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Denial, ignorance, stupidity?
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Denial, ignorance, stupidity?

A question was recently asked on the boards about questioning your diagnosis.  Yes, I get this, every day.  I do think that this thinking can really get me in trouble sometimes.  This morning is one of those times.

I took the boys to Niagara Falls by myself for the past couple days.  I did bring my walker but have not used it. Sidewalks very hilly and narrow, made of brick.  Those of you who know me, realize I do push myself and dont take care of my own needs most of the time.  Yes, I know this as well.  

I have overdone it this time.  We got lost yesterday, and walked, walked and then walked some more.  Just too much.  Finally got back to hotel and lied down.  Anyway, again I went out later and overdid it again.

Well, I cant get out of the bed today.  Kids all went to the breakfast and hear I am.  My legs r like jello. Worried about today, very worried.

I guess this is just a response to the post about not believing your diagnosis.  I think I must be a glutton for punishment.  Or I need to accept, finally, I can no longer do, what I used to do and be ok with this.  I just always think, if I am able to get up and go, then I better do it before I cant.  Well, cant do it today:(

Thanks for listening,
Michelle
14 Comments Post a Comment
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572651_tn?1333939396
We're always here to listen to you - I am so sorry to hear that this has come back to bite you in the A$%.  You are such a role model for your boys of how to push through regardles   - perhaps now they also need to see you know how to accept help?

Niagra Falls is treacherous to walk and walk - I didn't realize I had MS the last time I was there and it just about killed me - the hills were outrageous. Rest up and let your boys pamper you a bit today -  hugs, Laura
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739070_tn?1338607002
Michelle,

So sorry to hear about you overdoing it. I know you were having a wonderful time! I , too, found the walking around Niagara Falls a challenge and that was long before my diagnosis and I considered myself in shape.

Just pamper yourself and use your walker.  The boys are getting old enough to fully understand the magnititude of your illness and your limitations. Just simply explain you need to rest and take it easy today.

I'm sure they can swim at the hotel pool or you can find something else low key for them to do. Call the front desk and see what other attractions and activites are nearby that you can handle. We took a shuttle bus over to the Candian shopping outlets. You can sit while the boys shop at Nike, etc.

I hope you feel better!!! Sending many gentle hugs!!!

Ren
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645390_tn?1338558977
Thanks Lu and Ren,

Yes, they now pretty much understand the MS issues w me, sometimes.  Not much difference than I do as well.  Been a long, hard day.  In quite a lot of pain leg wise.  Walking really hazardous right now.  But good memories were made, which makes it valuable to me.

Tomorrow is another day.  I have taken 2 zanaflex and hoping that will help until the morning.

Michelle
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golly I remember Niagara when I was still "ready and able" and it was a chore then.........now I get exhausted buying groceries!

I agree with everyone else and hope you feel better soon!
sending very gentle hugs also
Sarah
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Avatar_m_tn
You must be a type "A" person like me.

I still end up pushing myself from time to time beyond my limits. Though I am getting better at just saying no to things. It has only taken me 24 years to get to this point.

Example
The day I got out of the hospital after my 3x bypass I was out mowing my lawn.


I Hope you recover quickly!

Dennis
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Avatar_f_tn
Michelle, don't be so hard on yourself. We all overdo things fairly often. I guess it comes with the MS territory.

Especially if it's something we really want to do, we decide we're having a good day and are up to the challenge. Or we convince ourselves that we really are making the needed adjustments to compensate--go slower, go a shorter distance, go for less time, whatever. And we do try to do that, but in the end it always catches up with us, no?

Our only other choice is not to do things at all, and we resist with all our might putting things in this category. Sometimes we have to, but we try to make as few additions to this as we can possibly get away with.

So I'm all in favor of keepin' on keepin' on till it's totally impossible. I just try to plan for a warm soaking bath afterwards, maybe a few products or gadgets for sore muscles, and a nice nap afterwards. Usually it also means doing nothing else strenuous for a few days, too.

I can be really hard-headed, that's for sure, so I guess I'll be kicking and screaming for a while yet.

ess
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751951_tn?1406636463
Girl, you are smart enough to recognize your iwn mistakes in the rearview mirror; we can say that much, for sure.  We will pray you rebound quickly.

Here I go -- remember, I'm a pastor, and it's two days before Easter -- taking a two-hour-&-20-minute car ride to where?  The Henry Ford Museum -- the most too-much-walking place my 56-year-old can remember, ever!  Even though Mystery Sickness has been in another near-total remission, I am not confident I'll get through this well.  Still, here I am, in the back of a Suzuki, almost to Toledo as I type.  The things we do for love, eh?  (I might rather be headed to N.F.; that is one place of which I will never grow tired!)
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751951_tn?1406636463
(Some irony, huh?  I left out the word "brain."  My 56-56-year-old BRAIN can't remember anyplace with mkre walking.  Oh, if stairs count, maybe Watkins Glen.  Mammoth Cave wasn t so great, either...  wow, has it been ...  20, maybe 25 yeaers ago!)  
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667078_tn?1316004535
Heck I push the envelope a lot myself. I danced recently and could not walk well for three days. I am still glad I did it. I am lucky because my husband helps me realize when I am pushing too hard.

I hope you recover. That is very hard.

Alex

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572651_tn?1333939396
If we didn't push, we wouldn't know where our new limits are.  And once we know those limits, we can adjust appropriately. I hope you are home soon, Michelle, and feeling better.
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751951_tn?1406636463
Walked too much.  Spent too much.  Ate too much.  Probably did too much.  I think I'm gonna regret it.  Sorta.  Some.
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645390_tn?1338558977
Thx all. @ Dennis, i do believe you are more type A than me :). Mowing the lawn after triple bypass?  Heck, i dont mow the lawn, and i dont have a heart issue! Thx for the smile!

@Ess, yep, kicking and screaming I will do right along with you.  Whats the other choice, right?

@PD, how was the museum?  Hope you made it through easily,and enjoyed it. (So good to see you, by the way) just read ur last post.  Sounds like it was a good visit. No regrets.

@Alex,  you go girl!  Love that u dance!  You are always such an inspiration to me. I used to love love to dance.  Been a long time though...miss it.

@Lu.  Still in bed. :( did push too much

Gotta love this board, when people just "get it". I always feel normalized (?) here.

Well, i screwed up a knee, both actually w Niagara Falls walking adventure.  My gait is so messed up, and the hills and valleys made it worse.  Ended up going to doc, who sent me for cortisone shots in my knees.  Good lawd...my right knee leg hurts like heck now, cant hardly bend my stiff painful leg.

Paiged doc yesterday, resident called back. ( I am not going to say too much bad about residents and my care, but I have worked w them, and after an surgical mishap from a resident, I think residents r great, but not for me or my family.)

Anyway, this doc said he has never heard of such a thing, more painful after a cortisone treatment.  Take tylenol, and ice your knee.  Really, ok, well thats what I have been doing.

I think maybe, just maybe, today will be a better day.  Gonna leave the bed soon for some coffee and take it from there.

Have a good one all, and Happy Easter to those who celebrate!

Michelle

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751951_tn?1406636463
Thnx, Michelle.  HF Museum was awesome.  Nancy got us a family pass for a year, so I pray we'll get back there more than once.  It is neat.  A DC-3, some incredible Industrial-Revolution-era  machines, a locomotive so massive you can't imagine, Presidential limousines, the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile.  IMAX.

Easy to overdo it.  Paid some last night, with eye pain, disequilibrium today, but slight compared with some of my past experiences.
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Avatar_m_tn
I can feel for you the the shots in the knee. I spent 4 months in a medical holding company while in the Navy and they were giving me shots in my knee every week. After the stupid doctor broke off the needle in my knee I decided that was enough and told the doctor at the next appointment my knee no longer hurt.

Dennis
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