Silly to me

[MCBCON]

Well, today is paint the kitchen an hallway day.  I am not allowed to help,  My arms jerk wildly and my balance not too great these days.  We are concerned that I might fall with paint can or brush in hand or send paint flying all over.  Makes me feel like a little kid.

We are painting in hopes of selling our place and not having it be foreclosed upon.

We spoke with a disablilty lawyer yesterday.  Seems that I have a decent case.  But, the process is long and I have to keep trying make money to live on.  Even if I get disabily payment it is not enough to live on with selling the house.  

Not to sure how we are going to payoff all our unsecured debt.  We will try to pay our bills.  But, It seems bankruptcy might be unavoidable.










A Song

She is seed.
She pulls tendrils from her hair.
She's the blooming bloom of scratchy threads.
She picks at her dress, its felted hand.
How has she come to be here
in this wintry garden
statues falling down it's so cold?
Her eyes are green.
Her eyes are soft,
and the clack of the brittle branches
scares her more than bright fire.

I'm here in this wintry dark,
ice shifting around and over.
Ice gave birth to this place
but I am not of their sort.
Glaciers left the soil behind,
but I am not of this earth.
I am wind-blown,
tuft, not grit,
airborne, mote and speck,
the manner of float,
manner of the smallest kind.

Once we roved the wind.
Then, they spun the long loose clouds,
they knotted our wings,
they felted our fibery hearts.

-- written by:  K. L. T.

[MCBCON]

It was your hospitalizations.  My lawyer said they usually do the trick.

[jensequitur]

Haven't you always wanted a monkey?  ;-)

Best of luck getting on disability!  It sounds like it's your next step.

I was quite concerned a couple of years ago when I was going through what you're experiencing.  To my relief, I found that my problems weren't permanent.  Hard to say what will happen to you, since you're not even diagnosed!

[Quixotic1]

I was approved for SSD in less than six weeks.  I gathered up all of the medical records from the prior 2 years, including hospitalizations.  Along with my application I sent them 2 full cases of medical records and told them they could have the other two hospitalizations if they needed it.

I don't know what did the trick, but "if you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull****."

For what it may be worth.

Quix

[MCBCON]

I accept prayers!     :)

[Fluffysmom]

If I had a million dollars...

I heard that old song not long ago, and thought it would take a lot more than that now to do all the fun stuff in that song.  

But if I really did have a million dollars, I would want very much to give you enough to calm your worries until things even out.

As I don't have a million, all I can do is add my prayers to Heather's, and the others on the forum that I know are adding their prayers and well wishes and warm affection for you and your family.

Be very careful with yourself, dear fellow, and know that our thoughts are with you.

Kathy

[MCBCON]

life is full of turns.  right now I am a business of a past customer of mine.  He knows of my health condition and financial woes.  he is having me work two days a week at fairly good rate.  the trouble is that I have to drive 127 miles each way.

That does not sound so bad except that I have to stop and rest each way and that my vision is not the best.  Plus, I got lost in my neighborhood yesterday.  Somehow I found my way this morning though.

My neighborhood is actually a Condo complex.  I was walking home and nothing seemed the right direction to go.  I was confused.  This is happening lately.  I fell down the stairs the other day.  I was talking to someone on the cell phone, hung up.  I was in my bedroom then.  The next thing I know my face slams up against the wall at the bottom of the steps going downstairs.  I do not remember deciding to or walking down the stairs.

I do not think i should be driving.  But, I do not know what to do.  How can I live my life if I cannot trust myself.  I know my wife and kids are quite worried.  I am too.  I need an income.  I also need to figure out what I can do.

[Heather3418]

Believe it or not, your story is much more common than we all realize.  Even people without disabilities.

As for your Social Security Disability, I DO agree with your lawyer.  You have a strong case.  I was lucky to have it approved on the first try.  I am ashamed to admit this, but I really stressed the pain factor on all my SS paperwork.  I was told by a SS lawyer to make the case absolutely hopeless.  I was lucky? to have a couple other health problems than MS, so maybe that's why my case was approved so quickly.  Sure was many weeks of waiting though.

I feel your pain.  I too had to bankrupt (because of divorce and no job) and it was painful to watch my house be repossed by the bank.  It broke my heart.  I owned my own business with my then husband.  We had a tremendous amount of equity that we lost in the business property AND the house.  It was devastating to see all of that go, after all of our hard work.  It really takes a period of emotonal adjustment, because we felt like such failures.  I would imagine you might be feeling some of the same things.

I am hard-headed so I would not let all of the financial business get me down, so I came out fighting.  I could have found a home that was government subsidized, were I could have least been able to afford the expenses, but the divorce ended all of that.

I feel for you, so let me pray for you.  Please remember how many friends you have on this Forum that have actually been through some of the same things you have.  We are here to tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel.  Please get to work on that disability claim.  It's important to get all that started, even while you are looking for work.

You are in our thoughts and prayers fella.  Please keep posting and sharing.  I know that it will help a little to take the load off.

Best Wishes,
Heather  

[MCBCON]

Thanks.

The thing is that I should not be driving.  But, I am the one who is supposed to make a living.  Right now I am not doing so.  Because of this our finances keep going backwards.

This last week I found some temporary work but it is 127 miles away.  I have interviews set up for closer work.  But, I am not sure if I can do the work anymore.  the driving is a prob in either case.

I guess all I can do is let things go and fail at my responsibilities.  I can only hope to get a remote job.  I might be able to do this.

[Fluffysmom]

I agree with all the above.  It took me two years to get approved for disability, but was approved not long after I got an attorney.  It can be a difficult process, but an attorney can make things go a lot more smoothly, and know where to look for the most benefits.  Sure, you have to pay them a percentage, but for me it was definitely worth it.

My bankruptcy is long gone, off my credit report, and just a memory.  Mine was part of a foolish engagement to a dreamer (who liked my credit cards), and then becoming disabled.  I tried to work, but found little I could do.  I had to keep paying on my car to keep from losing it, though I had disability insurance on it.  They just didn't want to pay wanted to repossess the car.

My last attempt at painting was before my tremors hit; I don't think I'd attempt it now!  Even with low-VOC paint, the fumes still bothered me, so it's probably best to stay away from the paint, anyway.

I hope your house sells, your disability is put through quickly, and things smooth out in your world.  

My mind is turning the poem over; thank you.

Kathy

[Quixotic1]

Good to hear from you!  But, not with such news.  I ditto everything that has been said.

Bankruptcy is not the end of all things.  I realize that it carries a stigma, but afterwards many things are better.  Sometimes it is the best outcome of a set of unsolvable circumstances.  We have several people here who have been through it and eventually it means nothing.  My bankruptcy will fall off my record this year.  Mine was part of a disastrous marriage to a compulsive spender and also part of my own decrease in income from disability.

None of my words make things better, I know, but I had to say them for what little comfort they may give.  I'm glad you talked to an attorney.

Thank you for the poem.

Quix

[nncdalton]

Please, please, please write your congressman or woman about your story. You might think that it is pointless but it isn't. Trust me on this one. They get enough letters on the same issue they will make a change. TRUST ME!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!


Christy D

[Sarahsmom46]

It is a sad time in our country that people are struggling with keeping their hard earned homes.  I sure hope you can sell the house or find a way to keep it.  My heart goes out to you and your family.  

You made a very good decision to get a lawyer to help you navigate the disability process.  It will definitely streamline the process and won't take as long.  I have a friend that decided to do this on her own, without an attorney, and she is still waiting for new on her 2nd appeal.  She started this process 1.5 years ago.  It just seems unfair that we even have to retain an attorney to get what he are entitled to (with proper documentation of course), but that is the reality in this very bureaucratic process.  I wish you well and hope your wait for status comes as quickly as possible.  

Take good care and don't worry about not being able to help with painting.  I'm sure they will find something else for you to do to help.  

Julie

[doni54]

Hi MCBCON!!

Sounds like a wise choice for you not to paint!!  Ladders aren't safe for us, are they?  Last time I painted it was just 2 closets and had to pry my fingers off the paint brush when I finished.....hahaha  Spasticity I guess.

I'm sorry you are having financial problems, I have been there and continue to struggle daily.  We had no choice but to go the bankruptcy route, we tried our best, but just couldn't find any other way.  

I'm praying for you and that your home will sell and that you can get the disability started.  Better days are coming for you.

Take care,
doni