2009 was a heck of a ride for me, but one of the things i did to keep my self focused on getting back up, was the little and sometimes huge goals i set for myself, does anybody else do this? Well some of you will remember my 2009 episode began in April, from day one i set goals, even if it was ok 2 steps before you touch the wall this time, I even got back to doing a run at one stage. I was a little discouraged when i slipped back down but still i kept on moving forward when ever i could, even finding amusment when something new arrived and everyone around me was freaking out. Though they did eventually get sick of me saying "I see nothink, nothink" or "if you see what I see you've been corrupted by my imagination" LOL but overall my wicked sense of humor won them over.
I set a huge goal at the beggining of this and that was to once again be wakeboarding, over the Christmas break and whats our summer holiday time, I attempted to wakeboard but found my legs once out of the water, just couldn't hold me up. I wasn't really suprised, the heat was knocking me about and i was dealing with pain in muscles i didn't even know i had and the veins all over my body where now prominently displayed, bulging ropey things, especially in my left leg and arm. Activity and the heat made my left side useless more often than not but being true to my self i continued to be determined to find a way, even if it killed me LOL!!!!
Well i reached that goal last weekend, it was a long weekend and we extended it to wednesday (Australia Day public holiday here), first remembering Lulu's idea that the last time I tried and failed could of been due to the Hypo signs i'd missed, so I fueled my body well, took painkillers before and got my self geared up and ready. I'd adjusted my goal to just being able to get up out of the water and if that happened to then stay up for 5 meters, I was still determined to pay the price if only i could acomplish this goal. I knew i had some compensating to do because my left side is toast but my right was getting pretty stong and i had hope that it would be strong enough to hold.
OH MY GOD WHAT A FEELING!!!!!!!
I got up first time, my right leg and arm did most, if not all the work and held true, I was wakeboarding and i could hear my son screaming and cheering me on above the roar of my husbands lower pitch. I would of been happy with that but being the stuborn so and so i am, I quickly changed my goals to staying up for the first bend in the river, then to after crossing the wake and headed for my first jump, then the second, third until my legs gave out and I crashed with all the finess of a crash test dummy ROFL!
I was running off adrenaline and knew i needed to try to get up out of the water again, so I did and my leg still held. It was wonderful, only glitch was the blood running out of my nose, I thought it water until after i came off the second time. Because my son was worried about the blood i shrugged it off as no biggy and set out to get up a third time, wakeboarding back to out camp on the beach, I think I was just about praying my leg would not fail me, when he needed to see I/we/us could do what ever we set our heart and minds to, if we just didn't give up.
I made it back in one peice but i was not getting out of the water without help, i was jelly, no stength left to hold myself up against gravity, so i bobbed in the water wating for them to turn around and hall me out of the water like a dead fish, i was on cloud nine and didn't care. Their whooping and cheering brought me back to earth and that was lucky because in my husbands excitement he'd accidentally pulled the safety key out and they were about to hit me, he couldn't turn or do anything to avoid hitting me. His face turned to horror, so i knew he wasn't being silly, i had to move or be run over. I was floating without my feet near the bottom and i couldn't get them to move, i reached down with my arm and pushed off the bottom as hard as i could, fully expecting the impact that never came.
I'd moved only a few inches and he'd thrown his weight trying to turn but with out the steering it was effectively a skipping stone, it missed by an inch or so, how we dont know but it missed! I was still unable to stand and my son held my head out of the water as i screamed through the pain in my left arm, it was the only side close enough to push off with. My husband was devestated, tears flowing down his face the only thing he could say was sorry, sheesh it was an accident, not intentinal, its not everyday he throws his hands over his head clapping whilst he cheers what i've accomplished. If he wasn't so happy and proud it wouldn't of happened, can't be mad about that, can you!!
Even with the drama, lots of jokes from me and our son saying how great it was to see me jump but he was holding his breath every time, me doing tricks not because i was trying to but because my right side was stronger than my left and i kept doing 180's which my son though was really cool, then laughed along with me when he discovered they where fukes. Oh what a great time it was, I dont care that i'm hurting, I did it, I did it, I did it!
Your so so good to me, no wonder i miss you all when i cant get on the web!
Lulu: we are getting a new boat, one that i can easily sit in without loosing the use of my body for hours afterwards. At the moment we have a 4 seater jetski, which requires me by law to face the skier (observing), hanging on for dear life as i get thrown about. After a run i'm hurting, normally get all the old numb spots in my left side and I walk like a duck, a rather drunk duck!
Ren: Oh lorrrdy dont feel guilty, but do get moving, well as long as its doing something that brings your heart rate up with the sheer glee of doing it, and that really does NOT mean getting the vac out!!!
He he he, as a wakeboarder i'm an oldie, the young lad's dont believe me when i say i wakeboard but they get a kick out of seeing me when i do it. Little do they know that its easier than slalem skiing, now that takes more strength than i have had for a long time. You get sucked under as the boat takes off but wakeboarding is a twist and you pop on top of the water straight away, so not as much energy expelled in just getting up and i think theres less balance required too.
You know i think my nose only bleeds because of the combo pain meds i'm now taking, they have a anti inflamitory bit in them which seems to help with my ropey veins, not sure but i dont normally get nose bleeds and they have been happening lately, but knowing me i just hit hard enough to shove the water up my nose LOL!
Payback is a killer, i take a while to straighten up, they are calling me 'quasi moto' because of the way my body is twisted, left shoulder down and left leg not keeping up with the right, still it was worth it. Hopefully i'll be recovered by the Easter holidays so i can torture my self all over again ROFL!
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