What Do I Do? I've Been Given Very Little Time

[sunnysmom]

I thought I had ovarian carcinosarcoma beat -- it was diagnosed at Stage IA a year ago and after surgery and six months of ifosfamide and cisplatin, I was given a better than 90% chance of no recurrence.  Yesterday, 20+ tumors were found via a CT scan in my lungs.  There is no sign of disease in my abdomen.  My oncologist is recommending carboplatin/taxol to see if we can knock this all in remission.   I'm told this chemo regimen will be so much easier than the last, and that it should work for a couple months.  Basically I'm told I have 1-3 months to live.  I'm leaving behind my 11 year old daughter.  How in the world does one accept this without just throwing in the towel?  My husband wants me to "fight."  No going quietly.  What the hell does that mean?  I've done everything since chemo ended in November 2008 -- vegan diet, exercise, sleep, kept stress low, and still this.  Does anyone have any thoughts, experiences or advice to share?  Has anyone had lung metastasis, done carboplatin/taxol, and lived, say six months or a year?  

[gma718]

My prayers and thoughts are with you always...keep fighting...keep praying....Love, Gia

[sunnysmom]

Thanks everyone for these posts.  I haven't been checking, having been occupied with a running of a guantlet around a now debunked scare that there was also brain metastasis.

It's so true that the doctor's best guess last Friday put me into a place of preparing to die.  I learned a lot about me (and this process).  Ironically, that doctor was the second opinion.  I had my first face-to-face with my oncologist yesterday and to say the least she is more optomistic.

All the best,
Ashley  

[Brownie3321]

FIGHT!!!!! LAUGH!!!!!! LOVE!!!!!! MAKE MEMORIES!!!!!!
Don't sit back, prove them wrong. LIVE each day to the fullest and tell yourself everyday that you won't let this disease take you. Be in control of your thoughts and continue to fight for your husband, daughter, and more importantly - you!!! My prayers are with you, Deandra

[survivor_susie]

We all have our happy stories, and I'm no exception.  I know of a woman in Connecticut with stage 4 breast cancer, still going to work every day after being at stage 4 for almost 10 years. Doctors had given up on her.

Another man is at stage 4 with a type of cancer that initially wrapped around his heart.  He's 3 years out and feeling just fine.

Tumors can apparently just stop thriving and become stable.  When they do, many doctors just decide to do nothing; why risk ruining homeostasis? I pray that your tumors will just stabilize and that you'll live a long, healthy life.

[Texas Grannie]

I wish I could give you peace and hope. You are so young. Do you believe in God? God is my solution. I am not talking of death, I am speaking of strength. In some of my darkest times, God has been with me to strengthen and guide me. He says to ask and it will be given. Live as happy as you can for you little girl. Live as long as you can for her. Show her what love is. Tell her stories about your childhood, sing songs with her, hold her with love when she cries. Your cancer will become less important and that sweet girl will benefit as well as you.

[ChrisP2236]

I work with a woman whose mother was dx stage IV ovca and "on her deathbed" in the hospital.  Her gyn/onc called the family all in to say goodbye.  My friend wouldn't accept that and contacted another gyn/onc who came in, took a look and said "I think I can do something."  That was 37 years ago - and her mother is still going strong at 70+.  And she beat breast cancer after that. There is always hope so don't let anyone give you a timeline - only your maker knows and he's not telling anyone.  Keep fighting.  Hugs to you, Chris P

[Sherrygail]

Last May when I was diagnosed with stage IV, I was given 4 carbo/taxol treatments, followed by surgery, followed by another 5 carbo/taxol treatments.  My body responded well to that combination.  Good luck!

[Knotmeg]

I'm sorry that your doctor told you this kind of news.... I would hope that your doctor might understand that you need encouragement.  There are ways to  be HONEST about the reality of your diagnosis and still be filled with hope.

I love this poem....
i thought of it when I read your post.  

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
(Dylan Thomas)

[Lafnatitall]

I'm Stage 3C. Four months ago, I had my last chemo session. I was told last week that the cancer had recurred. The oncs told me they wanted to "wait" another 2 months to treat so they could see it on a CT scan. WAIT is not a word we women here use...I'm surprised it hasn't been banned by the forum directors! I'm now moving to San Antonio Tx to get treatment right now and gather more options. If the docs don't give you enough options, go find your own and another doc who has others.  Read, study, ask questions, and then ask more questions...that's what it means to fight. My family in TX have all taken on a specific task to get me down there for treatment. They told me that my job was to do EVERYTHING possible to keep healthy and in good "fighting" condition. I've always referred to my cancer as a "dance" where I take the lead. Every now and then, cancer wants to lead, but I quickly step on toes to get it to go my way! Sometimes I dance with cancer, sometimes with chemo, and sometimes with NED (No Evidence of Disease)...he's my favorite partner. So get out there and step on some toes and make cancer follow your lead...don't let doctors tell you when the music will end.

Rhonda

[onniebay]

I just wanted to say I'm sorry you are going through this.  Please never give up hope.  You will be in my thoughts and prayers.  

[JC145]

Just wanted to echo all of the above.  It's extremely hard to stay positive sometimes but you haven't tried anything for this yet for this recurrence.  I'll keep you in my prayers.
Judy

[crecco]

I am another one who says do not listen to that timetable. When your husband tells you to fight, no going quietly, I am sure that he is talking about doing everything the Drs say. But I would almost be thinking of finding another opinion. I am sure there is another Dr out there that will tell you he can help. The fight also comes from within. You must decide that you are not going to sit back and let them tell you that you are going to die, and just leave it at that.There are lots of chemos out there that can help fight this and I do know that sometimes radiation helps when it is in the lungs. So take control and if you do not like what your Dr is doing, get a second opinion and even a third if it will help you to know that you are doing all you can.
    Chris

[Jan214]

We have had several women on here whose oncs have told them something like that and some have proved their oncs wrong.  Keep a fighting spirit, and go to another dr if this one is not going to help you continue the fight.  Good luck to you.
Jan

[SimplyStar]

My daughter left the doctor that wanted her to contact hospice and do the pain control thing,  She is fighting to live, it is sometimes rough, but each day is a new one and everyday is precious,  She is now on her 4th chemo and will look forward to another one if necessary to live .  The fighting spirit and the faith in Gods love is what is what is keeping her going.  You can do this, as you have read, many others have and so can you.  Marty

[marie3B]

I  don't like that the doc gave that kind of timetable.  It is not helpful and it is in no way set in stone.  You may respond very well to treatment.  There are so many drugs that have not been tried for you.  My dad was given 3 months to live.  Because of the grim prognosis, he did not take chemo and fight agressively.  He still lived over 8 years.  I cannot help but wonder if his doc had not discouraged him with the poor prognosis and he had taken the chemo, would he still be alive???  Fight, honey.  I have high hopes for you.  Marie

[Mags711]

Please don't give up, give yourself permission to grieve about the way you are feeling, then pick yourself up and move forward, never back, always forward.  I believe I owe it to myself, my husband and my children to do everything I can to live.  Continue with all your healthy living habits, diet, exercise and incorporate visualization, meditation, yoga in your regimen.  My husband says my job is to stay as healthy as possible and that is one of the reasons I found this site and try to check it everyday.  

The women here are inspirational, I want to leave this world on my own terms and having done something to help my daughter's physical future a little brighter. Please, please find the positive and grab it.
Maggie

[jlock]

Please do not let this Dr. give you a time table that he really has no idea of.  I know they sometimes think they are God but they aren't.  I know a lady dx. with stage 4 and given less than 6 months.  Well she's still here,with no recurrence 12 years later.  I was told that "cure is off the table" 7 months after my dx. in 2004.  i'm still here,I've had 2 recurrences so far,but I'm here and feeling great.  ((((hugz)))) and prayers~~~~Joanne

[vegas2cr]

15 months ago I was diagnosed with stage IV and given 6 months or less... My answer was the HELL you say... Fight everyday for every moment... No Doctor in the world can tell you how long you are going to live..Focus your energy on getting healthy, take the chemo talk to yourself and watch in your mind those cancer cells go...
If you are not comfortable with your doctor get a new one and get a second opinion. Not going quietly means to me looking into your husband and childs eyes and knowing you hve done everything and I mean everything to stay alive...how can they expect any less from a loving Mom and wife...

I send to you my best and don't you dare give up.. Ronni

[StillFighting]

My husband wants me to "fight."  No going quietly.  What the hell does that mean?

it means dont give up hon. Dr's can't accurantly perdict when you are going to die and when your not. If you feel time is short then get out there and live each day to its fullest. pack all the memories into your daughters head that you can, so that when she has kids of her own she can share those experiences and have the grandkids get to know you through her....did that make since?

hell you should be doing that reguardless of the cancer hehehehe. I was given the same prognosis back in 2001 when I got ovc. was told everything looked great. then 5 years later had a recurrance. and has been through chemo twice more and two more surgery's since. I'm in remission right now. I've had the cancer in my breasts, wrapped around my intenstines and liver and well its been all over the place.
I send you and your family lots of healing energy...

[ForAnna]

I have a friend who was diagnosed in 2000 with Stage IV ovarian and given a <5% chance of making it five years – it was everywhere!  After one recurrence in 2003 she even had yet another 2.5 year remission and it was like she had never been sick.  It has not been an easy road since then - tons of chemo, tears and prayers - BUT also tons of laughter, making memories and being an inspiration to others.  She is still here today and saw all her children graduate from HS and one from college.

Cry now - grieve the unthinkable and then get back to living and fighting as long as you have it in you to do so. Medical doctors tell you the medical stats but they have no control over faith, fight, fate, fears, the power of love, the will to live and the grace of God.  I have seen them proven wrong many times.  When you need inspiration you may want to watch Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture on U-tube. Tomorrow is promised to no one but in the same vein, no one can number our days.  Love and hope to you!

[rosebud62]

I am so sorry for the bad news your doctor gave you.  Your husband is right, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!  I do not know about your spirtual life, but God loves you, and wants you healthy!  You must have faith, and trust in God.  There is a scripture in the Bible that says; But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon Him; and with His stripes, we are healed. Isaiah 53:5.  This does not only mean our sins, but physical healing as well.  Claim your healing in Jesus name, and believe you are healed!  Stay positive!  I'm praying for you right now, Just Believe.  God is more powerful than doctors.  Please trust what I am saying.  There are lots of healing scriptures in the Bible.  I will pray, for you constantly!  
God Bless You and Yours,
Dee

[Scubagrandma]

I was told I was "inoperable/terminal" 8 months ago.  I have been on chemo for this recurrence and it has slowed the growth of the cancer.  I feel good and have been living every day to the fullest.  There are a lot of drugs you can take to possibly slow this down for a long time. My cancer has come back in my chest also. Even though you are very firghtened right now listen to all your options.  Get a second opinion if you are not given any options.