Dealing with the outside world?

[Rena705]

I am feeling rather down today people...I feel as though I am not part of this world because I have been alone for so long, day after day, only the tv, radio, internet to keep me a part of this world and yet not...really.

I went to a "friends" house last night to play cards and my hubby decided he was too tired to go so he drove me over and I went in myself.  Immediately, I felt bare and out of place...sort of like a piece of a puzzle that doesn't fit.

My friends all work and have children and a life...I don't.  All I have is my illness and because of it I can't get out and have a life...unless of course I am with my hubby so really I am living my life through him.

Does anyone else out there have these feelings?  I always had good jobs before whatever this is knocked my feet out from under me..I was in the health care field so I had to be on the ball...at this point I don't think I will ever be able to do it again.  

I have nothing to talk about with other people other than my health problems because that is all I have!  Isn't that sick?  I think my "friends" think I am belly aching and whining when I talk about anything related to my health because I get cut off immediately and the subject is changed very quickly.  It seems rather rude to me...but I have nothing else to talk about other than subject's from the past and when I bring up things from the past which have been talked about before, they look at me as though I am mentally ill as well. I have memory problems and maybe I am not getting the story right but I thought that real friends would deal with it and move on...

I think that after last night, I won't be bothering to go see those friends ...I don't feel as though they would miss my company anyway and I wonder why I was invited over...maybe just to appease their conciousness...don't bother.  The couple that lived at the house were also planning to go to a nearby town to a wonderful fish and chip shop for lunch today and they invited all the other guests to go but they just invited them over my head and I was ignored like I was deaf and blind and incapable of knowing what was going on.  At that point I went downstairs, called a cab and left out the walk out basement door and came home...haven't heard anything from anyone...guess I know where I stand right?

I feel like I made a mistake by choosing the wrong friends in the first place, I thought they were friends but damn it hurts when you realize that you are on your own now....

[t_vic]

I just wanted to thank you for taking the time out to write me. And yes sir I did and do not know what MS is. I just thought I could help her from what I assumed was her depression. No sir, I wasn’t clear of how server her condition was but at the same time I knew she has one from what she had stated! Honestly, I just wanted her to feel better about her friends because I know sometimes hi hurt the ones I love and they get mad at me and never let me know till tension builds up and we are at each others throats. When we talk about our differences it makes us better and stronger! I just wanted her to see for sure if they are or aren’t before letting them go! And I would love to know more about MS so I can understand; by far am I bias and I love learning. That’s because “young” people has a lot to learn and I’m willing!
                                                                                   Thanks,
                                                                                         Tori

[t_vic]

I’m glad to see, "what I assume", your feeling better. You seem really up and motivated to tell your "friends" how you feel, and you’re going to try to tie a fly? lol I guess, all's well ends well... I hope this all works out for you and I wish you well!

It seems that I was wrong in my belief of you teaching yourself to love and help you, so I’m rather sorry for my incompetence of this matter. I maybe young but I deal/dealt with equal amount of imbalanced measures, and I'm not a hateful person, I just try to make everyone happy. Sometimes I don’t realize that my help is crucial, but what people fails to realize, it’s not in vain. I’m sorry to have offended you and/or your net work friends. Just because I don’t have what ya'll have doesn’t incapable me to understand that there are people out there that’s gets over looked and it hurts them to feel this way; I just thought since it’s us "outsiders" who is doing the hurting that I could show you/anyone else in this conversation that an "outsider" that is listening and wants to help. Please forgive me if I had hurt you or misinterpret the situation. I just wanted you to smile because life is beautiful; if you see it for it, and not what people makes of it. I don’t want to be misconstrued the situation or discombobulate anyone; I’m not a bias person! Much love goes out to you and I hope you have a wonderful time in what I think you may be going fishing? I’m not to sure of "try to tie a fly" means lol... and further more I hope when you talk to your "friends" that they see their wrongs and drop to their knees for forgiveness, and you will take them back like the loving friend you've been for all these years. I think from what I have been reading that my conversation here is done. I've seemed to have gotten to some people who just rather I would back off, so once again I’m sorry for disturbing you and I wish you well, good luck.

                                                                            Tori:)
Ps. remember to smile!

[gooddays]

HI, I CAN RELATE TO WHAT YOUR ARE GOING THROUGH AND I AM STILL WORKING.  I USED TO HAVE A SUPPORT GROUP WHICH THEY CALLED THEMSELVES MY STEP-DAUGHTERS.  IN THE BEGGINING THEY HELP A LOT, NOT ANY MORE.

WHEN I AM BACK AT WORK, THEY DO NOT EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE MY BEING IN AND THEY JUST GO BY AS IF I DID NOT EXIST.  IT HURST ME A LOT BECAUSE THE ONLY TIME THEY KNOW I AM AT THE OFFICE IS WHEN THEY NEED MY HELP AND AFTER THAT I AM LEFT OUT.

I AM SORRYTHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING I AM.  IF THEY ONLY KNEW HOW MUCH THEIR ATTITUDES HURT US, MAY BE THEY WOULD REALIZE HOW GOOD OF A FRIEND WE HAVE BEEN. FOR ME, IT IS TIME TO MOVE ON, THE LORD WILL GUIDE US.

I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT YOUR POST ON HOW MUCH ENERGY YOU HAD AFTER YOUR STEROIDS TREATMENT. I AM SORRY IF THIS HURTS YOU, BUT I NEED TO ASK YOU.  DID YOU COME TO MY HOUSE IN PUERTO RICO AND LEFT PART OF YOUR ENERGY HERE?  YOU SEE ON SUNDAY I WAS NOT FEELING WELL, BUT AFTER RESTING FOR TWO HOURS, I GOT UP AS MAD CLEANING LADY.  I DO NOT HAVE A HUSBAND WHO CAN DO MY CLEANING.  SO I CLEANED THE HOUSE, INCLUDING MY FRIDGE AND KITCHEN FLOOR.  AFTER THAT I REARRANGED MY FURNITURE AND MY DECORATIONS TO POINT TO CHANGE SOME OF IT.  I THINK YOU CAME OVER, AND I GOT HOOKED ON YOUR CLEANING VENTURE.  MY HOUSE IS SPOTLESS, BUT I AM ON STEROIDS TREATMENT NOW.  NOT TO BLAME YOU.  I JUST WANTED TO HUMOR YOU A LITTLE.

WE ARE ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU, I KNOW IS NOT THE SAME, BUT UNTIL YOU FIND REAL CLOSE FRIEND THAT YOU CAN SHARE WITH, WE ARE ALL A MESSAGE AWAY.

WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR CONVERSATION WITH YOUR SO CALLED "FRIENDS" LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU HAVE MS, BUT MS DOES NOT HAVE YOU.  LET ME KNOW THEIR RECATION.

TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF.

LOTS OF LOVE AND HUGS,

ZULMA

[young at heart]

I'M POSTING LATE AS USUAL.

I'M REALLY SORRY THAT YOU HAD TO ENDURE THE IGNORANCE OF SO-CALLED FRIENDS.

SWEETIE YOU ARE AN INSPIRING LADY AND THIS IS THESE PEOPLES LOSS AND OUR GAIN.

THERE'S MANY WONDERFUL PEOPLE OUT THERE AND I AM BLESSED TO HAVE THE COMMUNITY SUPPORT I HAVE AND THE SMALL GROUP OF SPECIAL FRIENDS I HAVE.

I DO SPEND MUCH OF MY TIME AT HOME ALSO WAITING ON SOMEONE TO GIVE ME A RIDE AND SO FORTH AND IT BITES.

CAN I BE THE FIRST TO JOIN YOU COG---FOG GROUP,I'D BE YOUR GUEST SPEAKER,BUT I'D FORGET WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY.(LOL)

YOU DON'T DESERVE THE WAY THESE PEOPLE TREATED YOU AND SHAME ON THEM FOR THERE BEHAVOR,JUST BECAUSE WE CAN'T RUN,JUMP,SKIP AND REMEMBER THINGS ALL THE TIME,WE STILL ARE HUMAN AND WITH FEELINGS.

RENA,I DO BELEIVE THAT PEOPLE WITH DISORDERS AND DISEASES MAKE KINDER HEARTED PEOPLE.

YOU WILL FIND THAT GROUP OF PEOPLE.

YOUR HUBBY SOUNDS LIKE A DREAM,JUST A THOUGHT,YOU COULD HAVE HUBBY DRESS UP IN A CHEUFFER(SP) UNIFORM AND DRIVE YA IN THAT SPORTY MUSTANG.

YOU KEEP YOURSELF FOCUSSED ON THAT FISHING TRIP YOU HAVE PLANNED.

PEOPLE CAN BE SUCH JERKS,IF I COULD GET MY LEG HIGH ENOUGH,I'D LIKE TO KICK THERE HINEYS FOR HURTING YOU.

YOUR LOVED HERE.

T

[ELT]

  I spent some time frustrated, and upset, but, life is what it is.  I try not to worry about things I can't change, or that I don't know about.

  My teenager is now her own problem, and not under my roof, lol, she lives at her boyfriends parents, I love her dearly, but my tiny 24ft by22ft wartime bungalow couldn't fit two women, lol.  
    
   I am not at work anymore, but, we make do, as I finished paying for my house a few years ago.  We're not well off, by any means, but, we are good.  

   My mother is an inspiration, at 82, she organizes a glee club, line dances, lives on 70 acres of forest, by herself, in a large timberframe home, which she heats with wood she carries.  She and her drinking buddy friend organize dinners for groups from their seniors group, all the recipes are from the LCBO cook book, everything contains alcohol, in other words.  She puts over 50,000 miles on her subaru all wheel drive each year.  An old lady she is NOT. lol

   I love my bf of the last almost ten years dearly, he is a smart ***, and a pain in the *** sometimes, but we suit one another to a tee.  And he's handy with a hammer, which my poor old house needs, lol.  He came into my life when I was a very healthy, attractive slim woman in her thirties.  He stuck with me through this whole ordeal, and is what keeps me well grounded.  As do my lady friends at the gym, and others.  

   Life isn't always easy, but, it is always what I make of it.  I like it, though I could stand to lose ten or so pounds.  We won't get specific on that count, lol.  There are a few things I'd change, but far more I would keep.

   Dale and I share a lot together, but, we have different interests from time to time.  We each enjoy each others company when we are together, we also cherish our times apart, lol.  

   Remember, things are always different tomorrow,

Erica

[LATW]

I AM REALLY SORRY YOU ARE GOING THROUGH THIS.  I WISH I HAD SOME IDEAS THAT WOULD HELP. WISH WE LIVED BESIDE EACH OTHER, WE COULD KEEP EACH OTHER COMPANY!  

I DO HAVE MY CHILDREN AND THEY ARE SUCH A BLESSING!  I HAVE ACTUALLY FELT ISOLATED BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY CHILDREN!  SEVERAL OF THEM HAVE DOWN SYNDROME.  I THINK PEOPLE ARE AFRAID OF HANGING OUT WITH US. I THINK HEALTH ISSUES AND A LOT OF CHILDREN CAUSE PEOPLE TO RUN THE OTHER WAY.

NOW THAT I HAVE STARTED OPTIC NEURITIS I HAVE TO ADMIT I AM AFRAID OF BEING TOTALLY HOUSE BOUND AT SOME POINT MYSELF.  I HAVE ALREADY TOLD MY 11 YEAR OLD SON I AM GOING TO HIRE HIM TO BE MY DRIVER WHEN HE IS OLD ENOUGH. WE WILL GO OUT TO EAT AND GO TO THE MALL!  :)

I KNOW NO ONE CAN REALLY SOLVE THIS FOR YOU BUT HOPEFULLY SHARING HOW PAINFUL THIS EXPERENCE WAS WILL HELP SOME.  SHARING THINGS REALLY HELPS ME EVEN IF THERE IS NO REAL SOLUTION.  

LA