Should I stay with a cheap man

[sunnyblue50]

Should I stay with my cheap boyfriend? I knew my boyfriend for 18 months. He wanted to move in with me but I really wasn't ready for a relationship yet. And I really didn't want to live with anymore. But I gave in. So he moved in. WOW.
I don't know about guys but if they can take advantage they will. My rent is subsidized.My mistake is I told him how much my rent is. And now he just wants to pay that small portion.And half of the cable bill. I really feel that I am being taken advantage of. Secondly, we really never had a nice date. Maybe, a quick meal and a walk in the park. He claims
that it is my fault because I never want to go anywhere.Thirdly, I am presently looking for a job so I guess I am in a BAD situation.Oddly, If I ask him to buy me something I need he will take his time. I feel like I am being controlled and treated like an idiot. I really don't know if I should be grateful or I am being selfish. He says, he really love me but is this how loves goes when your BROKE or I am the problem!!

[teko]

If your rent is subsidized, does that not mean it goes by your income? Does his living there change that agreement and raise your payment? Sounds to me like he found a cheap place to hang his shirt. You do not sound happy, never wanted him living in, so why did you concede? Yes I think you need to diss the cheap guy and put yourself a little bit higher on what you want and deserve out of life. Give in now and you will live like this with one or the other the rest of your life and never have a pot to **** in. Sorry so blunt. Lose him and go to school and get some education and land a great job and share you with someone who is worthy. Never ever settle for less than your heart desires.

[Londres70]

Just reread your post.  Definitely NO compatibility here.  What you are looking for he is NOT.  Will agree with Rockrose and Specialmom.  

Subsidized rent?  Looking for a job?  Sounds like you don't have much and you are looking for someone to foot your bills too; pay for everything.  Sounds a bit "gold digger-ish."  If anyone is taking advantage of the situation I think it is you dear.  

Then you go on to say....." My mistake is I told him how much my rent is. And now he just wants to pay that small portion.And half of the cable bill. I really feel that I am being taken advantage of."  Is telling the truth a mistake?  Plus, this is SUBSIDIZED rent which is PROBABLY "peanuts" to pay in comparision with an "ACTUAL" rent.  

Your statement....."Oddly, If I ask him to buy me something I need he will take his time. I feel like I am being controlled and treated like an idiot."  Why should he be responsible for buying you things?  If it is his money then he can take his time and/or buy things for you if he wants and when he wants.  This is NO obligation.  You should buy your OWN things.  

I think you are just looking at the relationship in terms of $$$$ and it is obvious this will NOT work.  It is just NOT right to ask someone to be and do things YOU don't and can't do.  

[specialmom]

I agree with rockrose dear.  If your housing is subsidized and there is only a small portion you owe, why again is he to pay more than that??  Are you wanting to make money off of him?  I don't really understand that.  To me, if he were 'cheap'------  he'd not pay for rent at all but instead is paying all that you owe, correct?  

Ya know, my husband is very frugal.  I learned long ago that he will watch his money quite carefully and at times when I'm in the mood to spend, annoyingly so as I can be a good little spender.  But, there is something wonderful that happens in our relationship.  We balance one another.  I feel so safe with my husband as he will never let us spend more than we have.  We carry not one penny of personal debt beyond our mortgage which he pays off extra each year.  We may not have everything that the "jone's" have (you know, those lucky folks next door . . . next door to everyone as it always seems there is someone with more right around the corner wherever I move to)---  but we have what we need minus any debt.  So, if I were on my own, maybe that wouldn't be the case.  So, I get him to spend more and he gets me to spend less.  Perfect.  

If you feel like you can't live as he lives financially---  then it might not be a good relationship to continue with.  I look at these things as the business end of a relationship and what really can make it or break it for the long run.  

If you said he wasn't paying the living expenses he is and contributing in that way, I'd say ditch the loser.  But, he is.  So, it is up to you if it is enough or not.  goodluck

[RockRose]

It sounds like you're both broke and he's paying all the rent. I don't really see that as "cheap" - if he doesn't have any money,  and neither do you,  it's hard to expect a big spender.

[shell921]

I say kick him OUT-! O-U-T-! I quit seeing a cheapskate man who was smart and handsome and funny and he had a good job but he refused to leave tips in restaurants. I could not stand to be with cheap man.

get him away from you asap. and chalk it up to experience. you learned something valuable. never let a man move in with you unless and until you know him really well and have an agreement about finances.

[Londres70]

Frankly, if you are feeling all this negativity being with this man ONLY after 18 months I would recommend ending it dear.  You sound terribly upset and unhappy.  There is ZERO compatibility here.    

[lisaob1]

hi hun,i think your answering your own question,your obviously not happy,and not matter what anyone tells you,i think you already know how you feel...how can you be the problem regarding your own life...if you not happy,then its not right and not to be..good luck xx