The Motives Behind Divorce.

[HamedKhatiz]

Good morning or evening or day or night or afternoon ladies and gentlemen and hello. My name is Hamed Khatiz and I am a sixteen year old student, writer, drummer, adviser, cricketer, shooter guard, friend, former friend, singer and many more from Sydney.

What are the motives behind divorce and break-ups. You marry someone you love, you promise to them and maybe to yourself that you will live your life with this person and love this person forever and five years down the track, affairs happen, phone records are checked, denials are made, near interrogations are held and many more.

Why do you marry someone if all this is going to happen later down the track. Why do you take the pledge to love, obey and protect your partner when very soon down the track, you leave them wondering as I am wondering. You leave them to gather their emotions and recover from extreme emotional anguish themselves. What ever happened to the vows of marriage?

I talked to a beautiful friend of mine, named Maria, who said she was having trouble getting through a break up after nine months. I advised her that maybe it is for the best. Maybe this breakup was to make way for someone, the real one. On My Way by Boyce Avenue, the man for you is coming.

But when I hear these stories of people who are dead set tattered, betrayed, left to pick up the pieces alone, I wonder if people really love people, why would they betray them, hurt them, abandon them even after the divorce. Why take the vows to break them two years later?

You must get this question a lot and before you say anything, I am only sixteen and I have absolutely no clue about divorces, I admit that, so then this is why I want to know. To help other people, to know myself. So take it easy when you write your answer.

Thank you.

Hamed Khatiz.

[deadmemory]

This topic is baffling and confusing in itself. People (fools) rush in, hey I was that fool when I was 20. But I had to leave the marriage as he beat me t
o the point I was near death.. that being said, that is when divorce is needed. But I don't get the infedelity... I don't get the abuse... whatever happened to good ole fashioned love? Affairs...betrayal.. some people forgot that marriage is sacred and it is a promise we make in front of God!

However, when abuse (any type) is involved that is a good motive for divorve... also infedelity..

I don't think we will ever truly understand what drives a person to cheat, or abuse.. it is sad, it really is!

[Hobby10]

B married for years ---- all kinds of reasons can pop up.

[RainLover71]

The motives behind divorce.There are a few that would top any list.Cheating would be right up there along with money problems,falling out of love and drug/alcohol addiction.Domestic violence would feature strongly aswell.If one partner had a mental illness that the other just couldn't cope with.

[TTinKKerBBell]

Good Question.  I hope it never happens to You.  You gotta make sure You marry a person that has the same values as You - therein lies the problem.  No matter how much You think You know someone You can never know what it is to BE that person.  Things happen.

[Ashelen]

I don't think most people take the vows with the intent to break them. Most people don't even know that they COULD break their vows; they think that they are in love, and that they are honest, and that determination will keep them together with their intended spouse.

And then....things change. People grow up, grow apart, money adds stress, kids, depression...and suddenly that person that 2 years ago you loved and couldn't live without is making you less happy instead of more.

I have never been divorced..I've been with the same man for almost 9 years now, and we've been married for over 4...so I can't say for SURE why people get divorced, but I've seen it happen to enough friends and usually it's just that life has pulled them apart...no one INTENDED to hurt the other, but we're only human and vows said with even the greatest sincerity and dedication can be broken when you yourself are weak and broken, which is the case for many people who stray or seek divorce...they are simply struggling within their own hearts and maintaining a marriage is more effort than they are capable of expending.

[brice1967]

Statistically, the #1 and #2 reasons for divorce are infidelity and finances.  There are probably 100 reasons that follow, but like specialmom suggested, each divorce or break up is individual.  Some people to fall out of love.... it happens.

[specialmom]

Every divorce and break up is individual.