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Are all husbands such jerks and not sensitive to a woman's feelings?
Can someone tell me if all husbands are jerks and are there any out there who are not interested in only sex. I would like to know how others get treated by their husbands. Wives or husbands please tell me something sweet about marriage. Can anyone give me hope? Or is marriage just like a dying flower, only beautiful for the first sweet hour?
Marriage has its ups And down, like now for example I am down b/c my (I call him roommate when I am mad at him cause he acts worse than a roommate) comes home late at night bc he has to stay at work late since he doesn't know how to manage his time to get the job done and worst of all when he does get home he acts all mad and upset eg. Jerk and complains that he hasn't eaten lunch or breakfast and wants to eat. Like as if he just walked in to a restaurant or something!!!! And oh yeah he leaves the table with all the food and plates and everything and goes to bed or falls asleep on the couch. Now my complain is it's not my fault he doesn't know how to manage his time better, get things done that are lingering over for months or that he doesn't set 20 minuets Aside Ina day to eat. Mind u lunch is prepacked for him most of the time. I can use a suggestion or a tip too if anyone has anything to say. ( by the way he works for himself so it's not like he makes more money if he comes home late, and I contantly have to hear how he has TOO MUCH TO DO )
Many thanks to your comments. It helps me to see marriage at different angles. I am very very strong in nature and I am not easily swayed in my oippinions of people and situations once the chips have fallen and lay. But I am trying and I am glad I asked. It is helpful to open up like this and ask. I will take what you each have said and try to apply it to my own situation as best I see fit. Thanks
My husband and I have been married 3 years, together 6 (known each other for about 15-20 years) and he's still sensitive to my feelings, needs and what not.
Granted we do have our issues and we do argue/fight but that doesn't mean his personality changes.
When it comes to sex....I'm actually the more sexual one. Yeah, my sex drive is higher than his. I feel bad because he's always saying that's all I want. lol It's obviously not, I love my husband and love being around him.
Granted we do have our issues and we do argue/fight but that doesn't mean his personality changes.
When it comes to sex....I'm actually the more sexual one. Yeah, my sex drive is higher than his. I feel bad because he's always saying that's all I want. lol It's obviously not, I love my husband and love being around him.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Marriage is really hard work Sweet. Hang in there. You can expect highs and lows. I always try to approach my husband when I'm looking for a change in HIS attitude in such a way to not make him defensive. I talk about how I love him and want him to be happy and me to be happy. Sometimes asking him what he needs in the relationship to feel more secure, respected, happy helps open up a conversation. Listening to what he has to say sometimes gives me clues to WHY he acts the way he does. Sometimes if I myself change something I'm doing, I get a different reaction for him that I like better. And while having those conversations, I can convey my needs too. But always under the discussion headline of how we can be a great couple.
But really, know that you aren't alone and stay patient as you work through the tough times. good luck and peace
But really, know that you aren't alone and stay patient as you work through the tough times. good luck and peace
Thanks to all who shared. I actually wanted to know because it helps just hearing others speak out and say their experiences. I will do what I can with what you all have commented. I am married and things have been tough. Thanks everyone.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hm. Well, married for 11 years and together 14. I would say that my husband has his moments of being an insensitive jerk . . .but so do I. Nobody is perfect all of the time or even great all the time and most people aren't insensitive jerks all the time. But . . . if someone is MOST of the time----------- don't marry them!! Many jerks reveal themselves during dating but those clues are overlooked. Don't overlook them!!
One of the things that I love about my husband is that if he IS a jerk, he'll apologize. He is committed to our relationship and wants me to be happy and us to be happy together. He doesnn't want to be a jerk and will try not to be.
So, not sure why you asked this question--------- but if you are dealing with a jerk, let us know what he is doing and if you are married or dating at the present time.
One of the things that I love about my husband is that if he IS a jerk, he'll apologize. He is committed to our relationship and wants me to be happy and us to be happy together. He doesnn't want to be a jerk and will try not to be.
So, not sure why you asked this question--------- but if you are dealing with a jerk, let us know what he is doing and if you are married or dating at the present time.
My husband and I will be married two years in September. Maybe that puts our marriage in the "first hour"...I realize that we have a lifetime ahead of us.
We've been together for four years and have two boys, ages 6½ (not biologically his but he's basically adopted him) and an 18½ month old. I couldn't be happier with my marriage. :-)
It's definitely not based completely on sex. We have a great deal of respect and appreciation for each other and work well together, complimenting each other all the time. He treats me like a queen and I feel very secure in our marriage--never have second thoughts or regrets with him, and I'm pretty sure he feels the same concerning my actions towards him.
We try to be very aware of keeping all communication open so we can better work together to accomplish things. We don't always agree, but we practically never argue or fight. In the four years we've been together, I think we've had one, maybe two fights. But we agree that we share the common goal of working together to support and encourage each other, no matter what, and to be there to provide a secure and content foundation for our children.
I can't imagine my life without him, and he tells me the same almost daily. I think more than anything, making a concious effort to verbally and physically express our appreciation, respect, and love for each other is what makes most of everything else fall into place to keep our marriage strong.
We've been together for four years and have two boys, ages 6½ (not biologically his but he's basically adopted him) and an 18½ month old. I couldn't be happier with my marriage. :-)
It's definitely not based completely on sex. We have a great deal of respect and appreciation for each other and work well together, complimenting each other all the time. He treats me like a queen and I feel very secure in our marriage--never have second thoughts or regrets with him, and I'm pretty sure he feels the same concerning my actions towards him.
We try to be very aware of keeping all communication open so we can better work together to accomplish things. We don't always agree, but we practically never argue or fight. In the four years we've been together, I think we've had one, maybe two fights. But we agree that we share the common goal of working together to support and encourage each other, no matter what, and to be there to provide a secure and content foundation for our children.
I can't imagine my life without him, and he tells me the same almost daily. I think more than anything, making a concious effort to verbally and physically express our appreciation, respect, and love for each other is what makes most of everything else fall into place to keep our marriage strong.
i have been married 10 years next year,and i am not saying that we havent had our ups and downs,our fall outs even a big bust up 4 years ago,but with the love strength and trust we came through it and are happy,marriage is not just about sex,it is about so much more than that,my husband treats me as an equal and i him,we talk listen have fun and are always there for each other,
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Look, men and women are wired completely different. Most men won't offer much of their true feelings. It is a typical male gender stereo-type. Offering up ones true feelings is seen as a weakness with a lot of men. Men are raised to be tough and handle their own problems and to live and die by their choices and mistakes... tragic really. I'll also say that some men won't offer up their true feelings because they don't want to hurt your feelings.
Don't get me wrong, I am not making excuses for your husband. Marriage takes a lot of work on both partners behalves. As specialmom kind of touched on, listening to him might give you a better insight as to what he is trying to say. Listening is different than hearing. Listening requires you to open your mind and look at the bigger picture. (For me, as often as I am so direct, I can also be really vague.) The key is communication and again, it takes an effort from the both of you.
This really is about both of you making some changes. Perhaps subtle, but it is an ongoing thing. Marraiges don't stop the day you exchange vows and rings. Marriages grow from that day. Changes need to be made and we often have to offer consolations. Sometimes it is better to be happy more than right.