I didn't ejaculate to it. Eitherway, that was a bad move, and I'm going to try and even teasing myself with that.

But wow, pretty intense urges. Not sure if this was related, but a couple of nights this past week I had insomnia, even after some strenuous work-outs, so that was really weird. Suffice to say, I have been getting occasional erections, nothing long lasting or incredibly strong, but they come and go. I'm hoping that's a good sign.

It's cool to hear everyone's progress and stories. Stay strong all.
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Thanks, mate

Glad to know am not alone here. I think abstinence is not that difficult once one has a STRONG urge to 'cure', but the biggest hurdle is 'people' around us.I know exactly how it feels to be stand alone in a sea of sex crazy people.sigh..
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Hi Everyone.

  It has been a long time since I have posted.  A few updates.  As a serious porn user I will say that I went through with drawl symptoms.  Not sleeping, no focus, no sex drive etc.  It was not a good time but I made it. You will too. I did have a month or so of being back to mild porn use, every couple days, a very sort exposure time.  Just turn on the computer for a quick video, very quick jerk then move on.  Life was hell at the time and a quick fix seemed to help, so I thought. Anyways my life was hell to do to things going on in my life including the loss of the only love of my life which is why I quit porn!  So fellas its like this.  Quit porn in the fall of 2010, a few lapses but mostly porn free for 3 months, still jerking off some..  Was getting cured but not there yet.    After the loss of my girlfriend which had nothing to do with porn, actually she was very supportive I said I will stop this forever even though it had been part of my life for at least 20 years.  If she came back I did not want to still have the problem.  So just over 2 months ago I said I am done with porn forever.  Have gone over 2 months without any porn.  Was  still jerking off 1 a week or ever couple days.  Also so my first wet dream. lol

I think this will help most of you out.  I started crossing off the days porn free on a piece of paper.  Just like days of a calender on a prison cell wall.  Also tracked what days I jerked off.  Also found that I get crazy morning wood now!   Fellas try the calender approach as you can see the days fall before you eyes.  Do not jerk off as it hurts you healing time if you ask me... If you do jerk it think of something other that a porn fantasy.. One thing that is completely gone is I no longer think of porn, can see scenes or porn stars in my head/dreams.  All traces of porn are now gone from my brain.  It takes time.  Keep busy with fitness, hobbies or doing something good for others.  Amazing what a little karma can do.  You will get better.  I will try and go 30 days now with out a tug and see if I am cured.  That will be at least 90 days porn free plus 30 without a tug.

-stay away from porn, even swimsuit mags in stores.. whatever has images of fake/porn women avoid
-try a calendar or even a diary to show your self the results.  This has helped the most!!
-if you do have to jerk do not think of porn stars or scenes.
-stay focused on other good things in your life.
-put a porn blocker on your computer
-remove all porn from your house
-You can do it.
-I feel way way better about everything.  Do not know if I am cured but can see the light at the end of the tunnel

JG
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Thank you for the stories you have shared.  They have helped me and I hope that by sharing some of my own story I can help somebody else.

I am 27 and I have been masturbating to porn multiple times a day for years.  I always thought it was a cheap, harmless way to get a quick thrill.  It wasn't until my first sexual opportunity at 21 when I discovered that my penis didn't respond to a naked woman the way I expected.

Over the years I consistently struggled with getting or maintaining erections with real women.  Each failure convinced me that there must be something wrong with me.  I knew it wasn't physical because I could still get an erection from porn, so I assumed that it must be anxiety and/or depression.  I began to resign myself to a life of no sex and no relationships.

Then I met a beautiful girl and our otherwise excellent first date ended in an awkward night I blamed on too much alcohol.  A couple of days later I wondered if too much masturbation was the culprit, so I searched and found this site.  The idea of giving up porn for life would have seemed outrageous to me before, but seeing hundreds of men with my same problem all pointing at the same cause made it a very easy decision.

I can't claim to have made a complete PMO reboot because on the morning of day 14 I successfully had sex with my new girl.  Even though I ejaculated very prematurely I considered it a victory because I had gotten there by her touch alone.  I only share this story to show that even somebody who never had a normal sex life can make a drastic improvement in just two weeks of no PMO.  Clearly it works and you have nothing to gain by continuing to use porn.
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Is it just me or does no one else feel attractive at all during this time? I mean zero, ziltch, nada. I was talking to a female friend of mine about being a virgin, I wanted her advice on it, she said my best bet was to have sex with a friend, someone who wouldnt hold it against me my first time and would show me what to do. She said SHE would even help me out.

I was shocked and surprised. She said yeah, I was an attractive guy, a little unsure about myself, but that would change if I had sex for the first time.

I told her no, that I just didnt feel attractive enough to have sex with her. She laughed and asked me what the real reason was, that she thought guys didnt even need to feel attractive, that they could just DO it.

I didnt even know how to respond.

So is it just me? Do you guys even want to feel attractive when having sex? Does it even matter to you?
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Congratulations. 14 days is extrenemly rare for such a response. Please keep us updated on you rebooting progress, as you may not be out of the woods. The more info we gather, the better for everyone. Note that premature ejaculation and ED occasionally occur simultaneously - and both can clear up with time.

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Its been some time now since my last update here...

Guys you can beat this... If you read my previous posts you will know i was a somewhat severe case of this porn induced ED, i couldnt see the light and thought i will never have a normal life... Ive been having this problem pretty much all of my life and i'm 29 now... The thing i regret the most was not finding this thread before, really, this would have save me soo much pain (specially the last couple of years was hell for me).

In my last post i said i was devastated (truth) because i tried to have sex and only got half hard even with serious stimulation (oral, hand)... Well, the last couple of weeks, ive been having rock hard erections with girls. Its amazing, this are the best erections of my life. i still cant say im cured for sure, as you always have this in the back of your mind. I will be completely sure in a few months time.

In fact i'm having the complete oposite problem now, ive been having some degree of premature eyac. When in my porn days, whenever i could get it up (ed drugs most of the time) i could go for hours, and many times i couldnt even come at all... Now its like im having sex for the first time. I will start some kegel excesises, and the start/stop method... Anybody in recovery having the same problem? Still, this problem is a blessing compared with the ED one...

Anyway, as i wanted to hear it from people recovering, YOU CAN BEAT THIS, if you commit to the program, you can... I had 1 porn/orgasm slip up, and a couple of M/o ones, but that didnt set me back to square one, you just have to keep going, this its too damn important to give up... It may take more time than others, it may take a couple of dissapointments (like what happened to me), not everyone is the same... but YOU WILL GET YOUR ERECTIONS BACK IF YOU GIVE UP PORN FOR GOOD!!
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Avatar_m_tn
wwool is right. Listen to him, he knows what he's talking about.
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Avatar_m_tn
When you're going through your "detox" period, do you test your erections to see if they're getting better?

If so, to what frequency? Once a week?
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Avatar_m_tn
You'll know when you see women in your environment and you feel like you want to interact with them. Porn/masturbation addicts tend to not notice everyday women anymore.
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wwooll and orcjr,

You are both very well spoken and your posts are greatly appreciated. I'm 25 and have an addition problem, no doubt. Only minor effects in my sex life but I am engaged and have a baby on the way. I'd really like to nip this in the bud before things get out of hand. My family deserves better.

This is my first time to the forum. I'll try to check posts every day, but responses would be appreciated as well. More insight is always good. I'm going to attempt the two-week challenge of going without P/M.

Thanks for the posts everyone. Keep it up... (get it?)
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Many success stories I've read say not to test at all. Testing for me leads to edging (stimulating to the brink of O), which leads to relapse. I started this process on july 5th but have relapsed 4 times, my longest period of abstainance was 1 month. I have noticed definite improvments, but I've not yet tested myself with a woman. I'm trying to go at least 2 months without any PMO before I attempt sex with a woman, I want my odds of success as high as possible. I am really horny lately, and I feel like I could perform, but I want to make sure I've rebooted. I don't think there is a way to "test" yourself other than real intercourse.
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Do you think that just reading about sex should be kept to a minimum?

For example, I was on a site and I wanted to learn how to do a certain move in bed, and just reading about it made me erect because it was girls describing it.
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Hey man...

Just wanted to let you know i've been following your posts and appreciate all of your words. We are having a similar recovery (PE problems included). I believe having people like you, its really important for this thread.

I will keep posting here since my journey its not over yet. Good luck to all...

P.S. 1drummotto, congrats on the fact you found out about this before serious damage. Please do yourself a favor and quit porn now, it will save you some problems.
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I wouldn't think of it as a two week challenge, I would think of it as a lifestyle change of no more porn and only limited masturbation.  I'm on day 20 of no PMO and at first I was amazed by how often I felt compelled to masturbate out of boredom.  

These days I don't feel any urge to masturbate with or without porn, but I find myself far more responsive to a real woman's touch.  We've all experienced the dark side of the porn addiction spectrum, but once you see how simple it is to change your sex life for the better you can't help but feel motivated to see the reboot through.
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Today, I was looking for a picture of something on Google images and I got, the internet being what it is, pictures of porn.

This was unintentional and I closed it right away.

Do you think this is a setback?
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below is my current status

age/gender: 31/male
marital status: single
relationship status: in relationship but no sex due to my religion prohibits sex before marriage
been addicted to PM: since age 11 (20 years)
# of attempts to stop for the past 3 years: 5 times
last relapse: today after 15 days
last longer abstinence from PM: 3 months last year
goal: stop PM
how: - strengthen and increase frequency of religious activities
        - replace PM  with healthy hobbies
        - socialize and visit friends more often
        - avoid looking at sexy girls.
        - delete all porn materials in my pc and stop accessing porn websites

my hardest challenge is avoiding looking at sexy girls. everytime I happened to see one in my office or malls, or even just stumbling upon a hot flight attendant girls during flights, my porn addiction kicked in and I wanted to watch porn and then masturbated.

Also I am planning to get married within 1 year so I must fix this. However I feel still normal, that I always wake up with hard erection. And I can get erection real hard even in public spaces when there is a hot woman around in decent outfit (business attire, for example). So I believe my chance to recover is really big. I resolved that I MUST SUCCEED this time. Pray for me.
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On day 21 of no PM I had sex two more times, ejaculated almost immediately each time.  I know she's disappointed with how short it lasts.  I told her it's been too long since my last time and my sensitivity is too high, so the only way to get better is to keep doing it.  I hope that's true!

And to any guys worrying about fantasizing too much, I say put that imagination to work.  Any time I recognize my thoughts drifting toward anything sexual I mentally visualize a blizzard filling my mind's eye with snow and ice.  It probably sounds weird but it works to redirect my thoughts back to the external world.
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Avatar_m_tn
It'll get better and easier to control your ejaculation I'd assume.

Just the fact that you're able to get an erection for sex is much better than the majority here, so ejaculating too quickly should be easier to fix. As long as you dont go back to porn and dont go back to masturbating too frequently so that you're desensitized then you are ok.

I think that once you get into the rhythm of being with the girl and the sensation becoming something you're more used to then you'll be able to last longer and longer. Just dont look at this as a huge problem, you're already doing tons better than myself and others here.
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about a month and 4 days in, i see a few good signs here, but im still worried about the overall erection. It still seems like blood flow is not adequate yet, I suppose I do have more time ahead of me still.  If anyone has already gone through this process and noticed a similar effect until they were finished id appreciate hearing it.
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Avatar_m_tn
I relapsed again today, lasted a few more days than I have been and thats a good thing.

I hate that I fell back on it, but with the stress I've been going through it just felt right. Damn. I wish I'd kept going. After its over I feel guilty.

No porn this time but still images of porn I'd seen ran through my head as I hit the big O.

Guess I'm back on the abstinence train again. *sigh*
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Avatar_m_tn
Well I'm on day 27 of no PM and I'm starting to see that my erection problems were only one factor among many keeping me from the dating scene.  I'm physically attractive enough and I have no problem talking to women, but when I find a girl I like I notice myself acting differently.  

I can get clingy and needy and anxious all the time wondering what she thinks of me.  I'm trying to convince myself that if I put on a calm face for the world it will in turn calm me down.  It doesn't help that my peer group is woefully limited.  I don't work with any women my age, I don't go to school, etc.  The bar scene is intimidating to me because I feel like it's not conducive to real conversation and I don't like all the male competition around.

On the bright side, I believe my erection problems are on their way out of my life for good.  I have not masturbated to orgasm since I began my reboot, but just some light touching is enough to get me hard.  Rebooting with a new partner has been a mixed blessing for me.  There have been a couple incidents of "deflation" leading to awkward questions, but seeing my body respond to her touch is a humongous boost to my confidence.  It's embarrassing to admit, but she is the first girl I have ever had sex with more than one time.

Also, to mattmanelite, don't sweat the relapse.  Guilt won't help you, it'll just make you feel bad.  As long as you stay on the right track and keep going you'll get there for sure.  One relapse does not reset the whole process.
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Avatar_m_tn
I understand what you mean, for years and even in college I didnt meet that many women and when I did they were either seeing someone or not really my type enough to want to date them. I was never much of a party guy in college either and that limited my options.

I consider myself an attractive guy, successful, confident when I talk to women, but just limited in my options with women.

I really feel you on the bar scene. I HATE the bar scene and the club scene. Its too loud and guys think that if a chick is in a bar, even if shes with a guy, she's free game to hit on. I'm not big on confrontation and thats what happened 9 times out of 10 that I met a girl at a bar. I had to play defense all night and act like a crazed jealous idiot when a guy would come up and blatantly try to get the girl I was talking to to go with them.

With that being said I had recently (if you call last year recent) found a girl I liked more than any other I'd EVER dated. She was the whole package but out of my league. I'd later find out I wasnt exactly her type because she fancied the 6 foot muscle bound dominant alpha male type. I being a 5 feet 10 inch, 190 pound, average joe type; I was wondering if she even found me attractive and wanted to be in the relationship for something more than just because she was lonely, liked the attention, and no one better had come along.

I was constantly thinking, "Does she find me attractive? Am I enough for her? Does she even want to be with me?" and I always thought things progressively went downhill as the relationship progressed. She started off flirting, holding my hand constantly, being right up on me when we would watch tv or a movie or something, then all that stopped unless I initiated it.

It seems like now when I find a girl that likes me, I like her, we share similar interests and everything, I get attached easily. Maybe I put too much effort in making her like me more or whatever. I dunno if its because I'm 25 and something inside is telling me to hurry up and bag a chick or if its my need for companionship, but I jump head first into situations and dont think, "What if she doesnt feel the same way?"

Anyway thanks for the kind words. I deleted the last of the porn off my computer and I'm hoping that by really committing to this, I can be cured after 8 to 10 weeks.

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Avatar_m_tn
I would consider myself partially rehabilitated, because I have had sex successfully with several different women since changing my porn/masturbation habits. What has really helped is KNOWING when I will be with a girl--i.e. going to visit a girl in two weeks. That makes it really easy, for me at least, to lay off the P&M. However, I have even PM the day before hooking up with a girl. Which leads me to my point:

A lot of this is a matter of confidence. The anxiety is a huge killer, FOR SURE. I used to look at pretty women and think "well what's the point, I wouldn't even be able to get it up" or see a sex scene in a movie and think "man, will that ever be me?" Just being around other guys talking about sex (I'm a baseball player, so it's pretty much every day) would give me anxiety and negative thoughts. Once you can over come these things, especially if it's repeatedly with the same girl, your confidence goes up and your momentum goes up.  Now when I see a girl I think "damn I really want to bang her." Hey, maybe not the most delicate thing, but it's our hardwired nature. Anyone who says they don't think that is lying.

My interactions with women have changed too, I am more relaxed, not anxious thinking about negative situations. I'm nicer and generally just having a nice time enjoying their company, even if I'm not trying to get at them.

And women feel that confidence.
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Avatar_m_tn
I agree with you about confidence 100%. Another factor would be thinking and stressing about it.

For example, when I was with the last girlfriend when I wasnt thinking that it would eventually lead to sex, and we were just playfully making out or kissing or flirting or whatever, I would get the beginnings of an erection. What I mean by that is, my penis would come to life so to speak. As if my penis was enjoying himself and was ready to go. This was during the time before I found out that masturbation and porn were doing me a disservice and I was masturbating 2 or even 3 times daily.

So this leads me to believe that in the early part of our relationship, and I knew that we both wanted to wait for sex, there wasnt a pressure to perform and it was fun. But the day that we set as the "big day" I couldnt get an erection to save my life resulting in her thinking I wasnt sexually attracted to her and that she then thought she could do better and she left me.

As far as confidence goes, I agree that it plays a part. I'm 200 pounds and 5 feet 10 inches tall which means I'd need to lose 60 pounds of fat. While with the ex girlfriend I started working out daily, watching my food intake, etc. when I got down to 180 pounds and lost 20 pounds, I was ecstatic. I was getting compliments from coworkers, friends, and even my girlfriend was saying she loved the new look and I felt manly and awesome and again I felt better than I had in awhile and I got erections easier, still not when I'd like them but with light touch it was easier than before for some reason.

So yes confidence goes a LONG way. So I believe in short we as men need to feel confident, desired, and wanted by our partners while on the other hand being cool, calm, and relaxed enough to let the sex happen on its own and not worry if were going to please her or not. Those things, paired with a limiting of masturbation and a no porn policy will get us back where we need to be.
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Avatar_m_tn
Found an interesting post from another medical forum recently that seems worth sharing with you

Try 14 days at least without an orgasm. Day 7 you will notice a clear boost in selfmotivation and selfestem but you will stil have some anxiety. This is the testosterone receptors returning to normal sensitivity. Dopamine is closely asociated with testosterone levels (or sensibility of its receptors), and oxytocin is also related to dopamine, so we can not say that is prolactine or testosterone or seotonin...taht is the problem is the combination of all of then and how they change other neurochemicals. Around dat 14 the D2 receptors return to normal sensibility (amphetamine and coacine addicts also notice a returning to normal social functioning at day 14, amphetamine and orgasm produces many of the same neurochemical fuctuations).



Havent you noticed that after masturbation you loose interest in the oposite sex? In my case ALL of the relationships I have started have been after 1 to 3 months of abstinence from orgasm. But it is not only to the oposite sex that we became insensitive to after an orgasm, it is also to life in general, we need those D2, Testosteron and oxytocin receptors functioning at a normal level (too much give problems like schizofrenia...) to have a normal life and most important enyoy life. If we enyoy life and beiing around people then the Social Phobia is gone. And this we do when we keep the receptors at a normal level.
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Avatar_m_tn
I want to clarify.

Did that post may have come from a social anxiety forum? That's where I found it. If you read the rest of the posts you will see discussions about Karezza, tantra, orgasm etc. I have seen similar post on other forums discussing sex and how orgasm affects neurobiology, testosterone receptors or testosterone levels (as in the 7 day spike following abstinence).

The original source for all that material is the reuniting website. It contains many articles on the neurobiology of sex, orgasm and love, as does the psychology today website that publishes their blog posts. Google: reuniting + “your brain on sex” – and you will one of many articles. A book was also written about this material. The websites focus in on how orgasm affects perceptions of sexual partners.

Let me clear up some confusion about orgasm:
1) There may a subtle orgasm cycle that last 14 days.
2) Prolactin my rise and fall during this cycle, but it does not rise and stay up
3) The testosterone receptors in the brain decline for 4-7 days following sexual exhaustion.
4) Dopamine may be subtly affected but its unlikely dopamine D2 receptors are affected.
5) Activation of testosterone receptors increases dopamine in the reward circuitry, which increases libido

I know this can be a bit overhwelming, but this is the take away = NONE of this has anything to do with porn addiction or porn induced ED.

Porn Addiction and ED involve many brain changes, including a decline in both dopamine and D2 receptors. It takes at least 8 weeks to recover, and often longer. Some take 90-120 days.

I suggest you visit yourbrainonporn and watch the videos.
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Avatar_m_tn
I think what ytzhakstern is saying is that there is evidence to show that your brain does reset itself.

Yes I know we already established that your brain gradually goes back to normal levels of various neurochemicals  as you go without masturbation, sex, and pornography, but in this case I think it bears repeating again and this time its with more scientific research to back up the claims.

Because even when I first found this forum I was skeptical that all this cold work, because its drilled into our heads as men that masturbation is good, the more the better and its healthy. And I had no earthly idea that there was chemicals in the brain that governed sexual attraction and other things and by masturbating too much you could throw those out of whack.

I mean if anyone would have told me that I was throwing testosterone levels and other chemicals and enzymes into disarray, I'd certainly not have masturbated like I did over the years. Maybe at most a couple times a week.

This may sound weird but by dropping the masturbation to a 1 or 2 times a week maximum I'm already seeing a change in the way I feel. Its astonishing, and I havent even made it over a week at a time being abstinent. I cant imagine how I'll feel after 2 weeks or more of being off masturbation.

I think that any reassuring posts are a good thing.
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Avatar_m_tn
So heres a brief history of my road to recovery. I have had ED problems during sex since my first experience at 18, I have been masturbating 1-2 times a day since 13, with porn. I started this process after finding this post and YBOP.com on July 4th, 2011. The first month I was O free, but I did edge with porn fantasy several times within the first month. After that first month I relapsed, and began to find myself relasping almost once every 10 days or so, usually with porn, often with 2-4 O each relapse. Depite these set backs I noticed great changes in how often I was getting erections, and an overall increase in sensitivity.

So last night I decided to test my progress with a woman. I invited over a girl on facebook that I knew had been wanted to hook up with me for a while. We started making out and I got very hard, very fast. After some mutual oral sex, I put the condom on and stayed very hard, which is a first for me! However, after about 25 minutes of penetration in several positions, we were both exhuasted and I still had not finished. I was not even able to finish with my hand, I just felt very little sensitivity down there, her vagina though the condom, just wasnt providing the pleasure that I expected it would.

Although this was a big improvment over my past attempts at sex, which I would usually go soft during foreplay or shortly after penetration, I am still feeling very discouraged. I was so hoping that it would be awesome sex and I would finally be cured of this. My last orgasm was 6 days ago, from masturbation.

I'm thinking what I need is a true 60-90 days of abstinance, NO edging, as little fantasy as possible, and of course no O or porn. Unfortunatley I've got several female prospects, a couple of whom I could definetly see becoming exclusive relationships. But all of that will have to go on the back burner I suppose. Despite marked improvments, I'm still worried that I will never fully be cured of this, and never be able to truely share great sex and enjoy it with someone.
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Avatar_m_tn
starting day #1- no porn and masturbating only 1 time a week. I want to see if I do have self-control over the matter.
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Avatar_m_tn
Yeah Will. It seems like you may have more than average recovery time ahead of you, which isnt the end of the world, the 8 weeks "guideline" isnt true for everyone. In some cases people have said its taken them even 16 weeks to get back to where they need to be.

In my opinion, and its just an opinion since I dont have medical degrees or anything, I think edging is bad for us. When paired with fantasy its even worse because its like a porn playing in your head. I think that does its own part in desensitizing us.

So I think your best bet is to put everything sexual on the back burner. That would include female romantic relationships. I say center your mind on something else besides sex, a hobby or work or something. Go the 8-16 weeks and just put sexual stuff on hold and then revisit it with a real woman at the end of that time and see what happens. I'd wager your body will be raring to go and you may even hit a bit of premature ejaculation but I think that your body wll just need to get back into balance between wanting sex badly and getting used to the feeling of it again.

Hows your masturbation when you do it? If you dont mind me asking? Do you use a light touch or is it a good grip? Lube or no lube?

Maybe its a good idea to practice a light touch, with lube to simulate a real vagina? Maybe your body needs to acclimate itself to a lighter sexual touch also?

Just my opinion.
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Avatar_m_tn
Sounds to me like you probably were just a little too worried about it. You were probably really tense and trying really hard. If you are getting hard and staying hard, then just keep having sex and you will get comfortable.

Or you could stop too, your choice.
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Avatar_m_tn
Thanks for the advice guys. My grip is pretty tight I guess, probly tighter than it should be.But I'm definetly cold turkey on M completely now. Yes I was also pretty tense, I always am during sex tho, I put alot of pressure on myself and its hard to relax and enjoy it.

I think I might just man up and keep seeing women, theres a good looking girl who wants to date and I doubt she will wait around for 2 months+, so its kinda now or never. All sexual stuff besides sex is done for sure tho. It'll probably be 2-3 weeks b4 I get another opppurtunity, so hopefully I'll be ready to go. I need to work on just enjoying the sex and stop worrying so much.

Also I think I need to work on positions where I get more stimulation. My last sex we did her-on-top, doggystyle, reverse cowgirl and missionary, none of them really seemed to provide much stimulation with a condom. When I masturbate it mostly focuses on the head on the penis and the ridge under it, but sex seems to mostly stimulate the shaft, which isn't what my little guy is used to.

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Avatar_m_tn
Don't get me wrong, I believe that masturbation, and orgasm cause a subtle (in some not-so subtle) change in mood and perception, which may last about 2 weeks.

However, I want to distinguish between a series of neurochemicals events that occurs automatically with orgasm, and the addictive changes that occur with porn-induced ED.

Nearly everyone one who paraphrases the material on thereuniting website gets aspects of wrong (as the man quoted in the post did).

As far as blood testosterone levels, masturbation or abstinence, has little long-term effect. The one study that monitored testosterone levels during abstinence saw a 47% spike at day seven.
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Avatar_m_tn
So in terms of my brain resetting what can I expect as a general timeline?

What effects will I see as time progresses?

Also morning wood, its practically non-existent, although I get rock hard erections when masturbating to porn.

Someone said that morning erections come a lot of times as a need to urinate too, and I stay up late nights and often pee once before bed and again during the night, maybe that is also a contributing factor?
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Avatar_m_tn
Hello All,

I actually just found this page today. After 5 years of experiencing sexual dysfunction and frustration, I finally decided just yesterday that I need to seriously do something about my problem with masturbation.

I have a similar story to what Will_Overcome had posted above on Sept 12th. I didn't have any sexual issues as a teenager "fooling around".  I was 21 when I found my first serious girlfriend and decided to have sex, but when we finally tried to go for it, I couldn't get it up. I was already using pornography at the time, because based on everything I heard about guys making fun of each other for being "one minute wonders" I thought I had to masturbate to make sure I could go long enough to satisfy her. Of course, when it didn't work, I got frustrated, masturbated more, and eventually turned it into a habit that is more about relieving stress than satisfying sexual urges.

I won't go on and on here... but I do have one question! I have entered into a "mutually beneficial" sexual relationship with a good friend of mine. Basically we've both been a bit lonely since breaking up with ex's. She's a great and very kinky girl and I decided this is the right time for me to get over my sexual problems. I don't know how long this thing will last, and she is starting to get frustrated that she can't get me off. Should I confide in her as a friend and tell her that I have sexual issues? On one hand, it would make her understand what is wrong and she might be willing to help me get over things, but on the other hand it might just totally turn off any possibilities. I have a feeling from reading other people's comments that is going to take a LOT longer than a week or two of abstinence to get back to a healthy sexual state, but maybe after a couple weeks I can at least get off masturbating with her, or something like that? I think it might be good to get as much time with another real woman as possible to get my mind shifted back to reality.

-Tony
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Avatar_n_tn
Haven't posted for a while; just reading.  I am at day 36 abstinence from porn or masturbating with porn.  The yourbrainonporn.com videos made good sense to me and I have followed the regime.  It works.  I must say that in my case it has apparently been easier to give up porn cold turkey and as yet I have had no extreme side effects. (but I expect them)  I do believe that my brain needs to reset, however, because I was enjoying daily use of porn for more than a year before I went on the program.  I think I will make the 90 days and get the benefit of it.  And I know that I am now sufficiently warned about the insidious effects of porn that I wont use it again.  By the way, I notice I am harder and can sustain an erection longer.  And Viagra works for me now as Levitra did not work before.  However, I still think there is improvement to be had in this regard and time will tell.  Im not sure if it is the switch or just that my ED is improving.
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Avatar_n_tn
It depends on how good a "friend" she is.  If your relationship is such that you sense that she is likely to help and that she would benefit from being told that you are working on a problem, then tell her.  You know better than any of us if your relationship is sufficiently close that she would want to be helpful and understanding, particularly in as much as you are committed to do something to solves the problem.  However, I will tell you this.  No matter what, be prepared for her to walk.  Some women will understand and help; others simply won't
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Avatar_m_tn
if you gonna tell her, you are best to make up some fictional story behind it so she understands... this what you do because I'm smart like that, make up a story and tell her you're going to see a doctor about your issue.. AFTER THE VISIT (eventhough  you never went), tell her you went to see your doctor about your problem and your doctor TOLD YOU that you may be going thru ED issues due to over-masturbation and that the doctor TOLD YOU to refrain from masturbation (including sex) for at least 2 weeks to see if this put your mind back on the right track. that way she will understand because a doctor advice and suggestions are credible. if you choose to just tell her on your own about your problem, she may walk!!!
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Avatar_m_tn
I agree with Myron-Long on this one. Make up a doctors visit, tell her its doctors orders. If you say its due to porn then you look like a sex crazed monkey who is a degenerate and a low life who has no self control and she'll look negatively on that. Sort of like how straight laced people look at homeless drug addicts. Like they did it to themselves and I wont be giving change to someone who puts themselves in this position.

Also by saying its your own choice to go on a 2 week or more stretch without masturbation, sex, or the stuff that comes along with that, she'll think you're making up excuses why you wont have sex with her. She'll naturally jump to a place in her head where she rationalizes your behavior due to a lack of sexual attraction for her on your part and she'll think of it as a personal attack on her. Either that or she'll think you're holding down a relationship with someone else or that you have a STD or something you are wanting to clear up first.

None of which are good. So I say do some soul searching before telling her, and if you do decide to tell her then present it in as favorable a light as you can to avoid her walking.
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Avatar_m_tn
I haven't heard anyone comment on this, but since i began the process i have begun experiencing erections in the morning and occasionally again, but theyre not quite what they used to be. could this be a sign that there is another problem here, a physical one that is prohibiting adequate blood flow? or is this another symptom of just not being completely aroused because the porn is not present.

I'm a month and a half in, no slips back to porn at all. Was M slip in the last few days but its been extremely limited.
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Avatar_m_tn
Thanks to everyone for the comments. If I did say anything to her, I agree with Myron_Long that I would not tell her a whole long sob story. But I also think, when getting over a personal problem, that it is not good to completely lie about it to someone either. I think a lot of what got me into this situation was me lying to myself that my ED issues were unrelated to my use of pornography for so many years.

I think the ideal thing to say would just be something short, like "I've been really stressed out about school and breaking up with my ex over the past few months, and because of that I've been having some sexual problems. I think I am going to try to stop jerking off for a while and see if that helps."

As to mattmanelite's comment... I totally agree, for your typical woman, it would be a horrible thing to say how much you like porn. Most women think its disgusting. However, one of the big things that attracts me to telling her about this problem is that she is a very sex-positive person. For example, without me asking, she told me that she likes to watch porn when she masturbates sometimes. We actually talked about it for a while, and what kind of things we are into. She has openly mentioned porn in conversation with me. She is really interested and positive about the subject. She also told me she masturbates quite frequently (~2 times a day). Anyways, so I think she is the type of person who would be understanding, being a pretty sexual (and horny) person herself.

Thanks for the comments! I'm going to have to keep thinking about what to do...
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Avatar_m_tn
I know what you're saying, although I've never gone a month or however long you're on. I have only gone a week at the most and that was on a family vacation stuck in cramped quarters.

Anyway yes I do know what you're talking about. I myself find that I have no more morning wood anymore, well I say that but it feels like morning wood should, like its stiffer and more fuller than other parts of the day, like it would be morning wood given the chance.

Maybe its just the fact that I masturbated that night or something.

When you masturbate do you get full and strong erections? If so then its not blood flow related because your body can do it during porn. I say try improving the quality of your diet and eat healthier, try supplementing with a daily vitamin.
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Avatar_m_tn
okay I made it thru one week of no porn but I masturbate twice this weekend. now my goal is once a week then once every other week (no masturbation)... still no porn
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Avatar_m_tn
Few questions Id like answered please:

OK, recently tried to have sex with girl, kissing and foreplay only brought me to a semi-erection.

Have masturbated to porn for 6 years now, on average once every other day.  Rare occasion where it would be hours of edging until orgasm was finally reached.

Its was 18 days with no PMO where I started masturbating and got 100% erection with only touch, but used 20 seconds of porn to finish.  Still think Ive made progress though as in the mornings I get erections (now been 21 days, only once I PMO'd).

Questions:

1)  Could that have just been performance anxiety?  I can get full erections and orgasm with no porn and just touch.  It feels better and faster erections come with porn, but obviously masturbation and orgasm will feel much better when you are actually aroused as opposed to just touching yourself with no stimulants, right?

2)  Would going to strip clubs and getting a lapdance be a good test of progress?  Yes it would release dopamine, but its a real life stimulus giving you pleasure as opposed to a computer screen.  This is the whole point of no PMO, right?

3)  If I can M and O just by touch (although it takes longer), does this mean porn is not the cause of my problems?

Thanks in advance for your opinions.
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Avatar_m_tn
in my opinion...

1) wasn't performance anxiety. the reason you got a full erection from M and O is that you stroke your penis in the way you truly like and thats what trigger the full erection.

2) going to the strip clubs will probably give you the same erection you got when you was with the girl.

3) porn is part of the problem because when you watch porn it makes you masturbate. porn just help speed up the process because its more mental stimulation.
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Avatar_m_tn
So I'm on day 3 of no masturbation, and trying to limit porn but its hard to keep sexy fantasies out of my head and porn flash backs of movies I've seen keep getting into my head when I try not to think about it.

I'm just wondering if at the end of this will I be able to get erections, strong ones, just by being with a woman and enjoying being with her?

I'm completely in the dark on how a real erection should be. Do regular guys need to stroke themselves to keep themselves hard? Do regular guys have hard enough erections just being with the girl and everything that they dont need to stimulate themselves? How long should it take me to get an erection?

Sorry guys, I'm just freaking out. Being a virgin doesnt help this matter at all. And with no guys in my life I can go to with this, I'm sort of stuck.
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Avatar_m_tn
This is a very common question for young men who grew up using porn. They find it surprising  that when with a women, a young man (or even old guys) need absolutely no direct stimulation to achieve an erection. Your erection should be rock solid and stay that way during intercourse.  You should get an erection immediately if you are a relatively young man.

Guys may disagree with me, but I grew up in an erea where used our imaginations for masturbation, and othe rthan an occasional magazine guys didn't use porn.

Even today when I explain to my 50-60 year old peers that young men in their twenties are experiencing chronic ED, they look at me like I'm nuts.


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Avatar_m_tn
But is it possible to get back to where I need to be with time?

To the point where I get rock hard erections for the whole duration and without much effort? To the point as if I've never watched porn.

I mean thats the only thing keeping me going.

I'm 25 by the way.
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Avatar_m_tn
Of course you can recover as the brain is highly "plastic" or malleable. It just takes time and avoidance of porn and porn fantasy, and usually avoiding masturbation for a while.

We have been watching men recover for 5 years. Everyone thinks they are special, and that they will never recover. Not so.

However, what we have discovered is that young men who start masturbation with porn may take longer than older men who masturbated for years before they used porn. Young men are not developing their imaginations, and wiring their brains to computer screens and extreme novelty, or multiple genres.
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Avatar_m_tn
The whole thing just scares me to death. Another day without porn and masturbation though. Although a naked woman pops into my head periodically when this whole mess enters my thinking.

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Avatar_m_tn
Do u guys think its ok to fantasize about normal sex with a girl you know? This girl is texting me naked pix and we dirty talk through texts, so I fantasize during the process of course. No M and the fantasies consist of regular bedroom activity.
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Avatar_m_tn
I think its fine, I mean once you get to the actual point of sex with her, it should turn you on even more and get you hard.

As long as its normal bedroom activity and not extreme situations only found in hardcore porn, that you probably wouldnt run into in a normal everyday situation.
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Avatar_m_tn
I think it's okay too. This is something I've struggled with while on here. I think "normal" porn and fantasy can be okay once in awhile, e.g., a naked magazine, soft-core movie, racy story.

I think people get into problems when this is ALL THE TIME and hardcore stuff. I think the hardcore + the rapid changing, i.e., clicking on 200 different pictures or movies to "find the right one to take you over the edge," is what leads to E.D. and desensitizes us over time.

So to correct this we should go WITHOUT porn for however long it takes to RESET us back. But I don't think we should be scared of a naked photo or fantasy with M after we're reset now and then. Maybe I'm wrong?
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Avatar_m_tn
New to this forum,
I'm 26 have been M to P since I was 14.

Will try and keep this short: lost a long term relationship in the past due to not being able to orgasm with partner through intercourse, handjobs and oral.

Currently my latest girlfriend (of 9 months) wanted to finish things and we have agreed upon a break. I don't blame her, she asked me to go the docs but I put it off and put it off, until today.

I'm not too sure if the doctors advice would work; "try watching porn whilst with your girlfriend", "introduce sex toys". From what I told him he didn't think it was a physical problem. I don't want to be watching porn whilst having sex with my girlfriend, I feel it's not fair on her- I want normal man-woman sex, no visual porn involved at all!

I've previously tried abstaining from P and M, I lasted 8/9 days (my gf was on holiday for a week at the time). She gave me handjob when she returned, my penis felt more sensitive than previously and I reached orgasm very quickly in around 3 minutes, possibly less. However, since then I had strong urges to M to P and relapsed when she went on a second holiday :(

3 weeks have passed since her last holiday, she seemed down (post holiday blues) and a bit unsure in herself which way she wanted to go with her life; go back to uni etc?? She called me wanting to finish things, buut wasn't totally sure in case she would have regrets. At the time I said we may as well finish things as I want you to be happy.

I called her the next day, she met me and we had a chat, she wanted to still 'see me', however didnt want to be in a relationship with me. I suggested we should cease contact and see how we both feel after 3 weeks.

I need to get myself sorted. I don't want to lose this girl, I like her a lot. However it may be a case of too little too late :(

Has anyone sorted out their problem in 3 weeks?
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I first posted on this forum on March 6, 2011. I had just met the girl of my dreams and I wasn’t right sexually (you can search for me if you want to know the story). On that day I vowed to never watch porn again. 6+ months later, I stand a new man. I gave up watching porn and masturbating for six months and now I have absolutely no erection problems whatsoever. I am living proof that this major mistake that so many of us have made can be corrected. I did this all with a girlfriend as well, proving that’s possible. You have to be very open and honest to her about your situation and it will help you get through it. I am writing today to tell everyone there really is a light at the end of the tunnel. And when you get there it is so satisfying!!
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Hey, thanks for the blog.

What I find amazing is the medical profession (and sexologists) complete ignorance of how years of porn use can affect the brain. I have yet to see a urologist make the connection between Internet porn use and sexual dysfunction. If you had follwed his advice, you would continue to condition your brain to need porn during sex. Eventually you would probably develop full blown ED, even with porn. So sad that men have to to turn to forums to get decent advice.
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It's good to hear about success stories. Did you experience any other positive side effects after giving up P? How often did you M during this time.
Luckily you had a supportive girl and informed her of your problem from the off?

I didn't inform my girl until maybe 6 months after we first started dating. Perhaps this was a bit selfish on my part, as I was trying to 'suss' her out, make sure she was decent and understanding, and also to create a bond between us before she would run a mile after discovering my problem.

I was thinking last night, and as it stands I don't think a relationship would be a great idea. I need to reboot with or without her, however I feel with her I would put undue pressure on me myself, whereas she would get more frustrated and unsatisfied not being in a regular relationship with sex.
It wasn't an easy decision to make, but she has her own insecurities and concerns at the moment. I don't believe 2 people who aren't exactly happy with themselves is a good ingredient for a relationship to work?

Has anyone lost a girl through this condition?
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6 months of no porn and masturbation??? damn, thats amazing! I know I can go 6 months without porn but masturbation is another issue. I'm not even sure if masturbation is part of the root of the problem or if its just porn. Right now I'm aiming for no porn next 6 months like you and masturbation once a week then eventually once every other week. But I do hope I get the same results as you. again congrats!
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I've read everyones comments and it seemed to help me out but i just want to get some personal feedback on what you guys think. I used to watch porn all the time and masturbate but still have a great sex life with my girlfriend. Its been 3 years with the same woman and for the past couple months I've been having a proble getting an erection when we go to hook up. She gets mad and i get upset and when we try again I'm thinking about it too much and theres no chance. Has all the porn and masturbation finally caught up to me? Its been about a week since i last watched porn and masturbated and i keep getting the urge to go back to it. I just want to have a great sex life with my partner and not look at porn anymore. Can anyone help me out or give me some suggestions! Thank you.
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About 4 weeks ago I had a big let down with a girl. I just couldn't get aroused, and I came to the conclusion it was because of P/M. I would do at least 2 a day. Sometimes just out of habit and not because I was horny. That's how bad I was.
So I gave P/M up. Surprisingly it was very easy. Though I have looked at the odd picture of scantily clad women recently, but nothing hardcore. It did create the usual stirrings but nothing full blown. I put that down to my libido being zapped. I caved yesterday and M. Though I only used the sensations from it to turn me on. I didn't use any fantasies or pictures, just touch. I think that is nearly a positive sign. But I'm going to try and go without M again, not until I go 8 weeks.
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Good Luck to everyone in this, it is definitely not easy to change. I for one have relapsed M and P (soft stuff) but am getting back on the wagon. But I went a long time and am aware and I feel my progress has been good, I can feel a difference, but it just takes time.

SO KEEP ON KEEPING ON. You'll get better you'll notice the changes. And thanks to everyone on this site, it has been great support.
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My Formula to Success

It took me six months to fully recover and that is because I still occasionally masturbated (4 times in 6 months) and had sex (anytime my penis could work). Anytime I had a little progress I would “waste” it by having sex with my girlfriend. I started in March and with this formula by June, I still wasn’t completely right. I then decided to open up to my girlfriend about my situation. This is where my progress really took off. Being able to communicate with her something that I had never told anyone really set me free. I told her if we ever want to have a normal sexual relationship then she would have to stick it out with me. She agreed. So in June already being 9 weeks out of P&M, the O part was keeping me back. So I formed a new idea, I started having sex with her but I wouldn’t orgasm. That was an awesome compromise as it allowed her to be satisfied sexually while allowing me to heal. By the end of July my erections were starting to correspond to what my mind wanted. This was after 4 weeks of no orgasm. I then started “orgasming” 1x/wk with her, then 2x/wk, then 3x/wk. This took me all the way through August. By the beginning of September I was able to have sex with her everyday whenever I wanted. I can have sex with her now on command. I just have a confidence in my penis and know the erections will come. That is an awesome feeling! I had plenty of setbacks where my penis would be working fine one week then the next it was lifeless. This didn’t discourage me though, only motivated me. Just be confident in the fact that, this is 100% fixable. That kept me going.

Positive Side Effects I Have Noticed:

More confidence in general.
I can look at a girl who has a low cut shirt or tight jeans on and truly get turned on.
It has turned me into a much better person socially.
Less social anxiety, depression, helplessness.
It has also given me the confidence to know that I can get through any tough situation

Quitting porn is so worth it. This is the best decision I have ever made in my life. I’m telling all of you I thought this feeling would be good, but never knew it’d be this good! I can only imagine how impenetrable my sexual prowess will be a year from now. I’ll post again then too as the future looks very bright for me. When I was reading what I wrote in March it felt as if I was reading something that a different person wrote. This is when I knew my mind had changed and I was rebooted. To all of those people out there I am living proof. You really only need 8 weeks of no PMO. 2 months of no PMO in order to have your manhood back sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me. I’m only 23 and was fortunate enough to realize I had a problem. Do not waste your youthful sexual exuberance on a computer screen. I hope this helps everyone out, as I know this blog helped me out 6 months ago. Good Luck! I hope to hear many more success stories.
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FIRST ORGASM WITH A WOMAN EVER!!! If you do a cntrl+f and search for my old posts in this thread youll find that I started recovery at the beginning of July, and had a serious ED problem, since my first sexual encounter at 18.

So today this girl I've been seeing came over, I've had sex with her b4 but I was wearing a condom and couldnt finish. This time she had gotten a birth control shot for me, so I didn't use a condom, and omg, I O'd, no hand or oral at all! I played it off like "no biggie, just some more sex" but inside I was dancing and cheering.

I was really nervous the whole morning cuz I knew she was coming over at noon. Despite all the negative thoughts and nervousness, she pounced on me, started making out, and bam, it was on. I finished in like 5 minutes, which is actually too quick, but wayyyyy better than not being able to get it up.

This process works guys! Just stick with it and you'll recover. I, like everyone else, had a nagging thought that I was somehow different than other recovery stories, and perhaps some unknown variable in my life would prevent me from ever having a normal sex life.

I'm not fully cured of this and I know I've still got recovery ahead of me. Now that I can see how effective this is, I'm really excited to see what benefits further abstaining will bring me. Just a week ago I was freakin out about not being able to O with a condom, now I am more entusiastic about further recovery than ever b4. Also, don't let relapses get you down, having a PMO definetley doesnt reset your progress. I went only one month without any PMO ( and even during that month I was edging) and since that first month, Ive O'ed at least once a week often with porn, for a month and a half. Of course youll recover faster if you stay away from PMO completely, but a slip DOES NOT put u back at square one, just a little speed bump on the road to a normal sex life.
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okay, some girl I really like I'm talkin to challenge me in a 30-day no PMO and I'm on day 3 now.... So we'll see how I feel after 30 days doing this and give yall an update.
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I had some ED problems a few months ago after 6 years of regular p use and diagnosed them as being related to years of p, m, o. I therefore abstained for 6 weeks and started having a great sex life with my gf however we broke up 8 weeks ago and after a few weeks I started back on the p. This time though it was only soft stuff but felt as I was still getting the dopamine rushes as it wasn't the harder stuff I was used to but it was still a big hit every time. I m very rarely now and not done it to p in 3 months and when I do m I don't fantatsise about p.

Anyway......I've just started seeing someone new and we started getting down to it the other night and it happened again (ed). I was nervous but initially I was fine and when I tried to start sex she had some problems which we got over after which time I noticed my e disappearing and the old problems started all over again. I don't think her problems helped things but think it was totally me and worried that the p has struck again.

Does anyone have any advice for how long it takes to get it back when you've fallen off the wagon. I did no p, m, o for 6 weks last time and it worked great but not sure I can wait 6 more weeks again. As I've only been back on p for a few hours a week for the last month will it mean it will be quicker to reboot given I rebooted two months ago and was fine.

Feeling really annoyed with myself but being single was just too hard without some kind of stimulation. I swear I've learnt my lesson this time. Twice bitten thrice shy!!

Any advice gratefully received.
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Does it happen to you sometimes that you're browsing for something and you accidentally see some porn? Like on torrent sites and stuff like that?
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Not sure if that question is to me. If it is then no I have to admit to have to have gone looking for it but it was fairly soft stuff which got a little harder but only women, not guys involved in the p. I had some good advice from palpeteit on another board who said that the strength of the p has little to do with it as your brain can't distinguish between hard or soft p. It just aware of the rush it gives you and the dopamine surge.

I'm interested if anyone has actually fallen off the wagon and how it affected them second time around.
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my special lady friend challenge me to a whole year of no looking at porn. think can I do that?
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I am 34 YO and OMG im am so relieved that this is not me! I just tried to have sex with me GF for the forst time this weekened and twice i went limp shortly after penetration.  i am so frustrated i even tok 1/2 a cialis that morning but it didnt help :(  i am a chronic masterbater bt in light of this happening I have only done it 2 times in 2 weeks. even with this, would viagra or cialis help me?
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I am 34 YO and OMG im am so relieved that this is not me! I just tried to have sex with me GF for the forst time this weekened and twice i went limp shortly after penetration.  i am so frustrated i even tok 1/2 a cialis that morning but it didnt help :(  i am a chronic masterbater bt in light of this happening I have only done it 2 times in 2 weeks. even with this, would viagra or cialis help me?
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I also have no problems keeping an erectionn when she gives me a handjob or oral, its just when we are about to have sex i just lose it :(
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Porn contributed to ruining my marriage. Dude (a Kiwi accountant) had been doing it for so long that 1) he revealed that he became bored with one woman "once he had seen her walking around the house for awhile"; 2) he had to inject some kind of minimal emotional energy into the act and didn't like having to do that; 3) he had to take another human being's responses into account in the act instead of just his own. All this (I overlooked the PE he suffered from because I thought it was just some innocent physical problem - in retrospect, I think that was linked to the porn too, actually) I found out after marriage, pregnancy, etc. when I found his stash, which he had been "working on" instead of, well, working to feed his family.  Of course I became angry,which he used as an excuse to further avoid sex, continue with the porn and take up weed as well. It lasted a miserable 7 years, what a waste of my life. He did not manage to complete an online 12-step type course. He became accustomed to the smorgasbord of "shopping for the shot he could finish to" and his computer HD was stuffed with images of all kinds. He looked for younger and younger girls and more and more graphic images. He looked for better and better ways to hide the stuff from anyone who happened to use the PC (including my kids from previous marriage). He had to shout obscenities and inject ridiculous power dynamics into our sex in order to bring up the stim level of our sex for him (and I am not an ugly or inexperienced person, in fact I taught him a lot of tricks he didn't even know before). I am glad to be rid of Wanker Dude, but now he has some new girl he's with. She's definitely pornworthy, and a former escort as I hear, so maybe that is what he needs...but I don't think that matters because it's all about the stim. Our son has said that he has seen his dad looking at P at night, but Dude said they were pop-ups. Yea right. LOL. I personally think once you're addicted to that stuff, there's never a clean break, and once New Girl is actually living with him  24/24 and maybe even pregnant and overworked or jiggling a rug rat on her knee or "needing him to pay her attention" or in some other unattractive unpornworthy state, she'll catch him at it some night or find his extensive collection, and the whole misery will start again if she refuses to accept it. From what I hear, she is more emotionally high maintenance than I ever was, so I hope he has changed and learned... because I feel bad that my kid might have to go through it all over again, if he is living with them at that time. Me? I'm VERY happily single and have dated some really nice healthy people, and I think if a couple can consensually use erotica to make their relationship more exciting, they should go for it. If it isolates a guy and makes him dysfunctional because it's some kind of nasty secret addiction (mine used to say "do you expect me to read the same book over and over again?", that was what a physical relationship "was" to him), well, that is not a good thing! Just my two bits - from bitter experience. Dude was a dud!
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Wow, I'm not alone!!!  That in itself makes me feel a bit better, I've felt so alone, so ashamed and so embarrassed.  

About me, I'm 33, in good shape, work out most days, eat healthy and am considered by most to be an attractive guy. I have no medical issues other than the anxiety and depression caused by this but I haven't taken any meds because I've heard they make things worse!

I'm absolutely addicted to P and M as there is not a day that goes by (unless I'm passed out drunk) that I don't at least jerk off once and many days I do it 2 or 3 times, sometimes in a matter of a half hour!  Other times I can sit in bed and watch P for hours on my laptop and maintain a rock hard **** the whole time!  When I do M there is absolutely always P watching involved and I agree that what gets me going has become more and more hardcore over the years.   Just a pic of a girl, even smokin hot does nothing now, I need the video, I need to hear the girl telling the guy to treat her like a dirty little ***** as she screams or it needs to be 2 girls!  It wasn't always like this though.

It started harmlessly when I was 11 or 12, I found my dad's porn tapes and became hooked.  I started staying up late to watch them and we even had channels that played porn so I'd watch that too!  By the time I was 15 or 16 I started to get some chances with real girls.  At first even just getting a real girl topless was huge and I'd practically wanna blow my load after just touching her ****.  

Eventually I got laid for the first time when I was 16 and the girl I was with was hot and willing to do whatever so P an M took a back seat because I was getting the real thing most days.  I broke up with that girl when I was 18 and then had to rely on picking up different girls as much as I could and because I wasn't getting some every day I began to revert to my old ways of watching porn movies and jerking off.   Most of the time I could still do okay when with a real girl but this was when the addiction started to kick in.

When I was 21 I met my next long term girlfriend and at first things were awesome (and I gave up p and M for her) but after a year or so together she just started to lose interest in sex altogether so I reverted back to my old ways.  We were together 7 years and by the end anything sexual between us was rare to say the least and I had just resigned myself to the fact my sex life was my hand and my little porn ****** online.  My self esteem was shot, my own gf was not interested in me, I'd gotten out of shape and so I believed that nobody else would either. I think she even knew and didn't even care although we never talked about it.

After that relationship, I started working out and I had my first chance to get laid a couple weeks later and that was when I realized I was having some difficulties.  The girl was not super hot so I just attributed it to that and nerves but in the back of my mind I was nervous because other than the odd hand job from my ex I hadn't actually had sex in 3 or 4 years!  

I was only single for a few months before I met my next long term girlfriend and she was smokin hot but was religious and wanted to wait which I actually was okay with because she still was okay with fooling around and doing most everything else.  This allowed me to not deal with the issue and so I still used P and M daily.  With her, I had some difficulties getting it up and certainly if I did get it up I had issues keeping it up but I always did a great job of satisfying her with my fingers or tongue so she really liked that and overall it seemed to work for us.  We did have sex a few times (when I could get it up) but I never lasted long.  She was okay without my using a condom so usually I was able to get it just hard enough to last a few minutes at best but most of our sexual experiences were oral or handjobs.  

Sometimes she would give me a handjob that was close to the feeling of my own hand and the sight of her doing that made me have good orgasms but blow jobs and intercourse never really worked and for the hand job to work she had to do it just the right way otherwise nothing as well. Of course I'd still use P and M daily and never had any issues at all throughout this entire time when on my own.

This past spring we broke up and since then I've dated many girls and I've noticed the same issues whenever I get into a sexual situation with them.  I get very scared I won't be able to satisfy them or perform and many times try and avoid the whole situation all together but there have been 3 or 4 girls I've ended up in bed with and it just hasn't been a good experience. I'm so scared I won't get it up or won't keep it up long enough and I'm petrified they may want to use a condom which will kill whatever little erection I may have.  Each of those times I either had very short sex and usually been flaccid within minutes or managed to satisfy the girl orally or with my fingers and just lied to her and said "I'm all about pleasuring you baby" or some other b.s like that.

Now, I've met a new girl and I really like her.  She's super cute and we really click and I can see it turning into a relationship.  We have been intimate once and I didn't so much as even get hard for a second.  I've got a date with her in 3 nights so that's what brought me to this site.  I was trying to see what might be wrong with me.  

After reading this I know for sure it's my p and m addiction.  I usually spend 3 hours a day doing P and M before bed and I absolutely look forward to it throughout the day.  What you guys on here have said makes so much sense to me.  I agree that I'm totally dissensitized to real girls and that's why when even a hot girl is telling me to **** her I just can't get it up.  What I want is for that girl to dance for me and talk dirty to me and let me watch her so I can jerk off to that.  

I can't feel nothing when penetrating an actual girl or when getting a ******** and I also agree fully that it's because I'm so used to doing it myself and when I do it myself I do it hard and fast and with no lube.

So anyways, I admit fully I've got a huge problem and I want to fix it.  I want to get back to enjoying sex with real girls and I'm gonna try and quit P and M cold turkey.  I actually found this site yesterday but was just reading it which means after I make it through tonight I'll be 2 days free of P and M.  

Last night was impossible but I somehow resisted my temptations and didn't touch myself or turn on some porn.  Interestingly I woke up with morning wood for the first time in a long, long time.  I also haven't had wet dreams in years either. Anyways, wish me luck and I'll give updates as I progress in my battle to get to where I want to be.
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Hey guys,

I'm a 22yro virgin for the past couple months I've been trying to quit M and P all together. I've been addicting to M since I was basically 14 and I continue through the years 1-3 times a day, everyday for many years; now I'm 22yro and I want to quit!! The most difficult addict is the M which leads to P and when they blend together it becomes an uncontrollable addiction. This addiction has affected me physically and mentally to the point I'm hating it when I'm committing this awful act but yet I can't seem to stop. The M has affected my penis skin condition and shape I'm not too proud and I'm embarrass to show it to anyone including girls. I've notice my penis getting softer and erection becoming weaker and weaker. I remember when I was 14-18 I could ram my penis through solid metal that's how hard I was; now it probably couldn't penetrate paper.. I'm also having difficulty peeing it takes couple of seconds to let my stream out even after hours of O or days without O. I hope the problem will be fix in couple weeks if not then I'll have to see a doctor.

I've stop M and P for couple days before and I felt great and my mind was clearing up then I started becoming horny and getting the urge to M and view P.. I've failed countless times but this time it's different because I'm in love with a beautiful girl and I don't want to become PD in my early 20's and I've notice my erection getting weaker and weaker as written above.

I've installed K9 and let my cousin input a filter password that I can't figure out blocking out the porn and there isn't anything I can do about it. I'll activate the web guard filter back into my phone and eliminate porn completely and unable to have access to it.

I know P will be the easiest to conquer considering I won't have any access to it and I'll acknowledge it. The M is something more addictive than P but I know with my girl support, I'll overcome the sensation and urge of wanting to M, and I won't stay in the bathroom for long because I know it'll create temptation. It seems I've everything figured out but it's easier said than done..

I'll update my progress everyday and I hope I'll have supporters behind me cheering me on while I recover and live a free P and M life.. Thank you for everything guys!!    
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Im currently at 22 days of no pmo, and im seeing some results already. Night erections and morning ones to. Im seeing this girl now and told her about my problem and she is cool with it, wants to help me out. is it ok for me to please her? I just want to giver her what she wants and make her feel good so she doesn't have to suffer
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right now I am on my 6th day no PMO. The "not watching" the porn part seems pretty easy. Its the masturbation that's the challenge. I think the secret to not masturbation is NEVER touching or playing with your penis. Also some mental support could be helpful. for example, my female friend challenge me to go 30 days w/out PMO so that makes me focus harder.
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I'm currently on day 2 without any PMO and I feel great :D! This morning I woke up without any underwear or shorts on and I had a massive morning wood. I'm still trying to figure out how I woke up without any pants or underwear on??

2 days is pretty easy but I know it'll keep getting harder and harder. I've been taken vitamin B6, multivit super complex, and ginseng I'm feeling great. This is the type of mood and attitude I desire and my mind is starting to clear up but there's still a lot to do and my recovery has only started..

I told my GF about my situation and she got angry at me but understood that I am a male specimen and things happen sometimes. She's supportive and wants me to quit completely that's a great motivation.

I'll write again next week, or when I'm feeling the urges and have to lose myself in my thoughts that seems to work... This is the first challenge I've given myself in almost a year, and by far the toughest.  
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Wow, I'm glad I found this forum because at least I know I'm not the only one with this problem. Its hard for me to admit but I do have ED because of my addiction to P and M. I know I have to stop watching P and M because it has gotten to a point where I installed adult web filters on my own computer and I broke down those filters just so I could get a quick fix. I realized today I had a serious problem. I am addicted to P and M and it has effected my sex drive...

Okay, this is ground zero (8pm) - 8 week goal - god help me.

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So tonight will be my fourth night in a row with no P and no M.  I do miss it and want to do it but have stopped myself because I can't bare the thought of another chance with a live girl being ruined because I can't even get it up again!  The main changes I've noticed so far are morning wood (pretty good morning wood actually) on 2 of the 3 mornings and when I went out for dinner with a girl I'm seeing tonight and we made out a bit fully clothed in my car I actually felt my **** move a bit, this is new because 3 nights ago with same girl and both of us were naked I could not even get myself slightly hard for a second!  I've still got a long road to go but I'm happy with these 2 little results so far!
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NothingSacared,

Sorry to hear about your failure on the web filtering. The first time I put a web filter it helped out and I stopped watching P for about a month until I started breaking it down, or letting few sites gain 15min access. The problem is you know the web filter's password that's a problem; what if you told someone or your close relative to input a password and adjust the filter to block all porn and adult related sites that may cause you to relapse. I had to do that couple days ago because I knew if I set up the web filter myself and had the knowledge of the password I'd be right back into watching porn and tearing down the web filter.. The only way possible to watch porn is reinstalling windows too much hassle and by the time I'm done the urge would be gone.

I advise everyone that wants to quit P to let someone input a password that you'll never know and tell them to never tell you. The goal is to quit P forever and to never go back to that dark hole that consumed you. If you've a smart phone I advise to turn on the web filter in the carrier website to block all related porn & adult sites.

K9webprotection is very good and free!

Silentmisery,

I read couple post back in the 1-400 that you shouldn't have any physical contact with female for at least 2 weeks including making out. That's going to get your hormones excited which you would want to jerk off after you get blue balls because the goal is to stop P/M/O.. You don't want to put yourself in position that'll make you want to M or watch P, and that girl is making your hormones go wild. I'd advise to wait 2 weeks after you stopped  M/P then reintroduce your brain to your woman. The last thing you want to think about with her is sex right now.
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I'm on day #7 of no PMO and shockingly it doesn't seem that hard to do (in my opinion)... As long as I stay away from watching porn and randomly playing with my penis I believe I can avoid masturbation. But I believe the bet I made with my female friend that I can go 30 days without PMO is what keeping me going. Plus I wear a manhood on my penis at night so I think that's  helping me thru the process too....
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Day one complete, I figure day one is the easiest ...I wonder how I would feel on day 8. I can do this. No P, no M, and no O
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I am 22 years old. 5'10" weighing 180 lbs. I go the gym regularly but I smoke and on weekend I consume alcohol. I never knew I had ED I still think I dont. I wake up with erections, I get rock hard random erections while in class or staring at a hot chick. But a few months ago, while in foreplay with a sex-mate I noticed my penis wouldnt stay erect and went in a flaccid state. She wasnt smoking hot but I wanted to have sex at the time. My girlfriend however is a different story. I feel turned on even when I skype her and I get rock hard when I see part of her body. But that rock hard erection doesnt last long. Recently, I started to witness less  firmer erections. I watched p and M for the past 4 years. Sometimes its 2 times per day sometimes its every few days. But after reading most of the posts here I promised my self I will stop for at least 2 months. I will workout and regain my energy. What supplements would aid and bringing back my sexual drive. I feel really frustrated because my girlfriend is waiting for me while im working abroad and I dont want to go back and dissappoint her.
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Hi Guys, I just wanted to say thanks for sharing all your different experiences here online, it has certainly helped me to know that there are others out there with the same problem.

Im 20 and have been M since my early teens, mainly to soft P at first but as i got older this quickly developed into a compulsive addiction where at its worse i would be M between 1 - 3 times a day but it would vary.

Like others here the P i was watching began to just not arouse me enough but lead me to seek out more and more unusual P to satisfy my need for arousal, to the point where as a straight guy I was even watching gay P, even though I do not feel at all attracted to men or aroused by the thought of gay sex in day to day life.

I feel that this is has become the lynch-pin (so to speak) in my problem with ED, as it has led to confusion and questioning of my sexuality, and P in general has left me pretty much numb to the thought of sex. This adds anxiety and depression which then causes ED which then creates a paradox to more of the aforementioned it is a nightmare!

I also now believe that too much M is dangerous to your sexual health as it becomes a habit that is used to kill time or for a quick burst of pleasure and makes the sensation of orgasm worthless.

Having said this I have not M or watched P for at least a week and plan not to for as long as possible and in terms of watching P, never again. its not worth it. The results trickle in slowly it seems, my desire for women is increasing and will only grow stronger. Still suffering with ED at the moment however i had this problem a few months ago but my sexuality saw somewhat of a resurgence when i "coincedentally" didnt watch porn for a few weeks.

Anyways Appologies for rambling!! felt i should share in case my situation is simialr to someone elses. I also found that this article really helped me.It has already been posted but what the hell!

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201002/straight-men-gay-porn-and-other-brain-map-mysteries?page=2

Best of luck to all you guys.
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Made it a full week now without any M or P.  I'm finding it hard especially at night when I'm in bed or at home alone.  I haven't given in though and won't but I do miss it and don't notice it getting easier yet.  Positive results are still the same, morning wood most mornings now which I didn't have before but certainly no spontaneous erections at all (mind you I've kept sexual stimulation to a minimum).  Still very nervous about the prospects of being with the girl I'm seeing and failing but just going to tell myself it's the fear and anxiety that's stopping me and not any actual problem with me down there lol!
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I have a question for the guys who have recovered. Your first time with a women after giving up P/M for 8+ weeks, did you find you ejaculated pretty quickly? I was with a girl after giving it all up recently, and I had no problem with the erection, but I got majorily excited and I just couldn't hold it back very long. I was lucky if I went 5 minutes. Has this happened to anyone else after their recovery?
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On day 3, what are you suppose to feel? I feel absolutely nothing but anxiety that this is not going to work and I feel I can't feel anything down there; it feels just like a extra piece of anatomy that's just hanging there, no purpose other then urinating.

Normal?  
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My wife and I split up (after 9 years of marriage) over 2 months ago and I decided to make an abrupt and sudden change in my behavior and routine so that I don't make the same mistakes again. Too make a long story short, a long period of unemployment and financial struggles changed us both. Unfortunately, we drifted apart and eventually became nothing more than roommates over the past two years. I've cut out junk food and I now exercise daily. I've lost 25 pounds and lowered my cholesterol score by 71 points to 168. The doctor was so impressed that he took me off the cholesterol medication. Physically, I feel great.

I first noticed this thread a few months ago. I am 37 years old and started masturbating to porn about 20 years ago. I have now gone about 2 months (8 weeks) without masturbating or looking at porn! I wake up with an erection probably 3 days a week. I sometimes find myself fantasizing about meeting a girl and I notice that my penis begins to get sensation and sometimes even begins to enlarge without me touching it. I immediately begin doing or thinking about other things when I notice this happening.

I've got a huge concern though. I'm noticing that there is now a discharge in the toilet after #1 and #2. There is no discharge when I'm sleeping (I don't think) and it doesn't happen every time I use the toilet. The discharge is milky white to pale yellow in color and has the consistency of ejaculate. There is no real pain involved but there is a delay to urinate on occasion, which I believe is caused by this discharge momentarily blocking the urine from escaping. This is starting to freak me out a little. I've never had an STD and haven't had sex since... well I can't remember. :)

Should I be concerned? Is this a problem? Should I be checked for prostate problems?
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Been reading your comments and i just started my "fast" on no porn or wanking 5 days ago..my ? is,i have been on medication(s)(L-arginine,L-lysine,Horny Goat Weed,Zinc50,multivitaminsOyster extract),all products from GNC as i read in a forum that it helps,but the changes i notice is the color of my pee and i excrete quite more than often..so i need your advice on if the effect on me is normal or do i need to quit these drugs?PLEASE,YOUR IMMEDIATE ASSISTANCE/ANSWERS/REPLIES IS NEEDED URGENTLY..Thank God for this forum.
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I mean,i take these drugs to better my reproductive organ,so i need to know if i am on the ryt track or not?
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I take fish oil, calcium, and a multivitamin everyday. I don't take the supplements that you mention. (Should I?) I have also noticed that both the color of my urine has darkened slightly and the frequency in which I urinate has increased. I know nothing about medicine, but since we have similar symptoms and don't take the same supplements, I'd wager that the supplements aren't the cause. Could someone verify this please?

Thanks for making this condition known and helping people like me correct it and improve our mental and physical health!
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I say leave them alone. I have tried those pills in the past and in my opinion all they did was start to give me sharp pains in my inner thigh and groin section after a month or so taking them. And guess what they didn't make my erections any better. I say the best solution is quitting PMO for good, definitely no more P and maybe M moderately after you gone at least 2  months no PMO.
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Hey guys,


Im on day 5 now. NO p or M. Believe it or not I dont miss P at all. I see everyone mentioning the 8 week plan. Where can I find it? What herbs/supplements would you guys recommend? Im taking korean ginseng, l-arganine, and steel libido.
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Well I thought i was in the same boat as everyone here for a while, so i completely stopped P & M for over a 2 months with no change in my libido.  It was almost like that part of my body completely stopped functioning. Even receiving blow jobs (my absolute favorite) wouldnt get me hard.  It was really scary. It was even difficult to stay hard during masturbation.  After i noticed no change, i started to take supplements to counter act the effect, but this still did not help.  Started going to the gym and doing a lot of cardio, still nothing.  I was freaking out and couldnt figure it out.
Then i read something about how rogaine (5% minoxidil) can cause different types of side effects (http://www.regrowhair.com/general-hair-loss-topics/common-questions/does-minoxidil-cause-sexual-side-effects/), so i stopped using it (was using it for about 2  years).  And Bam! It was like a switch was flipped back to the on position and everything started to work normal again. Im about 85% back to my normal self. Im still holding off on the P & M for a while, in case it is that.
I just wanted to share my story for the people that are not seeing any improvements after removing P&M.  Really examine your daily routine, because it could be something your using on a daily basis.  It doesnt necessary have to be something you ingest, for me it was something that i put on my scalp, which effected my DHT and screwed up my libido.  On a side note, Rogain does not state that it can cause sexual side effects, so really examine everything that you use (medication, foods, herbal, routine, etc...) and dont just blame porn and/or masturbation.  Hope this helps some of you.
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That's pretty interesting about minoxidal, because several older studies used it to succesfully treat erectile dysfunction.
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I have a question, so after having the same problems as most of you mentioned and i pretty must stopped M, only 3 times in 4 weeks, and those 3 times were not to P, but i get morning wood all the time, and constantly get erections when im around my girl, it just goes limp when we are about to have sex, what i want to know is, yes im am trying to quit M all togethor for awhile, but should i also not allow my GF to give me a ** as well?
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This is not meant to be spam but i have found evil root to work better than what you have mentioned. www.evil-root.com
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tomorrow will mark day #14 no PMO and I must say my body feels fine. I don't feel the urge to watch porn or masturbate. I also have not slipped up and started touching my penis for no particular reason. I'm also receiving encouragement from my special female friends so that's a plus. I do admit my penis has been looking fuller lately though. I'm strongly thinking about leaving porn and masturbation for good. I want only my special female friend to play with my penis and make me feel special. I also think this will make our intimacy come closer together. Pray for me...
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Last night I woke up with wetness all over my pants and underwear and I checked to see if I ejaculated.. I clean myself up and felt cheated out of my progress and said '**** it' then finished it off.. I'm back on day 1 on M&O but I'll keep P the hell away from me!!! I was on day 9 then this happens :( for the past week I've been waking up with a boner.. I knew eventually that sperm will leak out slowly but I never doubt that I'd be ejaculating in my sleep... I now have to control myself in my sleep FML!!

I'll restart my M&O no big deal and day 9 was easy to get too..
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Ok, I'm on Day 5 or 6 and I'm feeling the urge to M and watch P. It's like the tissue in that area just want to be simulated. It's driving me crazy because it feels like it's telling me to turn off adult controls and look at porn. What's worst is that I'm craving it and I have no erection too.
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I've had that too. It *****. The libido comes back and I wank with barely a hard on. Need to push farther. It takes time to reset all this.
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I am post divorce too and something I'm watching out for is depression which is also an erection killer. I think I have some combo of depression/porn desensitization so things take time. But if there is one thing this forum shows is that we're all not alone and we can get back to "normal."
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I relapsed after 9 days yesterday so i said i would start blogging as it might help. Porn i have been watching is getting stranger and stranger and i have had trouble getting erections with women as of this year. Im 24 and only had sex once and i think the porn is the problem as i have been happy to go home on a saturday night and watch porn and not care about pulling women. So no PMO for as long as i can and hopefully no more porn ever.
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Blogging does help and if your tempted, just go to this forum! I'm only one week in and I'm starting to feel it all the time. We can get through this 8 weeks!!!
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Is there a female that you knows you use to watch porn and masturbate? If so, ask her if she think you can go 2 months without PMO, and she will make it a challenge for you. My point is... when it comes to proving someone else wrong the challenge is more easier to accomplish. Right now, you're only fighting yourself.
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i AM 63 AND HAVE BEEN SCREWING WATCHING PORN AND JACKING OFF SINCE i WAS 12 YEARS OLD. I AM HEALTHIER THEN ANYONE I KNOW HALF MY AGE, SO ALL I CAN SAY IF IT FEELS GOOD GO FOR IT, I PERSONALLY THINK YOU ARE BOT HAVING AS MUCH FUN IN LIFE AS I. CHOW BABY
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I'm impressed.......that you are having so much fun in life that you troll medical sites letting everyone know how your penis is doing.

To others: Let's say that bill is telling the truth (pretty sad that a 63 year old measures his worth by his ****), he did not spend his teen years masturbating to high-speed, hard-core, endlessly novel videos, several times a day. He did not have multiple windows, and he wasn't masturbating with his left hand while his right clicked around for the perfect shot. What today’s’ Internet porn can do to the dopamine system is clear, especially if one starts (early teens) when the brain is at its height of rewiring ability and dopamine levels.

Bill had access to once a month playboy, if anything, in 1961. There was little other porn until he hit twenty, and his brain wiring was at that point largely formed. If he was 12 today and saw more naked babes in 30 minutes, then he experienced from 1961 – 1971, his would be quite a different story. You guys are stuck in an evolutionary mismatch.

For more, see this Psychology Today article:
Why Shouldn’t Johnny Watch Porn If He Likes? Sexual brain training matters—especially during adolescence.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201110/why-shouldn-t-johnny-watch-porn-if-he-likes
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I am very happy to have found this forum.  I have been dealing with the same problems and feelin very strange about them.  I've been watching porn since age 18 heavily and masturbating to ultra kinky versions of such.  

I'm 25 now and have never really had a full sexual encounter where i had sex for the whole time and ejaculated and I've met a girl who i think will probably the one i want to marry, but i can't maintain a erection for long enough to please her.

I watch porn and masturbate daily i would say 1.5 times per day is my average for the last 7 years or so..  I've been trying to cut back, but its tough but, I think in order for my relationship to workout, I'm gonna need to do so.... So I'm gonna try to either stop w/ p and m completely or attempt to cutback to once per week to start w/, no kinky stuff.
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Ahhh, I'm ten days in and my hormones are going absolutely crazy!!! Is this the withdrawal period?!!? I feel like my urges are going crazy and I'm going from no erection to soft erection by the most simplest stimuli.

Does it get easier soon?!!?
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Whatever you do, just don't play with your penis. If you start to touch it just to touch it, it will definitely lead to you touching it more than back to masturbation. You also need some support not just from this forum but from an actual person who believes PM is not normal and believes PM ruin relationships. You need to be challenged by someone. Challenging yourself is not the answer. Like me, I have a female friend that I really like and my goal is to please her so quittin MP should help me to reach my goal. So what I am saying is I'm not stopping PMO for myself. I'm stopping for someone special and that makes a difference.
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im 17. when im at school (bording) im so into my daily routine i dont even think about p/m.. i can go weeks without, but when i come home,. i have my own room, internet, laptop, and nobody to interact with. i get bored and i turn to p/m.. basically its the free time and aloneness thats the problem. even if i did have a hobby there would always be the time where you maybe sit down to watch tv and there is nothing on.. i dont kno what to do ,so for now im staying clear of home, which is sad.
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im 17. when im at school (bording) im so into my daily routine i dont even think about p/m.. i can go weeks without, but when i come home,. i have my own room, internet, laptop, and nobody to interact with. i get bored and i turn to p/m.. basically its the free time and aloneness thats the problem. even if i did have a hobby there would always be the time where you maybe sit down to watch tv and there is nothing on.. i dont kno what to do ,so for now im staying clear of home, which is sad.
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I quit PMO for 28 days and managed to have sex and reach orgasm with a woman for the very first time in my life. I'm still healing and will continue to avoid watching porn and masturbation.

Read my blog here:

http://***************.blogspot.com/
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so give more details. what about you now made you able to have great sex and reach orgasm with this girl?
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I gave up PMO for 28 days. Started lifting weights and doing a bit of cardio 3 times a week. Took multivitamins, omega 3 and gingko biloba/ginseng supplements.

I wouldnt say the sex was 'great' I'm still recovering, akin to your first steps after breaking a leg. I still expect there to be ups and downs and this process isn't linear.

I plan on restricting the amount of times I will orgasm for a few weeks/months - like what ZionLion555  posted about on Sep 23, 2011
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First I'd like to say my heart goes out to all the women who have posted bc of their significant others p/m addition, I know what youre going thru and im really going crazy...
second Id like to ask what does the -O- stand for that everyone is refering to?
next, our story...
my bf and I have been seeing eachother for over a year, we are both 28. we have never been the couple that had a lot of sex, not because of my wishes, but sometimes we would once a month in the begining, then it got more frequent to about 3 times a week or so, then after we got serious and we fell in love and he moved in it dropped dramatically. Especially after he had his internet and cable turned on, the pron usage was everyday, and multiple viewing. I caught on, and it HURT. I confronted him and he said he would stop. As far as I know - he stopped the internet usage, but, he continued to put it on in the middle of the night, while we were watching tv, like in between shows he would put it on. and the most mind boggling part - not to even get off in any way - just to watch it. So I started seaching the internet and I found hundreds of articles that opened my eyes to whats really going on here. I told him what I found and he didnt quite listen with an open ear, and he didnt admit he had a problem, but he did agree to stop watching the porn. I havnt found anything on the computer, and I havnt seen him put it on the tv, he states he hasnt watched it, and I hope he is telling the truth, it's been about a week clean for him as he says. However, I didnt discuss masterbation (masturbation) bc I hadnt learned that was a part of it, and HE IS NOT open to talking about it. We havnt had sex in 3 weeks and Im taking it very personally, I cant sleep at nights and I cry every day bc I feel like theres something wrong with me and that his unwillingness to talk about it will never allow it to get better. I ask for sex and he gets mad, if he tries to mess around he usually doesnt get hard, or cant sustaing erection. and even if he does get a random erection for no reason he still doesnt want to have sex or fool around. I am lonely and feel unwanted and rejected by my loved one. I dont know where to go to get myself any help, and I dont know how to try to seriously talk to him about it because everytime I ask him to read the material I have organized for him or to discuss it or even just us having sex he flips out. I dont know what to do anymore, if it wasnt for this our relationship would be so good. At one point this porn addiction led him to basically cheat on me with real life womens pictures and videos from our area. I just want to help him. We cant fight this battle seperately. I'm struggling and I dont know where to turn or what to do to help him or how......
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the "o" stands for orgasm...

You need to refer your bf to this forum and let him read for himself, that way he can start to relate to what we already posted.

If he doesn't refer to this forum, I say don't mention having sex with him for 30 days and see if he sexually make a move towards you himself. If he doesn't do anything for 30 days, there is your proof that he has a serious PMO problem and it needs to be corrected before you leave the relationship. No man should not be able to go 30 whole days without making sexual advances to his pretty gf.
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No man should be able to go 30 whole days without making sexual advances to his pretty gf.
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He deff does have the problem, every sign and symtom ive ever read, he has. But I told him what I learned last night and we did talk briefly about it =) which made me very happy, that we finally were able to talk at least a little about it, I think now that he has obstained from using it and he is seeing that he cant function that reality may be "hitting him" and he is realizing there is a problem and hopefully will continue to open up little by little. I did tell him about the forum I found, and I hope he will check it out, although I have noticed he doesnt use the computer anymore unless Im around, im woundering if its a self control method, idk but Ill print some of this out for him also.
Before I read this forum, i had only read articles about the sign and symtoms (symptoms) of porn addiction, and how it destroys lives of everyone involved and the horrible roads it leads to. BUT, I didnt know what would happen after the man quit -  so when my bf quit it, I thought that he would start wanting to be intimate with me again, and I was kinda pushy over it and took it very personal thinking he just didnt want to touch me, and  that wasnt the case at all. I was blind to the fact that he was now pleaseing me in other ways and not asking or getting anything in return, which SHOWS me that he is trying. And he wasnt able to "function" when I tried to reciprocate, which lead me to this website where I found the answers I needed to hear about what HE was going to go thru AFTER quitting.
Now that its in the open, and he knows I know he is suffering from ED, we both can be comfortable and now I know better not to pressure him or to take it personally....
But I am still wondering, if he does get hard, can we make use of it? And in what ways? I noticed some brief comments about him not mb'ing but can I do it for him? or what can or cant we do until the 2 month mark?
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5 days in of no pmo the longest iv lasted is 2weeks. Not getting any erections and the libido is low which is supposed to be normal. Really tink if i can last 3 weeks il be on the right track as after 2 weeks i was getting erections at just seeing some women in my local shop which never happens usually.
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I recommend the two of you go the 60 days of no sexual contact, maybe just some kissing and enjoying quality time together. In other words, pretend yall dating each other and getting to know each other for the first time. What your bf needs to do clear his mind from all the porn, masturbating and pressure of pleasing you sexually. He needs a fresh start. He needs to be serious about these 60 days too. No sneek peeking porn, no just playing around with his penis and no attempting sex with you when he knows he is not ready. After  60 days, the two of you enjoy a nice glass of wine, passionate making out and then go for the sex. His libido and mind should be different after 60 days of no PMO.
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tomorrow will mark my 21st day of no PMO and I must say I feel good about myself. I have no urge to watch porn and I have not occasionally start playing with myself which we all know leads to masturbation. I do wear a manhood at night tho that prevents me from feeling the sensation from my bedsheets or touching myself at night. As far as daydreams, I notice I daydream more about my special lady friend and I get erections from this the majority of the time. Sometimes I have porn flashbacks but that doesn't make me start looking for it on my computer. As far as me not having an orgasm for the last 3 weeks, I don't feel sexual tension and I sleep pretty good at night. I'm not tossing and turning in bed. My special lady friend is aware of what I am doing and she encourages and tells me to stay strong so that definitely helps too.
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I'm on day 7 and it feels like its been 10....  This blogging, I'm hoping will help me fight the urge... my lady deserves better than what i've been giving her so far in this relationship and I know it will be worth the wait..... all the hot girls i encounter at college everyday, make it very very hard.... to not resort to p or m i mean....  

I'm just wondering how long I should wait until i try to give it to her.... one guy said on here said 29 days, but then posted a link to his blog so he didn't seem legit.
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im on day 6 and feel fine its usually on a monday after drinking at the weekend that i get my urges to watch porn and masturbate. Hopefully by abstaining il get the real thing at the weekend from now on with porn use i just dont seem to have the same interest as my friends in pulling women so hopefully things can change.
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I have read a lot of these comment and I have to say that in a way I am glad that my boyfriend is not the only one suffering from this. I don't find this situation funny or take it lightly.A lot of people men and women don't think that porn is an issue in a relationship but it really is. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and things haven't gotten better they have actually gotten worse. I didn't realize that he was addicted to porn until the first time that we had sex. He couldn't get turned on by anything. I at first chalked it up to inexperience and being scared because it was his first time ever having sex. But as time went on he couldn't get it up or keep it. He would actually lose the urge just touching me. He doesn't get turned on by looking at me dressed or undressed. Then he finally admitted that he had relied on porn to meet his needs for years. He would look at it to get off, or to just listen to, or do it just out of sheer board-em to pass the time. He also admitted doing it to the point that he would rub the skin off and make it bleed thinking it would stop the urges if he couldn't do it but it still didn't stop him. We have been to a few doctors they have run every test that they could and said the only thing they could find was that his testosterone was on the low side of normal. He has taken the ED pills which don't work on him. He has no feeling in it even when his has received oral he still can't feel it he has lost all sensations. The fantasy of porn has ruined him having a normal sex life. I am not sure of what he wants anymore. I have done things that he says he like to watch or hear from the porn and still no response. I will not put porn on in the bedroom because I am trying to break the habit so it is the real thing he wants not some fantasy girl from a movie or from a webcam. I will say I love him enough to stay and try to help him fix the problem. Believe me this is not easy on me because I know what I am missing he doesn't. And for you guys wondering NO I do not have the urge to cheat on him the thought never crosses my mind. I got into this relationship with him and knowing about the problem a few months into it I have stayed by his side ever since. I believe that if you truly love someone no mattering the problem you will find ways around it that make it work. Porn is just like any other addiction and you have to be supportive to help the addict stop not harp on it and make the situation worse because I found the more I said something the more he did it. Every chance he was away from me he did it. And then sorry to say the "dumb ***" would tell me he did starting a huge fight. Now that we live together there is no chance for him to do it. I will tell you that it hurts like hell to know that until he wants the real thing I have to deal with the fact that there is no sex. There are times when he starts something almost gets me there and stops because he lost the urge to do anything and I will tell you this is very frustrating. But I stay because I love him. I try not to blame myself for what is going on because I do know he loves me and I do know he is trying to fix this it takes a lot for a guy to go into the Dr. and tell them they can't preform or they have no sexual urges. I see the look on his face every time we go to a new Dr. So wither your a man or a woman and you have a porn addiction you will stop if you love someone enough. You will over come all the hurtles and obstacles that will come your way. The most important things to do is have someone who will support you and above all stay away from the porn because it can and it will ruin a relationship!
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Tomorrow at 8pm, I will hit my two week mark. It's been tough - I can't get P out of my mind. In class today, I was looking at a girl and my mind just went into P fantasy. I'm having more and more erections which is a good thing but I still feel like it's a little soft. The need to O is killing me. I feel like a two week release would be so good but I'm fighting through, I want to finish this 8 week journey and even go on throughout the rest of the year.
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I'm on day 33 of no P/M.
Yesterday I had successful sex twice, this is following my first ever climax through penetrative sex on day 28.

If anyone is doubting whether quitting P/M sorts out your erectile dysfunction, please don't it, actually does work.

It was only weeks ago I was almost resigning myself to a life without proper sex. Now I feel almost reborn and have a lot of catching up to do.

However many weeks each individual person needs, its a small sacrifice to fix an important aspect of your life, honestly the first couple of weeks are the toughest, after that, it flew by for me.
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Has anyone felt pain in the base of their penis while ejaculating or a tightening of the muscle between the testicles and anus. Also if i flex said muscle, i can push my soft erection to being harder(still not full) which i can only hold for a few seconds before i have to unclench the muscle. thoughts?
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Porn is extremely harmful for mens sexual health. Porn can weaken your sexual performance. Its better to go to your girlfriend  than to watching porn and masterbating (masturbating).
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It's easier to get over your PM addiction if you have a girlfriend. When you are single and don't know where your next orgasm is coming from you may find yourself going back to masturbation again. I don't have a gf but I do have a special friend that I like so much that I am willing to leave PM alone for good just to make her feel sexually special at all times. So my advice for all you single men out there is to find you a special girl.
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Avatar_m_tn
So I had something weird happen after my 100+ day abstinence that gave me a bit of a scare.  I developed these 2 weird lumps under the skin on the base of my shaft about the size of pebbles.  I'm not sure but I think they were plugged veins or something but they didn't hurt at all and they were like a lighter skin color but very noticeable especially when hard.  

Whenever I showered i would rub and massage the area and they ended up going away in a couple weeks.  I wonder if since I didn't ejaculate for over 3 months that the sperm was just going other places and got stuck there ??? Also i never had one wet dream that whole time either.

---

Oh and if anyone's wondering I did beat this problem...for a bit anyway.  I made it 82 days and then finally had some great sex.  It was a one nighter but it was fantastic (god damn mind blowing actually, better than when i lost my V) and no ED problems at all!

However lol...I felt pretty cocky after that thinking I was totally cured and within a couple days I was jerking off again.  First to just thoughts and then not long after I was binging on porn again everyday!  Guys whatever you do don't let yourself go back to it!  Even if you think you'll just do it once, dont!  It was just so f'n easy to get back into the same old habits and ****** state of mind...just like a crack head ffs

Anyway i'm back on the wagon now, day 5 and one thing i'll say is this time around its not nearly as hard to abstain.  I know I can do it, i know i'll be better again and the relapse definitely didn't set me back to square one.  Good luck guys
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Avatar_m_tn
I don't know what caused the weird lumps, but it wasn't pserm being trapped due to not masturbating. It doesn't work that way.

Maybe you can find a balance with masturbation. Instead of apllying the "all or none" thinking to masturbation/ejaculation, apply it to porn, or any visual stimuli. Simply make up your mind that imagination only is the new rule for masturbating.
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I'm a middle aged guy and I can't remember a time when I didn't masturbate.  Even really young I used to lay on my stomach and kind of dry hump the floor.  I didn't know what I was doing, it just felt good, and was eventually shocked when I had my first orgasm.  I think it was just a way to escape, like any other drug.  Jerking off was my drug and I'm still dealing with it today.
Without a doubt, chronic M has been the most self destructive behavior in my life.  It wasn't until my first girl friend in my early 20's did I realize that I wasn't able to perform.  I found this alarming, and on some level I did understand that it was connected to a life time of chronic M.  When I was in my early teens I popped off the top of my electric shaver and found a vibrating head, quite by accident.  I somehow got the idea to rub this vibrating device next to the sensitive part of my penis and I had an orgasm in seconds.  Of course I considered this a greatest discovery and I tried it again a few minutes later.  After several orgasms I had to stop.  I found after this point my hand just didn't do the trick anymore.  This was the start of my desensitization.  After years of M with anything that would vibrate on probably a daily basis, I became unable to maintain an erection with a woman.
My first girlfriend, if I can call her that, was particularly mean about it so I became terrified of trying again.  These are the days before Viagra.  However I did have another relationship and our sex life was just terrible.  She wasn't mean about it, but I could tell she was very confused and probably took it personal, like I didn't find her attractive.  That nightmare ended after she left me and I eventually went out with another woman that would be my first wife.  Again, our sex life was terrible.  I started to use Viagra at this point and kept it a secret from her, just out of shame.  Viagra does work for me, but you do need to take it in advance.  Since I was keeping this a secret, it was difficult to time it correctly and I had many failed attempts to have sex.  She eventually started seeing other men behind my back and the marriage ended painfully.  Recently my determination to get my M under control has strengthened and I feel inspired by all the other stories out there.  
Where am I at today? I do have a new girl friend and I continue to keep my Viagra use a secret.  Our sex life is fairly predictable in the sense that I know which days she's coming over.  You can pretty much set your watch by it.  I don't mind predictable since I can time my Viagra pill accordingly.  I feel I am in a position to make real progress now.  My goal is to give up M completely and just wait for the girlfriend to come over so we both have a great time together.  I consider our sex life pretty good today and she claims to be very happy.  We don't use lube so i know she must be turned on.
Porn has played a part in my M addiction, but since I started this addiction prior to the internet I can easily do without it.  However I did discover tumblr, which is one of those photo sharing sites, but I really wish I didn't.  I can search for that specific female physique I like the most and view a seemingly unlimited supply of photos.  After reading these posts yesterday I decided to delete all my tumblr favorites and move on.  

It's hard to believe some of you have been able to go 10, 20, 30 or more days without M.  I make it to day 5 and it just gets unbearable.  Problem is I go to bed every night, I wake up every morning, I take a shower every day.  These are prime time M moments.  It sounds funny but I just can't go that long without rubbing one out.  However the thought of having a normal functioning penis that gets erect during foreplay and love making keeps me going.  I have never felt that way in my life and its something I want more than anything.  The stupid thing is woman seem to like me, for whatever reason, and I have no problem getting a girl into bed.  The sad thing is how much help I need to make love.  Abstain a couple days prior and take a quarter of a Viagra pill and I'm 18 again.  My fear is that this position can make me complacent and I won't be motivated to go all the way.  I want to be successful like others have testified on this forum. I want to be normal and have spontaneous sex and not rely on a blue pill.  This eats away at me and it has probably effected me more than anything else.  I feel this M addiction defines me in a huge way and I suffer from self loathing. I don't want to think this way about myself and I am hopeful about turning this around.  I tell myself it's not too late and I hope that's true.  Perhaps the damage is done and I'll never be able to perform naturally.

Imagine a recovering alcoholic who has to carry around a six pack of beer every where he goes, but just can't drink it.  that would suck, but that's what M addicts have to deal with.  It's easy to say just don't M, but your fist and penis just happened to be perfectly aligned and you can "shoot up" any time you're alone.  It's just too easy to fall off the wagon.  This condition would probably be hilarious to many, and I would laugh too if it didn't f*** my life up so much.  I"m such a wanker but you all have given me hope.  30 days is going to be hell, but I'll still have sex with my current girlfriend so I think that will make things much easier.  I can't imagine doing this single.  I would probably adopt a M once a week strategy if I was single.  Anyways, thanks for sharing everyone.  I appreciate it and I wish you all the best of luck in facing your own demons.  Rambling on has helped me put this in perspective.  If I wasn't writing this I would be M right now.  I want to win.
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