FTM Planning a home birth, any advice?

[Van818]

I'm 40 y/o and planning a home birth even though this is my first pregnancy. I really, really hate hospitals and I'm not a big fan of doctors either. The deal is I get 2 midwives with me the whole time and a birthing pool. They phone the emergency service as soon as labour starts, to have them prepped/on standby if needed. Anyone else have a home birth in their first? How did you deal with pain relief?

[Moluko]

I really want to have a natural home birth. I even interviewed midwives. In the end I didn't have one because I couldn't get the insurance approval or switch insurance plans in time.

But I feel like I lucked out. I was 35 and healthy. Perfect pregnancy and low risk. That is until after I gave birth. My placenta was stuck and wouldn't come out. I was bleeding. I got wheeled into the OR and it took hours for the doc to take it out manually piece by piece. And they used ultrasound to scan to make sure they got all of it. Lost a lot of blood but after a few hours and recovery from  anethesia, I rejoined my baby in the maternity ward. I might not have made it if I was at home and had to call for ambulance rescue.

Since this is the 35+ area, I just want to throw it out there. At a certain age, even if we are healthy and can technially pass as low risk, I don't think we really are low risk. I might be more adamant to try natural home birth if I was in my twenties. But with my window getting smaller and smaller, and knowing I want 3+ children, I can't take the risk or losing a baby or dying myself, especially after what I experienced.

Of course I have watched tons of beautiful home birth videos and envy moms who were able to do that. But in the end, I think having a healthy baby and me being around to be a mother to that baby is the most important thing.

Yes, hospitals can be cold and sterile. Doctors are doctors...but they are trained to do the job. It was the lovely nurses who cared for me during and post labor that made the hospital tolerable.

Big decision for everyone to make and the best thing is you are free to make that decision for yourself and your baby. Good luck ladies!!

[BaneSprout1]

Thank you for bravely sharing your story, ohgoodtimes. That is an important message about what exactly can be at stake. I'm so sorry for your loss but glad to hear that you went on to have a healthy baby.

[ohgoodtimes]

My first was a homebirth and she died while in labor. really by the time you transfer to hospital the baby doesn't have very much of a chance. We lived less than two miles from the hospital and rushed there. By the time they got the ultrasound and everything it was too late and my daughter was gone. It was awful. After researching the statistics in America for death rates in and out of hospital i found out that you are five times more likely to have your baby die at home. And thats for low risk births.

My second baby i had in the hospital and she is healthy and happy 11 month old. Ill do the same again.

Its horrible to live with the fact that your baby died because you wanted some ideal birthing situation. There are a lot of anecdotal stories of "my baby was fine" or "wont happen to me" mentality. But you cant argue with statistics. IMO homebirth is NOT worth the risk. I promise. Hospitals nowadays allow for choices and natural birth options and the safeguard of medical interventions that save babies lives. I wish i wouldnt have been so blind to that.

Good luck in whatever you choose. I just have to speak up because i wish someone would have warned me. I might have my daughter here with me today.

[Robynnfrick]

In fact, my experience was so wonderful,  we are having a 4th child due in August and planning another water birth for this one as well. I am now 41 years old.

[Robynnfrick]

I had a home birth/water birth with my third son. I would have done it that way for all three if i know it was an option 20 years ago. My experience was fabulous! ! I made my birth plan, which is important to rap your head around the whole concept and procedure. I had two midwives present during the labor and listed to their every word. I had my husband, 3 sisters, and two children there for support as well. The pain is not fun. It was when i gave into the pain, my son decended into the birth canal and smoothly came out. I did not push at all. I let my body do what it is intended to do. It was the most beautiful birthing experience i ever had, considering my first two were hospital born. Dont let people scare you or look at you weird for making this decision.  Birthing with no drugs gives you the opportunity to feel every emotion of the process... something medicated mom's dont go through the same way. Your milk supply will be plenty and your connection with baby wil be feirce. You also get bragging rights of a super woman!! Also look into encapsulation of the placenta.  It comes in pill form and your energy will be out the roof once the little one gets here. Congrats on your homebirth decision and good luck with your water birth.  Believe in your self... you can do this ❤

[Sab4]

I hemorraghed after my daughter was born (it is not common as it only happens after about 4% of pregnancies). The nurses mentioned that just between the delivery room and OR I lost more than 2 liters of blood. That night I was extremely weak and my body temp was so low they couldn't even get a reading on the thermometer. I was wrapped in heating blankets and my husband had to hold my baby up against me because I didn't have the strength to hold her little 5 pound body. Had the doctors not been there to respond quickly my husband would be alone with our children. I always thought a home birth would be great, but after my experience I wouldn't chance it. In the end I just want a beautiful healthy family.  Please do not take this as a negative post, I just never thought such a scary thing could happen after having a perfectly normal pregnancy. The odds are not great of this happening, but they are there.

[LynxLove]

My first was a home birth. I had a birthing tub and it helped. The biggest thing with dealing with labor pains is accepting it. Let your body take lead and get in the zone. Our bodies know what to do, but we tend to over think them and get in the way. Practice relaxing techniques. Let the contraction roll through you, don't fight it. Save your energy for when your body tells you when to push. Have a great support team who are knowledgeable, very compitent, and who you trust. If they say do something, trust them enough to do it. Homebirths are so enpowering and amazing. This next LO will also be a homebirth. I followed my bodies lead and had baby in arms with four hours of transition. Less than 45 minutes of pushing because I had the energy for it.

[pewterdragon]

Too many what ifs for me to even consider a home birth, best of luck tho.

[sorenr]

I had a home birth with my third as my second had gone so well and quickly (4hrs) it all went fantastically and my son was born within 3hrs of my first contraction. I had gas and air for pain relief.

Be prepared to throw in the towel and head to hospital and don't be disappointed if you do, it's like the not taking drugs thing, grand if you manage to cope, doesn't matter if you can't. Getting baby out safely for both of you is the priority. Giving birth at home is a wonderful experience, calm and peaceful, but I know I was very lucky to have it all go so well. Like anyone's birth plan, try not to be rigid with what you want, go with the flow and do what is necessary or right at the time. Let your body do all the work, don't fight it with your head, it doesn't help, just focus, stay upright or on all fours as much as possible and trust and listen to your midwives. I hope you have a wonderful, positive experience and a nice quick labour! I love telling people I gave birth at home, they always look at me like I have horns...and I live in the UK where we're pretty chilled about childbirth! Feel free to message me if you have any other questions about it, I got no responses at all here about my home birth, we're a rare breed that choose to do it! :)