Are all men like this??? Men, please respond too!!! And be truthful!

[wunabnorm]

Ok... so my husband and I have been married for little over a year. He is a great stepdaddy to my 2 boys, but... he seems to have a problem. Ok...just for example... today, he called me from work, and I guess he was on break, and his coworker which is also his best friend, were getting breakfast at a resteraunt. We talked for a couple minutes, and then we said goodbye, and he hung up, (so he thought) Well... while I could overhear his complete conversation with his coworker, talking about how hot one of the girls that worked there was, then my husband was like "yeah... I wanna smash the little one". And, then the coworker was like and I wanna knock the other one up. Considering he already has 3 kids by one woman, and has another one pregnant right now, this disgusted me! I mean... all his friends are really nice guys in all, and would give you the shirt off their back if you needed it, but... they all seem to cheat on their wives, and or girlfriends, and wonder what it's like to be in every girl they sees pants. They are all in there mid to late 20's, but I feel like this is a problem, and I want to know do ALL men think this way, and some just don't say it aloud, or if they truly need help, because they have beautiful, loving wives at home, but they fantasize about these other girls! I just don't get it. I mean... it is one to THINK about something, but to say it is another. When I confronted my husband about it, he just said "aww... baby... I'm so sorry! I was just talking ****, I wasn't doing anything, and blah.blah... but, I feel like they must talk like this all the time, and if that's how they talk, then that must be how they think right? Basically, they all grew up in the same neighborhood where everyone messed around with everyone, and mostly everyones parents still live in that same neighborhood, and so they continue to be friends. Well, It must be in the water or something because they never change! They still all act like kids. I mean they have good jobs, and families and all, but... they just can't seem to change their boyish ways! I feel like he will NEVER change! So please tell me... Am I overreacting?

[wunabnorm]

ok, just dont assume that I am basing my marriage outcome on the people in this forums beliefs. However, I asked for peoples opinion reguarding this matter, and I respect your opinion, however I do not agree with it. For the 2nd time, I HAVE addressed my husband reguarding this situation BEFORE I wrote this forum actually, and honestly... when I originally posted it, I was hoping to get more feedback from MEN, because I was curious to know how they felt in reguards to matters like this. Besides... this IS a forum after all, you know... for people to dicuss topics that matter to THEM, now if you're not interested, then YOU should be the one to stay off MY post. It only makes since. You put your foot in your mouth on this one. Anyone agree?

[chellybeans]

maybe not ok... just typical. i think pertykitty has just accepted the reality that so many want to avoid. fact is most guys do this. if not to our faces, then behind our backs. guys think different than girls. it's just how they work. and while not condoning the boys will be boys line, i think they have alot of pressure from the guys. if they don't chime in every now and then there will be some jerk to call them "whipped" or some other charming nasty reference to the female genetalia. that doesn't make it okay. but seriouslly, i doubt he meant much by saying it.

when i go out with my girlfriends and we see a hot guy we say the almost obligatory DAMN!!!, but that is it. we have zero intentions of going over and pursuing it. we're just being silly girls. and believe me, i have heard far worse talk from girls than what her dh said! lol. we're all capable of it.

when the convo was over i would have hung up.

i suggest trying to let it go. he'll be alot more careful now. but in answer to your question of "are all men like this?"..the answer. not all, but most.  in one way or another.

[PlateletGal]

You know when someone doesn't hang up their phone that most people listen to try to let that person know that they need to hang up --- especially when they are on a cell phone running down their batteries.

I just don't understand your position. It seems to me that you are saying this behavior is okay -- as long as you don't get caught doing it.

[pertykitty]

ok im going to back out after i say this, im not talking about the wives knowing about it.  im talking about what they dont know.  meaning two men having a game of golf and talking about the sexy drink girl.  not saying this in front of the wife.  so if your friends knew about this its different than what im trying to say.  same outcome i suppose.  and i guess not on a daily occurance like wun is talking about.  how did she know it happens daily? anyway me and my dh dont discuss topics of others in front of each other.  but my best friend and i might say hubba hubba when we see an attractive man. no i wouldnt want my dh talking about screwing others, maybe i came off wrong that way.  however she listened in on a converstation that was private, had she hung up and not intruded she would still be happily in love, or something like that.  im guessing maybe there are more problems that just this.  

[PlateletGal]

I have had friends who have tolerated such behavior and I can tell you that their self esteem was lower than my other friends who had boundaries. It seems like for one reason or another, their relationships never worked out. Obviously nobody likes having their husband talking to his friends about how he would like to have sex with other women.


To each his or her own....

[pertykitty]

read the post im guessing smash means sex (are you in the states never heard that term before). then i suggest you stop  asking strangers what they think and do something about it.  

platelet i am the downfall of man?? lol