I am falling....for the wrong person???

[alvaa]

Ok, first off, I am so glad that there is a relationship forum here. I did not realize that until now. I am a clinically depressed person with anxiety disorder. I am a "family values republican"....whatever that means.

I got divorced in 2007. I have a beautiful 7 year old daughter. I met a girl through school activities. She is 32 (I am 40) and at first I never thought anything about her. She was some woman with 4 kids. She also has tattoos which do not turn me on. The more I got to know her and her personality, the more I liked her. We joined on facebook and it got even more dramatic. She had issues, she had enemies. She has people busting out her car windows and stuff. She is very opposite than me. She has 4 kids from 3 men, one was an affair. She lived with a black man for a while (Let me get back to this). I found out stuff about her because I know the people she works for. She got pregnant in high school. I adore her! I adore her kids. They seem to like me. She asked me out and I am scared. The fact that she live with a black guy does not bother me at all but with the exception that I cannot "measure up" so to speak. I am not even above average for a white guy. She has all of this baggage but I would do anything for her. She is so awesome. I don't want to get hurt but I do not want to hurt her either. Can anyone give me some advice?

[alvaa]

Let me sum up real quick (I am so sorry about this, I am not good with relationships):

We coached a soccer team together. After the season (Around May 2011) we had a play date with our kids. No big deal.
Every couple of weeks or so, she would text me to see how my daughter and I were. I wouldn't push anything there.
I would flirt with her on facebook some and "like" her pictures.
About 2 and 1/2 weeks ago she sent me a text asking me if I wanted to do something without the kids so we could get to know each other. I said sure, maybe (Keeping it open because I wasn't sure I wanted that).
We txted some.
I went to her work the next day to see my friend and her mom. Tisha saw me. We talked a while and I walked to with her to her car.
That night she sent me a text and said that she was so glad to see me.

And then last week, early on, we texted for like 2 hours getting to know each other. The next night we skyped.
She put on my facebook, "Showing your wall some love"
2 days after that, she txted to make sure we were carrying kids to indoor playground.
That night we met there and had a great time. I texted her that night and said I had a good time. She replied the same.
The next day, I didn't bother her all day, but that night I just asked how her day was. She was really short with answers, so I left her alone.
Sunday, I only texted her at around 8:30, wishing her a good week.
Monday, I did not txt her.

Tuesday she posted on facebook, happy valentines day, and that she was sad because she had no one to spend it with (Again, I felt like I had backed away enough)
Also Tuesday, she got the flowers, but stated to someone that I had not txted with her in 3 days and I had her confused that I would send her flowers. Making me think that she thought I was not interested.
I txted her to see if she got them and she thanked me for them.
I told her that I was just trying to keep my distance and not be pushy.
She said that I wasn't.
I told her that I liked her and just wanted her to know.
She said something to the effect of taking it slow. I said ok.
I asked if we could txt later. She said yes.
Last night I txted her and she txted me but she seemed busy, so I told her just txt me if u get a chance. She was having supper with her kids.
At around 8, I asked if she had a good time and we txted for a few. She seemed to have been missing many of my txts. Also, all through this she would send me off the wall txts that actually didn't belong to me. So, I think it is very well possible that she missed some of my txts and thought I stopped txting her.

People I work with, told me to back off because I would push her away if I seemed pushy. I did.

But then her comment confused me.

Sorry for the rant/

[specialmom]

I think backing off is a smart idea.  Whether she is getting the texts or not.  Too much too soon is not a good thing for her or you.  good luck

[alvaa]

Well, I did back off. I stopped texting her so much, and then she made that comment to someone about me not communicating with her so she was surprised that I sent her flowers.

[specialmom]

I'm going to be blunt.  I'm a mom--------  if someone kept texting me when I was with my kids after one 'real' date . . .  well, it is too much!  I mean, play a little hard to get would ya?!  I'm joking but you are way too 'into' this for something that has just started and that spooks a lot of people off.  I've been there and it can actually start to creep someone out.  

I'm serious about this.  I had men that I went on one date with that started calling me everyday (before texting was the 'thing') and send me flowers and I just felt like it was WAY too much WAY too soon.  

You worry me how attached you get so quickly.  I'm glad you are seeing your psychiatrist-----  discuss this with them.  It can be a real issue in dating.  good luck

[alvaa]

I am waiting for the psychiatrist to call me back. I left her a message.

But what I am saying is, I texted her Saturday night and she responded to my first 2 but not the rest. I texted her Sunday night and she did not respond, and then Monday night and she did not respond. Finally Tuesday morning she sent me a text wishing me happy Valentines day. She got the flowers and said that she was confused because I hadn't texted her in 3 days.

I think she has that crappy Wal-Mart plan.

[Londres70]

Have you gone to counseling yet?  You really should sort out your issues including why you attach yourself so quickly to women and of course this severe anxiety of yours BEFORE trying to pursue anyone.  You need to take care of yourself first.    

Seems like you are becoming more and more panicky as you pursue this.