Aa
I'm not sure what to do?
Hi all,
I'm feeling kind of upset and confused right now. No dx, but weirdness for about a year and doctors since Jan '08. Recently took a 15-day course of oral steroids and felt pretty, pretty, pretty good (for all you "Curb" fans!).
I don't feel like the relief is "sticking." I've been resting big time all weekend, but still feel like everyday, a little more is coming back. My neuro and PCP both felt that my symptoms could totally go away. They each think that my nerves got set on "hyper sensitive" and that I needed a "reboot." (Seriously, their words!) I optimistically went along, ;cause it sounds pretty sweet that I could have full recovery and no recurrence.
But now that symptoms are returning, I feel like I got sold a lemon. My neuro told me how there are lots of neurological problems that go unnamed and resolve themselves. Now I wonder, did his patients just move on to another doctor?
Other than when medication intervened, I've been symptomatic since March, preceeded by a short break and an attack in Jan. As I have whined before, I am in a temporary work situation that ends next summer. I'm the "breadwinner" in my relationship, and am specialized, so I need to plan ahead and look for a job NOW. I don't know how to approach that task while feeling like this.
The one plus that I thought of is that I have not had a new symptom since mid or late May, when my vision started to "ghost." Some symptoms intensified, but I didn't have any distinct, new ones since then.
I am thinking I will go back to my physician, who rx-ed the prednisone, and at least tell her how that went. I'll probably wait a few more days, but I think I will go. But of course she can only do so much, and she is also on board with the "hyper sensitive" theory and also told me that "lots of people have spots on their brain, even me!" in response to my brain MRI. Yeah, she's twice my age and her spots are her business, but I feel like my productive future is on the line, here.
My next neuro appt. is in October. I have no idea if/what/how he will proceed. In his defense, he has never made me feel like he doesn't believe me, and he does think my problems are neurological. I had a repeat brain MRI and an LP that he ordered in July. He told me if the MRI was changed or if the LP was positive, he would diagnose MS. But the MRI was the same as in Jan, and while I did not get the banding results, all the other LP stuff was spot on perfect. (Like the igG or whatever it is.)
The one "clue" that I feel my doctors have ignored is that I GET WORSE LYING DOWN. Always, and within minutes. This is reversible when I get up, again, within minutes. I can feel my symptoms change between standing, sitting, and lying down. When I lie down, the weird feelings in my face/hands/feet move into my torso and all intensify. When I sit, I get more burning in my face and arms, and more tingling and weird full feelings in my head. I've had my c-spine and l-spine studied under MRI, but I think there is still a chunk in the middle that has been overlooked. I've not heard others complain of this sort of posture dependence to the extent that I have it, and still think that this has to be a flag.
OK, I am officially ranting and whining. I want to be patient and not think of this stuff between appointments, I really do. But with the concentration problems and impending job situation, I don't feel like I can! I am so upset that this stuff always seems to just come back. I've read stories about other people who have years in between symptoms. I could go for, get, and settle into a new job if I had a long break. But being able to count the ok weeks out of the calendar year on one hand is just not enough.
If/when I do break down and go to my physician this week, does anyone have any ideas of what I can ask about? I really try to understand that they need to see what happens with me over time, and that time needs to pass in between tests, but once again the pressure is building and I'm not sure how to stay patient. Any ideas on how I can calm myself down?
Thanks, and pass the Kleenex....
~W
I'm feeling kind of upset and confused right now. No dx, but weirdness for about a year and doctors since Jan '08. Recently took a 15-day course of oral steroids and felt pretty, pretty, pretty good (for all you "Curb" fans!).
I don't feel like the relief is "sticking." I've been resting big time all weekend, but still feel like everyday, a little more is coming back. My neuro and PCP both felt that my symptoms could totally go away. They each think that my nerves got set on "hyper sensitive" and that I needed a "reboot." (Seriously, their words!) I optimistically went along, ;cause it sounds pretty sweet that I could have full recovery and no recurrence.
But now that symptoms are returning, I feel like I got sold a lemon. My neuro told me how there are lots of neurological problems that go unnamed and resolve themselves. Now I wonder, did his patients just move on to another doctor?
Other than when medication intervened, I've been symptomatic since March, preceeded by a short break and an attack in Jan. As I have whined before, I am in a temporary work situation that ends next summer. I'm the "breadwinner" in my relationship, and am specialized, so I need to plan ahead and look for a job NOW. I don't know how to approach that task while feeling like this.
The one plus that I thought of is that I have not had a new symptom since mid or late May, when my vision started to "ghost." Some symptoms intensified, but I didn't have any distinct, new ones since then.
I am thinking I will go back to my physician, who rx-ed the prednisone, and at least tell her how that went. I'll probably wait a few more days, but I think I will go. But of course she can only do so much, and she is also on board with the "hyper sensitive" theory and also told me that "lots of people have spots on their brain, even me!" in response to my brain MRI. Yeah, she's twice my age and her spots are her business, but I feel like my productive future is on the line, here.
My next neuro appt. is in October. I have no idea if/what/how he will proceed. In his defense, he has never made me feel like he doesn't believe me, and he does think my problems are neurological. I had a repeat brain MRI and an LP that he ordered in July. He told me if the MRI was changed or if the LP was positive, he would diagnose MS. But the MRI was the same as in Jan, and while I did not get the banding results, all the other LP stuff was spot on perfect. (Like the igG or whatever it is.)
The one "clue" that I feel my doctors have ignored is that I GET WORSE LYING DOWN. Always, and within minutes. This is reversible when I get up, again, within minutes. I can feel my symptoms change between standing, sitting, and lying down. When I lie down, the weird feelings in my face/hands/feet move into my torso and all intensify. When I sit, I get more burning in my face and arms, and more tingling and weird full feelings in my head. I've had my c-spine and l-spine studied under MRI, but I think there is still a chunk in the middle that has been overlooked. I've not heard others complain of this sort of posture dependence to the extent that I have it, and still think that this has to be a flag.
OK, I am officially ranting and whining. I want to be patient and not think of this stuff between appointments, I really do. But with the concentration problems and impending job situation, I don't feel like I can! I am so upset that this stuff always seems to just come back. I've read stories about other people who have years in between symptoms. I could go for, get, and settle into a new job if I had a long break. But being able to count the ok weeks out of the calendar year on one hand is just not enough.
If/when I do break down and go to my physician this week, does anyone have any ideas of what I can ask about? I really try to understand that they need to see what happens with me over time, and that time needs to pass in between tests, but once again the pressure is building and I'm not sure how to stay patient. Any ideas on how I can calm myself down?
Thanks, and pass the Kleenex....
~W
Hey Wonko -
Thanks for the note the other day. I'll say again what I said then and that is this: Though I dont have MS, I do have lupus with ALOT of neuro symptoms (actually, my neuro sx outweigh the lupus ones someties). Anyway, prednisone is an anti-inflammatory and an immune suppressant. Thus, it works for both lupus and MS in the same way, as they are both autoimmune diseases. OK, very often, (three times to me this year) you will start to feel dramatically better on the pred., as the inflammation is going down (yours on your spinal cord, i would presume) and alot of the symptoms caused by the inflammation begin to dissipate. NOW, the kicker is...when we start to taper off of the pred, the inflammation begins again, and symptoms return. After the third time this happened to me this past winter, we decided the only way I was to keep the flare under control, and keep the symptoms managable, was to stay on a low dose of prednisone daily. My docs were not crazy about this idea, as long term steroid use is not good - osteoporosis, wieight gain, diabetes, etc. Sometimes, the med is worse than the disease. However, as the pred is ALSO an immunosuppressant, it is helping slow the disease progression down, as well as keeping inflammation down.
So, the goal (in lupus anyhow) is to keep flares under control, be as symptom free as possible, on the lowest dose possible that produces this effect. For me, it is 20mg. Now, that is not where my docs want me to stay, so they tried to taper me to 15mg. Within a few days, my sx began, and I started feeling like ****. NOW, I had to start a BIG taper, double back up to 40mg, and taper back down. Well, too late. The flare is allive and well. In this instance, (tomorrow, actually), I will begin Imuran, which will allow me to come down from prednisone, without making flare worse. Hopefully, the flare will subside!!
So, in your case, I would ABSOLUTELY call your doc tomorrow, and tell them your symptoms are back now that you are off of the prednisone. They may need to do another stronger taper to get it under control. These are very short tapers you are on, so I wouldnt be TOO worried about any side effects. You really need to be on it a while to get teh BAD side effects. I think you said you hd insomnial the first few days...thats normal, and usually evens out. If you can handle it, I would definately try another taper, and in the meantime be talkng with your doc about what the next move will be if it doesnt work.
I know people are afraid of prednisone, and they should be to some extent, but it really is a wonderful, lif-saving drug. Problems usually arise after months of a continual dose like I have. (And I do have the moon face and gained about 10 lbs, but its SO WORTH IT, if you are feeling better, you know?)
Either way, I would not wait, but call your doc and tell them you are not well again after tapering off of the pred. I waited once and the doc said because I had, I allowed the diseaese to come back full force without any suppression drugs. Thus, I was worse off than when I started.
I hope this helps...Good luck and let us know how you make out!
Love Lauri
Thanks for the note the other day. I'll say again what I said then and that is this: Though I dont have MS, I do have lupus with ALOT of neuro symptoms (actually, my neuro sx outweigh the lupus ones someties). Anyway, prednisone is an anti-inflammatory and an immune suppressant. Thus, it works for both lupus and MS in the same way, as they are both autoimmune diseases. OK, very often, (three times to me this year) you will start to feel dramatically better on the pred., as the inflammation is going down (yours on your spinal cord, i would presume) and alot of the symptoms caused by the inflammation begin to dissipate. NOW, the kicker is...when we start to taper off of the pred, the inflammation begins again, and symptoms return. After the third time this happened to me this past winter, we decided the only way I was to keep the flare under control, and keep the symptoms managable, was to stay on a low dose of prednisone daily. My docs were not crazy about this idea, as long term steroid use is not good - osteoporosis, wieight gain, diabetes, etc. Sometimes, the med is worse than the disease. However, as the pred is ALSO an immunosuppressant, it is helping slow the disease progression down, as well as keeping inflammation down.
So, the goal (in lupus anyhow) is to keep flares under control, be as symptom free as possible, on the lowest dose possible that produces this effect. For me, it is 20mg. Now, that is not where my docs want me to stay, so they tried to taper me to 15mg. Within a few days, my sx began, and I started feeling like ****. NOW, I had to start a BIG taper, double back up to 40mg, and taper back down. Well, too late. The flare is allive and well. In this instance, (tomorrow, actually), I will begin Imuran, which will allow me to come down from prednisone, without making flare worse. Hopefully, the flare will subside!!
So, in your case, I would ABSOLUTELY call your doc tomorrow, and tell them your symptoms are back now that you are off of the prednisone. They may need to do another stronger taper to get it under control. These are very short tapers you are on, so I wouldnt be TOO worried about any side effects. You really need to be on it a while to get teh BAD side effects. I think you said you hd insomnial the first few days...thats normal, and usually evens out. If you can handle it, I would definately try another taper, and in the meantime be talkng with your doc about what the next move will be if it doesnt work.
I know people are afraid of prednisone, and they should be to some extent, but it really is a wonderful, lif-saving drug. Problems usually arise after months of a continual dose like I have. (And I do have the moon face and gained about 10 lbs, but its SO WORTH IT, if you are feeling better, you know?)
Either way, I would not wait, but call your doc and tell them you are not well again after tapering off of the pred. I waited once and the doc said because I had, I allowed the diseaese to come back full force without any suppression drugs. Thus, I was worse off than when I started.
I hope this helps...Good luck and let us know how you make out!
Love Lauri
Sorry, no answers here. Just empathy. I, too, thought I was starting to feel better, but that now seems not to be the case. For example, I have started having less feeling in my feet, which is making it difficult to drive since I have trouble finding the pedals in a hurry. I pretty much have to drive with my foot poised over the clutch (yes, we do need to get an automatic). Fortunately, I don't have to drive too much. Anyway, it seems to me almost, but not quite, worse to have that tantalyzing improvement briefly and then have it go away.
When I went to see a local neuro recently (started to think I need someone for emergencies), he brought up steroids and said he could give me some, but since I'm just having this gradual worsening, he thought I would feel better while on the steroids, but as soon as I got off, I would bounce right back to where I am. I guess you felt better after the steroids and not on them, but maybe the same kind of thing is happening.
It might be worth it to go to NYU or somewhere where you can get a doctor who will really think things through.
sho
When I went to see a local neuro recently (started to think I need someone for emergencies), he brought up steroids and said he could give me some, but since I'm just having this gradual worsening, he thought I would feel better while on the steroids, but as soon as I got off, I would bounce right back to where I am. I guess you felt better after the steroids and not on them, but maybe the same kind of thing is happening.
It might be worth it to go to NYU or somewhere where you can get a doctor who will really think things through.
sho
Thanks everyone for the wonderful, supportive replies. I know I've become a whiner, and hope to get out of the habit soon!
Yes, I do need to go back to my PCP and discuss this, like everyone says! Maybe she can advise me whether or not to try to push up my next neuro appt. I'm not sure about him right now, and maybe if I see him sooner I can better assess if I can get anywhere with him or if it will be more "well let's see what happens in a few more months." If I need to move on, better to find out sooner?
I want to be patient, and I know if "this" is something, I'll find out sooner or later. I've been distracted with meetings and other work junk, and now that I'm through all of that, the need to find my next position is in my face. With my symptoms returning, that just has me, well, freaked out!
I've tried talking to a therapist at work about what to do, and about how I come in "walking wounded" all of the time (when I sit at my desk and "pretend" to work, but am really worthless) and he just said to keep trying to do my best. I eat up my sick leave about as fast as I can acquire it, as I feel ethically compromised to always sit here and "pretend." So, you can imagine what an awful impression I'd make at a new job with a probation period. And another short-term (1-2 year) position seems like too much of a gamble!
I just feel awful, like I'm going to have to look for a "safe" job that will mean less $ (as the breadwinner in my household) and less what I want to do. I was so hoping to be better, or have a clue about what I am up against by now. I think I was able to displace all of these emotions with work distractions before, but now that the dust has settled, I need to face this!
It is very difficult on all of my relationships as well, as I am sure others can understand. It seems like everytime I tell everyone that I'm feeling better, I shortly thereafter feel worse, try to hide it, and then just hit the wall.
Sheesh, sounds like my pity party is not quite over. I don't like being this way, I've tried very hard to stay positive. I even try to believe the interesting "re-boot" theories and go along with the idea that this is "nothing," hoping for mind over matter to kick in.
Again, though stuff is returning, I still feel better than before. I'm not sure how long the effects from steroids can last, but my face is still covered in zits so hopefully they are still doin' there thing and maybe I'll be feeling ok for longer and I'm just down today.
Thanks again, I feel "needy" beyond what I should be in light of the positives in my life. I really hope to pull out of my funk and deal with my problems head on, but again, in the meantime, thank you so much!
~W
Yes, I do need to go back to my PCP and discuss this, like everyone says! Maybe she can advise me whether or not to try to push up my next neuro appt. I'm not sure about him right now, and maybe if I see him sooner I can better assess if I can get anywhere with him or if it will be more "well let's see what happens in a few more months." If I need to move on, better to find out sooner?
I want to be patient, and I know if "this" is something, I'll find out sooner or later. I've been distracted with meetings and other work junk, and now that I'm through all of that, the need to find my next position is in my face. With my symptoms returning, that just has me, well, freaked out!
I've tried talking to a therapist at work about what to do, and about how I come in "walking wounded" all of the time (when I sit at my desk and "pretend" to work, but am really worthless) and he just said to keep trying to do my best. I eat up my sick leave about as fast as I can acquire it, as I feel ethically compromised to always sit here and "pretend." So, you can imagine what an awful impression I'd make at a new job with a probation period. And another short-term (1-2 year) position seems like too much of a gamble!
I just feel awful, like I'm going to have to look for a "safe" job that will mean less $ (as the breadwinner in my household) and less what I want to do. I was so hoping to be better, or have a clue about what I am up against by now. I think I was able to displace all of these emotions with work distractions before, but now that the dust has settled, I need to face this!
It is very difficult on all of my relationships as well, as I am sure others can understand. It seems like everytime I tell everyone that I'm feeling better, I shortly thereafter feel worse, try to hide it, and then just hit the wall.
Sheesh, sounds like my pity party is not quite over. I don't like being this way, I've tried very hard to stay positive. I even try to believe the interesting "re-boot" theories and go along with the idea that this is "nothing," hoping for mind over matter to kick in.
Again, though stuff is returning, I still feel better than before. I'm not sure how long the effects from steroids can last, but my face is still covered in zits so hopefully they are still doin' there thing and maybe I'll be feeling ok for longer and I'm just down today.
Thanks again, I feel "needy" beyond what I should be in light of the positives in my life. I really hope to pull out of my funk and deal with my problems head on, but again, in the meantime, thank you so much!
~W
sorry to hear your going through this too.... I was on a short 5 day higher dose prednisone a few months ago, as I was have a bad time with dizzy, pain etc... My GP said try it and see if it helps and let the Neuro know when you see him.
It helped quite abit, not completely...but I sure felt better with my legs .. the day after I stopped them, it came back very fast and I ended up laying on the couch for two days. All the symptoms came back...my GP said they might come back fast or take a few months...or maybe go away..
well, the Neuro said Prednisone will make anyone feel better...so he didn't even care at the time that I took them...this is when he though I should see a psyciatrist...but he know thinks differently...since he examed me and saw me walking...
it was a strange appt...
anyway...don't give up...I'm in pain all the time lately...but the pain does change...and I have found if I get up from the chair or couch and move around a few minutes...it helps..temporaily mind you...same as when I add pressure to my thigh or calf it helps with the pain for a few minutes..
Neuro problems are not easy on anyone and I KNOW ALL THE DR seem to say the same thing...all around the world...they say...everyone has lesions in their head..????
but does everyone have the symptoms...Please keep hanging in there...if something is wrong...which it sounds like to me...it will show up sooner or later...and it's usually later it seems... I know how frustrating this is.. I'm still not Dx...and don't know when I will be..
My legs this weekend are so painful...I don't know if I can use them at times...?? enough about me... You take care
Hugs.
andi
It helped quite abit, not completely...but I sure felt better with my legs .. the day after I stopped them, it came back very fast and I ended up laying on the couch for two days. All the symptoms came back...my GP said they might come back fast or take a few months...or maybe go away..
well, the Neuro said Prednisone will make anyone feel better...so he didn't even care at the time that I took them...this is when he though I should see a psyciatrist...but he know thinks differently...since he examed me and saw me walking...
it was a strange appt...
anyway...don't give up...I'm in pain all the time lately...but the pain does change...and I have found if I get up from the chair or couch and move around a few minutes...it helps..temporaily mind you...same as when I add pressure to my thigh or calf it helps with the pain for a few minutes..
Neuro problems are not easy on anyone and I KNOW ALL THE DR seem to say the same thing...all around the world...they say...everyone has lesions in their head..????
but does everyone have the symptoms...Please keep hanging in there...if something is wrong...which it sounds like to me...it will show up sooner or later...and it's usually later it seems... I know how frustrating this is.. I'm still not Dx...and don't know when I will be..
My legs this weekend are so painful...I don't know if I can use them at times...?? enough about me... You take care
Hugs.
andi
I have to agree with Elaine. get to the best place and find out once and for all. Trust me, you DON'T want to get a Neuro sit down, look at each slide, kinda cough and sigh and tell you "well.... i have good news and bad news. The good is that i already know what's up, the bad, is that it's MS" bleh. Boring. It will only take you from neuro to the eeeeeveeeellll MRI machine "toc, toc, toc, toc, weeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! tic, tic, tic, riiiiiiiiiikkk!!!!" i hate that thing! and not to mention the meds.
I suffer from "that thing" and i haven't been on meds. Tried the Pred, nothing and you will have to tie me to a chair to get the Interferon. I take vitamins and do the Bach Flowers and homeopathy. I'm not saying they work 100% but no flares in a while, and aside from the "chopping feet" incident a couple of weeks ago, i feel good. I have given up the cane of doom and now i have nothing to hit them teens with, but it feels good.
I would say listen to Elaine and get your behind on that train. Once you know what's going on with you, then it's Wonko gets a new awesome job. End of story, children.
I wish you the best, as always. Im sorry, i ran out of Kleenex. I need to stay away from the Hallmark Channel.. ugh.
Love,
Farrah
I suffer from "that thing" and i haven't been on meds. Tried the Pred, nothing and you will have to tie me to a chair to get the Interferon. I take vitamins and do the Bach Flowers and homeopathy. I'm not saying they work 100% but no flares in a while, and aside from the "chopping feet" incident a couple of weeks ago, i feel good. I have given up the cane of doom and now i have nothing to hit them teens with, but it feels good.
I would say listen to Elaine and get your behind on that train. Once you know what's going on with you, then it's Wonko gets a new awesome job. End of story, children.
I wish you the best, as always. Im sorry, i ran out of Kleenex. I need to stay away from the Hallmark Channel.. ugh.
Love,
Farrah
Good Morning wonko,
I hate to say this, but last week I really wanted to post that you were on a steroid "high" and would soon crash. But I decided to let you enjoy it. Especially since if I was wrong, I would feel as though I let you down by being negative. Craig and I were so convinced that organic foods and his 40 supplements a day would fix his problem. They are important, don't get me wrong, and I am a supporter of lots of natural help, but it there is a disease, it will eventually again show its ugly head.,
Do you think that your neuro ever wrote possible MS or mentioned MS in any way in your chart?? I think that you should take your records and move on. I have never heard of nerves "re-booting". In that case, he should be telling you to take Green Tea supplements since Japanese researchers found that it promotes neuron growth. (Yes, Craig takes Green Tea too!).
Since you are a train ride away, why don't you go to NYU?? You could start with the MS center and if they don't think it is MS, then move over to their neurology unit. Look at how "dowma" has been helped by NYU Neurology.
Since you are on time constraints finding a job, you need to move quickly. I would go back to the PCP and tell her that everything is back just to document it. And then think about new appointments elsewhere. Do you have restrictions on where you can go because of insurance?
Could you please tell me what your brain MRI says?? Have you had adequate blood work for other diseases? Have you had a Western Blot for Lyme? Maybe twice in case of a false negative?
I really hope you can get some help.
Elaine
I hate to say this, but last week I really wanted to post that you were on a steroid "high" and would soon crash. But I decided to let you enjoy it. Especially since if I was wrong, I would feel as though I let you down by being negative. Craig and I were so convinced that organic foods and his 40 supplements a day would fix his problem. They are important, don't get me wrong, and I am a supporter of lots of natural help, but it there is a disease, it will eventually again show its ugly head.,
Do you think that your neuro ever wrote possible MS or mentioned MS in any way in your chart?? I think that you should take your records and move on. I have never heard of nerves "re-booting". In that case, he should be telling you to take Green Tea supplements since Japanese researchers found that it promotes neuron growth. (Yes, Craig takes Green Tea too!).
Since you are a train ride away, why don't you go to NYU?? You could start with the MS center and if they don't think it is MS, then move over to their neurology unit. Look at how "dowma" has been helped by NYU Neurology.
Since you are on time constraints finding a job, you need to move quickly. I would go back to the PCP and tell her that everything is back just to document it. And then think about new appointments elsewhere. Do you have restrictions on where you can go because of insurance?
Could you please tell me what your brain MRI says?? Have you had adequate blood work for other diseases? Have you had a Western Blot for Lyme? Maybe twice in case of a false negative?
I really hope you can get some help.
Elaine
I really understand how you are feeling. I too have been told by a neuro that there are a lot of neuro problems out there and a lot of them resolve themselves. That was over 3 years ago and I'm still going through this. As for everyone a lot of people having spots on their brain, perhaps, but do they also have symptoms going on?
I'm sorry you only got some temporary relief from the treatment but this should give them another piece to the puzzle and make them see that you didn't need to "reboot". Sheesh your a human not a computer.
I used to get breaks from my symptoms but this last year things are not improving. I seem to be getting steadily worse. I understand your concern for work as that is what I am facing now. I go back next week and not sure if I can do it.
You need to tell your doc how you are feeling. Tell him your concerns about your job situation and hopefully they will realize that the "rebooting" didn't work so there must be more going on. I know someone will come on with better advice but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone in this.
As for the patience, well I'm not so good at that myself so can't even tell you to hang in there. (but hang in there lol) I have shoulder here ready and willing for you anytime you need it.
Big Hugs
Moki
I'm sorry you only got some temporary relief from the treatment but this should give them another piece to the puzzle and make them see that you didn't need to "reboot". Sheesh your a human not a computer.
I used to get breaks from my symptoms but this last year things are not improving. I seem to be getting steadily worse. I understand your concern for work as that is what I am facing now. I go back next week and not sure if I can do it.
You need to tell your doc how you are feeling. Tell him your concerns about your job situation and hopefully they will realize that the "rebooting" didn't work so there must be more going on. I know someone will come on with better advice but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone in this.
As for the patience, well I'm not so good at that myself so can't even tell you to hang in there. (but hang in there lol) I have shoulder here ready and willing for you anytime you need it.
Big Hugs
Moki
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