Fatigue or depression? Fatigue and depression?

[Fluffysmom]

I am so tired, my Provigil isn't even helping that much.  On my trip to the beach, I took a whole Provigil daily ($15 each) and it barely helped. We were on the third floor, no elevator, and could only sometimes park so we only had to walk up one flight of stairs.

I know I'm deconditioned from having less energy to exercise, but this was rough.  We unloaded that car on the bottom level and hauled stuff up all those stairs, and it wiped me out.  I recovered after some rest and went back out, had a nice dinner at Tidal Raves

Did some running around over the next couple days, shopping at the outlet mall (found some nice clothes at great prices), but got overheated going from cold-windy-rainy to very warm store, too many people, felt like I couldn't take another step,  

A great storm blew in, with 20 - 30 foot waves, raining sideways, high winds.  I would have been content to view it from the room, but roommate wanted to go places.   I walked on the beach a little during the storm, had a great time, took awesome pictures, but it wore me out.  There was a guy trying to kite surf in a short wetsuit; the water is 49*!

I bent my New Years resolutions eating giant cookies and pizza from this quaint shop called Humble Pie, where the owner did all the cooking.  Roomie had one of his eclairs; nearly the size of a sub sandwich, with bittersweet chocolate on top; he trained at the Culinary Institute here in Portland and was very good at what he did; had a sandwich from there one night that was good, could have been two meals.

The bed I had over there was rough on my body; don't know if it was that or all the stairs and riding in the car, but my nerve pain on my right side flared up.  I slept a lot, but was still fatigued.

Monday I gave myself my 10th Avonex injection, the first truly full dosage.  Tuesday was a non-day; I read, ate things easy to prepare, and slept.  I forgot to write in my food diary, forgot what I had read in my latest Patricia Cornwell novel; had to backtrack and re-read some when I picked up the book today.

I thought today would be better, took half a Provigil so I could run some errands. After taking my shower, I lost my balance and banged my left knee on the corner of the wall, heard an ominous sound, put arnica gel on the bruise. Later, I took a chunk of skin off a knuckle with a clutzy move, forgot about it until I was looking at meat in Thriftway and used some hand sanitizer; ouch!

Saw a Mercedes in the parking lot with the license plate "Clutzy", laughed, thought it should be mine, lol!

I picked up Fluffy's thyroid medicine, and found I'd had enough, went home, finished my novel, called and ordered my refill of Avonex, did one load of laundry.  My roommate called and asked if I wanted to run errands and get someting to eat; yay, don't have to worry about not cooking the half-planned pork and hominy stew until tomorrow.

I looked at the forum, but couldn't formulate much in the way of responses to people, though I wanted to.  I feel like I'm floating outside looking in, and I think its fatigue that has me in this bubble.  The Avonex rep asked me if I'd felt down or depressed in the last 30 days, and I said no, just in the total fatigue of the day after my injection.

I've experienced depression before, and this isn't it.  I hurt; the Lyrica isn't taking care of the nerve pain and I'm concerned that adding Tegretol during the day would add to my fatigue.  

I've had to repeat to myself Quix's comment "I have become much happier now that I have resigned as General Manager of the Universe" (love that!), as being so tired and in pain makes me cranky and I'm finding I'm being too judgemental.

I have a list of things to accomplish, and I'm checking them off slowly.  I have to do a rent review for my low-income housing; take in all my receipts and stuff, and there's a new manager, so it should be an onerous experience.  I have less than a week to prepare; think I'll just take in the stuff from my food stamp review; that gave me maximum food stamps; maybe my rent will go down.  I also have an interview for energy assistance, rescheduled because of the snow, then I see my gastro, then my MS neuro, then my PCP.

OK, I'm tired just writing about it, and I'msure a lot of you felt your eyes crossing and had to stop reading.  This is taking forever to type because of my typos and needing to fix them; bet some made it through.

So, does the trauma of an Avonex injection flare up symptoms?  It seems like my right-sided nerve pain has been flaring regularly, after my colonoscopy, during and after my toe infection, somewhere in there was my H1N1 shot, too.

Any tips?  Fresh air, small walks even when I don't feel like it, naps?  Take the Tegretol and reduce the pain, since I take a low dose and I should get used to the sedating effect quickly?

I haven't made it to an MS support group; seems like all the ones around here are on Tuesdays, my non-days for now.  Next week I have to give myself my shot on Tuesday night because of appointments; maybe I can make it to the noon group after my rent review if the new manager is familiar with the process (I've been doing it for 13 years).

My words just seem to keep wandering out of me, so I'll say enough for now; love to hear from you all.  Know that I'm thinking about you, even if I'm not responding to your posts, sending notes, or uploading my new pictures.

Hugs,
Kathy

[Udkas]

Hi Super Woman,
Your post with your schedule made me tired.  You over did it!  Slow the pace a little, even able bodied people would be tired, I know just a trip to the 'big smoke" makes me tired these days and I don't have MS!!!  I find a change in routine tires me terribly, not sure if I am just getting old!!!  I live in the country and I call the city (25min drive away) the big smoke!

Baby steps, you will be able to work out what you can and can't do and if you try to do too much it will take it's toll, plan your week so you don't end up doing everything on the one day, I hope you feel better soon and I think perhaps the MS support groups would be great for you to be able to attend.

Thinking of you,
Hugs,
Udkas.

[Fluffysmom]

I'm going to try and pace myself better.  Provigil can't battle the fatigue if I do too much.

Today I drove in to pick up my prescriptions, and found that the pharmacy and several square blocks of downtown were closed due to a power outage; something about a transformer that blew up.

I went to talk to my apartment manager, to see if I could make it easier on myself by using the information from my food stamp review for my rent review, and she was hard-nosed about it and said that if things weren't done exactly from the date of the review for the year before it, the Housing Authority would send it back to be done over.

I told her I had health issues, and having a week to gather all the receipts and everything was overwhelming me; didn't soften her a bit.  I'm putting other stuff on hold so I can work on making copies of receipts for medical costs, co-pay, insurance premiums, etc.  I have to get a new print out from the pharmacy, so I may have to drive there tomorrow, or Monday at the latest.  

She said she could make the copies, but I told her that with all my expenses, we would be there for hours making copies.  Not the best meeting with my new manager!

I wonder if my MS nurse could get me a doctor's excuse to delay my rent review?  I'll call if I just can't get it done.  I can't drive myself crazy with this stuff!

My MS nurse did call me earlier today, and she's going to discuss my nerve pain with my neuro and see if he has any suggestions.  We also discussed my Provigil getting denied by insurance and the appeal getting denied; she's going to look into helping more, and discussing other options.  Ritalin does not work for me; intolerable side effects.

So, I'm resting and treating myself kindly this evening, gathering some paperwork, but not stressing out over it.  Ate some low fat chocolate frozen yogurt; always makes me feel better!

Kathy

[ShadowsSister]

Super Woman, I agree with Lulu and Quix, you have over done it, BIG TIME.  May I suggest you do two or three important things and reschedule the rest. Even fun things can be too much.

I use to try and squeeze every thing in on my Good Days, only to end up feeling beat up and defeated. Today If I do one thing on my long list I feel as though I have been sucesseful. I think it is an attitude thing. ;-)

I do hope you'll consider slowing down a bit and be kinder to yourself. Sending you love, hugs and Prayers {{{{~!~}}}} DJ

[Eyesnlegs]

I am sure Quix is right just a couple of years ago I would do all that you did and more now just an overlong phone call leaves me exhausted and like you I constantly feel I should be able to. I am sure others here are the same.

I would love just to go shopping again most of the damage to my credit card is done via the Internet.

Rest more and pace yourself - hey aren't we good at giving out advice that we rarely practise ourselves - lol.

Pat x

[Fluffysmom]

Overdid it?  Oh, I have to quit comparing now with the past, I guess.

Today I drove about 7 miles, wandered in Thriftway in order to spend $3 in "Holiday Bucks" that expired today; bought a can of tomatoes for the stew (all the prep I did for the stew) and a new brush for Fluffy.  

I drove across the street to pick up his meds, then drove home, threw the laundry in the dryer, heated up two hotdogs for lunch, then laid on the bed and read, grumbling when the dryer buzzed.

I called in the Rx for Avonex when their automated system called me and hung up; I did a call-back, and ordered my Avonex and thinner needles.

Looked in on the forum, typed the above and one other comment.

Threw on my clothes and went to dinner with my roommate; soup and salad.  Oh, I did take 100 mg. of Tegretol and my afternoon vicodin and felt much better.

The stuff at the beach was stretched out over 3 1/2 days, and my roommate did all the driving.  Thank heavens, since it's really dark when its windy and rainy over there!

OK, it was fun finding nice clothes at Jones New York, Coldwater Creek, and Chico's (over two days) for amazing prices.  I found three pairs of stretchy jeans that were the right length and fit comfortably, which is an amazing thing with my nerve pain issues.

I found two nice dressy jackets to wear on the rare occasions when I go somewhere where dressy is important; it feels so much better to feel like I fit in, and the prices were amazing.  

The only down side to the great storm was that I didn't see any whales, and I was in Depoe Bay on the day of the official whale-watching season for those whales on their way to Baja to calve and play.

I'm feeling overwhelmed with what I've got coming up.  The MS support groups are in different locations, different times, on one Tuesday of the month.  The one this coming Tuesday is one I've been wanting to visit; hope I can make it.  

I'll adjust the day of my injection when necessary; the Accredo people said it's fine, as long as there are 4 days between injections.

I'll get some rest, grinning sheepishly.  :o)

Kathy

[Quixotic1]

Uhh, does "You overdid it and are paying the piper" ring a bell.  I don't get done in a week what you are describing doing on a bad day.

No the "trauma" of injecting Avonex won't put you into a pseudo-relapse.  You overdid it!  I don't care how much fun it was.  It maight have even been worth feeling lousy now.  You overdid it!

Now, if I made my point, dearheart, (I initially spelled that dewarheart, lol) you might consider changing the day you give yourself the shot so you can make the group meetings.  It is no big deal to delay the shot a day or two and then reset your schedule.

Yeah, you accomodate to the sedation of the Tegretol pretty quickly.

We're thinking of you, too, though mammouthly jealous about getting to the beach during a great strom (major "destination" here in the Northwest, folks).  Take care and remember that just because it is a lot of fun, doean't mean you won't suffer later.

Get some rest, Clutzy.

Q

[Lulu54]

Hi Kathy, Since I do copaxone and not avonex, I can be of no help with your fatigue question.

The trip to the shore for New Year's eve sounds lovely, despite the storm.  What I would give to have an ocean shore close to us - but alas, Ohio is landlocked on three sides, and has only a Great Lake to the north.

I surely hope you find some energy reserves one of these days - the fatigue must go!!!

hugs back,
Lu