Aa
Is it appropriate?
Is age 10 too old for a father and daughter to shower together? Or what age is too old for them to shower together? I know a girl that is 18 years old and has told me that her and her father showered up until she was 10 years old. She has also said to me I wonder what size my father penis is. I know she is older now but I dont know where to go with this.
Thanks for all the advise. I will take all of it to heart. I guess i felt bad for her and wanted to be a shoulder for her to cry on. I just hope they all get the help they need here. I feel the father needs help here too. I just wish he would of listened to back when we dated that the things his daughter was doing was not what I would call normal at all. But to him it was just a daughter trying to show love to her father.. Oh well I can at least say I tried here. :)
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, that is a good reason to stop dating for sure. I think I would extricate yourself from his daughter. We can have great empathy for someone but there are red flags here that as a single mother, you don't need to be involved in.
I think somehow the friendship between you two got out of whack. Really, you are older, dated her dad, etc. and there wasn't a good basis for a friendship anyway. I use the word friendship because babysitter and employer do not have conversations of such a personal nature (showering with dad/penis size/ etc.). Probably the 'friendship' between the two of you wasn't a great idea to begin with due to the dynamics of you, her father and what you know of her father and her. AND, that she is distraught that her father has a new girlfriend, his ex girlfriend is probably not a good place to vent. See what I am saying?
You need to uninvolve yourself with this family. good luck
I think somehow the friendship between you two got out of whack. Really, you are older, dated her dad, etc. and there wasn't a good basis for a friendship anyway. I use the word friendship because babysitter and employer do not have conversations of such a personal nature (showering with dad/penis size/ etc.). Probably the 'friendship' between the two of you wasn't a great idea to begin with due to the dynamics of you, her father and what you know of her father and her. AND, that she is distraught that her father has a new girlfriend, his ex girlfriend is probably not a good place to vent. See what I am saying?
You need to uninvolve yourself with this family. good luck
Thanks Brice 1967. I know I think she is crying out for attention.Of what i know of her father he feels her action are completely ok because she is his daughter. This discussion has come up before when we were dating but not exactly what I ask here and he felt it was ok. I think that is why i stop dating him. Because his parenting skills were different from mine.
If this girl feels no need to get professional help, your work there is done. I wouldn't take the time to counsel anyone who isn't looking for help. To me, it sounds like the girl is screaming for help.... but you cannot help those who don't want help.
If you plan to continue to talk to her, the very next time she brings the subject up, let her know that the subject is off limits. By doing that, you are shutting the door and are not playing into her hand. The discussion is not one you should be having with this person in the first place. I think you know that. You can talk about the weather, flowers, purses or whatever you girls talk about.... the size of dad's wanker is off limits at all times.
If you plan to continue to talk to her, the very next time she brings the subject up, let her know that the subject is off limits. By doing that, you are shutting the door and are not playing into her hand. The discussion is not one you should be having with this person in the first place. I think you know that. You can talk about the weather, flowers, purses or whatever you girls talk about.... the size of dad's wanker is off limits at all times.
She was at my house visiting with me and she started to talk about all of this. I have backed off since with her coming around my kid, I mean i still text and talk to her on the phone but that is as far as it goes. I guess i felt sorry for her and was trying to comfort her, since her father n i dated at one time. I know her father has a new gf and i think maybe this is why she thought the need to bring it up. I have no idea though. I have told her these things are not right, but she truly feels they are ok because it is with her father. She has told me this. I have told her this is not right. But that is all i can do for her. I told her also to seek professional help and she doesnt feel she needs too.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Yes, this sounds like a troubled girl. And frankly, discussing these things with a young woman that is babysitting your kids, the daughter of a former lover/boyfriend probably isn't appropriate. How did this even come up?
Ya know, some things you have to leave to the professionals and this situation goes on the list. Encourage her to seek therapy and exit out of the situation. She's now an adult and not being abused and says she never was . . .. So encourage she seek counseling and help in the psychological area and move on.
Something still doesn't sit right with me about this (besides the obvious) and I again will say that you shouldn't over involve yourself here. good luck
Ya know, some things you have to leave to the professionals and this situation goes on the list. Encourage her to seek therapy and exit out of the situation. She's now an adult and not being abused and says she never was . . .. So encourage she seek counseling and help in the psychological area and move on.
Something still doesn't sit right with me about this (besides the obvious) and I again will say that you shouldn't over involve yourself here. good luck
It's commendable that You want to help Her through this but the best help You can offer Her is to encourage Her to see a therapist. I think everyone here sees this as a bigger issue than the size of Her Father's penis.
How many problems are there regarding this post? Holy mother of pearl! A father showering with his 10 year old daughter..... no, bad idea... plenty of dysfunction that in my opinion borders numerous legal/abuse issues. The daughters fixation about her fathers penis size? Something is terribly amiss here.
Sounds like there needs to be some kind of an intervention and a whole bunch of couch time for the whole family.
Did I see mention that this daughter wants to baby sit? Never in a million years would I allow this kid to baby sit at my house. Too many red flags to even consider risking another childs welfare.
Sounds like there needs to be some kind of an intervention and a whole bunch of couch time for the whole family.
Did I see mention that this daughter wants to baby sit? Never in a million years would I allow this kid to baby sit at my house. Too many red flags to even consider risking another childs welfare.
This girl requires therapy to deal with the whole situation and what happened was totally wrong and inappropriate as the other answerers have stated aswell.If you want to help her then suggest she seeks therapy for these extremely odd and perverted showering activities.It's just not right for these things to occur.
I will agree with Specialmom.
The best you can do is recommend her seeking professional therapy to sort this out.
The best you can do is recommend her seeking professional therapy to sort this out.
Yes it was relating to his father penis size. It blows me away the stuff she tells me. But I want to help her through this.
I question Her curiosity on penis size as relates to Her father?? I would think the size of Her father's penis would not even enter Her mind - I've never wondered about my Dad's penis - never heard of anyone else wondering either. With this family's "openess", perhaps She should ask Her Mother.
The girl has said she thought her dad's penis was small. N was wondering if it was bigger when he was having sex. Because everytime she saw it, it was small.
I'm as confused as Tink.
If this girl is the same girl, why doesn't she know her father's penis size?
Or have I COMPLETELY misunderstood this story?
If this girl is the same girl, why doesn't she know her father's penis size?
Or have I COMPLETELY misunderstood this story?
The 10 year old Girl who showered with Her Dad and the 18 year old Girl who wonders about Her Fathers penis size - are these 2 different Girls or the same Girl eight years later? Have You have been speaking of the same Girl all along?
Thanks I havent been letting her babysit for me lately especially since she told me all this stuff. I wasnt sure what to do here that is why i posted what i did. I am concerned for her. I will just be a friend to her and try and give her the best advise i can. Thanks everyone. Anyone else who wants to weigh in here feel free to do so.
COMMUNITY LEADER
I'm serious when I ask you to you think she has a mental health condition. You seem sincere but something is off with this story. I don't know what but I do wonder. Look for inconsistencies with her.
And, I'm dead serious about this. I would not use her to babysit your children. I'm not condemning her but say she was by chance the victem of molestation and has some psychological issues now---------- these same people can become 'unsafe' to others. Most likely not but I'd never risk it with my kids.
good luck
And, I'm dead serious about this. I would not use her to babysit your children. I'm not condemning her but say she was by chance the victem of molestation and has some psychological issues now---------- these same people can become 'unsafe' to others. Most likely not but I'd never risk it with my kids.
good luck
Sorry inappropiate that her father showered with her was what i meant to say. Not appropiate.
Oh i totally agree with you on this.Her mother should of never ever left this happen. She told me that she watched the Dr.Phil show the other day and the father had sexually incourse with his daughter and they had 4 children together. I ask her if she thought this was ok for a father to have sex with his daughter and she said no its not. But in the next breath she said i could never ever put my father in jail for something like this. Because this is what happened to the father that was on dr. phil the other day. I mean this girl is 18 years old now. I am trying to be here for the girl but it just breaks my heart that she feels this way. I can only give my advise on this, and be supportive to her. I think the father thinks it is appropriate for him to have showered with her until that age. This is just my opinion here.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there. Well, first, are you sure she is not trying to get a reaction out of you? Because okay, she mentions that she showered up until she was age 10. Not good. But then when she asks about the penis size, she loses me. At that point, she is either looking for a reaction/attention or has been molested OR is suffering mental health issues.
On the basic level of showering --- a 10 year old girl with her father, well, that is too old, obviously.
On the basic level of showering --- a 10 year old girl with her father, well, that is too old, obviously.
I was dumbfounded because I thought EVERYONE would see this as TOTALLY inappropriate!!
At the age of 10 Children are very close to puberty themselves and shouldn't be co-naked with ANYONE of the opposite sex!! Of course, She
might think it's okay as She's not been taught differently - She's still a child - but someone (Her Mother?) should intervene!!
That He's never touched Her does not comfort me - maybe that just means He's not a ********* but what if He's waiting for Her to become more mature? Incest DOES occur. That may never happen here but this behavior pushes the envelope in my opinion.
.
At the age of 10 Children are very close to puberty themselves and shouldn't be co-naked with ANYONE of the opposite sex!! Of course, She
might think it's okay as She's not been taught differently - She's still a child - but someone (Her Mother?) should intervene!!
That He's never touched Her does not comfort me - maybe that just means He's not a ********* but what if He's waiting for Her to become more mature? Incest DOES occur. That may never happen here but this behavior pushes the envelope in my opinion.
.
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