I cheated and hate myself for it

[jameslk]

To anyone reading,
I need help. I'm absolutely ashamed of myself. I cheated on my wife recently. I met up with a family friend who has been flirtatious in the past, and we ended up having sex. It lasted no more than 5 minutes out of me realizing what I was doing and made myself stop. I've been a wreck ever since. I can't believe what I've done. I've never done anything like this to anyone, ever. I don't know what came over me, my wife means the world to me and I can't stand the thought of seeing her in pain after I tell her what I've done.
Which is why I am leaning towards not telling her, it would destroy her and our marriage would be over.

I know what I did was beyond wrong, all I want is for things to be normal again, I can honestly say that I'll never do something like this again. I've been up every night sick to my stomach because of what I've done. Is not telling her given this instance the right thing to do? Would it be selfish to unload all this guilt on her?
The individual I cheated with is also a family friend and her reputation is at stake too. I've really screwed up here.
I'm sorry.

I've currently undergone testing for all STD's, out of paranoia and fear. I would tell her if I contracted something, I'm also checking myself in to therapy, as I've felt for a long time that something isn't right with me. Am I wrong for keeping all this from her? I know this might sound like BS to you, but all I want to do is fix things without hurting her, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me. So please believe me. Please.

Any advice is welcome.
Thank you.

James

[penswriter]

and a family friend makes it better? and everyday people have std's as well...not just hookers. it's not limited to those who get paid for sex. and not all hookers have std's. it's very rude to think only hookers have them.

[coolas]

I'm not sure withholding the truth in a situation like this is 'sneaky'; he's protecting his wife from his moment of idiocy.  Actually, it would be far easier in some ways to just confess, rather than live with this secret, but yes, ignorance can be bliss and if the husband is sincerely remorseful, why open up a can of worms?  And I think all this talk of an std.. It was family friend, not a hooker.

A-

[specialmom]

I would not want to know----  especially if my husband spent the rest of his life making it up to me!!

[penswriter]

i would rather my husband tell me than find out from a stranger...or worse get an std. i think i'd be less mad if he just told me. being sneaky and hiding it would push me over the edge and i would divorce him.

[mami1323]

I agree 100% I would not want to know either.  If my husband realized that he made a mistake and spent the rest of his life making it up to me by treating me good and never cheating on me again, then I would rather live with my husband in happiness.  He learned from his mistake even without his wife finding out.  Good enough for me.

[coolas]

I agree - no point in telling her if it is a one-time mistake that won't be repeated.  Cheaters do not always gets found out and sometimes, ignorance is bliss.  I know that if I was in her position, I would prefer not to know.

A-