OT-Tips for grieving pets

[Corriel]

Hi all, I had to put down one of my two cats (Maisie) yesterday at the age of 9.  I think the illness had been creeping in slowly over the last couple of months but it was only yesterday at the vet's office that she took a drastic turn.

My girls were littermates and kept each other company since they were born.  The surviving cat, Callie, has always been the more sickly of the two and her illnesses tend to be stress based.

Does anyone have any tips to share to help one pet cope with the loss of another?  I felt like a horrible parent coming to work today and leaving Callie home alone.  She meowed and wandered a lot last night and again this morning before I left but it is possible she is picking up on my grief and not necessarily feeling her own this early but I honestly have no idea.

I did make a vet appointment for Callie for next week just to cover my bases healthwise for her and I am trying to be attentive and soothing with her but I don't know if I should be washing things that Maisie slept on... that sort of thing.

Thanks,
Corrie

[candy158]

Hi COrrie, I'm so very sorry about Maisie.  It hurts, and it will hurt for quite along time.  I agree that when a pet passes, or needs to be put to sleep, ( I have had to that 4 times) , and what we do is to give yourself time to grieve.  But, actually getting a mate be it kittien, puppy , the older animal seems to take the new one under its wing, and it helps them.

It won't necessarily help us, that comes with time, but it does help to get another pet in time, for you and your other pets.  They are pack animals, and feel it quite a bit when someone is gone.

Give yourself time, and don't feel quilty, though I know how hard it is, I am now looking at the pictures of my old dogs, ( not cats, not really a cat person) , but we love dogs, but, it is important to help the other cat move on.  They pine sometimes to much and it can affect their health.

((HUGS)) to you,
Candy

[Corriel]

Thank you all so much!  I haven't ruled out getting another cat in time but I know that my girls were both very sick when I adopted them and they have Feline Herpes which is triggered by stress and hazardous when they get older and it makes them contagious to other cats unless they are in good health and vaccinated regularly.

Callie did better last night and actually ate quite a bit this morning so I am encouraged by that much at least.  She cried a lot but seemed good when I left this morning.  

My landlady is around this week to check on her while I am at work and I am reducing my time away from home as much as I can so she has me around.

She's being an excessive groomer though so I may need some kind of Kitty Prozac or something.  :)

I'll feel better when we go to the vet on Monday and get that stress over with for her.

It's weird only having one of them to look after.  We started off our journey almost 9 years ago and on their second day with me we were at the vet.  That started a long road of illnesses for both of them.  Poor Maisie wasn't even expected to last the first week I had her so I feel blessed to have spent that much "extra" time with her.

Thanks again to all of you, I have been kind of all over the place this week trying to wrap my head around everything but I think I am starting to adjust and think clearly and your suggestions and comments have been exactly what I needed.

Corrie

[karryon55]

So sorry to hear this Corrie. I just recently lost my beloved Dog so I know how hard it is.

I had a cat that was on Amitriptyline for anxiety many many years ago so there are medications available for cats like that. I would give Callie a chance before you jump into anything. You are not a horrible mum & Callie may settle naturally which only time will tell.

Getting a new cat so soon could spell disaster because they may not get along & then you have more than one problem. I've just been there done that & it made life pretty difficult.

Do you have someone who can check on Callie when you are at work just for a few days?

Take Care,

Karry.

[Poppy7402]

Corrie, I'm so sorry to hear that you've had to say goodbye to your beloved Maisie.

Best wishes

Poppy

[doublevision1]

Corrie, so sorry that you lost your dear Maisie. I'm not sure if this is available for cats, but when we lost our first male standard poodle, we gave his sister Clomicalm for a couple of weeks. It's an antidepressant used to treat separation anxiety in dogs. Our girl was so anxious after her brother died quite suddenly. She was looking for him everywhere, wouldn't go outside or eat. We gave her tons of attention and love (I needed a whole week off work myself, I was so distraught at the loss), kept a very predictable schedule, and after she started coming around, we weaned her off the Clomicalm gradually and she was fine. Perhaps there is a version of this for cats.

I like Kyle's suggestion. We didn't get another dog until after our female had died, looking back I wish we had gotten her another sibling as she was always used to other dogs being around. Since Callie is not used to being on her own, in time a new kitty may be just what she needs.

[kwarendorf]

Hi Corrie - Sorry to hear about Maisie.

The only ting I can suggest is another cat :-) When my girlfriend's cat was about 10 years old she got a kitten. Sammy, the kitten, and Coatie were thick as thieves.

Fast forward 6 years and we had to let Coatie go. Sammy was beside himself. He walked around the apartment for months, wailing constantly. He had never been alone. He went from his littermates to Coatie.

After 6 months of wailing Linda got a new kitten. The minute we brought her home, Sammy clammed up. Not a peep since :-)

Kyle

[HVAC]

I usually have five pets. Three dogs and two cats. They give unconditional love. I try to put all my attention on the remaining pets when we lose one. Time helps but you always miss them. Also allow yourself to grieve she was a part of your family. With me we usually give a home in time to another pet. We took on a Dalmatian puppy this spring. We had lost our oldest dalmatian a few year back. We have a 13 year old dalmatian, a four year old foxhound, and a 10 month old dalmatian. We also have to 6 year old cats, brothers. I would grieve any of them if I lost them.

Alex