Aa
Ranting.
Hey guys I just want to rant and vent.
1 I am tired of the lack of intimacy
2 i m tired of the feeling of walking on eggshells around you
3 i m angry at that I allowed there to be some kind of disconnect between us
4 i m tired of not being heard out
5 i m sick of not being allowed to really show my emotions without the fear of my masculinity being questioned
6 i m tired of you nagging about the lack of intimacy in our relationship but when I try to be intimate I get no feed back at all.It takes to to tango woman
7 I miss the spark we had
8 I miss how easy it was to just talk and talk with one another about anything
9 I am sad to see this once wonderful relationship go down over well i ve no idea or at least a clear one
10 i m tired of me being the one or at least it feels like i am the only one putting in effort in
11 i m tired of always having to pay sensitivity to your depression but when the tables are turned not a word from you
12 i m tired of the feeling that i am having of you using your depression as a cover to not talk or anything(even thou you ***** to me about there being no conversation)
13 i am tired of feeling like i am under a microscope
14 i m tired of not being appreciated or at least feeling like I am
15 i m angry that you held the lack of sex issue on me but everything that prevented this was outside of my control. i could have done that to you but i did not
16 i m tired of not feeling loved.
17 i m tired of not feeling desired anymore
18 i m tired of being understanding for you but not getting the same respect in return
19 i m tired of being put down way down on the list of importance
20 i m angry at myself for ranting on an online forum besides telling this to you
21 I m tired of having to hold in my fears,pet p's,and grievances,because i do not want to add on to your depression
22 i miss well **** I just miss you but you left me and stuck me with an emotionless robot or a cut out of you.What happened? To us? To me?
23 i m angry i m letting this get to me
24 i m angry that i am stuck in an age of where a man does not know how to act anymore
25 i just want to feel loved again and feel that rush once more,is that so much to ask for?
1 I am tired of the lack of intimacy
2 i m tired of the feeling of walking on eggshells around you
3 i m angry at that I allowed there to be some kind of disconnect between us
4 i m tired of not being heard out
5 i m sick of not being allowed to really show my emotions without the fear of my masculinity being questioned
6 i m tired of you nagging about the lack of intimacy in our relationship but when I try to be intimate I get no feed back at all.It takes to to tango woman
7 I miss the spark we had
8 I miss how easy it was to just talk and talk with one another about anything
9 I am sad to see this once wonderful relationship go down over well i ve no idea or at least a clear one
10 i m tired of me being the one or at least it feels like i am the only one putting in effort in
11 i m tired of always having to pay sensitivity to your depression but when the tables are turned not a word from you
12 i m tired of the feeling that i am having of you using your depression as a cover to not talk or anything(even thou you ***** to me about there being no conversation)
13 i am tired of feeling like i am under a microscope
14 i m tired of not being appreciated or at least feeling like I am
15 i m angry that you held the lack of sex issue on me but everything that prevented this was outside of my control. i could have done that to you but i did not
16 i m tired of not feeling loved.
17 i m tired of not feeling desired anymore
18 i m tired of being understanding for you but not getting the same respect in return
19 i m tired of being put down way down on the list of importance
20 i m angry at myself for ranting on an online forum besides telling this to you
21 I m tired of having to hold in my fears,pet p's,and grievances,because i do not want to add on to your depression
22 i miss well **** I just miss you but you left me and stuck me with an emotionless robot or a cut out of you.What happened? To us? To me?
23 i m angry i m letting this get to me
24 i m angry that i am stuck in an age of where a man does not know how to act anymore
25 i just want to feel loved again and feel that rush once more,is that so much to ask for?
If things are unfixable then don't kid yourself, it will only cause more pain.
Anna
Anna
It's stories like this that make me uncomfortable with the idea of my boyfriend or I going off drinking with a group alone without there being the promise of one of us going to pick the other person up at a certain time. It adds accountability to a degree.
My boyfriend was blackout drunk once in our relationship. One too many White Russians during a Big Lebowski party. I was there, and it was at his house. The things he attempted to do to me hurt me emotionally, and he took full responsibility for it the next morning. Never once did he try to blame it on the alcohol, and to this day, he shows remorse. I can't even joke about it, which with him is saying something. He knows he made a choice to drink, especially when I started trying to take them away. He has consciously limited himself since.
The facts about alcohol and drinking are: You know when you are getting too drunk. You know when you are starting to feel your inhibitions slip away, the moment you start to feel like, "I don't care." If you choose to keep drinking beyond that, you're completely responsible for anything that happens.
If you're this unremorseful and unwilling to take full responsibility on an online forum, she's likely seeing this in person. I would imagine it makes it incredibly difficult for her to forgive you. She probably said it to begin with because she wanted to, but infidelity would not be easy to recover from. It steals something from the relationship. You're now not just hers.
I know you feel justified for your actions by blaming it on the alcohol, but the fact is you are responsible. You made the decision to drink, knowing the potential consequences. If she saw true remorse, it might, and I repeat, *might* make it easier for her to truly start to forgive you, but something like that will take a long time to recover from.
My boyfriend was blackout drunk once in our relationship. One too many White Russians during a Big Lebowski party. I was there, and it was at his house. The things he attempted to do to me hurt me emotionally, and he took full responsibility for it the next morning. Never once did he try to blame it on the alcohol, and to this day, he shows remorse. I can't even joke about it, which with him is saying something. He knows he made a choice to drink, especially when I started trying to take them away. He has consciously limited himself since.
The facts about alcohol and drinking are: You know when you are getting too drunk. You know when you are starting to feel your inhibitions slip away, the moment you start to feel like, "I don't care." If you choose to keep drinking beyond that, you're completely responsible for anything that happens.
If you're this unremorseful and unwilling to take full responsibility on an online forum, she's likely seeing this in person. I would imagine it makes it incredibly difficult for her to forgive you. She probably said it to begin with because she wanted to, but infidelity would not be easy to recover from. It steals something from the relationship. You're now not just hers.
I know you feel justified for your actions by blaming it on the alcohol, but the fact is you are responsible. You made the decision to drink, knowing the potential consequences. If she saw true remorse, it might, and I repeat, *might* make it easier for her to truly start to forgive you, but something like that will take a long time to recover from.
I ran a night club for nearly 20 years and I've seen the stupidity that alcohol can evoke. At the end of the day, it was you who cheated... not the alcohol. Alcoholics will use the term, "I was drunk". If you killed someone when you were drunk, you'd be held accountable.
This is the harsh part of this, for the cheater. Owning up to it.... As you mentioned above, you had no intention of "cheating". That's okay, but it doesn't take away the fact that it still happened.
There's nothing that you're going to say that will put a different paint job on this.... "What I did was very wrong and I understand the hurt that I inflicted. I am so sorry for what I've done." That is a good starting point.
This is the harsh part of this, for the cheater. Owning up to it.... As you mentioned above, you had no intention of "cheating". That's okay, but it doesn't take away the fact that it still happened.
There's nothing that you're going to say that will put a different paint job on this.... "What I did was very wrong and I understand the hurt that I inflicted. I am so sorry for what I've done." That is a good starting point.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well,m don't you think this has something to do with allt he prolems. It is hard to get that out of your mind when you've been cheated on. She may be working on forgiving you and really trying her best.
But you have these thoughts in the back of your mind. It is like the loss of innocence to the relationship. Ya know? It can become a new relationship but it will never be the same one she had.
And no one wants to make something even like that. And that fixes nothing anyway. Then you mistrust her and have to get over betrayel as well.
so, I think the cheating is an issue here. I also think there is enough of other things going on that I'm just not sure this is a relationship that should go for the long haul (or if it would be able).
good luck but I do give the advice to move on and start another chapter in your life.
But you have these thoughts in the back of your mind. It is like the loss of innocence to the relationship. Ya know? It can become a new relationship but it will never be the same one she had.
And no one wants to make something even like that. And that fixes nothing anyway. Then you mistrust her and have to get over betrayel as well.
so, I think the cheating is an issue here. I also think there is enough of other things going on that I'm just not sure this is a relationship that should go for the long haul (or if it would be able).
good luck but I do give the advice to move on and start another chapter in your life.
Yes I told her(I even refused to have any physical contact with her)because I was afraid if I had something I did not want to put her in harms way. That night I did not even know any women where going to be there.I was told it was going to be me and two other buddies of mine. Hell i have not even drank at all this that happened because i do not want to put myself in that situation again.I did not go out that night consciously wanting to mess up,if i could go back and never do that again i would in a heart beat. She said she forgave me and understood what happened. hell i feel so bad a bout it i told her she can go and have sex with a random guy to make it even
COMMUNITY LEADER
By the way, I'm not beating up on you. I'm just telling you that I'm sure that episode has caused you anxiety in your relationship. It has probably affected your girlfriend. It is probably part of the reason you and your girlfriend are having signficant issues.
It's hard to bounce back after cheating.
It's hard to bounce back after cheating.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Mistakes happen but my question is that this incident did happen. Does your girlfriend know about it? Could she sense that it happened if you haven't told her? And could her behavior and theses relationship issues have anything to do with it?
I think it is fair to say that when you are making lengthy lists of what is wrong with a relationship, it is time to move on.
That is my advice to you.
and by the way, I never got drunk, blacked out and had sex with random strangers. If you think that is the norm, I'd say to watch the drinking as it might be becoming a problem for you and to hang out with people that know when to cut themselves off. It's not a good sign that anyone blacks out and has sex with random strangers. If I had a boyfriend who did that, it would be a deal breaker. If I drank so much that i woke up with a stranger in bed the next morning, I'd never drink again. That's scary stuff and I don't think this is common as you make it sound. good luck
I think it is fair to say that when you are making lengthy lists of what is wrong with a relationship, it is time to move on.
That is my advice to you.
and by the way, I never got drunk, blacked out and had sex with random strangers. If you think that is the norm, I'd say to watch the drinking as it might be becoming a problem for you and to hang out with people that know when to cut themselves off. It's not a good sign that anyone blacks out and has sex with random strangers. If I had a boyfriend who did that, it would be a deal breaker. If I drank so much that i woke up with a stranger in bed the next morning, I'd never drink again. That's scary stuff and I don't think this is common as you make it sound. good luck
One is ALWAYS responsible for Their own Behaviors. You CHOSE to get "blacked out drunk" SO, You are Responsible for THAT Behavior and all other Behaviors that You do while drunk!!
EVERYTHING Brice said are the words of a Remorseful Man, a Man who is Truely Sorry and takes Responsibility for what He did. And He is absolutely right in what He told You. You would do well to listen to Him. He's been deep in Therapy, Counseling, reading, and working along side His Wife to repair the damage He takes full Responsiblity for causing with the infidelity. He's worked long and hard to try to Repair His Marriage and He has "come to realize (more than anyone I've ever seen!!) exactly what gets destroyed as a result of infidelity". You would do well to listen to His counsel. He KNOWS of what He speaks.
BUT, the FIRST step is to take FULL responsiblity instead of making excuses and "blaming" it on being drunk.
(if You rob a bank while you are "blacked out drunk" and use that as a defense, You are STILL going to jail, it will go down on Your record, and You will be on probation!! - being drunk is also not an excuse for betraying Your Vows - You are STILL Responsible for your Behaviors)
EVERYTHING Brice said are the words of a Remorseful Man, a Man who is Truely Sorry and takes Responsibility for what He did. And He is absolutely right in what He told You. You would do well to listen to Him. He's been deep in Therapy, Counseling, reading, and working along side His Wife to repair the damage He takes full Responsiblity for causing with the infidelity. He's worked long and hard to try to Repair His Marriage and He has "come to realize (more than anyone I've ever seen!!) exactly what gets destroyed as a result of infidelity". You would do well to listen to His counsel. He KNOWS of what He speaks.
BUT, the FIRST step is to take FULL responsiblity instead of making excuses and "blaming" it on being drunk.
(if You rob a bank while you are "blacked out drunk" and use that as a defense, You are STILL going to jail, it will go down on Your record, and You will be on probation!! - being drunk is also not an excuse for betraying Your Vows - You are STILL Responsible for your Behaviors)
My situation is like when a girl goes out with a groups of friends gets to drunk at a party and wakes up with someone that they would never even consider ever sleeping with in their lives,but when a woman does this she gets all its ok it wasnt your fault but god help if a guy does it. I m tired of double standards.
I did not want to cheat on her. I really got drunk like blacked out drunk,so before you start talking like it all my fault take that into consideration.
If you cheated on her, that would certainly cause her to "pull away" on every level that you mentioned. As a cheater, I've come to realize exactly what gets destroyed because of infidelity. The destruction is completely understandable, and you have to put yourself in her shoes....
You have to understand what the relationship meant to her before the infidelity. You have to then understand that the relationship now looks completely fraudulent because of the infidelity. For all of the times you told her how much she means to you, the act of infidelity is screaming that you "didn't give a damned" at least 100 times a day. It all looks like a lie to her.... there was some deception, probably a lack of honesty, and trust has been shattered.
(You are not the knight in shining armor that she once thought you were.) Trying to get that back is difficult. As hard as you try, she is trying to protect herself from getting hurt again. It's rather simple if you look at it this way.... for every action, there is an equal but opposite reaction.
The frustration you are feeling is something that she is contending with. The hurt you're feeling is nothing like she is feeling.
The road after committing infidelity is a long lonely S.O.B... I guarantee you that. if this relationship means anything to you, you will stay and fight with all you've got until you feel as if you've got no more. Then, you will fight for it some more.... You've got a lot to prove. This may or may not work, regardless of how much you put into it. The hurt might be too severe for her to just let you back in.
You're probably fighting a hard line between "trying to giver her space" and "staying and fighting like hell to prove your worth". As I mentioned above, you've got a lot to prove and it isn't going to be easy.
Good luck... and if there was infidelity, remember that you brought this on yourself. This is all of your own making. Realizing that makes going in the right direction easier to do, but it won't be easy.
You have to understand what the relationship meant to her before the infidelity. You have to then understand that the relationship now looks completely fraudulent because of the infidelity. For all of the times you told her how much she means to you, the act of infidelity is screaming that you "didn't give a damned" at least 100 times a day. It all looks like a lie to her.... there was some deception, probably a lack of honesty, and trust has been shattered.
(You are not the knight in shining armor that she once thought you were.) Trying to get that back is difficult. As hard as you try, she is trying to protect herself from getting hurt again. It's rather simple if you look at it this way.... for every action, there is an equal but opposite reaction.
The frustration you are feeling is something that she is contending with. The hurt you're feeling is nothing like she is feeling.
The road after committing infidelity is a long lonely S.O.B... I guarantee you that. if this relationship means anything to you, you will stay and fight with all you've got until you feel as if you've got no more. Then, you will fight for it some more.... You've got a lot to prove. This may or may not work, regardless of how much you put into it. The hurt might be too severe for her to just let you back in.
You're probably fighting a hard line between "trying to giver her space" and "staying and fighting like hell to prove your worth". As I mentioned above, you've got a lot to prove and it isn't going to be easy.
Good luck... and if there was infidelity, remember that you brought this on yourself. This is all of your own making. Realizing that makes going in the right direction easier to do, but it won't be easy.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Why don't you break up Michael. By the way, if you had an indescretion and cheated on her, could that have anything to do with her pulling away?
27 i m tired of me saying I love you and not hearing it back,even tho you are the one nagging about intimacy. Do you know how much that hurts when you show love for someone and not getting any love back?
I feel like a woman complaining like this
I feel like a woman complaining like this
26 i m tired of me feeling like i am the one always sacrificing something for you.
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