Do I confess?

[daisy653]

Hi. My b/f and I have so much in common... but one thing. He isn't a virgin but I am. I'm a little nervous. Do I tell him? Or keep it a secret? Thanks.

[LostGuy92]

I wish someone would tell her that.  I have told her that and as you saw on my thread well its not all peaches and cream.  But in all honesty the poster here I wanted to share a life story and let her know there is no need to be embrassed about.  Sex is just like a relationship.  You communicate about it and you do things at the level you are comfy with (though you will be nervous that will never change).

[Jaybay]

LostGuy92 - you are probably the sweetest, most respectful man I've ever seen on this forum.  You're girlfriend is a lucky lady.  :-)

[LostGuy92]

I agree with all the previous posters.  My Girlfriend was 25 before she and I went to that level and was a virgin.  We took it slow steady and I let her ask as many questions as she wanted...  I only did what SHE was comfortable with.

I never forced her to have sex and when she got ready to do it we had 3 times before the actual day (yes I know the actual day we hard our first sexual encounter.) that she decided she thought she was ready but wasn't.  So nothing to be embrassed about.

[brice1967]

Daisy, that is not something to be embarrassed about.  Relax, let things develop, and if the time is right so be it.  Having your virginity is something to be proud of, and only the most special person is worthy of being with you.

[jenkaye21]

Yes, you should be very proud of your decision.  And I agree with the others, wait until if/when your relationship gets to that point.  

[daisy653]

Thanks for the replies and the help. I'm feeling better about it. I'm in my late 20's and I felt embarrassed, but I know now it is ok. When and if the time comes, I'll know the right thing. He is very sincere and caring. I'm sure he will respect me.

[specialmom]

Good point Teko!!

[teko]

Why tell him? If and when your relationship goes to that level, then is the time to surprise him. I think it is something to be very proud of, but telling him too early will make him want to pick that cherry! I would hold out for that special someone and be in no hurry to give it away to anyone undeserving. Once its gone, its gone so make it special for you.

[specialmom]

Is being a virgin a bad thing?  Actually I think most men would find this to be a good thing.  And I think in telling him, if you decide to sleep with him, it would be helpful for him to know.  


If given a choice of having a girlfriend that slept around or one who waited for the "right" time---------- you'd be surprised how many men would prefer the woman in waiting.  

Good luck-----------  I think you are in for a pleasant surprise as to his reaction to this news.  

PS------- if you are still a teen, I think that waiting even longer is a good idea.  Just my opinion though.  

[AHP84]

This is entirely up to you, and I think you should base your decision on the type of man your boyfriend is.
Is he the type of man to respect your virginity and allow you the time you need to decide if you want to give it up to him or wait? Or do you think he will see you as a conquest once you tell him, and try to convince you to let him take it because he "loves you?"
I don't know how old you are or how old your boyfriend is, or how long you've been dating, and you don't tell us anything about your relationship and the types of things you have in common. So the best advice I can give is to feel no shame about still being a virgin--don't be afraid to tell him because you think it's an embarassment on yourself. Tell him or don't tell him based on how you think HE will respond to it.

[Ashelen]

It may never come up, but if it does...tell him. Honesty is 100% the best policy in any relationship :-).